So Walking is Hard...

Earlier today I was sitting in the library reading for about three hours. It was a book I need to read for my colloquium and I can always focus better at the library than at my apartment. After about an hour I had to go to the bathroom. I was in the big reading room on the fifth floor and sitting on the couch in the corner. I stood up and shuffled between the couch and then I took my first step only to realize that my entire right leg was asleep. My knee buckled and I almost fell. Almost. I regained my balance and did that foot stomp move. I continued toward the door, but did that weird limping thing the whole way there. The entire time I could hear people trying not to laugh. So if you were there, yeah, that was me. So smooth...

In other news, if you didn't see below, the Mast Road cat was found and returned. Well done people.

Also, I just got back to my room for the first time since this morning and I had a message from Chad, the editor at TNH. Apparently David May (Vice President of Business Affairs I believe) wants to talk with me about my last column. I know he was involved with the energy drink situation, but my last column mostly focused on the new quiet hours at the Gables and Woodsides. I'm emailed him and will run updates about the situation. I'm very interested in hearing what he has to say, but the last time something like this happened it began the on-going two year war with Dining.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Update: Already heard back from David May. He said "I just wanted to get a better understanding of the issues at the Gables." I replied: "The only issue is that many students are upset by the earlier quiet hours at the Gables and Woodsides (especially on the weekends) that were put into effect this semester. I believe that the majority of students would prefer the one a.m. quiet hour as opposed to midnight on Friday and Saturday nights. I am hoping to write a respectful petition for the former quiet hours to be restored in a timely manner and will circulate it to gather signatures and show that I have support. Thank you and let me know if you have any further questions."

Like a Pro: Priorities and Contradictions at UNH

Note: This was written Sunday, before more information had been released on the Dining/Energy drink fiasco. At last word, President Huddleston has delayed the ban over the outcry of the student body. At least one administrator has common sense because either way we can get our drinks cheaper (although less convenient) downtown at the DUMP or Store 24 (even though it's not Store 24 anymore, that's all I'll ever call it.)

During my four years at UNH, I have noticed that many people on this campus, including faculty, the administration and the general employees do not always have their priorities quite right and they often contradict themselves and one another. I believe that it has become apparent that there is not enough communication between the different levels of school employees. Often times decisions are made without asking the students opinion, or more problematic, too small of a survey sample.

The priorities and contradictions that surround people at this school are often quite mind-boggling. We have a few current examples that prove my very point. Take UNH Dining for example. I know I pick on them a lot, but some of it is deserved. Ever since I've been here they have tried to promote healthy eating. They even went so far as to remove all the salt shakers from the tables at the dining halls and replacing them with expensive salt and pepper mills. Yet, this semester we returned to campus only to see that possibly the healthiest food source on campus, Panache, had been replaced with a Dunkin' Donuts. Personally, I don't mind this, I love their iced coffee, but it seems like a bit of a contradiction. No salt for you! But have all the Boston Creams you want. Then more news came out that effective in January all UNH Dining services will no longer serve energy drinks. Thankfully, President Mark Huddleston intervened and put the rule on hold.

I have two predictions if the rule is put into effect: It will cause the entire university's GPA to drop a full point and the number of students falling asleep in class will skyrocket. Dining, let me get this straight, salt and energy drinks are bad for us, but it is okay to put a Dunkin' Donuts in the middle of our student center located in the heart of campus? Stick to your guns about healthy eating, sustainability and local support or don't bother. Seriously, UNH dining flip-flops more than Mitt Romney.

Here is another example that deals with the faculty and administration. By now we all know about the Professor Larkin situation. He exposed himself to a teenage girl and her mother in a Market Basket parking lot and was given a three year probationary period where he won't be able to teach and only do research. I wonder if a male student were to be caught doing the same thing what the outcome would be? Probation? Expulsion? Would faculty members support a male student who pulled something like this, or would it be different? We have many student organizations and student support groups on this campus that completely focus on eliminating problems like this, but many of our professors portray Larkin as the victim.

UNH Housing doesn't stray from the pack either. For the first two years of my college career I lived in the regular dorms. I was a proud resident of Williamson Hall as a freshman and as a sophomore I was in Devine Hall. Last year and this year I have been lucky to live in the Gables. When I made the transition housing said that living in the Gables you have more freedom, more privacy and personal responsibility. Then what do they do? Move quiet hours up to be the same as the dorms. This does a few things. Here is my hypothetical prediction. This will drive more of the "party" students off campus.

Personally, if I knew about the change ahead of time, I would have avoided Gables and got an apartment this year. That extra hour makes a huge difference on the weekends. I also believe more students could potentially lose housing do to quiet hour violations that lead to alcohol and other more serious violations. It's the student's own fault, but midnight comes fast on a Friday night. Again this could lead to more students moving off campus and into Durham and the surrounding towns who already despise students living in residential neighborhoods. Durham and UNH relations are already tense and they have been for years and this could potentially add fuel to the fire.

UNH has so many different departments and levels of authority that it would be nearly impossible for them to not contradict themselves or one another. I believe there is going to be a greater need of cooperation and communication especially when the budget cuts begin having an even greater impact.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Energy Drink Gate

So I just read an article from WMUR that stated the one of the reasons behind the energy drink ban is that it is a common mixer with alcohol and that it makes students not realize how drunk they are. The old Four Loko problem. Personally, this makes me even more angry. It is ridiculous, what's next? Making UNH a dry campus? Students are still going to drink a lot and make stupid decisions no matter what the campus stores sell. I guess we'll just have to go down to Market Basket and buy bulk cases of Red Bull. It's a helluva lot cheaper there anyway. The UNH convenient stores have the most marked up prices I've ever seen. It's almost like they're trying to end the budget crisis on their own.

In the article UNH assistent vice president for business affairs David May was quoted as saying "Just recently, there was an incident on campus involving energy drinks that helped send a student to the hospital." Listen David, it wasn't the energy drink and it wasn't even the alcohol that sent a student to the hospital. It was the student who didn't know how to handle his or her own drinking. Every weekend hundreds of UNH students use energy drinks with alcohol and one person has a few too many and now we're all punished? This is group punishment because of one person's mistake.

So go ahead and take away all the Red Bulls from the UNH dining stores, but students are not going to stop drinking. And there will still be cases of students having to go to the hospital. It happens. This is college and you're only hurting students in the long run. You are taking away our ability to make our own decisions and sometimes people need to learn from their mistakes. Stupid kids aren't going to learn if you never give them the chance. Isn't college supposed to prepare us for the real world? Or are people going to be making decisions for me the rest of my life?

The article continued:

UNH said its plan to remove energy drinks is part of its mission to be the healthiest campus community in the country by 2020. Dining halls have eliminated trans fats from food, removed salt shakers from tables and reduced sodium in many recipes. Officials are also studying how to reduce the amount of high fructose corn syrup that’s served.

So they are giving two reasons for this. Healthy eating and alcohol mixing... oh, by the way, I'm so happy I won't be having to eat here in 2020. Sounds like the dining halls are gonna be gross. 

The Health Nazi

Today I give you another head scratcher courtesy of UNH Dining. I hate to always pick on them (okay, maybe I don't) but they seriously make it too easy. I love most of what they do, our dining halls are very good compared to other schools, but I feel it is my duty to speak my mind freely and truthfully. UNH dining recently announced that effective January 2012, UNH will no longer serve energy drinks. This includes the dining halls and dining stores such as Zeke's, Wildcatessen and Gables Convenience. I will discuss this a bit in my TNH column tomorrow, but I wanted to say a few things I couldn't fit in. This reminds me of the Seinfeld Soup Nazi clip (and again shows that old saying that everything can be connected to a Seinfeld episode - seriously if there are college classes on the Simpsons and the Red Sox and stuff, there should be one that studies current events through the window of Seinfeld episodes).

Those of you who don't know the episode (shame on you), here is the best clip I could find to embed:

In dining's case, it's more like: No salt for you! No energy drinks for you! But hey, have as many Boston Cremes and double glazed chocolate donuts that you want. 

The elimination of Red Bulls will lead to more students falling asleep in class and more students not being able to pull all nighters successfully. And this is college, so we're going try them anyways. But it has become quit obvious that dining has a hidden agenda to lower the entire school's GPA. Here's my conspiracy theory, UNH's GPA drops and it will be easier to get into. More students = more meal plans = more money for dining. It's quite obvious and evil genius if I dare say. Bravo dining, you may have won this round and fooled the school, but you can't fool me. For our health? Pah, yea right. Keep telling yourself that. Now when is that Dunkin' Donuts going to open in the middle of our student center again?

You may take our salt and our energy drinks. But you will never take our freedom!

Stay classy, not UMassy.

(PS: I'm just waiting for the day when I show up to HoCo and my card no longer has a meal plan)