How do UNH students tip downtown?

 Earlier today The Knot shared this link on Facebook about proper tipping. I found it pretty interesting and for the most part I agree with it. But it got me thinking, how do most UNH students tips at the bars on campus? When paying with cash, for the most part my friends and will leave an extra dollar per drink order, or sometimes depending on the type of drink or special. For example, if it's dollar drink night I'll order two wells and leave three dollars. Or two, two dollar drinks and I'll leave a 5. If I know it is going to be a long night, I may take a order off without tipping, but I'm always sure to let the bartender know I'll get them back on my next order. Usually when I do this I'll order a beer in a bottle or can. If it's a mixed drink or a beer on tap I'm always sure to leave something.

If I'm keeping a tab I usually use the old trick of doubling the sales tax or as the blogger pointed out, moving the decimal over and doubling. (Ex $25.00 becomes 2.50 x 2 = a $5 tip).

Anyways, I'd like to know the tipping habits of other UNH students when they go out downtown. I know some people tip differently during specials like beat the clock or dollar drink nights. Comment below or send me a tweet to let me know your tipping habits. If you're a lousy tipper you can always comment anonymously here.

Ballards being replaced by an Aroma Joes

 A Ballad for Ballard's...

ahem:

Ballard's you got me drunk

the news of your closing has me in a funk

you had plenty of really cheap beer

and when it got packed you could barely hear

Your patio made you unique

I often used your bathroom to take a leak

Ballard's, you will be greatly missed

 boy, am I really pissed

Discounted pitchers and beat the clock

this news came as quite a shock

At Ballard's I was often trashed

Let's have another night when we all get smashed!

The rumors started swirling this afternoon, but it looks like it is more than a rumor. Apparently Ballard's Restaurant, known for being the only place to drink outside downtown, is being replaced with an Aroma Joe's coffee shop. This is a very sad day for UNHers. Ballard's (formally the Tin Palace for all you oldies) definitely, without comparison, has the best beer selection of all the Durham bars. Sitting out on their patio on warm afternoons, evenings and nights was one of my favorite things about going out downtown. Factor that in with no more Ballard's Beat the Clock and the fact that the other bars just got that much more crowded makes this even worse.

I am not sure on the timetable with this, but hopefully they'll have a final closing bash or something. Ballard's will definitely be missed and UNH nightlife won't be the same without them.

No more Ballard's drinking game, no more patio nights and no more dollar drafts of the best beer selection in Durham.

New Hampshirite = devastated. Rest in peace Ballard's, rest in peace.

Update: Apparently there is a sign on the door that says they're closed the rest of the week for refurbishing and inventory. Sounds like it has already happened.

We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.

Well UNH, it looks as though we have quite the weekend ahead of us. We are in the prime of our life so I recommend getting your homework done early and to plan for the weekend wars.

Friday afternoon will probably rival 4/20 for students on this campus, due to the MGMT show that night. The audience will dance until the heart explodes and it’ll make the Field House ignite. Just don't get mad at the walls. It is going to be a warm and sunny day so hippies will be in full force playing frisbee on any piece of green grass they can find. Speaking of 4/20, I was very surprised to see that only three people showed up in the UNH police logs for possession of a controlled drug. I was expecting much higher figures. Let's face it, the youth is starting to change. Following that concert people will be swarming downtown for some food, because the munchies will be unbearable. I am not telling people to smoke, do what you feel now, control yourself and take only what you need. 

On Saturday there will be the inaugural May Day carnival in C-Lot. It is going to have everything from circus rides to games and food. Even Kurt will be there. Between that and it being my roommate's birthday, Saturday should prove to be a day-drinking-day. There's no secrets to decode, I really think that this May Day carnival could be a lot of fun and hopefully it will grow in the upcoming years.

Sunday there will be a campus wide "beer" pong tournament in the Field House. Check out the facebook event page if you are interested. Out of fairness to other students I will not be in attendance as to not ruin the event through total domination. It may feel like someone's missing, but I will be there in spirit.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Kurt of ‘Kurt’s Lunchbox’ Quitting the Food Business to join the Priesthood

After years spent perfecting the art of making ‘cheesy fries,’ Kurt has found a higher calling.
In a nationally televised press conference, Kurt [Last name withheld] announced his retirement from making food for those under the influence to devote his life to God and join the priesthood. The timing of his retirement has brought great confusion amongst most fans of his work since Kurt was considered to be in the prime of his career.

“It’s with a heavy heart that I am announcing my retirement to serve our Lord in the best way He sees fit,” said Kurt with his eyes welling up with tears. “I know that I will be missed around here, but I must do what is best for me and my relationship with God.”

After concluding his short speech, Kurt hugged long time employee, and friend Dane Diliegro and handed him the bell that adorned the window for so many cold Durham nights.

There is no information available concerning what sort of sign from God Kurt received that prompted him to leave his white truck behinds, but there is absolutely no truth to the rumor that a certain writer told him that his food could cure the blind.

The UNH Bucketlist

Fellow TNH columnist Corey Nachman and I teamed up for one super column this week. I hope you enjoy our collaboration.

Unless you’re either obsessed with emulating Van Wilder and have the funds to do so, your college experience is going to end after a fairly short amount of time. It should be in our minds at all times that we should be constantly participating in activities that will most assuredly be memorable so we can remember this place as fondly as possible.  This isn’t a typical bucket list. The following is a compilation of unique things every student should consider trying before graduating UNH to make your experience that much more memorable.

Camp Out in the Little Red Wagon: It doesn’t serve much of a purpose so why not spend a night camping out in it? A lot of people would think that College Woods would be the premier campout spot on campus, but think of the reactions you would get from people who spot your spending the night in the wagon.

Speaking of College Woods, a massive game of hide and seek in there is another item on the list. Just be careful not to get lost or you might end up unintentionally achieving another item; sit in College Woods until you have an epiphany. Who knows, maybe you will decide to change your major or add a minor. Just don’t eat any suspicious-looking berries.

Attempt different food challenges: Eating a Manley at Kurt’s is a good place to start and while you’re there, you should try to work with Kurt for a night. You are bound to hear some wild stories and see drunken students make fools of themselves. Then, of course, there is JP’s Slap Shot: 15 sliders, a large fry and a large shake. Finish it in 30 minutes and you will find yourself on the Wall of Fame… and about 15 pounds heavier. Next up we have D-Hop. Every student at UNH must complete the Grand Slam – attending D-Hop twice in one night on consecutive nights. You should throw in a trip to Wildcat Pizza too; a lot of people claim they have the better pizza even though D-Hop receives all the attention.

Bring and throw your own fish at a hockey game: After the first UNH goal is scored a fan throws a fish on the ice, but any true fan would bring a fish of their own. This should be applied to more campus activities, such as throwing a fish after the first UNH touchdown at a football game. Ace an exam? Throw a fish. Amaze people with your dancing skills at a party? Throw a fish. Show up to HoCo, throw a fish down on the stir-fry at and then demand them to cook it.

Complain about the lack of snow days: After the first snow dusting of the year join the Facebook group “UNH would rather see the streets of Durham littered with bodies of students than cancel classes.” Once the snow does accumulate, take a snow day (skipping classes will probably be necessary) to sled at both Wagon Hill in Dover and Library Hill on campus.

Get your party on: UNH has always been considered to be a “party school” so it doesn’t take long to realize that the Thirsty Thursday alliteration can be applied to Toasted Tuesday and Wasted Wednesday. I think you get the idea. While on the subject of parties, everyone should attend one frat party. This will help determine how full of crap Asher Roth is.

Join an organization and attend only one meeting: There are dozens of organizations on campus so you are bound to find one that will keep you interested for an hour on a random Tuesday evening. If you are feeling really active you should also start a protest. It doesn’t have to be anything huge, but there will be others who feel the same way.

Get thrown out of an event hosted by SCOPE or MUSO (Creativity counts, violence is the least creative thing ever): Do you have an insanely large and elaborate costume that you haven’t been able to use? Time to dust off that Howard-Taft-stuck-in-a-bathtub costume you once made to impress your old history major crush.

Write a message using SCANTRON bubbles: This is tough to pull off since it’s rare to take an exam that really doesn’t matter in the long run in determining a grade. If you are lucky enough to be given a meaningless test, why not try and write the recipe for alfredo sauce or directions to the nearest Arby’s.

Pretend to write a novel at Breaking New Grounds: Writing isn’t writing unless people in public know that you are, in fact, writing. Get your favorite scarf, order something complicated, and play the part of the best indie, post-modern writer that this town has ever seen. If people ask you what you’re writing, just scoff at them, and then go back to playing solitaire.

Participate in a campus wide capture the flag game or a snowball fight: These ideas have been attempted before, but when groups or even the university puts them on, they seem to fall flat. It’s probably because these activities aren’t wholly genuine. A real snowball fight or capture the flag game starts with a large group of people dedicated to the idea. A snowball fight could start with 20 or so people and just sort of, ahem, snowball from there. A capture the flag game would draw campus wide interest if each team had a shirt (failing that, a piece of paper affixed to a shirt) that said, “Hey, I’m playing capture the flag. Join us.” We think this would work better than expected by most.

 Tour The Red Hook Brewery/Visit the Portsmouth Brewery: The Red Hook tour is only a dollar, and the guy who runs the tour is this old dude who has been doing it since before all of us were born. He could do the thing blindfolded and is worth the price of admission alone. Provided that you are of age to consume a fermented beverage, free samples await you during and after the tour. The Portsmouth Brewery doesn’t offer the same thing, but it has (seriously) some of the best beers I have ever had. The Russian Imperial Stout tastes like amazing!

 Take Germs (MICR 407): If you have at least a pulse and an ability to show up to some classes, you’re almost assured an A. This class was designed for people who still think school should have pizza parties (and I do).

 Roll down every hill on campus: This is a bucket list idea strictly for me. You’re welcome to join, though. They are public hills.

 Prank your roommate: I don’t consider pelting your friends in the face with oranges as a prank, by the way. I categorize that under assault. Delicious, delicious assault.
Hang up a bizarre banner over the MUB Food Court: A sign that says “Lepers Anonymous Meetings” is sure to get some attention.

Get a shirt made at Town and Campus: You only need seven other friends and a shirt idea to do this. Well, you will also need money. Think of the possibilities here. You could create your own army. The Twilight fans on campus all ready did. They didn’t get sparkles on their shirts, though. What kind of Twilighters are they?

This campus provides a multitude of opportunities to do something fun, creative, and worth mentioning to people you meet down the road. Although, you may want to hold off on telling certain people that you threw a fish at the dance floor. That may be considered weird in some circles.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

President Huddleston on UNH in 2020

This the video of President Huddleston's speech on UNH's strategic plan for the future. It is kind of long, but it is pretty interesting if you want to learn about UNH's future plans.


UNH in 2020 from UNH Video on Vimeo.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Like a Pro: UNH Traditions

What is written beneath is the first edition of Like a Pro, my column in TNH. Enjoy, to celebrate I just did same investigative journalism oh, yes, I hope you enjoy that analogy. 

Have you ever wondered what types of traditions truly exist at UNH? During my time as a student in Durham I have really felt that UNH lacks time-honored traditions that are prevalent at hundreds of universities and colleges across the country. UNH doesn’t have huge bonfires at homecoming, we don’t have a naked mile, and we don’t have a cold-water swim or anything of that nature. I did some investigative journalism on the matter and by simply google searching “UNH traditions” I found exactly what I was looking for on the UNH admissions website.

 It says, “The University of New Hampshire has a rich history of time honored traditions dating all the way back to its founding in 1866.  From University Day to Homecoming, hockey games to undergraduate research, these traditions are a part of what makes UNH a unique, fun and exciting place to learn.” The site also specifically lists the fish toss after the first goal of a hockey game and family weekend as UNH traditions. Um, what? If you ask me the only true tradition listed is the hockey fish tossing, but that is extremely common among hockey teams. Another “tradition” is the “White Out the Whitt” hockey game against Maine, but most college crowds do that for every home game. Both the fish and whiteout game are awesome, but I don’t think hockey games have been the same since they got rid of “Black Betty.”

 I mean does the university truly think that undergraduate research is a tradition that makes “UNH a unique, fun and exciting place to learn?” The funny thing is that the admissions page was missing a few key traditions that no one on campus can deny, like being arrested for underage drinking. It has become so commonplace that you would think UNH is the filming location of Campus PD, which is my new favorite show. Watching it makes me feel better about myself. Other unwritten traditions include the hockey team having great season and then losing in the NCAA tournament and fans calling for Coach Umile to be fired.  Also, don’t forget how after the first snow, students always complain about how UNH never cancels classes.

 In all seriousness, traditions can help build the UNH community; there is even a student organization, CommUNHiversity, dedicated to “enhance the sense of community and school spirit on the UNH.”When they wanted to burn a wooden bear before the Maine hockey game, something that students were very excited for, the administration shut it down. Rumors have gone around saying burn-a-bear is supposed to happen at next year’s homecoming though, and hopefully that will evolve into an annual event. I feel the administration cares too much about our “prestige” or “appearance” to allow certain traditions to exist. Even Ivy League schools such as Dartmouth have huge bonfires. With proper planning and rules, safety should not be an issue surrounding bonfires at homecoming and other events.

I think that it is time for the students of UNH to grow together and start some traditions of our own. A lot of schools have annual events that take place during finals week in order to relieve students of the stress. Students have tried things like last year’s flash rave or a synchronized scream, but I think something bigger is a necessity. Many schools annually have a campus wide snowball fight the night of a big snowstorm. Another common college tradition is a coldwater dive or swim. A lot of events like these can also serve as awareness or fundraisers.

 I think that the ultimate UNH tradition would be some sort of race around the Durham 500. For those of you who don’t know, the Durham 500 is the one-way oval shaped stretch of Main Street, Madbury and Pettee Brook Road that passes through and around downtown. Think of it as a NASCAR track, with Store 24 in the infield. It wouldn’t have to be a race, it could simply be a jog, walk, or bike ride, or all of the above. Of course to make it better we would need to incorporate some sort of dress code. While a naked mile would probably be met with a harsh reaction from the administration and the Durham and UNH police departments, funny costumes, underwear or body paint could do the trick.

UNH is closing in on its 150th anniversary and I think it is time that we start some traditions for the next 150 years. Whether it is something started by CommUNHiversity, another student organization or just a few bored students, history can be made. I just hope it can be something new and original, I mean there is only one Durham 500 and I think that could be a great place to start. 

 Stay classy, not UMassy

The Book Buyin' Blues

I woke up this morning feeling good. I had a little fun last night and I was looking forward to my first classless Thursday of the semester. In the future I plan on spending some at Cannon Mountain to take advantage of their 2 for 1 lift tickets, but not today. I had some errands to take care of, like getting my books. I had originally planned to order all my books ahead of time on amazon or textbooks.com or that new site koofers, but I wasn't able to get book lists for any of my classes. No worries I thought, I'll order them as soon as I find out what I need. Well that day didn't come until yesterday (thanks professors) and not only that but I have assigned readings in three classes for Friday and Monday so there was no way I could order online. So I did what I had to and trekked over to the MUB store and DBE. I did my best to price check ahead of time but I still spent over $270, not cool for an unemployed college student. I know that really isn't too bad, I know kids who spend over $200 on just one book. And over $500 a semester. Damn! The problem I have is that out of the 6 books I needed, only one was used. The rest were brand-fucking-new. Why do professors feel the need to assign the latest edition every fucking semester? Then they always give us that "I picked this book because it is a little cheaper" bullshit.  Is there really a difference between the the 12th and 13th edition of The United States since 1945? It's a fucking modern history book! It's not like it's ancient history and there were new discoveries and it's not like the newer edition ends with Obama's first year or anything, it ends with Bush. Like, fuck, I could find everything in that book online. I think it is safe to say that I got the book buyin' blues. The only thing that can brighten my spirits is the fact that I got a flask just waiting to be opened up... It'll be 12 in about ten minutes... excellent.

Overall I am very excited for this semester, I'm finally taking some real challenging courses that I actually want to be in. Yesterday my history professor said that "wikipedia is garbage." I almost laughed out loud. Wikipedia is one of the best research tools if you are smart about using it. Almost every page on Wikipedia lists a bibliography, sources, related readings and external links at the bottom of the page which are great for further research. A lot of times the bibliography will include the ISBN numbers for each book. I have found those links more helpful than using JStore or one of the blackboard library databases. Using info off wikipedia can be risky (although it scored to be equally accurate as the Britannica encyclopedia in a blind study) but using wikipedia for sources is very helpful. Give it a shot on your next research assignment.

Quick side note, when did UNH start getting ESPN-U, channel 54? We definitely didn't get it last year because I remember not being able to watch the NCAA tournament hockey game verse BU that ESPN-U was broadcasting. Have we had it all year or is this new since break? Or am I just a moron?

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Mid Break Updates

So we are just about halfway through winter break and I have a feeling these next couple weeks are gonna drag on. I can't wait to get back to Durham and party! (Although I have a feeling Kesha will be so over played this semester I might have to seclude myself in my room.)  I figured I would link up a few Durham updates since I have nothing to do today... until Alabama shows Texas what's up. (I'm picking 'Bama 27-17). Anyways let's see what's been going on back at the old U.

• There was an arrest in the Halloween assault. Eric A. Hunt, 21, of Hudson gets my vote for prick of the semester. He was charged with second degree assault, and tampering with witnesses and informants. Hunt turned himself in after a tip pointed police in his direction.
• There was a drum circle at the campus ministry which has lead to an anthrax scare. Apparently spores from the animal skin drum were an inhaled by a young woman. 
• Jenn Wakefield, a standout on the women's hockey team, is planning to transfer to BU. Wakefield took this season off to play with the Canadian National team... Really, BU? At least it's not Maine or UMass, but still...
• UNH was ranked 83rd in the top 100 most affordable public colleges by Kiplinger's Finance Magazine. I'm not sure if that is good or bad, but I still say tuition is way too high. I mean I would love to get an internship this summer, but I might have to take a job to make more money.

OK, that's all I could find by searching "UNH" in google news. I have been thinking about possibly expanding the blog by adding a couple more writers. I haven't made up my mind yet, but I think it would help broaden the possibilities for the blog. I want this blog to be less about me and more about the campus. Let me know if you think I should keep running it by myself  (which I don't mind) or if I should look into recruiting 2 or 3 more writers. I would still run everything, they would be strictly writers. Another possibility would be adding some guest posts once and a while.

**If you are interested (current students only) in contributing please email me at unhblog@yahoo.com. Even if you just want to write once a week, reviews, UNH sports updates, campus happenings, photo of the week or whatever. Email me if you are interested or have any ideas or questions. I really want to expand and make this blog more appealing to the entire campus.**

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Back To School

It’s that time of year again. Fall classes are starting up and soon the new semester will be in full swing. I don’t know about you but I have been anxiously waiting to get out of my house and back to campus. What can I say, I like my freedom here. These past few weeks have been pretty interesting from partying it up in Bar Harbor to picking out nice new Nikes while back to school shopping. I have even been getting some interesting emails about the blog with has gotten me very excited because it shows that people actually read this and that I’m not completely insane. I got one email asking me to give some free advertising for a local company. I was unsure at first but after checking out there product and learning that some employees attend UNH I decided to go along with it.

To the people at Slouchback here is your shout out. Their products are designed for dorm rooms and one is basically an inflatable top half of a couch that you can put on your doom room bed to make it double as a couch. I thought it is a pretty cool idea.

I have also gathered some tips, through my own knowledge and some helpful emails. When buying textbooks be sure to check out textbooks.com or amazon.com before venturing to the MUB or to the DBE, you can usually find books for much cheaper prices online.

I know I wrote about this before but studentoffortune.com can be an easy way to make a few bucks or gain some important knowledge for school. Check out my feature article about them if you missed it here.

I also have some news about the blog in general. Thanks to my 12-year-old cousin and his knowledge of technology I have learned how to Bluetooth pictures from my phone to my laptop and I’m hoping that this ability will lead to many funny pictures of our beloved campus throughout the year. This could help me with my “picture of the day/week” posts, which I stopped after only 2 entries when first starting the blog.

After reviewing the current tally in the latest poll it appears that many of you wish me to drink a lot and post. And if that’s what you want then my liver will have to take one for the team. I also have a small project in the works that I never got around to last year that I’m hoping to finish sometime in the near or distant future. It also looks as if you want me to write more advice and opinion pieces and seeing as this is a blog that is already what I do during the year so keep coming back because I try to post daily (at least 5 times a week) during the semester.

Getcha popcorn ready because this is a new year at the University of Nonsensical Happenings. This years first song of the day is "Lawyers, Guns and Money" by one of my all-time favorite musicians Warren Zevon.

Stay classy, not UMassy.