Strange Google Hits

By: The New Hampshirite

Guess who just got their tax return! Oh yes, this will be a great weekend... if only this rain will stop. Over the past week the blog has been expanding with new writers, topics and ventures. Readership is skyrocketing (compared to was it usually is), while that can be attributed to the recent growth, I can't help but wonder how certain people end up here. Thanks to sitemeter I can read Google searches that lead to the blog. Usually people search "UNH blog," "University of Nonsensical Happenings" or "The New Hampshirite," but here are a few of my personal favorites that people have actually searched and wound up here:

• "UNH Porn" (around 8 times)
• "frat hazing videos" (3x - different variations)
• "Naked UNH girls" (3 or 4x)
• “Nonsensical Porn” (2x)
• “Dick Umile George Bush” (1x)
• “university of new hampshire sucks” (1x)
• “belt in Greek is” (1x)
• “awesome boobs on chat roulette” (2x)
• “streaming cum clothes” (1x)
• "UNH fight club" (3 or 4x)
• "Fire Dick Umile" (2x)
• "Third Eye Blind at UNH 2010" (1x)

Now, most of those can be related to the blog in one way or another, but others are a little too ridiculous for me to put my finger on. I am kind of disturbed by how many people look for UNH specific porn... and "streaming cum clothes" whatever the fuck that is. Also, what is up with some trying to search Umile and Bush together, like are they looking for a list of worst leaders ever? I wonder if the Third Eye Blind search is a hint to a spring show, for their own safety (and not my own preferences) I hope Scope gets a rapper for the second spring show. Well, UNH I really don't think I can compete right now with Lady Meow's post from last night so that is it. Have a nice weekend and hopefully this rain will clear up.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Really Google?

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Trans-Global Googlelization

Not having the internet these last few days has led me to better understand myself. Over this past week I couldn’t believe how many times I strolled into my house’s office in hopes of expanding my useless knowledge by using Google; only to realize that the room was completely empty. I kept track of a few of these things that I needed to know. The following is only a small fraction of the questions I asked myself over the past week. Without Google I didn't know where to go.

• The name of the Clint Eastwood movie on AMC. (In the Line of Fire)
• How many movies Morgan Freeman has narrated. (6)
• Where my name ranked on the Social Security Administrations 2008 top baby names. (Top 50 but has declined each year since 2000.)
• Jason Bay’s highest single season homerun tally. (35)
• Red Sox hit streak record. (Dom DiMaggio 34 in 1949)
• Beastie Boy’s new album release date. (December 29th)
• What year The Godfather came out. (1972)
  

I realize that none of this information was even remotely relative to my life. This discovery has led me to believe that Google is trying to slowly take over the world by brainwashing and filling the minds of innocent people. I wouldn’t be surprised if Google is actually run by the US or the Chinese government. It is a tactic that has worked well to help take peoples’ minds off important events. Take a look at the latest Google Trends to see for yourself. Notice how nothing important comes up for a until at least the 20's. We have become dependent on search engines like Google to tell us what to do and if we are not careful soon we will feel the true rath of the Google and it's brainwashing capabilities.

Google Safely.