Survey Results

A few weeks ago I created a short survey (it's still open) about this blog to get a sense of what people like and don't like about this site. I thought it would be a nice way to better understand my readers and hopefully give me ideas and feedback for future writing projects. I thought it would be nice to share and respond to some of the results. This may seem long, but it should actually be entertaining and a quick read.

Out of the 68 people who took the survey:

• 42 were female
• 50 were current students
• 9 were alumni
• 9 were faculty staff (and another was a "staff spouse")
• Ages varied from 18 to 52 (core 19-22)
• Most people check it "a few times a week" (which means the amount people who read it is higher than my daily page views)

Here are some responses to the question: "What is your favorite part of UNH Blog?" (With my responses italicized)

• You posts are generally entertaining, and I feel like the news is more 'honest' than may be portrayed in TNH
• Your sarcasm towards certain UNH services (cough cough Dining) I also follow you on Twitter and find out a lot of what is going on through you (Wait, someone gets that I use sarcasm?!)
• Tirades that remind me of my youth. Very important to you at a moment in time, not so much in the big picture. It's a lot of fun to read. (Wait, drinking cheap liquor and acting like a fool isn't important?!)
• I love the New Hampshirite's insights into the workings of UNH and some of the different aspects that he comments on (dining, police, hockey, greek life, etc). I almost always laugh when I read this blog and I think it's a very funny, accurate portrayal of college life here at UNH and I'm actually really sad you're graduating. (It's just allergies, I'm not crying I swear).
• articles for the TNH (The TNH...)
• you are. I want to meet you. Im in love with you. Even if youre straight. I just want you so bad. want a bj? (No, thank you...?)
• I think it's a great way to find out what's going on around school without having to rely on tnh. i feel like the blog has more about what the students actually care about. And with twitter, information is passed along pretty much instantly so we know what's going on, on campus. It's how I've gotten a great deal of information over the past couple of year
• The hilarious posts about stuff like Cabinet Kid's shenanigans (Those posts write themselves, but sadly he's toned it down this year...)
• Other general comments: Funny, honesty, realistic, represents student life well etc.

Here are some responses to "what is your least favorite part of UNHblog.com?"

• references to over the top excessive drinking (Thanks, mom.)
• It's not a pill that makes me bigger, stronger & faster. Also, I have a feeling it's not bear-proof... (I'm working on this one...)
• Low frequency of posting, but I know you're busy (Second semester senior... senioritus is more than just school work... also, I feel like this semester has been pretty uneventful UNH news wise.)
• That it exists. (Thanks for reading. Douche.)
• dreaming about you fucking me after I read you, daily. (Apparently, I have not used this blog to its full potential.)
• Not to be completely naive, because I know a lot of students do, but not every student drinks or drinks heavily (You're right. Only the cools ones do...)
• the union leader rants are getting a little old. not saying i don't agree... but i get, you don't like it. (Ahem: Fuck the Union Leader.)
• Complaints about UNH dining. Once you get into the real world, you'll miss the dining hall. (Yeah, I'm really gonna miss diarrhea, soggy sandwiches, and not being able to find salt.)
• Ads. (Fucking anti-corporate liberal bastard!)
• Other general complaints: Not updated enough, didn't like any guest writers, want more guest writers, should get a female blogger, didn't like the female blogger you had, I miss the female blogger, that you're graduating... (A lot of favorites/least favorites cancelled each other out like drinking stories and guest writers. Guess that means it is actually balanced).

Responses to "ways to improve the blog":

• Include a campus map which shows all of the social area where people party. (You're doing it wrong.)
• get deep and personal, spill your soul all over my screen. (Stalker level: 99)
• Your tagline is Stay Classy, Not UMassy -which I really like. but many of your comments and behavior around alcohol are not too classy. I am not at all opposed to having fun on the weekends, but you seem to have no perspective on your attitude around drinking. (Do people not realize the tagline is part of the joke?)
• don't let us graduate (I wish...)
• General feedback here: More pictures, posts, videos, interviews etc...

Responses to "other general feedback, suggestions, comments or questions?"

• get laid more and write about that (Go read Barstool)
• Your awesome! PARTY WITH SLUTS! (Not having herpes is going really well for me right now.)
• Fuck me. (I'm sensing a theme here...)
• i feel like i'd like you as a person, good job (I probably wouldn't like you.... just kidding).
• Other general feedback: good job, keep it going, find a successor, don't give it to a dumb kid...

 Overall, I just want to say thank you to everyone who took the survey (despite what I posted above, I got a lot of great feedback.) I feel sorry to say this, but I will not be passing the blog on. I'll explain this in full detail in another post, but it has to do with personal issues. Also I think someone will come along and create their own work for future UNH generations.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Help me, Help You

Dear Nonsensical Nation,

With just a few months left of the school year, and my final year here at UNH, I have been brainstorming ways to give back to UNH. I have a few small projects in mind. But, I would also like your help. This blog has been a major part of my UNH career. I'm very proud of what it evolved into and I am always looking for ways to improve it and my own writing style and ability. I decided to create a short survey to help me get a better understanding of what my readers are like and why you come to this blog. It will not only help improve this blog over the last few months, but it will also help me with future projects as well. Please take a few minutes to fill out the survey, it is only 10 questions long and about half of it is multiple choice so it won't take long. Thank you so much.

Love,

The New Hampshirite

Click here to take survey

This alcohol survey seems... off

I was about to start working on one of my midterm essays I have due this week, but then new alcohol awareness survey in my UNH email got my attention. Some of the questions seemed, well like the person who made it had a few too many drinks while making it. Let's take a look.

The survey began with this note to the takers. Notice it says "1 oz of 100 proof alcohol." This seems a bit off because the average proof of hard liquor is 80, meaning it is 40% alcohol. Also, the a shot is actually 1.5 ounces. So either someone doesn't understand how proof or alcohol % works, or they expect me to do way too much math conversion.

And all this time I thought that there were only 7 days in a week. I guess I've always been to hungover to notice that day between Friday and Saturday, "Ican'tmathday."

Does a bear shit in the woods? No seriously does it? And yes, I do drink alcohol. Why else would I be taking this ridiculous survey? Clicking "'I do not socialize', 'party', or 'go out'" for every answer seems lame and boring. Who would do that to themselves?

If by "alcohol-free social events" you mean class... then yes. If not, what type of social events are alcohol free? My 5-year-old cousin's ballet recital? Because I pregamed for that too.

I always go with my favorite caffeinated alcoholic drink "Red Bull." I can't believe they still sell that shit at campus stores. I get so wasted pregaming off Red Bull, suckers!

The survey also asked students to rank how many times they had done certain things over the past year because of drinking, between 0 to more than 8 times, for things such as being hungover, memory loss, missing class etc. However, one of the questions really annoyed me. It asked "How many times have you gotten into a fight or argument because of your drinking?" I think that this is a ridiculous question because a simple argument and a fight are very different. One is my explaining why I'm always right, which happens frequently and the other is a violent, physical confrontation, which I have never done. That's right, I like to drink a lot and I've never been in an actual fight! Shocking, I know. But I feel like this question gives all of us debaters a bad name. A few whiskey drinks in me and I'll argue all night long about anything. It's fun. Violence and fighting are not fun. You don't get arrested for explaining to your roommate why the fact that there are polar bears on the tropical island in Lost doesn't make the show unwatchable. However, if I stabbed him, then yes, I would be arrested.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Quiet Hours Survey

Attention residents of the Gables and Woodsides, please be aware that an email has been sent out with a brief (3-4 question) survey regarding quiet hours. In the email housing says that the change was in hope of reducing the cost of damages. However, they fail to mention that they have seen no change in damage bills so far this semester. (Their direct quote to me was "very little difference" but didn't say in which direction). Please take this survey to show them that they were out of line by changing the quiet hours without any student feedback. They used the fact that 22% of students polled said it wasn't always quiet enough when they wanted to study or sleep, which is nowhere near the majority of apartment residents. My roommates and I all selected the "10pm weekday and 1am weekend" option, I hope you do the same.

In other news, I just received a tweet saying that ATO has now lost recognition. Anyone have any details on this? UNH fraternities are dropping like flies.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

The Dorm Survey

Seriously, how fun is it to fill out those dorm surveys? I had the opportunity to do so on Monday night and I took full advantage of it. You may think I'm joking but I don't think I've ever been more truthful on this blog than right now.
 The first page on the survey was asking about "active bystanding." Obviously if you read my column about the campus assaults you know I have strong feelings about this topic. But I fail to see how living in my dorm has taught me anything about active bystanding... because I already learned everything about it in fucking middle school.
 Why the fuck do these dorms try to waste our time (and money) by trying to "teach" us this stupid bullshit about things that we learned in 7th grade? I decided I wasn't going to bullshit my answers like 90% of people who say "I learned not to let my friends get away with racist jokes or I broke up a fight." No you didn't so shut the fuck up and give me a break. On my survey, when answering a question about what I have learned about active bystanding from living in my dorm I wrote something along the lines of:
"Nothing. I learned about active bystanding before college. It should be common sense for people our age and if they are too immature to realize this a this point  they probably never will. I'm sorry, but this is true. It is just a waste of time."
If I come off as sounding like a douche, I understand and I don't give a fuck. It is all bullshit! I just want to live in a room and be left the fuck alone so I can study and get drunk. Stop trying to teach me bullshit, that is what classes are for.
Speaking of getting drunk...
The last page of the survey was on my favorite subject: alcohol. So after saying how great my RA is for not constantly bugging the shit out of me I got to learn a little more about  my drinking habits. I will now share them with you:

I drink alcohol: yes

How many nights a week do you party: 3 (I consider drinking in my room by myself a party.)

When at a party, how many alcoholic drinks do you usually have? A drink is considered to be a 12 oz beer, 4 oz wine or a shot of liquor:  7-8 (Keyword is party. They didn’t specify pre-gaming or numerous parties in a night. I'm very observant. Although, I wish I answered the max on these.)

How many drinks in a week: 16-20 (I have no idea so I put the 2nd highest. I mean I'm not an alcoholic.)

During this school year, how many times have you experienced the following due to YOUR drinking:

• Had a hangover: 2 (Don’t ask how, some people are just less susceptible)
• Peformed poorly on a test or project: 0 (I separate work from play.)
• Been in trouble: 0 (I'm the fucking New Hampshirite... knock on wood.)
• Got into argument or fight: 0 (Not counting debates. Arguments and debates are different.)
• Missed a class: 0 (Although once I was drunk in class.)
• Had memory loss: I put 3, but I really don't remember...
• Did something I later regretted: 0 (Last year I started this blog.)
• Been hurt or injured: 0 (not physically...)

Personally I was a little upset there weren't similar questions involving weed...

Stay classy, not UMassy.