Princeton Review and my $150 Dream

So, I was going to post about the latest Princeton Review rankings, but the TNH blog beat me to it. Here is the quick synopsis:

UNH Ranked:
#3 in "Lots of beer."
#3 in "Little race/class interaction."
#4 in "Town grown relations are strained."
#17 in "Professors get low marks."

Once again UNH was left off the "Top Party School" list, which makes sense. The recent restrictions on fraternities at UNH have eliminated open parties and the frat scene makes up a big portion of the "ideal party school." Many landlords around Durham have tightened up as well in recent years, handing out penalties on party hosts. UNH last appeared on that list as the #11 school in 2008. I know that I have fun when I go out at night, and that is all the really matters. We don't need outsiders ranking our parties, because we know that they are awesome and plentiful. It might not be what it once was, (if it really was that great) but it is still decent for a school our size. Also, UNH only has a handful of bars in walking distance, compared to the dozens at most larger schools. There isn't really anyway to judge how one school has better parties, and honestly I don't think it matters. Plus, we got lots of beer. That should be one of our tag lines.

UNH: We got lots of beer.

Anyways, now addressing the second part of the title of this blog post. Last night/this morning I had a $150 dream. Let me clarify. I had a dream that literally cost me about $150. I dreamed that I was at a Dallas Cowboys football game with one of my older brothers, random I know- don't worry it gets weirder. We were seated about 30 rows up at the 50 yard line. A few rows ahead of us were comedians Jim Gaffigan and Kyle Cease. Kyle Cease had a Cowboys jersey with his name on the back. On the sideline were extremely scantily clad cheerleaders. Like more scantily cladded than usual. I was chewing on some type of hard candy, which is weird because I am not a big candy eater, especially hard candy. I usually keep it simple with a Hershey Bar or M&Ms. Anyways, I'm chewing away and I feel and hear a loud "snap." The next thing I know it that I'm back in my room. Awake. And I am chomping  down on my bottom retainer, and it is in 3 pieces. Completely demolished. A replacement retainer is about $150. Fuck that. This is my conclusion: My orthodontist hired Gaffigan, Cease and the mostly naked cheerleaders Inception style to distract me and influence me in ordering hard candy.

Stay classy, not UMassy.