Hey you. Yeah, you there. The one reading this right now. Will you hire me? Before you answer, let me tell you a little bit about myself, the world I live in, my college career and a few things I think I think. Hey, shut up and listen, I’m the one writing this, not you.
This interview is going great.
Every time I turn on the TV to a 24-hour news channel, I basically hear the same thing: jobs, economy, jobs, jobs, economy, gas prices, jobs, unemployment, jobs, economy, OIL!, jobs, economy, jobs, jobs. I think that just about covers it.
And here I am, just over a month away from graduating college with a degree in history and a concentration in modern America, and from what I have been told, apparently there are no jobs. Absolutely nothing. Zero. No possible jobs for anyone.
One of the major issues of the current presidential election is the American economy and the different possibilities to “fix it.” In fact, it could be the deciding factor for the entire election. Will the millionaire with the Harvard degree win or the other millionaire with the Harvard degree win? Let’s face it, the contraceptive crusader does not really stand a chance.
Sorry, I got slightly off track there. Where was I? Oh right, jobs, especially the part about me not having one and having no chance at finding one. Let me present to you, my potential future employer, a brief résumé:
High school graduate? Check. College degree? Check (well, I got this pretty much locked up). Former jobs: miniature golf and ice cream cashier, camp counselor (summer and baseball), and landscaping. Other notable things: student-athlete award winner in high school, will graduate college with honors, National History Honors Society member (Phi Alpha Theta), blogger extraordinaire, three-year columnist for college paper, and I have almost 1,500 followers on Twitter. That’s impressive, right?
Okay, now let me move on to jobs that I think I might actually be qualified to perform:
History researcher. Is this an actual job? Because I am actually pretty good at that, you know, finding interesting articles about things that happened by using online databases. Hey Steven Spielberg, let me fact check your next period film. Sweet, thanks.
History teacher. I know some stuff about American history. Enough to write solid papers and earn good grades, and I’m pretty sure I can create a solid course curriculum. Although, I never did take any education courses at UNH, because I think you can pretty much get teenagers to believe anything you want if you tell them the right way.
Although, I feel like I’d be the type of teacher who would be punished because helicopter parents would complain about me teaching their son or daughter that Christopher Columbus might not have been such a good guy after all.
So, where do I go from here? I mean there really have to be some jobs out there somewhere? Right? I heard that there is a place where the jobs multiply like baby rabbits in the springtime and there are no evil hawks to eat them up. Some say that this job utopia is just a myth. Others swear to have seen it or even been there before. I’m not sure what I believe, but I do know that I will never give up.
There is the old saying, “you have to spend money to make money.” But what if I don’t have any money to spend in the first place in order to make more money back in return? This whole college thing, with the mandatory fees and textbook prices and weekend benders has kind of dried up the old bank account.
I am only 22 years old, but I am ready for the inevitable job hunt in front of me. It will not be easy; it will take blood, sweat and tears, but I will not perish without a fight. The last of the jobs have not dried up, you just have to know where to look. The American dream is still possible; it just is not the same American dream of the generations before us.
I mean come on, with self-motivation like that who wouldn’t want to hire me? So, I will ask you one more time. Will you hire me? Please? Because my parents are going to be pissed if I don’t find a job real soon.
Stay classy, not UMassy.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Monday, April 9, 2012
Yup. We really are graduating.
So you may remember a while back how I hinted that @PrezHuddleston and I were working behind the scenes with each other on a project. Well, it ended up going in a slightly different direction then we anticipated, but it is actually much better this way.
Here is how it went down. I wrote a column last semester about what the senior gift should be. Although, it was mostly in a sarcastic manner. Pretty much I just didn't want it to go to the business school (because that only helps a small percentage of campus) and I didn't want it to be a bench or something. Anyways, Prez tweets me saying that he's on board for trying to do something bigger (a video screen at the Whit would be in the 1-2 million range, it will not happen) and that he knows who I am. I then realized I also know who he is and we've know each other for a while now.
Long story short, we bounced ideas around, but then got in touch with the alumni department and decided that we would help them promote the senior gift using our followings. Through the help of a few focus groups they decided that giving the money to the rec center (to immediately add equipment or for future expansion) would be the best use of the senior gift money. Usually the senior gift money just goes into a generic UNH fund for whatever needs money (from painting rooms to sidewalk repair etc).
So how do @PrezHuddleston and I fit in with all of this? Basically, if we get 50% to donate (even just $5) PHudd will reveal himself at the lobster back. I'm being used for educational and promotional purposes. (Basically UNH knows that students don't check their websites, but they do follow me and Prez much more closely.)
Here's how I come in: Basically UNH has a terrible history of raising a senior gift fund and our alumni donations are terrible. In the past they have asked the class to donate their graduating year in money. For example last year they asked students to donate $20.11. Guess what? 35 friggin' people donated and about half of it was staff. I think we can beat 35 people. UMass historical raises a ton of money through donations. We're classy, so I think we can get 50%.
Stay tuned, there will also be a video and more featuring PrezHuddleston and the real Huddleston and other special guests (I declined a role in the video because I'm still working on my own plans). Also, you don't have to be a senior to give.
Underclassmen, remember, the gym is going to benefit you. Not too long ago the student gym was a small classroom in the Field House, imagine what it could become.
We've worked to make the donation process very simple and I really hope we can make this work.
Stay classy, not UMassy.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Here, have a sticker.
I wrote the following rant in my notebook during a class today and it is something I have thought for a while now. Maybe it is because I'm an upperclassmen and I find myself in classes with younger students who haven't experienced all the feedback and constructive criticisms I have, but sometimes I can't help but become frustrated while sitting in a class discussion. So, I will write what I dislike about discussions and offer some advice that will hopefully help you. I am actually pretty shy, I usually don't like participating too much, so I know what it is like. Maybe this can help you.
I have a small bone to pick with how some students perform in classes with a dedicated discussion time. Participating in a college class discussion is not merely repeating what the professor said during the previous lecture. This is not high school, middle school or even elementary school for that matter. You are not supposed to copy you teacher's statements, it is not a game of Simon Says, it is supposed to be a mind stimulating exercise. What are you proving to everyone when you simply repeat a point the professor, or even another student has made? How good of a listener you are? Here, have a smiley sticker.
Please note that there is a difference between when a professor calls on you in search of a specific answer and an open discussion about a book, article or selected reading.
Also, professors who let students get away with this type of behavior are just as bad, if not worse. They are training brainless, thoughtless and creativity-deprived puppets. A generation that does not think for themselves will not progress and that is a generation lost.
Excellent, you remembered the themes of our previous lecture - have a cookie - but how is that reflected in the reading? Great, you recall the point I made when I introduced this article to you - have a lollipop - but what did you extract from the reading?
Personally, I don't speak a lot in class discussion, but when I do I always try to bring something new to the table. A counterpoint or an alternative viewpoint. I guess what I'm saying is don't waste class or discussion time by repeating something that is already a given, already known by the class and especially if it was already spoken by the professor. Use your brain to think, analyze or critique. Don't be broad, general and safe. That is boring. If you really want to help that discussion and boost your participation points, be creative with you talking points.
Quality, not quantity. Nobody likes a know-it-all, even professors (which is why they will delay and ask if anyone has an idea or thought if the same kid(s) keep raising their hand). Students like that, while knowledgeable (although there is nothing better when they are wrong) generally don't change their discussion methods. Try throwing out a curveball once and a while and you will be rewarded.
That being said, I have been involved in some great discussions where I walk away very happy, but those seem to be rare as of late... and maybe I'm just an old fart now.
Stay classy, not UMassy.
PS: RIP Kurt:
I have a small bone to pick with how some students perform in classes with a dedicated discussion time. Participating in a college class discussion is not merely repeating what the professor said during the previous lecture. This is not high school, middle school or even elementary school for that matter. You are not supposed to copy you teacher's statements, it is not a game of Simon Says, it is supposed to be a mind stimulating exercise. What are you proving to everyone when you simply repeat a point the professor, or even another student has made? How good of a listener you are? Here, have a smiley sticker.
Please note that there is a difference between when a professor calls on you in search of a specific answer and an open discussion about a book, article or selected reading.
Also, professors who let students get away with this type of behavior are just as bad, if not worse. They are training brainless, thoughtless and creativity-deprived puppets. A generation that does not think for themselves will not progress and that is a generation lost.
Excellent, you remembered the themes of our previous lecture - have a cookie - but how is that reflected in the reading? Great, you recall the point I made when I introduced this article to you - have a lollipop - but what did you extract from the reading?
Personally, I don't speak a lot in class discussion, but when I do I always try to bring something new to the table. A counterpoint or an alternative viewpoint. I guess what I'm saying is don't waste class or discussion time by repeating something that is already a given, already known by the class and especially if it was already spoken by the professor. Use your brain to think, analyze or critique. Don't be broad, general and safe. That is boring. If you really want to help that discussion and boost your participation points, be creative with you talking points.
Quality, not quantity. Nobody likes a know-it-all, even professors (which is why they will delay and ask if anyone has an idea or thought if the same kid(s) keep raising their hand). Students like that, while knowledgeable (although there is nothing better when they are wrong) generally don't change their discussion methods. Try throwing out a curveball once and a while and you will be rewarded.
That being said, I have been involved in some great discussions where I walk away very happy, but those seem to be rare as of late... and maybe I'm just an old fart now.
Stay classy, not UMassy.
PS: RIP Kurt:
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Dodgeball for Autism
Because I'm a nice guy, I'll post things like this for a good cause when orgs send them to me...
Come join the sisters of Alpha Xi Delta and Dodge For A Cure (<-- facebook event link) to help support our philanthropy, Autism Speaks. Autism affects the brain development of a child, which can then be associated with intellectual disabilities and physical health issues. A child may also develop difficulties in motor coordination. Less than 5% of research funding goes back to Autism yet this disorder affects 1 in every 110 children.
Helping to raise money for this special cause is easy by signing up for our Dodge Ball Tournament. This event will be held on Tuesday, April 10th at the Field House at 7pm. The teams will consist of 6 members each. There will be a $5 general admission fee and 100% of the funding will be donated to the Autism Speaks Foundation. Please contact Shayla Stewart to register a team at ser82@wildcats.unh.edu.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
So You're Graduating...
UNH commencement is 46 days away and if you’re a second semester senior like me, you are probably having some mixed emotions. Part of me is excited to move on to the next phase of my life, part of me is sad about leaving and part of me is terrified, yet anxious to graduate. Out of everything, I think that the worst part of being a second semester senior is answering the same questions over and over again.
“What are your plans after graduation?” is the most annoying and frustrating question I have ever had to answer in my entire life. Partially because every time I answer it, which seems to be more and more frequent as graduation approaches, I answer it differently.
I know that many of my classmates already have potential jobs and internships lined up and others have already been hired, but not all of us are in that position. Many of us simply do not know what we want to do. How can you answer that question if you don’t even know?
So, I have been devising a scheme over the last few months in which I tailor my answer depending on who had asked me the question.
If it is someone who knows all about me, including my blogging side, I explain how I am looking at a few potential cities in search of writing jobs. Sometimes I may even slip in how my older brother, who majored in screenwriting, and I have a few movie ideas we may even write. This is actually semi-serious.
To other people, like family, I explain how I plan on working for a year before applying for graduate schools where I would study anything from law to politics to secondary education.
Then comes the people that I let myself have a little fun with, and if you are in a similar position to me, I recommend giving a few of these a shot.
One of my favorites, which I usually use on more free thinkers or people with super strict social values (for the shock of course) is explaining how I want to follow one of my favorite bands on a world tour and write about my experiences with the different cultures and how the music is a part of their life. Think of it as an anthropologic, cross-cultural study with a dash of gonzo-journalism thrown in. Using those terms only sweetens the deal. I should add that deep down, that would actually be pretty awesome; I just don’t have the money to make it economically feasible.
If the person who asks the question is technologically disabled and unaware of the musings of the Internet, sometimes I will use that to my advantage.
I may say something like, “Well, I just received a job offer from this web-based company called Reddit. They think I would be great as a researcher/writer and a weekend editor, so I am pretty excited about that potential opportunity.”
Other times, I say something so ridiculous I know that the person won’t be able to quickly think up a follow-up question, so they will awkwardly smile and end the conversation, which is a win in my book. Studying the effects of various illegal narcotics and over-the-counter pharmaceuticals on skateboarding bears usually does the trick.
Another trick to avoid a long conversation is to not allow for any possibility of a follow-up question. For example: “Well, I actually have been interviewed by a specific governmental bureau and will be traveling to a secret location in Nevada in July. I’m sorry, I’ve already said too much.”
Sometimes I get really into the conversation, but avoid talking about my potential career at all. I do this by explaining a huge summer trip in detail so it will distract the person from bringing up jobs again.
Canoeing down the Mississippi, backpacking through Europe, walking across America and other various outdoor adventures usually does the trick just fine.
When all is said and done, I realize that in less than two months I will be done with my undergrad career. Whether I end up in graduate school, freelance writing or studying bear brains, I am going to make the most of these last 46 days.
UNH has prepared me for the real world, but I still have 46 days to spend time with my closest friends and get every last bit of nonsense out of me before I leave Durham.
Stay classy, not UMassy
“What are your plans after graduation?” is the most annoying and frustrating question I have ever had to answer in my entire life. Partially because every time I answer it, which seems to be more and more frequent as graduation approaches, I answer it differently.
I know that many of my classmates already have potential jobs and internships lined up and others have already been hired, but not all of us are in that position. Many of us simply do not know what we want to do. How can you answer that question if you don’t even know?
So, I have been devising a scheme over the last few months in which I tailor my answer depending on who had asked me the question.
If it is someone who knows all about me, including my blogging side, I explain how I am looking at a few potential cities in search of writing jobs. Sometimes I may even slip in how my older brother, who majored in screenwriting, and I have a few movie ideas we may even write. This is actually semi-serious.
To other people, like family, I explain how I plan on working for a year before applying for graduate schools where I would study anything from law to politics to secondary education.
Then comes the people that I let myself have a little fun with, and if you are in a similar position to me, I recommend giving a few of these a shot.
One of my favorites, which I usually use on more free thinkers or people with super strict social values (for the shock of course) is explaining how I want to follow one of my favorite bands on a world tour and write about my experiences with the different cultures and how the music is a part of their life. Think of it as an anthropologic, cross-cultural study with a dash of gonzo-journalism thrown in. Using those terms only sweetens the deal. I should add that deep down, that would actually be pretty awesome; I just don’t have the money to make it economically feasible.
If the person who asks the question is technologically disabled and unaware of the musings of the Internet, sometimes I will use that to my advantage.
I may say something like, “Well, I just received a job offer from this web-based company called Reddit. They think I would be great as a researcher/writer and a weekend editor, so I am pretty excited about that potential opportunity.”
Other times, I say something so ridiculous I know that the person won’t be able to quickly think up a follow-up question, so they will awkwardly smile and end the conversation, which is a win in my book. Studying the effects of various illegal narcotics and over-the-counter pharmaceuticals on skateboarding bears usually does the trick.
Another trick to avoid a long conversation is to not allow for any possibility of a follow-up question. For example: “Well, I actually have been interviewed by a specific governmental bureau and will be traveling to a secret location in Nevada in July. I’m sorry, I’ve already said too much.”
Sometimes I get really into the conversation, but avoid talking about my potential career at all. I do this by explaining a huge summer trip in detail so it will distract the person from bringing up jobs again.
Canoeing down the Mississippi, backpacking through Europe, walking across America and other various outdoor adventures usually does the trick just fine.
When all is said and done, I realize that in less than two months I will be done with my undergrad career. Whether I end up in graduate school, freelance writing or studying bear brains, I am going to make the most of these last 46 days.
UNH has prepared me for the real world, but I still have 46 days to spend time with my closest friends and get every last bit of nonsense out of me before I leave Durham.
Stay classy, not UMassy
Sunday, April 1, 2012
UNH Blog: Now 100% More Bearproof
You asked. We listened. Thanks to Hunter S Thompson and Conan, UNH Blog is proud to announce we are now 100% more bearproof. You're welcome.
("Make it more bearproof" was an actual suggestion from the survey.)
("Make it more bearproof" was an actual suggestion from the survey.)
Budget cuts beginning to take toll on UNH
The budget cuts for USNH that the state senate approved last year are beginning to take a toll on the UNH campus. Roughly $33 million from UNH's budget was slashed and already dozens of UNH employees have been laid off, labs are on the brink of being shut down and many more fear for their future.
UNH has been looking at ways to help raise more money, especially since the cuts arrived while trying to build a new $50 million business school with barely half the money raised and other buildings remain in poor conditions.
Students have been asked to help out in even the smallest ways. Dorms are implementing new "lights out" policy that requires students to shut of all the lights and electrical devices by 11PM. This will help save on the school's energy bill and will force students to study more during the daylight, which should take away from their free time when illegal activities may occur.
UNH dormitories have also officially adopted the slogan "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down" in hopes to keep the water bill down.
All parking ticket fines will be doubled as of Monday, April 9th and those funds will go directly into all the athletic coaches' raises.
In order to save on the internet bill, UNH will also be blocking all adult websites, including pornography and Reddit, because that is estimated to reduce internet usage by approximately 78% campus wide.
Lastly, all tuition (and other various payments) made online to UNH will now have a $25 "convenience charge," because fuck you.
UNH has been looking at ways to help raise more money, especially since the cuts arrived while trying to build a new $50 million business school with barely half the money raised and other buildings remain in poor conditions.
Students have been asked to help out in even the smallest ways. Dorms are implementing new "lights out" policy that requires students to shut of all the lights and electrical devices by 11PM. This will help save on the school's energy bill and will force students to study more during the daylight, which should take away from their free time when illegal activities may occur.
UNH dormitories have also officially adopted the slogan "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down" in hopes to keep the water bill down.
All parking ticket fines will be doubled as of Monday, April 9th and those funds will go directly into all the athletic coaches' raises.
In order to save on the internet bill, UNH will also be blocking all adult websites, including pornography and Reddit, because that is estimated to reduce internet usage by approximately 78% campus wide.
Lastly, all tuition (and other various payments) made online to UNH will now have a $25 "convenience charge," because fuck you.
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