Monday, April 30, 2012

Why give?

For the past few weeks, @PrezHuddleston, @GTK18 (of college freshman fame) and I have been helping promote the senior gift. Why? Because we thought it would be nice to use our "fame" to give back to the university that has done so much for us.

The thing that I hear the most from other seniors is: "Why would I give them anymore money? I already pay a tuition that is probably too high and I'm graduating so I won't even benefit."

First of all, nice attitude, asshole.

Secondly, how many of you (yes, you the 18-22 year old student) actually pays the full cost of tuition without any help? No help from your parents, grants, loans or scholarships? Maybe one or two of you? How many pay the full price with some help, maybe a few thousand in loans or a wealthy and kind aunt or grandparent? Gee, that's awful nice of them. Helping to pay for your education where they wouldn't benefit.

This year's senior gift will  go to the rec center to help pay for new equipment or future expansions. Sure, it may not benefit you, but did you know the rec center used to be the hockey arena before the Whit? And the Whit was built through fundraising and donations? And not long ago the student gym was a "classroom" in the field house?

I didn't realize that we all paid future donations to help built the Whit and the rec center we have today... oh wait, no we didn't. It came from fundraising efforts and alumni donations.

Sure, students don't have a lot of money to give. Believe me, I'll be happy if I can still afford a 40 or two the night of graduation, but I still gave my $5. I gave my five dollars because UNH has done so much for me. I gave my five dollars because I'm not paying for my tuition all on my own, someone (my parents) are helping out quite a lot. I gave my five dollars because UNH students before me donated and that's why I've been able to enjoy my time at UNH so much. Five dollars is not a lot, but it still felt right to give.

If you're a super competitive type, 153 UNH seniors have already donated verses 143 at UMass and they have a much bigger student body than us. Let's kick their ass one final time.

Donate very easily right here. 
(You do not have to be a senior to give. So non-graduates you can see improvements for the gym while you're still here!)

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Survey Results

A few weeks ago I created a short survey (it's still open) about this blog to get a sense of what people like and don't like about this site. I thought it would be a nice way to better understand my readers and hopefully give me ideas and feedback for future writing projects. I thought it would be nice to share and respond to some of the results. This may seem long, but it should actually be entertaining and a quick read.

Out of the 68 people who took the survey:
  • 42 were female
  • 50 were current students
  • 9 were alumni
  • 9 were faculty staff (and another was a "staff spouse")
  • Ages varied from 18 to 52 (core 19-22)
  • Most people check it "a few times a week" (which means the amount people who read it is higher than my daily page views)
Here are some responses to the question: "What is your favorite part of UNH Blog?" (With my responses italicized)
  • You posts are generally entertaining, and I feel like the news is more 'honest' than may be portrayed in TNH
  • Your sarcasm towards certain UNH services (cough cough Dining) I also follow you on Twitter and find out a lot of what is going on through you (Wait, someone gets that I use sarcasm?!)
  • Tirades that remind me of my youth. Very important to you at a moment in time, not so much in the big picture. It's a lot of fun to read. (Wait, drinking cheap liquor and acting like a fool isn't important?!)
  • I love the New Hampshirite's insights into the workings of UNH and some of the different aspects that he comments on (dining, police, hockey, greek life, etc). I almost always laugh when I read this blog and I think it's a very funny, accurate portrayal of college life here at UNH and I'm actually really sad you're graduating. (It's just allergies, I'm not crying I swear).
  • articles for the TNH (The TNH...)
  • you are. I want to meet you. Im in love with you. Even if youre straight. I just want you so bad. want a bj? (No, thank you...?)
  • I think it's a great way to find out what's going on around school without having to rely on tnh. i feel like the blog has more about what the students actually care about. And with twitter, information is passed along pretty much instantly so we know what's going on, on campus. It's how I've gotten a great deal of information over the past couple of year
  • The hilarious posts about stuff like Cabinet Kid's shenanigans (Those posts write themselves, but sadly he's toned it down this year...)
  • Other general comments: Funny, honesty, realistic, represents student life well etc.
Here are some responses to "what is your least favorite part of"
  • references to over the top excessive drinking (Thanks, mom.)
  • It's not a pill that makes me bigger, stronger & faster. Also, I have a feeling it's not bear-proof... (I'm working on this one...)
  • Low frequency of posting, but I know you're busy (Second semester senior... senioritus is more than just school work... also, I feel like this semester has been pretty uneventful UNH news wise.)
  • That it exists. (Thanks for reading. Douche.)
  • dreaming about you fucking me after I read you, daily. (Apparently, I have not used this blog to its full potential.)
  • Not to be completely naive, because I know a lot of students do, but not every student drinks or drinks heavily (You're right. Only the cools ones do...)
  • the union leader rants are getting a little old. not saying i don't agree... but i get, you don't like it. (Ahem: Fuck the Union Leader.)
  • Complaints about UNH dining. Once you get into the real world, you'll miss the dining hall. (Yeah, I'm really gonna miss diarrhea, soggy sandwiches, and not being able to find salt.)
  • Ads. (Fucking anti-corporate liberal bastard!)
  • Other general complaints: Not updated enough, didn't like any guest writers, want more guest writers, should get a female blogger, didn't like the female blogger you had, I miss the female blogger, that you're graduating... (A lot of favorites/least favorites cancelled each other out like drinking stories and guest writers. Guess that means it is actually balanced).

Responses to "ways to improve the blog":
  • Include a campus map which shows all of the social area where people party. (You're doing it wrong.)
  • get deep and personal, spill your soul all over my screen. (Stalker level: 99)
  • Your tagline is Stay Classy, Not UMassy -which I really like. but many of your comments and behavior around alcohol are not too classy. I am not at all opposed to having fun on the weekends, but you seem to have no perspective on your attitude around drinking. (Do people not realize the tagline is part of the joke?)
  • don't let us graduate (I wish...)
  • General feedback here: More pictures, posts, videos, interviews etc...
Responses to "other general feedback, suggestions, comments or questions?"
  • get laid more and write about that (Go read Barstool)
  • Your awesome! PARTY WITH SLUTS! (Not having herpes is going really well for me right now.)
  • Fuck me. (I'm sensing a theme here...)
  • i feel like i'd like you as a person, good job (I probably wouldn't like you.... just kidding).
  • Other general feedback: good job, keep it going, find a successor, don't give it to a dumb kid...
 Overall, I just want to say thank you to everyone who took the survey (despite what I posted above, I got a lot of great feedback.) I feel sorry to say this, but I will not be passing the blog on. I'll explain this in full detail in another post, but it has to do with personal issues. Also I think someone will come along and create their own work for future UNH generations.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Some advice to the lucky ones who aren't graduating...

In less than one month I will be graduating, but most of you reading this will have at least another year or more here at UNH. I have experienced a lot of different things during my time here and I think it would be only fair to use one of my last columns to share some helpful advice with you all.

I know what you might be thinking, “Why would we want to take advice from a buffoon of a student who may or may not drink too much.” Well first of all, it is not a drinking problem until you graduate, so the joke is on you. Secondly, and if you have not figured this out by now you may need some language comprehension classes, but a lot of what I have written over the years is in character, sarcastic and satire. Well, other than the whole drinking stuff. That part is real. Anyways, here is some of what I think is the best advice I have to offer.

If a professor ever tells you, “This is not a paper/assignment/project that you can complete the night before it’s due” they are wrong. Just about any assignment can be completed in “A” fashion the night and/or early morning before it is due. Just do not make a habit of it or you may develop insomnia. I cannot tell you how many times I turned in a paper literally still warm from being freshly printed.

Try something new. Scratch that; try as many news things as you possibly can. I never expected to write a blog or a newspaper column, and I think that this turned out pretty well for me. Do not limit yourself to your comfort zone. I know a lot of people will say this about college, but I feel so many students still never step outside their regular routines.

Try to dedicate one night or weekend a year to become your personal ultimate college story. Everyone needs to graduate with his or her one go-to story to share to close friends for the future. This does not need to be a party or drinking story, rather it should be something that would be unusual for your lifestyle.

Study abroad for a semester. Even doing one of the shorter summer or J-term trips would be worth the experience and it is much cheaper than traveling on your own. Not studying abroad for a semester is probably my biggest regret about college. I have many friends who took advantage of the opportunity and I know they are happy that they did. However, I would not recommend doing it second semester senior year because you are going to want to be in Durham with all of your closest friends for your last few months of college.

Similar to the last one, another regret of mine is that I never took a big road trip with a group of friends for spring break, winter break or the summer. Sure, I took weekend trips to other colleges, but I would have loved to take some type of road trip with my roommates.

Try to pile up at least one or two minors. I will be graduating with three unfinished minors, in political science, English writing and communications because I could never make up my mind or commit to anything. I took more classes for my major than I needed, but part of that was that there were so many interesting ones, I could not resist.

This one comes directly from personal experience, but I think it is something everyone should do. Write on your own, outside of classes. I do not mean to keep a journal or diary or to write personal essays or poems. Just write. Keep track of funny things that happen to you or things you see, write down ideas, thoughts or future goals. It will help you stay organized, clear your mind and actually help reduce stress. Take 10 or 15 minutes just to write, think and clear your mind. It will pay off when it comes to studying or writing an essay because it will help you focus on the task at hand.

Finally, when you are in my position and preparing to graduate, make sure that you have as little regrets as possible. Make your own personal college bucket list because you will be able to do things in college that you will never be able to experience again. This may seem pretty cliché, but it is true. Enjoy your time here, because it really does go by faster than you expect.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Senior Gift

I had the pleasure of working with UNH video services, @PrezHuddleston, Griffin (Meme Guy @GTK18 on twitter) and the wonderful folks from the alumni association in brainstorming the idea for this video. I kinda took a back seat throughout the process and was really involved to help promote the senior gift, but it was really neat to see how UNH video services works from start to finish. Please help out with the senior gift. It really is a great way to give back and make UNH better for future students. Donate your $5 (or whatever you want) today, I already did and it is super easy.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Vote! Everybody Vote!

Yesterday just got the following reader email:

Saw UNH's Tweet about student elections, and on a lark decided to see if my old account is still active. I graduated 3 years ago, but I can still get into Blackboard (not my UNH email though).
Turns out that even though I'm not a current student. I can still vote. Screen shots added. 
Don't worry, I didn't vote for any of the real candidates. Just my favorite perpetual write-ins.

Well it appears as though at least semi-recent alumni are still able to vote in the student body elections. Maybe UNH did this on purpose to help get more than just a few hundred votes. Last year I endorsed myself at the last minute as a small form of protest because the student body president has never really accomplished anything noteworthy during my time here. TNH endorsed a candidate, but I think a few votes for good ole' New Hampshirite could really do this campus some good. Who knows, with enough votes cast my way, maybe I'll stick around next year...

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Zombies at UNH

There is one thing I have noticed during my time at UNH that many college students seem to be addicted to, and no, it is not alcohol. It is not drugs, partying or studying, either. It is zombies. Now before you get on my back, yes I know zombies aren’t for everyone. Not everyone likes zombies, so I don’t want to give you all a bad name.

Others may think that zombies are a thing of the past and vampires are the new zombies. First of all, if you think that, I don’t want to live on this planet anymore. Zombies are, always have been and always will be, the greatest Sci-Fi monsters of all time. (Unless you considered the velociraptors depicted in Jurassic Park, even though they weren’t accurately portrayed, but that is neither here nor there.) Vampires have been tarnished by the book and movie series that shall not be named.

But with the huge success of the TV series “The Walking Dead,” zombies have been restored to their rightful place among the most terrifying, awesome and even comical monsters. A good zombie story has everything you need: a widespread pandemic, gore, hero characters, characters you want to see suffer and usually a comical death or zombie killing sequence. (Think “Shaun of the Dead” for that one.)

Anyways, this got me thinking: if the zombie apocalypse actually does happen, what would be the best chance to survive here at UNH? Let’s say in a hypothetical situation that the breakout began in one of the science buildings (how about Gregg Hall, because no one knows what actually goes on there) and UNH was barricaded from the rest of the world so no one could get out.

Option one: Barricade yourself inside your dorm room. Sure you’ll be safe for a short while, but soon the isolation will set in. Maybe you are lucky enough that your roommate is there or you can stay in contact with your neighbors, but then you run out of food. Game over.

Option two: Barricade yourself inside the DUMP like in Stephen King’s “The Mist.” You will have plenty of food to stay alive, people to stay in contact with, and beer to help pass the time. But there is always that one person who goes insane way too fast and ruins it for everyone by leaving and not locking the back door. If you’re lucky, you make it out, but where do you go from there?

Option three: Join the mass relief center put up at the Whit or Rec Center. Food, shelter and other people all seem good, but somehow the outbreak has breached the doors. Someone inside was bitten earlier and kept it a secret. This always happens.

Option four: Thompson Hall clock tower. This seems like a good idea at first, but when the zombies break in you have nowhere to run.

Option five: You decide to get adventurous and decide to explore the tunnel that runs underneath Spaulding only to find a secret lab where there is a crazy professor testing cures for the zombies. It seems safe at first, but you soon realize he is out of his mind and is a danger for other reasons. If you’re lucky, you escape to the tunnels rumored to be under Main Street. You try to follow them out of town, but they are blocked off as well.

Option six: You decide to Jeremiah-Johnson-it out in College Woods. You live off of the wildlife and build a nice fort, and it seems like you will outlast the outbreak by living off the land. But you stumble across a commune where the hippies are trying to live in peace with the zombies. They’re all dead in a few days.

Option seven: You decide to take matters in your own hands by setting a trap for the zombies. You manage to lure them all underneath the stands at Cowell Stadium and by simply removing one keystone beam, the entire stadium collapses crushing all the zombies and leaving you the hero.

Plot twist! It wasn’t actually a zombie outbreak; it was just a massive walk of shame that took place on a quiet Sunday morning.

Stay classy, not UMassy

Thursday, April 12, 2012

President Huddleston. I like this guy.

Earlier this morning I sent a twit pic of that cop car parked next to a "No vehicles" sign to President Huddleston. This is how he replied:

Huddleston for the win.

UNH's finest at their best...

Hat tip to Derek for finding this beauty of a picture. As well all know, the rules only apply to the students and as the emailer put it "Maybe they were just doing that so those new paint jobs with the fierce logo could scare away other cars!" You'd think with all their segways the cops on campus wouldn't have to be this lazy. Where is UNH parking services when you need them? Ticket this vehicle, this is easily worth a $75 violation. Where is the justice? Are not all men created equal and therefore we deserve to be treated the same under the law? But what if the law enforcement doesn't follow their own rules? Chaos! Anarchy!

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Will You Hire Me?

Hey you. Yeah, you there. The one reading this right now. Will you hire me? Before you answer, let me tell you a little bit about myself, the world I live in, my college career and a few things I think I think. Hey, shut up and listen, I’m the one writing this, not you.

This interview is going great.

Every time I turn on the TV to a 24-hour news channel, I basically hear the same thing: jobs, economy, jobs, jobs, economy, gas prices, jobs, unemployment, jobs, economy, OIL!, jobs, economy, jobs, jobs. I think that just about covers it.

And here I am, just over a month away from graduating college with a degree in history and a concentration in modern America, and from what I have been told, apparently there are no jobs. Absolutely nothing. Zero. No possible jobs for anyone.

One of the major issues of the current presidential election is the American economy and the different possibilities to “fix it.” In fact, it could be the deciding factor for the entire election. Will the millionaire with the Harvard degree win or the other millionaire with the Harvard degree win? Let’s face it, the contraceptive crusader does not really stand a chance.

Sorry, I got slightly off track there. Where was I? Oh right, jobs, especially the part about me not having one and having no chance at finding one. Let me present to you, my potential future employer, a brief résumé:

High school graduate? Check. College degree? Check (well, I got this pretty much locked up). Former jobs: miniature golf and ice cream cashier, camp counselor (summer and baseball), and landscaping. Other notable things: student-athlete award winner in high school, will graduate college with honors, National History Honors Society member (Phi Alpha Theta), blogger extraordinaire, three-year columnist for college paper, and I have almost 1,500 followers on Twitter. That’s impressive, right?

Okay, now let me move on to jobs that I think I might actually be qualified to perform:

History researcher. Is this an actual job? Because I am actually pretty good at that, you know, finding interesting articles about things that happened by using online databases. Hey Steven Spielberg, let me fact check your next period film. Sweet, thanks.

History teacher. I know some stuff about American history. Enough to write solid papers and earn good grades, and I’m pretty sure I can create a solid course curriculum. Although, I never did take any education courses at UNH, because I think you can pretty much get teenagers to believe anything you want if you tell them the right way.

Although, I feel like I’d be the type of teacher who would be punished because helicopter parents would complain about me teaching their son or daughter that Christopher Columbus might not have been such a good guy after all.

So, where do I go from here? I mean there really have to be some jobs out there somewhere? Right? I heard that there is a place where the jobs multiply like baby rabbits in the springtime and there are no evil hawks to eat them up. Some say that this job utopia is just a myth. Others swear to have seen it or even been there before. I’m not sure what I believe, but I do know that I will never give up.

There is the old saying, “you have to spend money to make money.” But what if I don’t have any money to spend in the first place in order to make more money back in return? This whole college thing, with the mandatory fees and textbook prices and weekend benders has kind of dried up the old bank account.

I am only 22 years old, but I am ready for the inevitable job hunt in front of me. It will not be easy; it will take blood, sweat and tears, but I will not perish without a fight. The last of the jobs have not dried up, you just have to know where to look. The American dream is still possible; it just is not the same American dream of the generations before us.

I mean come on, with self-motivation like that who wouldn’t want to hire me? So, I will ask you one more time. Will you hire me? Please? Because my parents are going to be pissed if I don’t find a job real soon.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Yup. We really are graduating.

So you may remember a while back how I hinted that @PrezHuddleston and I were working behind the scenes with each other on a project. Well, it ended up going in a slightly different direction then we anticipated, but it is actually much better this way.

Here is how it went down. I wrote a column last semester about what the senior gift should be. Although, it was mostly in a sarcastic manner. Pretty much I just didn't want it to go to the business school (because that only helps a small percentage of campus) and I didn't want it to be a bench or something. Anyways, Prez tweets me saying that he's on board for trying to do something bigger (a video screen at the Whit would be in the 1-2 million range, it will not happen) and that he knows who I am. I then realized I also know who he is and we've know each other for a while now.

Long story short, we bounced ideas around, but then got in touch with the alumni department and decided that we would help them promote the senior gift using our followings. Through the help of a few focus groups they decided that giving the money to the rec center (to immediately add equipment or for future expansion) would be the best use of the senior gift money. Usually the senior gift money just goes into a generic UNH fund for whatever needs money (from painting rooms to sidewalk repair etc).

So how do @PrezHuddleston and I fit in with all of this? Basically, if we get 50% to donate (even just $5) PHudd will reveal himself at the lobster back. I'm being used for educational and promotional purposes. (Basically UNH knows that students don't check their websites, but they do follow me and Prez much more closely.)

Here's how I come in: Basically UNH has a terrible history of raising a senior gift fund and our alumni donations are terrible. In the past they have asked the class to donate their graduating year in money. For example last year they asked students to donate $20.11. Guess what? 35 friggin' people donated and about half of it was staff. I think we can beat 35 people. UMass historical raises a ton of money through donations. We're classy, so I think we can get 50%.

Stay tuned, there will also be a video and more featuring PrezHuddleston and the real Huddleston and other special guests (I declined a role in the video because I'm still working on my own plans). Also, you don't have to be a senior to give.

Underclassmen, remember, the gym is going to benefit you. Not too long ago the student gym was a small classroom in the Field House, imagine what it could become.

We've worked to make the donation process very simple and I really hope we can make this work.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Here, have a sticker.

I wrote the following rant in my notebook during a class today and it is something I have thought for a while now. Maybe it is because I'm an upperclassmen and I find myself in classes with younger students who haven't experienced all the feedback and constructive criticisms I have, but sometimes I can't help but become frustrated while sitting in a class discussion. So, I will write what I dislike about discussions and offer some advice that will hopefully help you. I am actually pretty shy, I usually don't like participating too much, so I know what it is like. Maybe this can help you.

I have a small bone to pick with how some students perform in classes with a dedicated discussion time. Participating in a college class discussion is not merely repeating what the professor said during the previous lecture. This is not high school, middle school or even elementary school for that matter. You are not supposed to copy you teacher's statements, it is not a game of Simon Says, it is supposed to be a mind stimulating exercise. What are you proving to everyone when you simply repeat a point the professor, or even another student has made? How good of a listener you are? Here, have a smiley sticker.

Please note that there is a difference between when a professor calls on you in search of a specific answer and an open discussion about a book, article or selected reading.

Also, professors who let students get away with this type of behavior are just as bad, if not worse. They are training brainless, thoughtless and creativity-deprived puppets. A generation that does not think for themselves will not progress and that is a generation lost.

Excellent, you remembered the themes of our previous lecture - have a cookie - but how is that reflected in the reading? Great, you recall the point I made when I introduced this article to you - have a lollipop - but what did you extract from the reading?

Personally, I don't speak a lot in class discussion, but when I do I always try to bring something new to the table. A counterpoint or an alternative viewpoint. I guess what I'm saying is don't waste class or discussion time by repeating something that is already a given, already known by the class and especially if it was already spoken by the professor. Use your brain to think, analyze or critique. Don't be broad, general and safe. That is boring. If you really want to help that discussion and boost your participation points, be creative with you talking points.

Quality, not quantity. Nobody likes a know-it-all, even professors (which is why they will delay and ask if anyone has an idea or thought if the same kid(s) keep raising their hand). Students like that, while knowledgeable (although there is nothing better when they are wrong) generally don't change their discussion methods. Try throwing out a curveball once and a while and you will be rewarded.

That being said, I have been involved in some great discussions where I walk away very happy, but those seem to be rare as of late... and maybe I'm just an old fart now.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

PS: RIP Kurt:

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Dodgeball for Autism

Because I'm a nice guy, I'll post things like this for a good cause when orgs send them to me...

Come join the sisters of Alpha Xi Delta and Dodge For A Cure (<-- facebook event link) to help support our philanthropy, Autism Speaks. Autism affects the brain development of a child, which can then be associated with intellectual disabilities and physical health issues. A child may also develop difficulties in motor coordination. Less than 5% of research funding goes back to Autism yet this disorder affects 1 in every 110 children.

Helping to raise money for this special cause is easy by signing up for our Dodge Ball Tournament. This event will be held on Tuesday, April 10th at the Field House at 7pm. The teams will consist of 6 members each. There will be a $5 general admission fee and 100% of the funding will be donated to the Autism Speaks Foundation. Please contact Shayla Stewart to register a team at

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

So You're Graduating...

UNH commencement is 46 days away and if you’re a second semester senior like me, you are probably having some mixed emotions. Part of me is excited to move on to the next phase of my life, part of me is sad about leaving and part of me is terrified, yet anxious to graduate. Out of everything, I think that the worst part of being a second semester senior is answering the same questions over and over again.

“What are your plans after graduation?” is the most annoying and frustrating question I have ever had to answer in my entire life. Partially because every time I answer it, which seems to be more and more frequent as graduation approaches, I answer it differently.

I know that many of my classmates already have potential jobs and internships lined up and others have already been hired, but not all of us are in that position. Many of us simply do not know what we want to do. How can you answer that question if you don’t even know?

So, I have been devising a scheme over the last few months in which I tailor my answer depending on who had asked me the question.

If it is someone who knows all about me, including my blogging side, I explain how I am looking at a few potential cities in search of writing jobs. Sometimes I may even slip in how my older brother, who majored in screenwriting, and I have a few movie ideas we may even write. This is actually semi-serious.

To other people, like family, I explain how I plan on working for a year before applying for graduate schools where I would study anything from law to politics to secondary education.

Then comes the people that I let myself have a little fun with, and if you are in a similar position to me, I recommend giving a few of these a shot.

One of my favorites, which I usually use on more free thinkers or people with super strict social values (for the shock of course) is explaining how I want to follow one of my favorite bands on a world tour and write about my experiences with the different cultures and how the music is a part of their life. Think of it as an anthropologic, cross-cultural study with a dash of gonzo-journalism thrown in. Using those terms only sweetens the deal. I should add that deep down, that would actually be pretty awesome; I just don’t have the money to make it economically feasible.

If the person who asks the question is technologically disabled and unaware of the musings of the Internet, sometimes I will use that to my advantage.

I may say something like, “Well, I just received a job offer from this web-based company called Reddit. They think I would be great as a researcher/writer and a weekend editor, so I am pretty excited about that potential opportunity.”

Other times, I say something so ridiculous I know that the person won’t be able to quickly think up a follow-up question, so they will awkwardly smile and end the conversation, which is a win in my book. Studying the effects of various illegal narcotics and over-the-counter pharmaceuticals on skateboarding bears usually does the trick.

Another trick to avoid a long conversation is to not allow for any possibility of a follow-up question. For example: “Well, I actually have been interviewed by a specific governmental bureau and will be traveling to a secret location in Nevada in July. I’m sorry, I’ve already said too much.”

Sometimes I get really into the conversation, but avoid talking about my potential career at all. I do this by explaining a huge summer trip in detail so it will distract the person from bringing up jobs again.

Canoeing down the Mississippi, backpacking through Europe, walking across America and other various outdoor adventures usually does the trick just fine.

When all is said and done, I realize that in less than two months I will be done with my undergrad career. Whether I end up in graduate school, freelance writing or studying bear brains, I am going to make the most of these last 46 days.

UNH has prepared me for the real world, but I still have 46 days to spend time with my closest friends and get every last bit of nonsense out of me before I leave Durham.

Stay classy, not UMassy

Sunday, April 1, 2012

UNH Blog: Now 100% More Bearproof

You asked. We listened. Thanks to Hunter S Thompson and Conan, UNH Blog is proud to announce we are now 100% more bearproof. You're welcome.

("Make it more bearproof" was an actual suggestion from the survey.)

Budget cuts beginning to take toll on UNH

The budget cuts for USNH that the state senate approved last year are beginning to take a toll on the UNH campus. Roughly $33 million from UNH's budget was slashed and already dozens of UNH employees have been laid off, labs are on the brink of being shut down and many more fear for their future.

UNH has been looking at ways to help raise more money, especially since the cuts arrived while trying to build a new $50 million business school with barely half the money raised and other buildings remain in poor conditions.

Students have been asked to help out in even the smallest ways. Dorms are implementing new "lights out" policy that requires students to shut of all the lights and electrical devices by 11PM. This will help save on the school's energy bill and will force students to study more during the daylight, which should take away from their free time when illegal activities may occur.

UNH dormitories have also officially adopted the slogan "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down" in hopes to keep the water bill down.

All parking ticket fines will be  doubled as of Monday, April 9th and those funds will go directly into all the athletic coaches' raises.

In order to save on the internet bill, UNH will also be blocking all adult websites, including pornography and Reddit, because that is estimated to reduce internet usage by approximately 78% campus wide.

Lastly, all tuition (and other various payments) made online to UNH will now have a $25 "convenience charge," because fuck you.