How did they not notice that?!

Hey all! This is STAN checking back in! I realize wildcat nation is in mourning right now so I thought I'd tell a story that would lighten the mood a bit! All day today I've been putting off writing a couple of papers, yes I know I said I never get work in the post a few days ago, shut up. I was watching tv with some friends and the remote was on the floor out of reach so changing the channel was impossible and Oprah was on. This would normally have been really annoying to me because all I can think about when I see Oprah is how in the hell did her eyes get so far apart? But today proved to be different and rewarding beyond my wildest hopes! Today she was doing a show on a family which the Dad, Mom, and two teenage sons were all addicted to heroin until the Oprah Winfrey show offered to help! Oprah was following up with them in this episode to see how they were doing. It seemed like they all had their lives back on track, Dad was working again, sons got their GEDs and one was in college, and I forget what the Mom was up to because I wasn't paying that much attention but I assume she was just peachy as well. Stay tuned I swear I'm getting to the point! The whole show was shaping up to be a touching story of redemtion and recovery, just like every other friggin Oprah show. She was talking to Mike, the father, about his recovery. And then the most incredible thing that I have ever seen on Oprah happened. They showed Mike's last name. It was Hawk. Mike Hawk!!! If you don't get it then just say Mike Hawk quickly and out loud. And if you STILL don't get it...... genitals. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw it and immediately started crying from laughing. Now who made the decision to call the guy "Mike" on INTERNATIONAL television? Apparently Michael was too long. The best part was that the guy named one of his sons Michael too and he went by Mike also!! Mike Hawk Jr!!! Fun for the whole family!! It was a group 15 minute laughfest that I felt compelled to share with the Nonsensical faithful. I hope I was able to shed a ray of light on this time of terrible sadness! At least your name doesn't rhyme with something dirty. Stay Classy, AUSSIE! AUSSIE! AUSSIE!