So close...

I almost had to break out the riot punch tonight as the UNH men's basketball team nearly pulled off the upset down at UConn. UNH led by one at the half and it took 30 points from UConn standout Kemba Walker to top UNH. Ferg Myrick and James Valladares turned in very solid games for UNH, who will be without their leading returning scorer Alvin Abreu for the rest of the season. Abreu suffered a season-ending knee injury earlier this year. UConn went to the free-throw line 26 times compared to only 6 trips for UNH. I hate to sound biased but a few second half calls definitely went the home team's way. Either way, it was a great game and an unbelievable effort from the Wildcats. I know it got me excited for America East play and now you know why I included men's basketball in the new poll. This year's team is for real and the rest of America East better watch out!

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Registration Time

It is that time of year again to register for the next semester's classes. Some of us have already had the chance to register; some of you are going through the process, while sophomores and freshman still have a few days to go. I can honestly say this is my least favorite time of the year. Not only is it the final push of exams and papers before finals, but we also get to schedule appointments with our advisors and worry whether you can get into a class you desperately need. Every semester when I get the email reminder about registration I can't help but think of one of the nurses from "One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest" calling out "Medication time." Picking classes and meeting with advisors truly can be a mind numbing process. Thank God for open advising sessions and nice department administrators, because I've only met with my assigned advisor twice. Something about our first meeting gave me a bad impression of her. Maybe it was her saying that "she hates being an advisor and it is a waste of her time." Yeah, that might have been it.

I am a history major, which is a pretty straightforward process. Take this class as a sophomore, take that class as a senior, pick a concentration and take a class in each of these other categories for a total of 10 classes. This is a pretty similar format for most majors, but it made me realize something. To graduate from UNH in four years you need to take four classes a semester that equals 32 classes in those four years. The disturbing part is that only four of those 10 classes can actually be in my concentration without taking extra classes. That means only FOUR out of the 32 classes I take at UNH will be in my desired field of study. I have already taken all four of those and I can honestly say I am nowhere close to being an expert in modern United States history. I have done well and know more about American history than the average student, but this makes me think: What have I (read: mostly my parents) actually been paying for?

I point my finger at the general education system, which might be the biggest waste of time and money for a college student who knows what he or she wants to do from day one. I can only take four classes in my concentration, but I have to take three sciences. Does that really make sense? Especially when those sciences are classes like Germs 101, Making Babies, NR 435 or other classes that might be interesting, but you can get an "A" without opening a book. Some general education classes can be tough, but in no way do they actually apply to anything I am slightly interested in. I tried taking some classes that can be related to my field like political science, psychology and environmental history, but in the long run general education courses have been very disappointing.

I have taken all of the general education courses I need to graduate; I'm not sure if a single one of them has made me a more intelligent and well-rounded human being. Sure I know arbitrary facts on random topics, but I can get that off Snapple caps or Wikipedia. The new Discovery Program that was initiated for this year's freshmen sought to revamp the general education system, but I really don't see too much of a difference. The whole idea of general education requirements is to encourage students to have a broader field of study while in college, but doesn't that backfire when students just take the easiest classes available? How many students will take general chemistry if there is another class called "Making Babies?"

General education courses are just an excuse for a university, which really is just a giant business, to make more money. If we are forced to take these classes, then we need to pay more to take other classes in our field over the summer, or J-term or as a graduate student. Every semester there are dozens of classes I really want to take within my major, classes I'm truly interested in and would enjoy doing the work for (how appalling that would be!), but instead I'm stuck in a random general education course that I don't give a shit about. That is not fair, and that is not right.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Guess the Situation

It has been a week since I last posted so let's start this off with a little fun. That means it is time for a rousing game of "Guess the Situation." I give you a quote out of context and you guess the situation that quote is describing. Today's quote was provided by a roommate while enjoying dinner at Stillings.

Quote:  "I just wanted it to drip around her mouth a little, but it went all over her face."

Now guess the situation! Was it:

A) A practical joke gone wrong.
B) A sexual encounter.
C) His famous last words.
D) A quote from Superbad.
E) All of the above.

If you guessed "B) A sexual encounter" you are completely wrong. The correct answer was "A) A practical joke gone wrong." He went for the old tap the bottom of the glass of water while the person is drinking trick and it back fired. Needless to say, while describing the situation he made one of the most hilarious sexual innuendoes I've ever heard.

Anyways, I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving break. I know it was the first break I've had at UNH where I truly looked forward to having a few days off at home. I mean, I love being home with my family, but college isn't to shabby either. Luckily I got all my first choices for classes next semester so it should be a lot lighter with the amount of work.

Just a heads up, posting might be light for the rest of the semester. I think it's understandable, I have a couple research presentations and final projects to take care of along with finals. I'm not complaining, but I need to make priorities at this time of the year. I'll still try and post everyday during the week, but they'll be pretty brief for the most part.

Also, vote in the new poll!

Stay classy, not UMassy.

The results are in...

For the past month I have had a poll up on the blog to see what genre UNH students would most like to see SCOPE get in the spring. Well, the results are in so let's take a moment to check them out.

Genre           Votes
Hip-Hop:        95
R&B:              6
Rock:             51
Alternative:     30
Country:         40
Other:            15

Total Votes:  237

Look, I even made a pie chart because I can...




As we can see there is a strong push for a Hip-Hop act at UNH, which I actually thought would have had a higher percentage. Overall I am happy about the results, because it shows that while Hip-Hop is the favorite, not everyone wants that like commenters say on SCOPE's facebook. It also proves all the kids wrong who claim "no one likes country" or "no one likes rock." (Still, roughly 40% is pretty high considering how many options there were, almost doubling the next highest option). Rock came in second (and got my vote!) with 22%, which wasn't too far ahead of country with 17%. I actually wouldn't mind a country show along the lines of Americana/Folk rock like Old Crow Medicine Show (great live show), but I can't stand the stereotypical redneck country most people think of. (They took 'er jerbs!)  I was surprised to see 15 votes in the "other" category. I felt I hit the major ones, so those I'm guessing those are things like electronic and punk or smaller sub-genres.

Well SCOPE, you asked for my thoughts a while back, I left it open for students to vote and now it is up to you to book a show. The majority wants hip-hop and if that is the case Kid Cudi or Wale would get my vote. I'm interested to see what happens. If you have two shows left in you, in order to please the most students I'd say one should be hip-hop with the other being a rock/country full band type of thing. Something UNH hasn't really had for a while.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

UNH Blog: The Voice of America

I'm posting twice a Saturday in which I already know I have started too early... Anyways, I came across this and I had to share it as soon as I could:

From: The Voice of America Student Union Blog which is a blog from VOA News.

"Drinking can be a big part of the social life at a U.S. university, particularly for undergraduate students. The University of Nonsensical Happenings, a humorous blog by students at the University of New Hampshire, is a useful read for those interested in seeing how American undergraduate students view alcohol and partying (caution: some posts contain strong language).

Two posts in particular worth looking at are this one mocking a health services announcement on the dangers of alcohol, and this one on the funniest places to wake up after passing out on campus."

That's one of the best link-ups, if not the best we've ever gotten. Not only are we "humorous," but we are also "a useful read for those interested in seeing how American undergraduate students view alcohol and partying."

Best quotes to describe this blog ever... and it's posts like this when I think of my dad telling me I could write stuff where I want my real name to be seen... Yay college.

I also now claim us the official "Voice of American College Students."

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Wildcats tame Terriors

BU coach Jack Parker said it best last night, "that was most lopsided 5-2 game ever... [UNH] looked like men playing with boys." BU scored a quick goal on their first shot of the night, but after that it was all UNH, as the Wildcats unleashed a good ol' ass-whooping. UNH pelted BU goalie Kieran Millan with 49 shots and outplayed BU in ever aspect of the game.

As a UNH student who has attended close to 50 in my life, and probably 40 of those in the last 2+ years, that might have been the loudest and best crowd I've ever been apart of. The only other game that sticks in my mind was a 4-1 win over Maine two years ago. The crowd was unrelenting last night, harassing Millan and continuously make noise. After UNH's first goal, members of the student section actually knocked in a piece of glass behind the net. The student section over flowed into the far end of the ice, something I've never seen before and it created a super loud atmosphere. The final minute of the game was a continuous standing ovation from the entire crowd as UNH beat the last unbeaten team in the country. Early in the game NESN commenters said that UNH has one of the best home crowds in the country, saying that we were loud and ready to go. Enough about the crowd though...

Paul Thompson scored two goals and assisted on another and Phil DeSimone had one goal and two assists for the top line. Nick Sorkin, a freshman with huge upside, scored the fist goal of his career and sophomore John Henrion continued his hot start with a nice goal, which gave UNH a 2-1 lead.

UNH now holds the longest unbeaten streak in the country and hopefully they will carry that momentum into tonight's game at BU and it will truly "suck to B-U." The way this team is scoring across the board and playing defense, they will be a team to watch out for late in the season.

Non hockey notes:
-UNH football kicks off their last game of the season in roughly 35 minutes. I'm heading over as soon as I finish this.
-Men's and Women's basketball both have home games today at 4 (women's) and 7 (men's). Check them out if you have a chance,
-Last night at a party I heard someone I don't know tell their friend to "Stay classy, not UMassy." One of the proudest moments of my life.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

PS: Scott Hason is the worst official in Hockey East. BU's coach called it a well refereed game, but in all honesty it wasn't. Hanson made a few bizarre calls including a few interference calls against UNH that clearly were clean plays. (One game BU a 5-on-3 and their second goal.) If I accomplish one thing by the time I get a UNH degree, I hope it is that Scott Hanson is fired. He can't make it through a game without a few head-scratching calls.

Share your thoughts...

My roommates are going to murder me. We all get along really well, but sooner or later they need to realize that whenever they do dumb shit, it's going to end up here. Take last night for example: I bet my roommate four weekends worth of alcohol that he couldn't fit an entire slice of pizza in his mouth. Not only did he try it (which was the point of the bet) but he failed. That is a double win for me. I guess I am just really persuasive, I mean that alone should get me an "A" in my persuasive writing class.

Here is another little story from last night involving UNH police. So, two of my roommates have just got back from a beer run around 9:30 or 10. As they are walking through the Gables parking lot with a couple 30s and boxed wine (classy... for the ladies...) a cop pulls up next to them and rolls down his window. He says "Doesn't seem that much is going on tonight, where are you guys headed?" One roommate replies "Just back to our apartment." Officer Friendly says "You guys drinking that all tonight?" Roommate: "Haha, no this is for the weekend... and next weekend." Cop: "That's gonna last you guys two weekends?" As if he was calling them out for not drinking enough. So no, it is definitely not going to last two weekends, I would be surprised if it lasts tonight.

What do you guys think: Was he just being friendly and making conversation? Or was he trying actually to see if they were providing for a party or something? The way he joked about it lasting two weekends almost seems as though he was just having fun with them, but at the same time the way he asked where they were going seemed like he was trying to pick up on something.

Have a good weekend. If you're not going to the hockey game tonight, you can catch it on NESN. Also, tomorrow is the last home football game of the year and if UNH wins they will basically clinch a playoff spot. Be there or be square.

Lastly, I reinstalled the "like" option after posts. It was lost after I reformatted the blog at the end of the summer and I completely forgot about putting it back until now. So if you like what we're doing, let us know! I always look for feedback heading into breaks when I have time to tinker around, so let us know what you like, don't like and we'll see what we can do.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Huddle-Tweets: That's Marvelous

Recently UNH President Mark Huddleston has stepped up his Tweeting game in big ways. But yesterday afternoon he outdid himself. Apparently President Huddleston is either looking to be hired by TMZ or he is just a really good paparazzo and we never knew it. Check out his latest gem:

via @MarkHuddleston: On the Acela from NY: sitting across from Philip Seymour Hoffman #TwitPic

With the following photo linked:

If you don't know who Philip Seymour Hoffman is, he played one of my all-time favorite small roles as "Brandt" in "The Big Lebowski." His line "That's Marvelous" in the following scene gets me every time:

Not all of Hoffman's roles are so comedic, for example he also won an Oscar for "Best Actor" for his role in the 2006 movie "Capote." He has appeared or starred in other great films such as "Punch-Drunk Love," "Magnolia," "Charlie Wilson's War," "Doubt," "Synecdoche, New York," and "Almost Famous" among many others. And who could forget his role as the always entertaining "Dusty" in the action film "Twister." He's no lightweight when it comes to acting and he is one of my all-time favorites. 

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Make Your Own Four Loko!

By: Lady Meow

Not sure how well this turns out, but since every state is cracking down, it might be worth a shot, right?

Taken from buzzfeed.com

These videos suck, maybe this should be for entertainment purposes only...

If anyone cares to try, let us know how it works out.

Breaking News: I side with Dining and UNH Police in one post!

I just wanted to post a quick reaction to the front page story in today's TNH. It discussed how arrests are down on campus, but petty crimes are way higher than usual. TNH also featured an editorial on the subject. The main two areas of concern are Wildcatessen and Dimond Library. Wildcatessen has experienced a large amount of thefts this year. Dining had even threatened to close the sub shop and convenience store for it's late night hours. That would be a major inconvenience. They claim that they are losing money, but closing during those busy late night hours would probably cost them even more of their profit. Making students pay before receiving their subs was very smart, but here is another simple conclusion. Make students leave their backpacks at the door. That is how people steal from Wildcatessen. They slip items into their friends backpack when no one is looking. Make them keep their bags at the doors and the problem is solved. UNH would not be the same without late-night Wildcatessen. TNH was also right with their editorial by students need to mature, because if they don't (cough freshman cough) they are going to blow it for the rest of us. If you can't afford to pay for your $5 sub or even less for a bag of chips, then get a fucking job. Those small things add up and I don't need dining to raise their prices even higher. That is right, this is how bad this is, I am taking dining's side!

The article also talked about homeless people sleeping in Dimond Library. Seeing as it is No-Shave November it could just be exhausted students passing out from cramming, but I highly doubt that. We shouldn't need to have police patrolling our library or watching the door at Wildcatessen, they should be out keeping students safe. Not watching for idiots slipping some candy bars or something into their friend's backpacks.

Lastly, the new Girl Talk album is amazing. So good in fact, I might have to host a party called "The Unstoppable Feeding of the Animals All Day and All Night Ripper." Right now "Unstoppable" is still up for debate, but at the very least it will be "The Feed the Animals All Day and All Night Ripper." The first song features "War Pigs," by Black Sabbath, something he did when SCOPE brought him last year. So much props goes out to MUSO and SCOPE both bringing him in recent years. This album is probably his best yet. Lets face it, if you make a mash-up album starting with "War Pigs" and ending with John Lennon's "Imagine" you're not fucking around.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Where am I?

I want to start this off by saying this column is not meant to be a list of things to do, but purely for entertainment purposes. Enjoy. College students drink a lot and drunken people tend to do silly things. Sometimes those silly things include waking up in strange places. So that got me to think: Where is the scariest or funniest place to wakeup on campus after a night of drinking? All it would take are a couple of Four Lokos to get the real first-hand experience, but for my own personal safety I have decided that using my imagination would be the better option.

Now, my own apartment has witnessed a few of the more common entertaining wake-ups, such as the shower or bathroom, under the kitchen table and in a kitchen cabinet. But anyone can wake up in his or her own apartment; it takes a real trooper to really explore this campus. There are so many possibilities out there from College Woods to the ally behind D-Hop and everywhere in between. Lets take a look at a few of those places.

My personal top pick for the greatest wakeup would be the clock tower on Thompson Hall. I really do not see how that could be beat. I have never been in Thompson Hall, so I do not know how accessible it is, but I am sure it can't be too difficult. Plus, the early morning hourly bell would be like a built in snooze button so you don't have to worry about being late for the next day's activities.

Every time I walk by Hamilton-Smith I notice at how the roof looks like it has a giant porch or deck on top of it. It reminds me of the old houses around Portsmouth that have roof decks that look out to sea. I think that could be an entertaining place to wakeup, or even throw a little party if it is indeed like a roof deck. The roof decks on the fourth floor of Williamson and Christensen would be a great place as well. They have been closed off for a few years now, and trust me the old credit card trick doesn't work on those doors.

Any of the lecture halls would provide great sleeping accommodations. I mean, dozens of students sleep in them during the week anyways. In order to maximize the embarrassment factor, waking up on a Monday morning to an entering 8 a.m. class would probably do the trick. DeMeritt 112 has some really comfortable chairs, as do the MUB theatres and the newly renovated Horton 210.

For decades there have been rumors of secret underground tunnels around the UNH campus, particularity in the old center of campus around Spaulding, Conant, Murkland and DeMeritt. Other rumors say that tunnels run under the sidewalk on Main Street. Some say they are old government laboratories, others say they are connected to the river that runs under Spaulding, but no one is really sure of their existence. Awaking in one of these alleged secret tunnels would make you a true UNH Legend. My roommates and I are planning on investigating this matter further.

Here is a real scary one. How about waking up on President Huddleston's front porch? He already follows me on Twitter so it should not be too unexpected, but something tells me that it would be worse than when the dead fish is left there after the hockey team gets shutout at the Whittemore Center. I know that is true because last year President Huddleston TwitPic'ed a thawed out herring.

I think we should close this out with a few less serious ones. The Little Red Wagon between Spaulding and PCAC looks like it would make for a comfortable place to sleep. Plus, at the same time you would be able to cross it off the UNH Bucket list I helped write last year. Finally, one of the greenhouses out towards Thompson Farm would probably make for a more peaceful wakeup, but you may mistake it for a jungle and that would be confusing.

One final note, I really hope I don't see a bunch of arrests in the next police log relating to this post. College can get hectic and stressful at times, especially in the last few weeks before finals, so hopefully this gave you a few laughs and not a few ideas.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Weekend Happenings

Another eventful weekend has past and another week of school work is upon us. I have officially fallen into drone mode. Everything just  becomes apart of the daily routine. But lets get back to the weekend.

We had two men's hockey games. I must say I've been impressed by the teams play. I would have liked to see them win that second game, but it was a solid tie considering they responded so quickly and killed a lengthy 5 on 3 in overtime. It was nice to see the top line scoring and DiGi continued to play well in the net. He made one of the best saves I've seen during the second period of the first game. When Kessel tied up the second game with 40 seconds left I fucking lost it. Not sure if I've ever screamed so loud in my life.

My roommates and I also ended up throwing a little shindig, during which I sneakily mixed in "Wagon Wheel" and it turned into a giant singalong. I'm talking a giant circle of epic-sauce. Yes, I just said "epic-sauce." Don't worry, I just punched myself in the face for you.

The other weekend night I made it over to one of UNH's fine fraternal organizations for the first time this year. I definitely had more fun than I expected, lets face it anyone who has ever been to a frat party knows they are hit or miss. It was fun and nice to check them out every once and a while... plus it helps when you're good friends with a few brothers.

Then things got weird...

After the party I was walking through A-Lot. It was a little after 2 in the morning. There are a group of 5 guys maybe 20 yards ahead of me walking in the same direction I am. Walking towards them, and me, are two girls. As the two groups are about to pass each other, the guys spread out and two of the guys go on both sides of the girls and one guy walks between them. I can hear them exchanging words, but I can't hear what they are actually saying. I could definitely tell the girls sounded uncomfortable so I quickened my pace, but as I just about caught up, the two groups continued in different directions. I kind of kept an eye out for them and made sure everything was cool. I have never been so close to thinking I might have to call the cops or thinking that I might have to get physical or something. I seriously thought I was about to witness something bad and luckily it didn't come to that. It was just a really weird moment and it really pissed me off about how sketchy those guys were. Like it's 2 a.m. in the middle of a giant parking lot, those girls are gonna be nervous anyways, just fucking leave them alone. I don't know, maybe I missed something, but it just seemed really weird and sketchy to me.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Health Services reminds us of the perils of alcohol

Remember kids, if you're not 21, then low risk drinking is not drinking at all! If you are 21, be sure to only have one drink an hour or you might get drunk! How appalling! 

Someone get me a Four Loko, shit is going down!

As a side note, President Huddleston now follows me on twitter... so drunk tweeting is going to be even more hilarious now.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Running Journal: Apartment Clean

Background info: My roommates and I had a few people over last night... According to my memory the last person left around 2:30 or 3 a.m... Then she returned at 4 with a copy of Role Models and Dominoes, angry that none of us went with her. If that doesn't confuse you, it should.  Anyways, you get the idea. A small social gathering, a late night and lots of alcohol... and once again I was complimented on my DJing skills... let's just say there was an epic sing-a-long to Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" that came out of nowhere.

Since I can't divulge any more details of the night, this is a running journal of me cleaning my apartment this morning:

-Woke up around 10:30. Too hungry to fall back asleep. (After about 5 hours of sleep.)
-Living area has that unique smell of beer, Jack Daniel's and pizza.
-Dominoes girl had also just woke up after sleeping on couch.
-The Role Models menu screen is up and volume is blasting. She says it was looping all night.
-I start putting dishes in sink, trash, recycling all that stuff...
-Discover unopened sugar-free Red Bull someone left... I'm gonna make it through the day... or at least until 2 p.m.
-Pour out Beirut cups, bunch of random stuff like coins, playing cards, bottle caps in a few.
-Find 3 slices of dominoes on coffee table. Put in fridge for later.
-Find half-eaten slice of pizza in toaster oven.
-Half popped bag of popcorn in microwave
-Half-eaten ramen on counter.
-Check couches. No sofa pizza, but find a lot of pens, popcorn and a snickers bar.
-Discover dishes in dishwasher are clean. Someone ran it last night. Awesome.
-Empty dishwasher and basically refill it.
-Made a trip to HoCo- they should have known better and had a late breakfast like on the weekends. Also, when the entire bottom level is full, they should really open up the upstairs. Just my opinion though.

That is the most activity I plan on doing for the day.

Lastly, I'm not gonna lie, this song is my new jam:

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Get to Know UNH

Since there is currently nothing for me to overreact and become outraged about at UNH, I wanted to have a little fun this week. Over the past two months I have noticed that a lot of my fellow students don't know some basic things about UNH and college life in general. With that being said, I give you "The New Hampshirite's 10 things you should know about UNH." A few of them are an addition to my previous unwritten rules of UNH, while others are simply tips or guides to succeeding at UNH.

The first thing that you need to know about UNH, or really any college, is that the "Elbow Rule" always applies. I am, of course, referring to Beirut. Everyone has different house rules, but the elbow rule, meaning your elbow cannot cross the table during your shot, is universal. Repeat offenders may be subject to a Walter Sobchack "over the line!" style berating.

While on the topic of parties, it is also essential for male students to realize that when a girl at a party asks to see the Magna Carta poster in your room, she really doesn't want to see the Magna Carta you have in your room. Lets just say one of my roommates didn't pick up on that context clue, so as his friend it is my duty to remind him about that in the school paper.

If you are invited to a party and the host says that you can "invite a few friends," that does not mean to bring all of Williamson with you. When a host says a "few friends," he clearly means to bring like three or four members of the opposite gender. I'm sorry, that is just how it is.

Another thing you need to know about UNH is that wearing intramural champion T-shirts makes you either the coolest or lamest person in the room. Lets face it, not everyone thinks that winning the inner tube basketball tournament is T-shirt worthy. In my opinion it is, and winning an intramural sport is still on my personal UNH bucket list. However, wearing those shirts is like making a "ten points for Gryffindor" reference. People who like Harry Potter think you are awesome, but everyone else thinks you're a weirdo.

By the way, no one cares about how much homework, reading or studying you have. This is college. If you spent more time doing your work and less time complaining about it, you'd probably be done by now. We all have more free time then we know what to do with, hence the consistent binge drinking.

Since I am a nice guy, this one is for your own personal safety. Never cut in line at DHop, because it will more than likely end up in a physical confrontation. Late at night people at DHop are drunk and hungry. They just want their pizza and anyone delaying that process is going to hear about it.

I just have to say that Stillings is by far the best dining hall on campus. I always hear the debate over Holloway and Philbrook, but those people have obviously never been to Stillings. Sure, they have crappy hours, but their food is top notch, always fresh and they always have your four basic college food groups: chicken patties, burgers, French fries and quesadillas. If only they could serve beer…

The next thing mostly applies to those who live in the dorms and UNH apartments. Get to know and respect your RAs or CAs. Sure, some of them can be a hassle, but many will be easy on you if you respect them. The worst thing you can do is talk yourself into trouble if they were just giving you a warning. This is very similar with UNH police. There are always a few who are power hungry, but showing respect and courtesy will always benefit you.

If you need to take your laptop to tech support don't worry, they already know it is slow for unholy reasons. That is why you should be smart and get a Mac like me. Apple just gave me a free iPad to say that. Okay, maybe not.

Lastly, Iddles is the part of Parsons Hall where the auditoriums are. Stop asking. I know it is not on the campus map given out to freshman, but it shouldn't be that hard to figure out.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Today's Outrage: Daylight Savings

I am in the middle of writing four papers in three days so I'm going to keep this short.

I officially hate the end of Daylight Savings Time. Getting out of class at 5:30 and it being dark out is just depressing. But the fact that Conan O'Brien makes his glorious return tonight is worth it. I have been looking forward to this day since Neil Young played him out with "Long May You Run" on his final show. (Okay so technically Will Ferrell led a jam of "Free Bird" after Neil Young, but you don't forget a Neil Young performance.) Oh, and the best part about the premier of Conan tonight? Jack White is the musical guest. Yes please and thank you.

Anyways, that was quite the interesting weekend. The hockey team picked up four huge points, including a win at BC. This team is looking like they are going to be a tough match for anyone (Won at Miami-Ohio, tied Michigan, won at Cornell, won at BC). Those are all high quality wins/tie that are only going to help their Pairwise Ranking at the end of the season.

While the hockey team was on the road for both games, things back in Durham were pretty fun. It was a typical weekend here at Headquarters, meaning I played loud music and drank a lot of beer and Jack Daniel's... ah, already looking forward to having Thursday off. Here's a little themed #musicmonday for any of you twitterers.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Friday Plugs

Here are some things I feel like plugging that you should check out if you don't have any big weekend plans.

First of all, the #19 in the nation Field Hockey team hosts Maine at 3 p.m. today on Memorial Field (turf in front of the Whitt). It is a semi-final game in the America East Tournament, and I'm sure the team would appreciate a few students in the crowd. They are a Division 1 college sport, and although it may not be as exciting as football, basketball or ice hockey, they have put in a lot of hard work, training and practice to get where they are today. (It's in a half hour, but you can still catch the second half!... if they have a half, I know nothing about field hockey...) At the very least if they win today you should all show up for the championship game on Saturday...

Tonight at 8 p.m. in the MUB entertainment center (basement where the Improv shows are) there is a free concert and the artist is a friend of one of my best friends. (Anyone who reads the comment section would know him as The Maine Guy). Anyways, if you don't have plans and are looking for something to do you should check it out. I mean it's a free show, so why not? His name is Keelan Donovan and you can check out his band's facebook page here.

The biggest UNH sporting event for the weekend is definitely the football game on Saturday at noon. #8 UNH hosts #4 William and Mary, who have been a thorn in the 'Cats side for the past few seasons, beating UNH in their last 7 match-ups. It should be a great game and should UNH win, they will definitely move up in the national standings. Hopefully the student section will be out in full force, because quite honestly the football student section has been terrible this year. So make yourself an Irish coffee or two, get there and be loud! Last year W&M won on a late field goal, and this year's game has the potential to be one of the best of the year.

Alright, I'll admit this was a lazy post, but it is a Friday and I just want to relax.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

A PSA from UNH Blog

It seems as though every day for the last two weeks I have heard about college campuses sending out warnings or even banning Four Loko. Every morning I expect an email from UNH about it, even though you can't buy them in New Hampshire. UNH may very well be the only school in the country not yet to ban it. For those of you who live underneath a rock, Four Loko is an alcoholic energy drink and just one sip will kill you... or at least that is what colleges seem to think.

The reason they are so "dangerous" is because they come in 24 ounce cans (Arizona Ice Tea size), and one is approximately the equivalent of drinking something like 5 coffees and 6 light beers. They come in various flavors, are 12% alcohol and illegal to sell in New Hampshire. Now, I have never had a Four Loko, but last weekend I had the pleasure of trying a Tilt, which is basically the same thing. (And to my knowledge, not technically on the market right now).

I will now tell you why they are so dangerous: because it was fucking delicious. It tasted like grape soda and it will get you going. It is basically like having a giant vodka and RedBull. Seriously, after a few sips I was ready to rock. Keep in mind I had already had a few drinks, but I could definitely tell what they have the potential to do. I am not a huge energy drink person. I will have a morning coffee, but that is about the limit of my caffeine. I don't even drink a lot of soda. The major problem with these alcoholic energy drinks is that people drink them like they are drinking a regular beer.

So, what I am saying to you is if you find yourself drinking one of these beernergy drinks this weekend, pay attention to your consumption. We don't need a UNH student student falling victim to stupidity. That being said, party on! Time to start my Thirsty Thursday!

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Revisiting my roots

Well this has been a fun couple of days here at UNH, just further proving why the University of Nonsensical Happenings is such a fitting name. Seriously, out of anything I have ever written, I'm not sure the title will ever be topped. Not to toot my own horn, but UNH never ceases to live up to its numerous reputations. Before I go on I would like to address a comment about my last column (alumni webcam). While the majority of the comments (on the blog and TNH) agreed with me (or were even more radical: see Friday's post) there were a few who questioned my approach. This was my favorite:

From TNHonline: Jeff says: "And the award for the biggest overreaction goes to...
Seriously, is there anything the New Hampshirite isn't outraged by?"


Jeff, there are many things I am not outraged by including, but not limited to: puppies, videos of kittens falling asleep, getting good grades, ice cream, fluffy clouds, roasted marshmallows, and jello. But not green jello. Fucking green jello pisses me off. And don't you dare put fruit in the bottom. Shit gets mushy and gross.

Anyways...
While the blog has seen an increase in activity lately, I know I haven't been as open as years past about what's been going on at the Nonsensical Headquarters. And by Headquarters I am referring to my apartment. I know for the most part the writers on here are anonymous, and you read about what we have to say, but do you really know us? Sure, by now you have picked up that I am a student here, and I may or may not have what some people refer to as a "drinking problem." Although I vehemently deny that accusation, I understand why some might get the notion.

I know this blog has been more serious at times recently, and I love the direction it is heading, but I also don't want to forget my roots...

This year has been insane. I have never been so busy, but still had so much fun at the same time. Last week we celebrated one of my roommate's 21st birthdays, it was a Tuesday night (into Wednesday morning). Wednesday morning classes were fun. (Double hangover! What does it mean?!?!) Follow that up with Halloween Weekend and you can imagine how last week was for us. Two trash bags full of empties. That's how it was.

I'll share one of my favorite stories from this year. So, I get back to my apartment after being out for the night  and two of my roommates are just hanging out in the kitchen/living room area. I ask where our other roommates are. They tell me that one is still out and the other... is in a kitchen cabinet... again. As we're laughing one of the doors swings open and his arm just flops out. For some reason, and none of us can figure why, but he enjoys curling up inside a kitchen cabinet to pass out. He says that "it must be comfy." Of course, we make sure he makes in to bed eventually. We're not that terrible. The strangest thing is that he usually grabs a blanket to take in the cabinet with him. I mean if he walks down to his room to take a blanket off his bed, then why wouldn't he just stay there? Ah, alcohol does funny things to one's mind... and cue him coming to talk to me about this in 3, 2, 1...

I have a few other stories and hopefully many more to come that I'll be sprinkling in from time to time but until then:

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Webcam Thoughts Revisited

I know I wrote about this last week, but I wanted to further expand my thoughts for the larger audience that TNH gets. Thanks for all the feedback so far!


UPDATE: From the actual page of the webcam: "In response to privacy concerns, the webcam has been limited to five preset locations." (Main Street East, Main Street West, Wildcat statue, College Road and Memorial Field.)

The New Hampshirite does it again.

Last Thursday, a few of my roommates and I were driving over to the mall to pick up some Halloween weekend essentials. As we passed through the intersection of Main Street and College Road in front of the Whittemore Center, we saw two female students holding a poster board that read "Creepy." None of us knew what that meant until we read Friday's TNH. There was an article about a new live webcam that had been installed about two weeks earlier at that intersection. This webcam prompted many students, including myself, to question its purposes. The project was funded by the Alumni Association in order to help keep alumni engaged with campus.

Almost immediately upon hearing about this webcam many students questioned the idea of whether or not the camera is an invasion of privacy. The fact that the camera is in a public setting seems to be the counter argument against the question of privacy. However the major problem I have with this camera, and I know many other students agree, is that users have the ability to control it. That is right. Anyone with Internet access can rotate, angle and most disturbingly, zoom the camera.

I do not know if people realize this, but the Internet is full of creeps. Like truly sick-minded people. Have you ever been on Chatroulette? My point exactly. I went onto the webcam to check it out before I first wrote about this Friday afternoon. I was third in line (users can control the camera for up to one minute at a time) and all three people in front of me used their time to zoom in on the closest female. How would you feel if you found out people were checking you out through a camera? As one girl walked underneath the camera it quickly aimed down and zoomed in as though the user was trying to see down her shirt. These are the type of people who are accessing this webcam.

Another complaint that students have voiced is that the UNH and Durham Police can sit in front of a computer on weekend nights and when they see a group of students stumble by the camera send a car to check them out. They might as well just set up sobriety checkpoints for pedestrians. Now some people would say that this would be a good thing. It can be used to identify those breaking the law and can be used for student safety. However, it is not a security camera. It does not record anything. Quite honestly, it is in such a public place I doubt it would catch anything more serious than a fender bender. L.B. Jeffries won't be solving any murders with this thing.

The Alumni Association argued that it would help keep other alumni engaged in campus and hopefully help draw more donations. I can think of several ways for alumni to stay engaged without assisting Internet pedophiles. These ways include reading this newspaper.0 TNH is student written; I doubt there is a better way to stay engaged with our campus than reading about campus events. They can also read the UNH Athletics' website, the UNH Today blog and news feed or even my blog. The Internet is a great place to access information and news about our great campus, but those ways should not include a live and controllable webcam.

I think it is amusing the Alumni Association hopes the camera will help improve donations. If this is how they decide to spend their money, they should not expect to get a dime from me. The Alumni Association used a $5,000 trust left by a former alumna to pay for the camera. I would not be happy if that was how my money was spent. Especially considering the conditions of many dorms, academic buildings and sidewalks on this campus. I mean have you ever been in the bathrooms in Hamilton Smith?

In conclusion, I feel that the cons definitely out way the pros with this camera. I know a lot of students agree with my thoughts and I also know that a lot of people think that it is a great idea. Perhaps students would feel differently if the camera were made stationary or at least eliminating the option to zoom in. I guess it comes down to what people think is more important; being able to see the beauty of UNH or being able to walk down Main Street without feeling that someone is watching you from the privacy of their bedroom.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

UNH Student Challenges Eviction

I just came across this Union Leader article (through a "UNH" Google news search. I wouldn't actually check their website.) The article is about Miranda Silverman, a 19-year-old UNH student who is being evicted from her Gables apartment for hosting a party with alcohol. I do not know this student or any of her roommates, but I would like to share my thoughts on this, and I hope to hear your thoughts about it. The article states that "No one living in Silverman's sixth-floor apartment was old enough to drink, yet the party of 20 to 30 students included a 'significant quantity' of alcohol and music so loud that a dorm manager could hear it blaring in his first-floor apartment." In the UNH housing agreement that residents must sign it clearly states that you cannot have alcohol in your room if you or none of your roommates are 21. It also says that noise must be kept at a reasonable level, even before quiet hours begin. In the Gables, you may not have more than 13 people in your apartment (unless you register the event, which means you can have 20-24 depending on your apartment size... but who actually registers their events?)

The actual UNH Room and Board Agreement reads: (I bolded those that directly apply to this case).

Alcohol. All students are subject to the University Rights and Rules governing the use of alcohol, as well as federal, state, and local laws of alcohol use to include the Open Container Ordinance of Durham, NH. Entryways, hallways, and lounges are common areas, and consumption of alcohol is prohibited in these areas (including by those of legal drinking age). Group sources such as kegs of beer, beer balls, and alcoholic punches are prohibited in University housing.
a) Only students of legal drinking age (21 years or older) may consume alcohol in their own room or in the room of another student who is at least 21 years old.
b) A legal age drinker may have just one open alcohol container at a time for personal consumption.
c) Alcohol is not permitted in any of the common or public areas of the residence halls or apartment buildings.
d) Possession or consumption of alcohol is permitted only in rooms where at least one of the assigned residents is at least 21 years old.
e) All common sources of alcohol, including but not limited to kegs, punch bowls, beer balls, or excessive amounts of alcohol in bottles or cases, are strictly prohibited.
f) Providing underage people with alcohol is illegal and strictly prohibited.
g) Any person who is under the influence of alcohol and whose behavior leads to personal injury or illness may be considered in violation of the alcohol policy.
h) Having a gathering in a residence room, suite or apartment that involves illegal consumption of alcohol will likely lead to eviction upon a first offense. A gathering is defined as more people in the room/suite/apartment than just the people who are assigned to that room/suite/apartment.


Evictions. A housing eviction requires a resident to move out of the residence hall/apartment system within 48 hours after the University judicial process is completed. Residents evicted or suspended for reasons of conduct are financially responsible for that semesters rent. It is important to understand that eviction can happen for a first offense. Incidents that may result in eviction from the residence hall/apartment system include, but are not limited to:

• Hosting a gathering in student rooms, student suites or student apartments that involves illegal alcohol possession or use (Others offenses omitted by me.)

Now in this case, Silverman was given "only 5 days leave," which is clearly longer than the 48 hour rule stated above. So obviously that complaint is not a very good one. I think we can all agree that Silverman clearly violated the Room and Board Agreement and therefore UNH has the right to evict her. I mean rules are rules and when you sign that agreement you are agreeing to those consequences.

Here is where the situation gets a little fuzzy.

Silverman claims she was told by a UNH provided legal adviser that her best chance would be to come clean about everything. So, she admitted those violations and was still evicted. Now her family has hired a lawyer and claimed that UNH did not let her honor the 5th Amendment (the right to remain silent).

Here are a few questions that must be addressed: Do students actually have the right to remain silent? (As far as I know the 5th Amendment applies to "criminal" cases. This is not a criminal case.) Does that matter? Did UNH actually force her to speak, or did they just advise her to?

To be clear the Fifth Amendment reads: "No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation."


"Nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself." This is not a criminal case, so the 5th Amendment may not technically apply. The second question: Did UNH actually force her to speak? I don't think so and it doesn't say that anywhere in the article. It simply says that UNH's advisor was "silent about [Silverman]'s Fifth Amendment right to stay silent."

Here is what I think: Whether or not she spoke, she was going to be evicted. UNH is more lenient when you admit to your actions (she was caught red handed!) and they still decided to evict her. I live in the Gables and at our first floor meeting our CA straight up said that UNH is much more likely to evict you after one offense, and hosting a party with illegal alcohol use (under 21) is almost a guaranteed eviction now. Now, you can argue whether or not UNH's policies are fair, but in all honesty, rules are rules. If you break them prepare to face the consequences.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

PS/Edit:
Even if the 5th Amendment does apply, maybe she should have known about that right on her own. (Not that it would have mattered, she still was going to be evicted. She didn't incriminate herself by speaking, she incriminated herself by hosting a party with a bunch of underaged college students!) This goes to show how many college students have no idea about their basic rights. I mean if Christine O'Donnell doesn't know the interpretations of the First Amendment, what do college students know? Then again, very few of you probably know who Christine O'Donnell is and that terrifies me. Think about this for a second: Can you name the five basic freedoms of the First Amendment? Most Americans can't. Maybe it's time you brush up on that before it's too late.