The Last Hurrah

Spring break is basically done, and some of us might be pissed that it falls on the week of St. Patrick's Day (I am), and also the first week of the Hockey East Tournament.. Oh wait! Luckily, UNH hockey saved us the trouble of missing the Wildcats play for some kind of hardware by shitting the bed in the first round against Vermont at home! Awesome! Thanks again!

Spring break is great because it can be used for a week of relaxing at home, watching the snow dwindle away and catching some college basketball, or going on a trip somewhere warm around or outside of the country. It's a very versatile week of not having to do anything. Most of the time, there's one thing missing from most spring breaks: partying with your friends from college. That's because all of them are on spring break too probably not doing what you're doing, but I really don't have a better way to introduce this point across, so bear with me.

Let me put on some music first before I get this thing rolling.



There's about two months left of being at UNH for the majority of campus. That's about eight or nine more weekends of partying. I'm not doing any more math, but that's not a lot of time left. This is the end of the year. Why do you think SCOPE calls their concert the Spring Climax? It's so the last months before summer can jizz booze and bad decisions all over the campus for the residents of Durham to clean off before the cycle begins all over again. At least, that's my understanding of it.

If this is your freshman year, make the rest of your time here count. If you're a senior, make the rest of your time here count, because DAMN LIFE IS GOING TO SUCK AFTER THIS. Have you been reading any of the news? Most college students don't really listen to it since they're in a protective bubble on campus where the only problems are when you're going to get beer and how you're going to get into that frat. Also, you think it's acceptable to drink on Thursdays in the real world? Do it a couple times and your friends will hold an intervention for your alcoholism.

With the warm months comes the magical hobby of drinking outside while it's sunny. There are few feelings that beat the experience of sitting on a lawn at Young Drive or anywhere else holding a beer/Solo cup/whatever you're drinking while it's one in the afternoon. Outside beer pong? Much more interesting with the wind as a factor. And probably one of the best things about the warm months of college? Skirt day, when all the girls decide to ditch sweatpants and actually gussy themselves up and wear something that leaves less to the imagination. THIS IS YOUR TIME. MAKE IT COUNT.

You might ask why the fuck I'm repeating the same thing over and over again. I want to get it through your heads. Colleges in Florida, California, and places like that? It's warm over there for so much longer than it is up here. They're spoiled with great months like this. Skirt day is every day. They can drink outside as frequently as they want. Since we're in New Hampshire, the time with warm weather that we have is much shorter than them. Sure, global warming might equalize things in a couple decades but you won't be in college then.

When we get back, I want porch drinking. I want day-long parties. I want Polish horseshoes. No, that's not a sex act. Look it up.

We've only got a handful of weekends left to make Durham residents consider selling their house and moving somewhere less rowdy. MAKE IT COUNT.