Settling In (Like a Pro)

So this is my TNH column for Tuesday. I'm posting it early and you'll see why...

Before I get started I would like to try something a little bit different. For the past week SCOPE has been hyping up their Spring Climax show that is supposed to be announced today (Tuesday). It might have already happened, but if it hasn’t check your facebook page now. Did you check it? Did you really check it? Seriously, did you? Since I’m writing this Sunday night I have prepared a couple broad reactions for students to use like an ad-lib game when the show is finally announced. (Note this was written before SCOPE announced the date or that it was hip-hop.)

Oh my God! Did you here that SCOPE actually got (hip-hop artist) for Climax. They are so (adjective). It is going to be (personal reaction). Or: Oh man, I’m so (synonym for disappointed) that SCOPE got (rock band). How am I supposed to (favorite dance move) with some random (guy/girl) that I’ll (actually talk to/Like A Little) because (I’m confident/need to flirt online because I am unable to do so in person)? Or: (Favorite curse word) SCOPE got (favorite musician) I’m going use (favorite narcotic) right before. Heck, I’ll use (favorite narcotic) while in line to get tickets. Or: SCOPE got (popular “Indie” band). Why are they (trying to ruin my college experience/so awesome)? Or: SCOPE got (musician). I’m not really a big fan but I’ll be so (slang for drunk) it should be (adjective). And lastly: Holy crap! I can’t believe SCOPE got (Wiz Khalifa/Kid Cudi). The New Hampshirite totally called that over a month before anyone else did! (Blog only: cough 99.99999% sure it'll be Wiz cough. Also, his song "Say Yeah" has the lyrics "like a pro" in the chorus... just saying...)

Anyways, I’m completely positive that at least one of those will be applicable no matter what performer SCOPE actually gets and no matter how you personally feel about it. In the end the performer will be a popular act (my money is still on a hip-hop artist) (*It is confirmed) who will sellout the Whittemore Center and some students will be extremely happy and others will be equally disappointed.

Now that I got that out of the way we can move on. So the second semester of the year is a week old and classes are now actually meaningful, well some are at least. I have been on campus for over week and several things have occurred to me. No matter what classes I take, or how early I go to the different bookstores I will still have to order a book that neither of the stores has. It happens every semester and I am convinced that it will always be the very first book I have to read and even more likely it will be the only book I will actually open the entire semester. On top of that, I will always be outraged over the cost of textbooks, which severely cuts into my leisure funds. While on the subject of textbooks, I have also noticed a strong correlation between the price of a book, and the amount of time you actually use it. The higher the book costs, the less likely you will ever have to use it. That is a non-researched fact that I made up to show my disapproval for the high costs of books.

Another thing I noticed this past week is that stuff actually happens on campus before 10 AM. I have never had an 8 AM class, or a class before 10 AM for that matter, until this semester. I always assumed that 8 AM classes were a myth created by my friends who wake up early to guilt trip me. But alas, they are real and are as horrible as they sound.

During syllabus week my roommates and I “collected” around 275 “soda” tabs that will be sent though Project Sunshine to help pay for dialysis. Our apartment’s motto is “Drink a beer, save a life.” In all honesty, at least 25 or 30 of those tabs were actually from soda cans. I mean you need something to mix cheap whiskey with, right? Collecting and donating the tabs is a great way to give a little while enjoying the college experience. Plus it provides a little excuse for drinking on a Tuesday night.

Lastly, I would like to end this column with a good old fashion “Go ‘Cats, Beat Maine!” We all know this is the hockey team’s biggest weekend of the regular season so if you were lucky enough to get tickets for the games this weekend be sure to be loud and support the team.

Stay classy, not UMassy.