Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Like a Pro: Applying my Knowledge

One thing I've learned to do really well as a liberal arts student at UNH is analyze pieces of literature or history and draw connections between them. Seeing that I am graduating in just a few short months, let's see if I can apply this extremely useful skill. To make it easily relatable, I have decided to take major pieces of literature and pop culture, such as popular books, movies and TV shows, and draw connections to my time spent here at UNH.

Let's start off with one of the most important books in the history of American literature, F. Scott Fitzgerald's "The Great Gatsby." This relates to hosting a huge party and ignoring everything around you. The book takes place in the "roaring 20s" which were quickly ended by the Great Depression. In college we party to ignore stuff like exams, essays and presentations. Also, "Gatsby" takes place during prohibition, so one could argue this is similar to hosting a party of underage students.

Next up we have Hunter S. Thompson's "The Rum Diary," and I mean the awesome book and not the crappy movie. I guess the title really says it all: let's get really cheap drinks at the bar and see what happens. Sounds like a solid Tuesday to me.

I can't go any further without mentioning the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, whether it is the books or the movies. This epic adventure is representative of the walk of shame. Just trying to make it across campus without being spotted by the last person you would want to see you. Sometimes the invisibility ring would be very useful.

Next, there is the TV show "Lost," which may relate to your thought process during the Lord of the Rings following a night of "The Rum Diary." "Lost" is simply trying to figure out what happened the previous night. What are these numbers on my hand? Is it just her phone number or something bigger?

Dante's Inferno – OK, I haven't actually read this. I just wanted to sound smart.

Many college students go through some sort of environmental phase and this is when "The Lorax" comes into play. Also, if you have never taken NR 435 with Professor Bill Mautz than you are missing out on a great reading of this Dr. Seuss classic. That was one of the most memorable individual classes in my UNH career.

The day for your big presentation has finally come, but you can't say your name without stuttering or breaking into a cold sweat, much like King George in "The King's Speech." Although, in this case the cold sweat may be brought on by a massive hangover.

"The King's Speech" actually correlates with "The Simpsons." If I may quote Homer J. Simpson from episode number 171 ("Homer vs. the 18th Amendment"): "To alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." Would you have stuttered and sweated if you weren't hung over? Probably not, but hey, there is a bottle of cheap vodka in your room to help you forget about messing up so badly.

Of course, not all of these have to relate to alcohol, so how about the TV show "Arrested Development" and that 35-year-old career graduate student in your Intro to Geography class? Sometimes I have to bite my lip to not call him Buster even though it's not his real name. Or you can be an extreme alcoholic like Lucille. So yes, pretty much all of these relate to alcohol.

The Catcher In The Rye – You're all a bunch of phonies!

It's time for a childhood throwback with the cartoon movie "The Brave Little Toaster." If you have ever seen this movie you will recall the terrifying junkyard scene. This represents my apartment. We almost got a health code violation and we did not even know that was possible. It's not our fault we recycle a ton, but don't take it out enough … OK, yes, that is completely our fault.

And finally, the ultimate show for drawing out connections to real life, "Seinfeld." The connections really are endless with this show, so let's just call that one evil professor who was way too strict and unforgiving "The Soup Nazi." You were in the hospital with your sick grandmother? No extension for you!

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Anyone recognize these fools?


This is a sketch of the two suspects in the stabbing incident that took place near Adams Tower this past weekend. Usually when stuff like this happens it turns out that the suspects are not UNH students, but you never know. Hopefully something turns up because violent students are the last thing we need on campus. You can say what you want about past assaults and whether or not the victims started it, any violence is too much.

I think it is safe to say that the victims in this case are not enjoying "UNH's Greatest Semester Ever" so if you know anything or think you recognize these fools please contact the UNH police.

Friday, January 27, 2012

"He's no Tom Brady" said the Fireman

Last night my roommates and I were out at the bars and around 10:30 or so we start getting texts from friends asking us what is going on and if we are okay. Sprinklers were going off in Gables North Tower and people thought it might have been our room. It was actually two floors directly above our room. Inside a fifth floor apartment a kid hit the sprinkler with a football and water flooded their room.

As we got back to our room a fireman was outside our door with a wet-vac and asked if we had any damage. There was none that we could tell of immediately.

Just a few minutes ago housing came to our room to check for water damage and it turns out a few of our walls need to be torn down and rebuilt to avoid future mold problems and that such. Apparently the room above us was so bad that those students had to move into the regular dorms, so we actually lucked out a little. But seriously, what is up with Gables North this year? First a fire and now this.

In other news, you all probably know by now that SCOPE got J Cole, but soon to be announced the Whittemore Center has also booked the indie folk rock group The Avett Brothers, which I am very excited for. The show is April 17th.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

UNH's Greatest Semester Ever

Things like Tuesday Boozeday are what make college great. People like @PrezHuddleston and myself are also great (I'm not being conceited because it's a fact.) When great people are about to leave great places we have to go out with a bang. That is why this is going to be UNH's Greatest Semester Ever. @PrezHuddleston tweeted it first, but I couldn't agree more:



In short, we are both graduating in May and unlike Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart, PHudd and I are coordinating. I can't say too much about it now (partly because we are still figuring out what exactly we are doing), but it will only help make UNH's Greatest Semester Ever even better.

So how do we go about making it UNH's Greatest Semester Ever? We have as much fun as possible, take chances, toss up a Hail Mary and if we're lucky, I'll get to scream, and I'm quoting the late great Warren Zevon, "Send lawyers, guns and money! The shit has hit the fan!" and actually mean it.

To put it simply, I'm going with the Brain Scalabrine ideology. Scal always makes the most of his minutes when he finally gets on the court. He jacks up deep threes, dives for loose balls and runs his ass off. All hustle, grit and determination. It may not be pretty, but his effort is his best attribute.

Together, we can make this UNH's Great Semester Ever. (On twitter I will be using the hashtag #UNHsGreatestSemesterEver frequently to update on my greatness.)

One last thing, you know what is not great? Libby's advertising $2 pitchers from 8-10, but then not starting the deal until 9. Not cool Libby's. Knot cool. (See what I did there? I went to the Knot instead).

UNH's Greatest Semester Ever posts and updates also have a different sign-off. Because I don't plan on being exactly "classy" with all of my actions relating to this goal. So I leave you with my slogan for the semester:

Scalabrine for Three!

PS: The project between @PrezHuddleston and I has nothing to do with me being a drunken asshole. That is all my own doing.
PPS: Go to the basketball game tonight at 7!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

White Out Lundy


Wednesday night is the annual "White Out Lundy" Men's Basketball game verse Maine. UNH basketball doesn't get much attention, but this is always a nice way to show support for the team and school. As you can see above 700 t-shirts will be given away to students and if you even think about taking one and leaving before the game then you are a selfish asshole and Gnarlz will eat you. Alive.

Please try to make it out because Lundholm is not a big gym so having a large student crowd really can make a huge home court advantage. The team has had an up and down season, but by beating Vermont and losing by only two against Boston University, UNH has shown they can compete with anyone in America East. Hopefully I'll see many of you there. Wear white, be loud and show Maine that we can kick their ass in any sport.

I also wanted to take a moment to recap some stuff from over winter break. I know many people don't check the blog while we're away from school and I don't post much, so I thought I'd link up and summarize a few of the posts.

First, I wrote up a Christmas UNH wishlist to fix all of our problems. No one was safe from a bad joke or two.

We also had a freshmen show some interest in writing for the blog. I'm still working out some details with him. In short, I offered him a chance to post once a week or every couple, but he is still figuring out what exactly he is willing to do and all that.

For all you alcoholics out there, I made my own personal power hour mix because I had nothing better to do. Check it out if your interested in a fun pregame and an interesting mix of tunes and genres.

I helped the Meathouse and Redhook Brewery promote their Polar Grill Fest, but I have already ended my ticket giveaway contest. (I needed enough time to contact the winners and mail the tickets if necessary.) However, it is this Saturday and tickets are still available. It's for a great cause so check it out!

And finally, I wrote a preview of the final stretch of games for the men's hockey team. This was written before the Merrimack series so it is not completely up to date.

Regular blogging will resume tomorrow so check back and have a great semester!

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Monday, January 23, 2012

A toast to my final semester

UNH Class of 2012, we've been through quite a lot together and as I sit here the day before my last semester of college starts I can't help but be a little retrospective and even a little sentimental. With three and a half years down and one semester left, let's make this one last and make it the best one yet. So let us raise our glasses in the air and in the immortal words of Katy Perry let us "own the night like the 4th of July."

 It's been three and a half years of late nights in the library, cram sessions, the worst best ideas ever (and the best worst ideas ever). It's been three and a half years of drunken adventures, awkward moments and hilarious stories. It's been three and a half years of hungover Friday morning classes, bad decisions and dreading 8 a.m. classes. It's been three and a half years of "that was the best night ever!", insane parties and having to read your texts to figure out what actually happened the night before.

To put it simply, it's been three and a half years that I will never forget, even if there are a few nights I can't remember. And I wouldn't want to change a thing. These three and a half years have been amazing, but let us turn it up to 11 for this final semester. In case you're wondering, 11 is one louder.

I intend to make this the best four months of the best four years of my life (so far). In his philosophical song "Beer Run" Todd Snider proclaims that the "road goes on forever and the party never ends." (Side note: Snider actually borrows this line from and references Robert Earle Keen.) Well, college does eventually end and if college is one big party, then the party must come to end. But I am not going to dwell on the past or fear the future. The moment is now.  Have fun, because in a few months the "real world" is going to hit us harder than Vince Wilfork and it is going to suck worse than Billy Cundiff. (Relevant!)

So UNH, and especially my fellow 2012ers, let us go out in a bang. And if you're worried about your grades slipping, the world is going to end in December anyways so who cares. Don't let the party suck, and let yourself live!

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Tell Congress that you oppose SOPA and PIPA



Censoring the Internet prevents knowledge from spreading and it prevents free knowledge in general, something that many people take for granted. You can make a difference by signing Google's "End Piracy, not Liberty" petition. Do yourself, and the country a favor, by taking 30 seconds to sign the petition. Censorship is wrong and it hurts business, industry and education.

Although, do people really think that they would censor the internet in America? I mean how dumb would Congress be to ██ █████ ██ ████ ██ ████ ██████ ██ ███████████ ██ and ██████ ██ ████ ██. Also, did it ever occur to you that ███████ ██ ████ ███ ████ ██? It's just ridiculous to think that could happen. You know what I mean?

Monday, January 16, 2012

I (still) Believe


Move over "Tebowing" because "Mosesing" has arrived.

Where UNH Stands:
The UNH men's hockey has found itself in unfamiliar territory. Towards the bottom of Hockey East looking up. At the moment the team sits at 8-11-2, which puts them at eighth in Hockey East, with just 13 games remaining to be played. Eight teams qualify for the Hockey East playoffs and the winner of that tournament receives an automatic bid to the national tournament. UNH has the second longest streak in the country for consecutive national tournament appearances and that streak will most likely end unless they win the Hockey East tournament. The national tournament has 16 teams qualify and the last teams in are usually a few games over the .500 mark depending on the automatic bids. 

Out of UNH's final 13 games, the next four will see their toughest competition. This weekend UNH plays a home and home series (meaning one game at both schools) with Merrimack, who sits in 3rd in Hockey East and 7th nationally. Next weekend UNH plays another home and home, this time against Boston College who is in 2nd in Hockey East (technically tied with BU for 1st , but with one more game played) and is 4th in the national rankings. While those games will be a huge four game stretch to determine UNH's talent and mental toughness, the remaining nine games will be even more important when it comes to the seeding for the Hockey East tournament.

Of those nine games, UNH plays Providence twice (a home and home series), Vermont twice (both home) and UMass twice (both away) with single games against Northeastern (home), a third game with Merrimack (away) and finally Maine (away). Northeastern and Vermont are currently the only two teams behind UNH in Hockey East. In their previous meetings UNH has split with Northeasten (a 4-0 loss and a 5-2 win) and tied Vermont 4-4 in Burlington. Those will be three very important games that UNH desperately needs to win as the favorite, especially with all three being played at the Whit, where UNH has played better than on the road. The series with Providence will also be huge. UNH won in Providence last week 1-0, ending a 5 game losing streak (the longest in Coach Umile's tenure). Providence is a surprising 5th in Hockey East, but they could very well drop as the season comes to a close. 

The UMass series could have the single biggest impact for UNH heading into post season play. UMass sits directly above UNH in Hockey East, but the Minutemen are only ahead of UNH by a single point. In their only meeting this year UNH beat UMass 7-3 at the Whit, which was followed by a win over Maine and marked the last time UNH won consecutive games until their wins over Providence and Dartmouth these last few days. 

What Needs to Happen? 
For UNH to make a strong push heading into the Hockey East playoffs, a few things need to happen. 
  • First of all, they are not in a spot to lose games they are supposed to win. They currently sit in the final playoff spot with only a point on Northeastern (with a game in hand), but are six points up on Vermont (also with a game in hand). Vermont is all but done, which makes those four points very valuable to UNH when UVM comes to Durham in February. That being said, UNH needs to play tough over the next four games, to keep their confidence up and not play down to the level of their opponents in the games that follow.
  • Secondly, Stevie Moses has to stay hot. Red Hot. Parting the Red Sea Red Hot. The alternate captain has five goals in their last two games (both wins) and he needs to have the hot hand for UNH to make things interesting. Everyone knows Moses is fast, but he has developed a great shot and can beat defenders in many ways.
  • However, Moses can't do it all. Players like John Henrion, Kevin Goumas and Nick Sorkin need to keep scoring as well to keep some of the attention off Moses. Those four have been solid of late, but someone else will need to step up. Freshman Grayson Downing has shown signs of his scoring touch, but upperclassmen like Greg Burke or Austin Block need to produce more consistently. Burke had a bit of a hot streak going, but has been held pointless for a few games now. 
  • Casey DeSmith needs to play like a veteran. DeSmith, a true freshman, has replaced struggling senior Matt Digirolamo in net and has exceeded expectations. DeSmith needs to have ice in his veins down the stretch because with high powered teams like Merrimack and BC coming to town he can't let his confidence be hurt when UNH plays lesser opponents.
  • Defense, defense, defense. It's been the ugly of the ugly for UNH all year and it is the team's number one aspect that has to improve. Junior Brett Kostolansky, who started as a freshman, is currently skating at -10. Someone with his experience needs to be more effective.
  • Will another freshman please stand up? Aforementioned DeSmith and Downing have been excellent at times this year, but another freshman (or more) may need to take on a bigger role down the stretch. TvR has been very solid from the blueline (also chipping in 12 points) and is second on the team with a +7. I'm looking for players like Casey Thrush (9 points and a team high +8) or Jay Camper to have a bigger impact down the stretch. 
The season ain't over 'till the fat lady sings and with 13 conference games remaining anything can happen. I believe in UNH. And anything really can happen: 





Stay classy not UMassy... and keep believing in UNH.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Win Tickets to Polar Grill Fest: Food, Beer and Live Music!

 (click image to enlarge)

On Saturday January 28th, The Meat House is teaming up with the Redhook Brewery and other local companies to host Polar Grill Fest, an outdoor winter-themed party. The event is to help raise money for Share Our Strength® through its No Kid Hungry® Campaign, which is seeking to end childhood hunger in America by 2015. All proceeds from the event will benefit this campaign.

The Polar Grill Fest is a 21+ party featuring Meat House Steak tips and Redhook Beer and tickets are only $5! Even better, the Meat House is sending me four tickets to giveaway to UNH students! The tickets only cover the entrance fee. Food plates and beer are an additional $5 each (but remember, all of the proceeds go to charity and there is a lot of food per plate!) All you have to do is message/@reply me on twitter (@UNHblog) or email me (unhblog@yahoo.com) and tell me what your favorite part of winter at UNH is and I will select winners from my favorite responses and send the tickets your way. If you choose email, please use your UNH account so I can verify that you are a student.

 Live music will be provided by local bands including the Pete Kilpatrick Band and Larry and The Birds. The event lasts from 1PM to 5PM so show up hungry, thirsty and ready to have a great time. It should be a great party to kick off the new semester and it is for a good cause. I look forward to hearing your responses!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Should I let this freshmen write for the blog?

The following is an email I got from a UNH freshmen. My question to you is, should I let him to write for the blog next semester? My gut says yes.

Dear New Hampshirite,
I have been reading your blog since the end of the summer. I came across it while trying to prepare myself for life at UNH. You see, in high school I was a bit of a one man wolf pack... scratch that, I was a one man wolf pack. My three best friends were:
  • my parent's netflix account
  • my xbox 360
  •  and good ole' lefty
When I got accepted to UNH, I wanted to change that. I never had a girl friend. I never tasted alcohol and I always made lame excuses as to why I missed parties.  Basically, if my high school life was a box a chocolates, that box would be filled with all the shitty flavors everyone spits out. After one semester of college, not much has changed. Sure I've gotten drunk a few times (exactly 3) with kids on my floor, but that's about it. I want to change all that and start fresh next semester and I would like to chronicle my attempts anonymously here on this blog. It should be awkward and hopefully fun. So what do you say? I feel like if you would let me do this, I would feel 100% obligated to leave my room on Friday and Saturday nights and see what UNH really has to offer outside the classroom. A few kids on my floor have offered to take me out at before, but I always declined. I don't want to decline anymore. I wouldn't write more than once a week - if that, just recaps of different experiences and stuff like that. What do you think?


When I first read this email, I immediately thought of this Seinfeld clip. (Embedding is disabled for it.) Basically what it says is this isn't the prototypical person I would have write on the blog, but he has the ambition to become one. We can see this young man develop into a true Wildcat, or at least awkwardly try. What do you say Nonsensical Nation, should we give him a chance?  (Just so you know, this is not a fake. He used his UNH email and I found him on facebook to check that he is a freshman. Yes, even I do background checks when receiving applications.)

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

The New Hampshirite's Official Power Hour

Yesterday afternoon I had some time to kill so I decided to throw together a power hour mix, combining some of my favorite songs with more popular stuff. I covered a bunch of genres from hip-hop to dance to country and rock. I really made it for my roommates and close friends so many of the songs are stuff we have jokes or memories about, but I figured I throw it up on the blog.

Power hours are simple. Every minute the song changes and when it does you drink. (Usually a shot of beer. It may start slow, but by the end you'll b pretty buzzed and singing along.) Not every cut is exactly a minute, but they are within a few seconds so it balances out. I let the last song play through because it is our apartment's tradition to play it at midnight at every party we host. Let me know what you think and maybe I'll do more. Most people won't like every song, but there should be something for everyone. Plus, even the worse songs only play for a minute. Enjoy.

video