3 Years of Nonsensical Happenings

Today, March 30th is a big day. Not only is it The Cabinet Kid's 22nd birthday, but it is also the third anniversary of this very blog. (I still don't know if I should call it an anniversary or birthday. Fuck it, birthday it is.)

In honor of this blog turning three years old I want you all to go out and have a helluva weekend. You all deserve it. Have a drink on me. (No I won't buy it, but think of this blog as you take your first swig). We've been through a lot together. In celebration of this blog turning three I don't want a gift or anything, in fact some of you may be receiving one (more on that hopefully by the end of the weekend or next week) but I do ask that you fill out the survey on this blog if you haven't yet. It only takes a few minutes and I've already had about 60 responses. The best answers will probably be posted soon, but please take it seriously. Thanks.

So in honor of this blog's 3rd birthday, I give you the best account I can imagine of my 22nd last week. (So far on the survey the drinking stories/alcohol posts are balancing each other out in the "least" and "most" favorite parts. Here's a drinking tale so if you don't like them stop reading here.)

I never had the super crazy 21st birthday that most college kids get to experience. Last year when I turned 21 it fell upon the last Sunday of Spring Break, so the night before many of my friends had not yet returned to campus so I stayed in a drank with a few friends for the night. That next day my older brothers, who I am very close with, took me around Portsmouth and some other area bars for some good ole day drinking. That night, a Sunday, wasn't fit for a party, but I still had fun.

That being said, when I turned 22 last week my roommates and friends were sure to make up for it in a big way and being the loving assholes that they are, they kept the drinks coming fast down at the Knot, but I'm already getting ahead of myself. The night began in my apartment with 3 or 4 Rolling Rocks, possibly the most underrated cheap beer, before we headed downtown. Somewhere around 8 well drinks later (a combo of whiskey and rum and cokes) the shots and "fun" drinks came. First it was a Three Wise Men shot, which is a combo of Jim Beam, Jack Daniels and Johnnie Walker mixed together. Not bad at all. The Jack and Johnnie easily cancel out ole' Jimmy and as a whiskey fan I approved.

Next came the Irish Car Bomb and I pounded that son of a bitch like a pro. Next, a birthday cake shot from the ladies. Super sugary, but not a bad shot to take. Another round of whiskey cokes was followed up by the biggest jackass move and what I believed would be the knockout punch later on: a jagerbomb. And it wasn't even the jager, but the massive amount of Red Bull I had to drink so quickly. A few more whiskey cokes and I was ready head home.

This was taken roughly 3/4 into the night.

I made it to the apartment, hit the couch and then came the spins. Vomit after vomit. The toilet seat was my best friend and I wouldn't let go. Every time I made it back to bed, I'd sprint back to the bathroom in double time. Now, usually when one vomits the hangover is less intense, sometimes even nonexistent at times the following morning. I didn't have class until 3PM and even that was too soon.

Now why am I telling you all this story you ask? Well, I think that it is good to celebrate and just go nuts once in a while. I have great roommates and friends and we always watch out for one another, even if we're responsible for another spending the night praying to the porcelain god. This is my last semester at UNH and we're trying to make the most of every night we have left here.

Cheers to 3 great years!

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Joggling: It takes balls

You've seen him running up and down Main Street. With balls. Juggling. Faster than you can run. UNH senior Thomas Gounley is set to run the Boston Marathon, while juggling. Yeah, you read that right. He is also a twitter extraordinaire and also has been a TNH editor for a few years now. Next time you see him joggling down Main Street give him a shout out or send him a tweet.

On the blog tomorrow: A graphic recap of the New Hampshirite's 22nd birthday in honor of the blog's third birthday. That's right, tomorrow is the 3rd anniversary of the University of Nonsensical Happenings launching and taking UNH by storm.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

It knows...

Hey Facebook, quit creepin' on me! How you know UNH has given me memories? You stalkin' my pics? I make my own memories!

Help me, Help You

Dear Nonsensical Nation,

With just a few months left of the school year, and my final year here at UNH, I have been brainstorming ways to give back to UNH. I have a few small projects in mind. But, I would also like your help. This blog has been a major part of my UNH career. I'm very proud of what it evolved into and I am always looking for ways to improve it and my own writing style and ability. I decided to create a short survey to help me get a better understanding of what my readers are like and why you come to this blog. It will not only help improve this blog over the last few months, but it will also help me with future projects as well. Please take a few minutes to fill out the survey, it is only 10 questions long and about half of it is multiple choice so it won't take long. Thank you so much.

Love,

The New Hampshirite

Click here to take survey

It Can Happen to You

Note: This post is my TNH column for today. I decided to rewrite and formalize my last piece about the recent roofying incidences because I felt it was important to receive a wider audience. I rewrote parts of the intro and conclusion and extended some details so I felt the need to republish it on the blog. Thanks.

In a perfect world this type of column would not be necessary for college students, because we have all heard the warnings, been through health classes and probably seen “The Hangover,” but after a few recent events it appears a small PSA might be necessary.

In a perfect world students could go out and have fun without having to worry what is in their drink, or whether or not someone is being friendly or has a secret agenda. But this is not a perfect world.

When you go out at night, whether to the bar or to a party, please be smart about your drinks. Over the past few weeks, there have been two incidents where a friend or an acquaintance of mine has been roofied, or at least there was an attempt. Luckily neither attempt was 100 percent successful, and the worst that happened was a minor brownout and some vomit. Let me explain.

The first incident took place at Scorps a few weeks ago. One of my roommate’s friends had one drink in him when he drank his girlfriend’s drink because she didn’t want it. In a short time he began acting strange and completely out of it, which was weird because he had only had two drinks. The friends he was with took him to one of their nearby apartments, where he passed out and later woke up unsure of what had happened. Clearly, his girlfriend’s drink had been spiked, and luckily nothing serious happened as the result.

The second incident took place more this past weekend at Libby’s. A friend of ours foolishly accepted a drink from a guy because it was her birthday and she assumed he was just being friendly. When she returned to our friend’s table she put the drink down where one of my roommate’s accidentally drank part of it because it was the same type of drink he had. He thought it tasted a little weird, but didn’t think much of it.

Soon, and much like the first incident, he began acting weird as the night progressed. While at Kurt’s he suddenly did not recognize his girlfriend of over six months, but then quickly snapped out of it. He couldn’t understand why he had been so confused. Upon returning to our apartment he randomly punched another roommate quite hard in the shoulder, and then again snapped out if it. Apologizing and saying he had no idea why he just did that.

In the morning he remembered being at the bar and Kurt’s, but he did not remember being at our apartment or hitting our roommate. Clearly the drink was spiked, but it didn’t fully hit him as he faded in and out of being aware of his surroundings.

What we do know is that both girls who were “targeted” were small blondes, but obviously there is no way to find out if it was the same person or really anything else, because of how the situations and nights played out. In the first situation there must have been a quick slip that went unnoticed, while in the second situation our friend could not recall what the guy looked liked who handed her the drink.

There are a few simple tips that can help prevent situations like these from happening. There are always going to be jerks who break the law and try to drug people, so the best thing you can do is be prepared to lower the probability of it happening to you.

Obviously you should never accept a drink from someone you don’t know. Always keep your drink in your hand or directly in front of you if you are sitting down, and while standing hold your drink with the “claw” grip, covering the top with your palm and fingers. It won’t completely cover your drink, but it will make it much more difficult for someone to drop a pill in. As you get more drunk you are more likely to make stupid mistakes and dumb decisions, but really the best prevention is to simple make better decisions and watch out for your friends. Luckily both of these incidents turned out to be harmless considering their potential consequences, but it goes to show that stuff like this really does happen quite frequently.

Stay classy, not UMassy

Watch Yo Drank

I feel like this type of post shouldn't be necessary for college students because we have all heard the warnings, been through health classes and probably seen The Hangover, but after a few recent events it appears a small PSA might be necessary.

When you go out at night it, whether to the bar or to a party, please be smart about your drinks. Over the past few weeks there have been two incidences where a friend of mine has been roofied, or at there was an attempt. Luckily neither were successful and the worst that happened was a minor brownout and some vomit. Let me explain.

The first incident took place at Scorps a few weeks ago. A friend of ours had one drink in him when he drank his girlfriend's drink because she didn't want it. In a short time he began acting strange and completely out of it which was weird because he had only had two drinks. His friends he was with took him to one of their nearby apartments where he passed out. Clearly his girlfriend's drink had been spiked and luckily nothing serious happened as the result.

The second incident took place last night at Libby's. A friend of ours foolishly accepted a drink from a guy (of course she doesn't recall what he looks like at all and also it was her birthday so she stupidly accepted it) and she returned to our friend's table. She put the drink down where one of my roommate's accidentally drank part of it because it was the same type of drink he had. He thought it tasted a little weird, but didn't think much of it.

Again, he began acting weird not too long later. While at Kurt's he suddenly didn't recognize his girlfriend, but then quickly snapped out of it. Upon returning to our apartment he randomly punched another roommate quite hard in the shoulder (which was actually quite humorous) and then again snapped out if it. Apologizing and saying he had no idea why he just did that. This morning he remembers the bar and Kurt's, but he doesn't remember being at our apartment. Clearly the drink was spiked, but it didn't fully hit him as he faded in and out of being aware of his surroundings.

What we do know is that both girls who were "targeted" were small blondes, but obviously there is no way to find out if it was the same scumbag or really anything else because of how the situations and nights played out.

So, obviously you should never accept a drink from someone you don't know. Always keep your drink in your hand or directly in front of you if you are sitting down and while standing hold your drink with the "claw" grip, covering the top with your palm and fingers. It won't completely cover your drink, but it will make it much more difficult. As you get more drunk your more likely to make stupid mistakes and dumb decisions, but really the best prevention is to simple make better decisions. Luckily both of these incidences turned out to be harmless considering the potential, but it goes to show that stuff like this really does happen quite frequently.

Stay smart out there and stay classy, not UMassy.

PS: To people who need to roofy chicks: FUCK you, you piece of shit scum. You are the lowest of the low. If you can't pick up a girl or flirt without drugging her then you're doing it wrong. I hope you get caught and get in a lot of trouble because you deserve it. Dick head.

Get off Your Ass and Walk to Class

I have a proposition for UNH and Wildcat Transit: If you really care about the overall health and well being of the students, the environment and the school's budget, then why the hell do you feel the need to run all three Gables/A Lot connectors on days like today? It's so fricken' beautiful out how would anyone want to take the bus? (Okay, other than the fact that they have AC). I have a new health campaign for the school to advertise.

It's called "Get off your ass and walk to class."

Personally, as a Gables resident I only take the bus if it is raining or I am vastly under-dressed for a nippy New England morning. I know a lot of people probably think this is stupid, would be impossible to run and would only make things more confusing, and I would agree, but it is more about making a point. Also, don't complain about the gym being too crowded if you're too lazy to walk to class.

While I'm on this slight rant I would just like to throw this out there: Why the hell do students show up to a class where attendance is not mandatory and then talk the entire class? Just stay the hell home or keep your mouth shut. You are not more important than anyone else and everyone in the class hates you. Shouldn't you be at the beach on a day like today anyways?


And while on that topic, I've missed classes this week because I've been under the weather, not because of the weather. This just isn't fair because it is probably the one week of the semester my professors wouldn't believe me. Spring colds are the worst.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Someone is late to the party...

These comments were left on a two-year-old post yesterday. I have a hankering that they were left by the same person. Needless to say, they made my hangover feel much better this morning.

This stuff with dining just never seems to go away...

Oh, and in case you're wondering why I am hungover on a Wednesday...

This was before the night was over. My 22nd birthday just kicked my 21st in the ass.

Looking back to move forward

Over three and a half years ago on a hot and humid August morning I remember pulling onto campus with my mom in her blue Ford Freestyle. We followed the signs that directed us towards Williamson Hall and we pulled up on the sidewalk and began unpacking. I remember exchanging awkward glances and head nods with different kids on my floor, a few of who I currently share an apartment with today. We had an extremely tight floor, which really helped mold my non-academic career at UNH. It has been an absolutely insane few years for me at UNH and I do not plan to change that for my last couple of months here.

On of the most common things I’ve written, whether it is in this column or on my blog, is that I would not start worrying about life in the “real world” until the second semester senior year. Now that I am a second semester senior, even now that my final spring break has ended, I can say that not much has changed. Am I worried about my future? No, not really. Am I anxious about finding a job out there? That is starting to build a little more with each passing week. Am I going to miss UNH, the friends I’ve made here and all our shenanigans? Absolutely.

I have always been the easygoing “one-day at a time” type of person. For example, I commonly say “well, I can always just start that paper tomorrow.” I am honestly not sure if it is good or bad that I am like this, but it definitely makes things a lot less stressful, which is a huge bonus in college and my grades have always been really well. If there is one thing I have noticed that hurt people in their college careers, it is not being able to appropriately deal with the levels of stress they encounter.

UNH has been such a special place for me and with graduation (that evil “G” word that should not be spoken) right around the corner it is safe to say that I would not have wanted to go anywhere else. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t change anything. To put it simply I wish I could have done more during my time here, to have made a bigger impact on the UNH community.

UNH is far from perfect, but it has been such a perfect fit for me. I’m more educated, well rounded and I can honestly say that the most important thing that college has taught me is to think on my own. But to put that in even simpler terms, college had taught me how to think. That is really important.

Side note to the Union Leader: notice how I said UNH has taught me “how” to think and not “what” to think. There is a major difference. UNH has done more for this state and our young people than the Union Leader could ever dream of doing.

Academics aside, UNH has done even better things for me. Most important to me is my close group of friends. These are people who I know I will remain in contact with for the rest of my life no matter where our different paths take us. A major knock against UNH that many people have is that we lack a strong sense of community and traditions. But UNH is what you make of it and that freedom is undeniable. Whether your best friend is a specific carrel in Dimond or your floor mates from freshman year, UNH is everything you allow it to be.

As a senior who is about to move on I would like to issue a challenge to the underclassman here. Never be satisfied, always strive for more out of yourself, your school and this state. UNH is a fantastic place, but it is up the students to make it even better. Even if it is something simple like changing quiet hours, the students have proven that we have the upper hand against the administration if you use it correctly.

Continue to make the UNH community stronger by creating new traditions and our school will become impossible for the state to ignore. UNH already deserves a higher respect from the state, we are its flagship university, but until the voters and the people in Concord, and sadly the people who run the Union Leader because it is the state’s only major newspaper realize that, UNH is going to have to keep fighting for itself. The administration cannot do that alone, so student support is absolutely necessary. Keep fighting, do not be satisfied and demand respect because UNH deserves it.

Stay classy, not UMassy

Post Spring Break Thoughts

 Another great UNH Meme

I have survived my final spring break, I survived a trip into the depths of UMaine and now I can survive a week of classes with beautiful weather... I hope. It probably won't help that my birthday is this week, but I believe in myself. It's kind of scary to think that today is my last day as a 21-year-old. This past year flew by, but it was absolutely amazing. I wish I could turn 21 all over again. (The only reason I feel the need to mention this is because you should all send me a present or buy me a drink. You can figure out how somehow...) 

Over break UNH experienced another heart breaking end to a hockey season. This one, perhaps because it was my final year as a student fan hurt even more, but failing to make the NCAA tournament for what would have been an 11th straight year is really frustrating. But, it is not all bad news. The last time UNH finished a season with a losing record, they followed it up by going 28-11 the next year. This team has a lot of young talent and I will enjoy following them as an alumni as much as I hate the thought of that. 

You know what, this weather is just to damn nice and I need to read before my next class so I'll just leave you all with this. Enjoy it out there UNH.

SB2012? Let's go to Maine... wait, what?

I'm heading up to UMaine tomorrow to visit my high school buddy for St. Patrick's Day weekend. Long time readers may know him as the commenter "Maine Guy." If I don't make it back alive, avenge my death by either killing Bananas or burning down Alfond. I'm not really sure what to expect because I know those Mainers aren't the brightest bunch, but I'm sure it'll be a lot of fun.

The last time I visited Maine, a lot of crazy stuff happened so I'm hoping this will be a fun way to wrap up my final spring break.

Once break is over I'll be returning to UNH for my final stretch of classes. Ever. That is terrifying and awesome at the same time. But I'd say about 98.7% terrifying. That being said, it will have to be the greatest two months or so in UNH's history. I have a couple final projects in the works so stay tuned and see you next week Nonsensical Nation.

Stop Kony

Over the past few days this video has been spreading across the internets. It is about a half-hour long, but it is well worth it and it will probably make you think differently about the world and yourself. In short, Joseph Kony is a rebel leader in Uganda who moves from village to village capturing children and forcing them into his child army. But he has no motives or and ulterior other than just being in charge. Think Blood Diamond without the diamonds. Watch and see how you can help stop Kony. Put down your xbox controller or your text book for 30 minutes, because this is more important and well worth it.

If you are interested, there is already a UNH chapter on Twitter and a Facebook Event Page. Follow them for updates and more information about how you can help here at UNH.

Alcohol: The Gasoline of the College Student

 It gives us motivation, it keeps us going through good times and bad, it provides us with a reason to celebrate and it is always just a little bit too expensive.

Alcohol is the college student's gasoline.

Just like our more productive members of society who always need to save money to pay for gas, college students are always sure to have enough money for a weekend's worth of booze. Not every college student drinks alcohol, but not everyone relies on gas. That is what bikes, electricity and running shoes are for.

Alcohol is the college student's savior. It helps us celebrate following a solid performance on an exam, project, lab report or paper. But it is also there for us when we need to feel better following an equally poor performance. Alcohol lets you step outside your normal comfort zone in good ways. You may never bust out "Sweet Child O' Mine" at karaoke sober, but after a few gin and tonics you will be the reincarnation of Axl Rose himself. It might be embarrassing in the afterthought, but you had the time of your life when you took center stage.

Now, some of you may argue that coffee is the real gasoline of the college student, but let me explain why it is not. While it may give you energy in the morning or help you stay up that extra hour to study, coffee doesn't compare to all the bonuses of alcohol. When you finish up an exam or a rough week of schoolwork, you don't sit back with a hot cup of coffee to celebrate. No, you break out something special. And by special, I do not mean Keystone or Natty Light, and definitely not a hard alcohol that comes in a plastic bottle. I am talking like a decent six or 12 pack; I may go with Newcastle or a Sam Adams variety pack. If I'm looking to really celebrate, I'm going with Wild Turkey bourbon, because there is no way anything bad could possibly happen.

Some students may see a fun-filled alcohol weekend as motivation to get one's work done ahead of time. It may not be the best method, but let's face it, no student becomes motivated by thinking, "If I finish this research paper by Thursday afternoon I'm going to drink so much coffee this weekend!" And lastly, what do people put in coffee to make it even better? Bailey's Irish Cream. Enough said.

If you claim that energy drinks are the true gasoline of the college student, let me ask you a question: Have you ever heard of a Jagerbomb or a Red Bull and vodka? Vodka might be my least favorite of all hard alcohols, but it makes Red Bull that much better. Before I go on, I should probably explain why vodka is my least favorite alcohol. Other than a White Russian or a screwdriver, I do not think vodka has much to offer. It definitely doesn't make you any cooler like the other major hard alcohols.

For example, whiskey, while also a favorite drink of the Irish, is the true American drink. After a lot of whiskey, you will only lose arguments to people who have drunk more whiskey than you, and you will also believe that you are better than everyone else. Whiskey was the drink of the American cowboys and on top of that, bourbons, a type of whiskey, must be made in America and nowhere else. If you drink bourbon, you are directly contributing to the American economy. Gin was a common drink among old blues musicians, and there is arguably no one more badass then an old blues musician. Last, but certainly not least, rum makes you feel like a pirate.

Alcohol doesn't give humanity a bad name; rather, a select percentage of our population gives alcohol a bad name. People who drink irresponsibly take away from all the best parts of alcohol: the fun times and the memories it helps provide. It is no secret that college students drink, and it is actually pretty acceptable when done correctly.

If you need any more proof of why alcohol is the gasoline of the college student, think of this: How many times have you woken up, head pounding, mouth and throat dry, stomach hurting and you promise to never do that again? Yet the next night you are back at it because you remember you had the time of your life the night before.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

This alcohol survey seems... off

I was about to start working on one of my midterm essays I have due this week, but then new alcohol awareness survey in my UNH email got my attention. Some of the questions seemed, well like the person who made it had a few too many drinks while making it. Let's take a look.

The survey began with this note to the takers. Notice it says "1 oz of 100 proof alcohol." This seems a bit off because the average proof of hard liquor is 80, meaning it is 40% alcohol. Also, the a shot is actually 1.5 ounces. So either someone doesn't understand how proof or alcohol % works, or they expect me to do way too much math conversion.

And all this time I thought that there were only 7 days in a week. I guess I've always been to hungover to notice that day between Friday and Saturday, "Ican'tmathday."

Does a bear shit in the woods? No seriously does it? And yes, I do drink alcohol. Why else would I be taking this ridiculous survey? Clicking "'I do not socialize', 'party', or 'go out'" for every answer seems lame and boring. Who would do that to themselves?

If by "alcohol-free social events" you mean class... then yes. If not, what type of social events are alcohol free? My 5-year-old cousin's ballet recital? Because I pregamed for that too.

I always go with my favorite caffeinated alcoholic drink "Red Bull." I can't believe they still sell that shit at campus stores. I get so wasted pregaming off Red Bull, suckers!

The survey also asked students to rank how many times they had done certain things over the past year because of drinking, between 0 to more than 8 times, for things such as being hungover, memory loss, missing class etc. However, one of the questions really annoyed me. It asked "How many times have you gotten into a fight or argument because of your drinking?" I think that this is a ridiculous question because a simple argument and a fight are very different. One is my explaining why I'm always right, which happens frequently and the other is a violent, physical confrontation, which I have never done. That's right, I like to drink a lot and I've never been in an actual fight! Shocking, I know. But I feel like this question gives all of us debaters a bad name. A few whiskey drinks in me and I'll argue all night long about anything. It's fun. Violence and fighting are not fun. You don't get arrested for explaining to your roommate why the fact that there are polar bears on the tropical island in Lost doesn't make the show unwatchable. However, if I stabbed him, then yes, I would be arrested.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

How do UNH students tip downtown?

 Earlier today The Knot shared this link on Facebook about proper tipping. I found it pretty interesting and for the most part I agree with it. But it got me thinking, how do most UNH students tips at the bars on campus? When paying with cash, for the most part my friends and will leave an extra dollar per drink order, or sometimes depending on the type of drink or special. For example, if it's dollar drink night I'll order two wells and leave three dollars. Or two, two dollar drinks and I'll leave a 5. If I know it is going to be a long night, I may take a order off without tipping, but I'm always sure to let the bartender know I'll get them back on my next order. Usually when I do this I'll order a beer in a bottle or can. If it's a mixed drink or a beer on tap I'm always sure to leave something.

If I'm keeping a tab I usually use the old trick of doubling the sales tax or as the blogger pointed out, moving the decimal over and doubling. (Ex $25.00 becomes 2.50 x 2 = a $5 tip).

Anyways, I'd like to know the tipping habits of other UNH students when they go out downtown. I know some people tip differently during specials like beat the clock or dollar drink nights. Comment below or send me a tweet to let me know your tipping habits. If you're a lousy tipper you can always comment anonymously here.

Drunk Monkeys... remind me of my friends

Happy 1st Snow Day UNH! I hope you're all celebrating the same way as me, recovering from last night, doing absolutely nothing and preparing for round two tonight. It's not going to be UNH's Greatest Semester Ever without a little effort.

I'm not going to lie, despite it being a really crappy winter, I'm not going to complain about waking up to this sight this morning:

For the first time since Halloween, it finally feels like winter at UNH.

Although, I am patiently awaiting a Union Leader editorial bashing UNH for cancelling classes because all of our liberal professors' hybrids can't drive in snow.