The Little League World Series Drinking Game

While I was working the other day, I thought of a new drinking game for the end of summer. If you have read the title of this post, you will have seen that I have found a way to get hammered while watching 12-year-olds live out their glory days on ESPN. This is the best I can do because one of my life-long goals was to play in the LLWS and I think I have finally hit the Danny Almonte stage of getting caught. I give you The Little League World Series Drinking Game:

One Sip:

•  Anytime the following are named "favorite MLB Player" - Any Yankee or Red Sox player, Albert Puljos, Ryan Howard, Ichiro Suzuki, Tim Lincecum
• Favorite MLB player is retired or linked to steroids
• A homerun is hit
• Plus fastball: A pitch is adjusted to 95+ mph
• Whenever the "special pinch runner" rule is used
• A player names "Shaun White" as his favorite XGame Althete
• A player names "recess" or "lunch" as his favorite subject

Two Sips:

• Two or more errors committed on same play
• Favorite MLB player is dead
• Player cries after being hit by pitch
• Outfielder makes routine catch that announcers call a web gem
• A pitch is adjusted to 100+ MPH
• A batter is over 6 feet tall
• ESPN shows the tallest player in the tournament standing next to or back-to-back with the shortest
• Orel Hershiser (or any announcer) compares a kid to a major league player

Three Sips:

• Coach's son pitches/plays shortstop and hits 3rd or 4th
• An over coaching situation, coach grabs player by shoulders/ cheeks for face-to-face "focus" time
• A pitcher shakes the hand of a batter he hit
• No hitter is thrown or 12+ strikeouts
• Outfielder makes a diving catch where he didn't need to dive or slowed his run so he could dive
• A batter is over 6'3''
• Mercy rule is put into effect

Finish Drink:

• When there is a closeup of a player crying after losing
• A batter is over 175 pounds
• A player throws a no-hitter (or 12+ Ks) and hits a homerun in the same game
• Little League player has a "Brain Wilson Beard" (or any facial hair)
• Game is ended with a walk-off error or bases loaded walk

Cheers!

Stay classy, not UMassy