Thursday, March 31, 2011

Old Enough to Party

So yesterday afternoon I went on a beer run with one of my roommate's. It was his 21st birthday and his first time purchasing alcohol. We went to the Market Basket at the Lee traffic circle so we could also hit up the liquor store that is right next to it. We go into the Bucket (as it was called at my high school... is that a common thing or was my high school just weird? anyways...) We each grab some beer and make our way to the checkout counter. While I'm in line I noticed the guy in front of me lean over the counter as whisper to the cashier (a young kid probably college aged) and he tells the kid to make sure he cards me. Like, really dude? You're 50 years old and look like you're homeless. Anyways, the kid scans my ID... and it didn't read. So he did it again. No luck. Finally, the third time it went through. I could tell the kid didn't even want to do it but that guy was still getting his bags and watching him. Needless to say I was freaking out a little bit to myself, but I kept it cool. I've been to that Market Basket a few times now and they never bothered scanning it before.

 Next stop was the liquor store. I love the liquor store. I'm like a little kid in a candy shop or Toys-R-Us or something. Just so many wonderful things and I want them all. Anyways, I settle on a bottle of vodka and make my way to the cashier. This time the guy goes to me "You look like your 12 years old" as he looks over my ID. Really dude? How many 12 year olds do you know that are 5'10 and have a full friggin beard!?! The guy says nothing to my roommate, who really does look like a 12 year old and we made our way back to campus.

Later all my roommates  and I went down to Mei Wei and got some scorpion bowls for 2 each. Those were pretty tasty and a great way to start the night off. We even had some of our younger friends DD for us and we got back to the apartment to finish of the night. Needless to say when I saw my roommate this morning he claimed that he didn't have a hangover. I then reminded him that he was clearly still drunk, which to that he agreed. Champion. Wildcat Blood. I know I'm still a rookie, but welcome to the show, Cabinet Kid.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Really... really?


Son of a bitch! I just want some nice (dry) warm weather! Damn you snow gods! It's freaking baseball season! Ahhhh! Dammit all.

(Unless of course they cancel Friday classes. If that's the case: Bring it on! Wait... this is UNH... dammit.)

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Nonsensical's 2nd Anniversary

Today is the blog's second birthday/anniversary. I'm not really sure what to call it. Either way, it's been two years since I got the idea to start this in my Williamson dorm room and quite honestly, I didn't think it would last two days. To tell you the truth, I didn't realize it was today until late last night so I really don't have anything special planned. (I did remember over spring break, but I promptly forgot with the insane amount of work and birthday's recently. Seriously, what's up with March? I've had mine, two roommates and several other friends all have had birthdays since break.)

Last year we added two writers, but nothing like that is going on right now. I guess all I can say is that this has been one hell of a ride and I've enjoyed every minute of it. This blog would be nothing without its readers so whether you check in once a week or once an hour: thank you. Nonsensical Nation is my inspiration and most of my posts pretty much write themselves. We've shared stories, laughs, rants, offensive commentary (and comments)  and I don't think I would change a single thing.

This is a happy and celebratory occasion so put your glasses (or water bottles of vodka) in the air and cheers! Thanks for a great two years and here's to one more! Okay, enough sentimental bullshit it's time to get rowdy, party and celebrate the only way I know how! Wildcat Blood.

Yeah, I went there. Turn that shit up to 11.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

How did they not notice that?!

Hey all! This is STAN checking back in! I realize wildcat nation is in mourning right now so I thought I'd tell a story that would lighten the mood a bit! All day today I've been putting off writing a couple of papers, yes I know I said I never get work in the post a few days ago, shut up. I was watching tv with some friends and the remote was on the floor out of reach so changing the channel was impossible and Oprah was on. This would normally have been really annoying to me because all I can think about when I see Oprah is how in the hell did her eyes get so far apart? But today proved to be different and rewarding beyond my wildest hopes! Today she was doing a show on a family which the Dad, Mom, and two teenage sons were all addicted to heroin until the Oprah Winfrey show offered to help! Oprah was following up with them in this episode to see how they were doing. It seemed like they all had their lives back on track, Dad was working again, sons got their GEDs and one was in college, and I forget what the Mom was up to because I wasn't paying that much attention but I assume she was just peachy as well. Stay tuned I swear I'm getting to the point! The whole show was shaping up to be a touching story of redemtion and recovery, just like every other friggin Oprah show. She was talking to Mike, the father, about his recovery. And then the most incredible thing that I have ever seen on Oprah happened. They showed Mike's last name. It was Hawk. Mike Hawk!!! If you don't get it then just say Mike Hawk quickly and out loud. And if you STILL don't get it...... genitals. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw it and immediately started crying from laughing. Now who made the decision to call the guy "Mike" on INTERNATIONAL television? Apparently Michael was too long. The best part was that the guy named one of his sons Michael too and he went by Mike also!! Mike Hawk Jr!!! Fun for the whole family!! It was a group 15 minute laughfest that I felt compelled to share with the Nonsensical faithful. I hope I was able to shed a ray of light on this time of terrible sadness! At least your name doesn't rhyme with something dirty. Stay Classy, AUSSIE! AUSSIE! AUSSIE!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Rusty's Rant

I'll admit it; I was sadly falling to the idea that UNH had no chance in the NCAA Tournament for men's hockey after finding out they had to play Miami (OH) in the first round. When I watched their upset of the No. 1 seed in that region, however, I started to realize that this could totally happen. With mild flashbacks of the 2009 tournament after the literal last-second goal against North Dakota, I eagerly awaited the Wildcats playing against Notre Dame the next day.

We all know how that one turned out. To keep the already-old joke running, I could write the same complaints (Dick Umile is overpaid, UNH chokes in the playoffs, etc.), but I'll try to save you the whining. I think The New Hampshirite's column on Tuesday (and the comments underneath) were the most accurate when they said that good teams adjust their game when it comes to the final stretch of the season, something the Wildcats have never done. It really fits in with the mentality of New Hampshire as a whole: we really what we're doing now, and we're afraid of change. This could get political, too, but we're talking about hockey here.

Anyway, when I read the column by Chad Graff in The New Hampshire called "Note to fans: don't take success lightly," it got me a little irritated, so much that I woke from my incredibly long hiatus on this blog, that consisted of drinking shitty beer and watching MTV Jams with some classes in the mix, to write about how I really don't agree with anything Chad said.

I've got nothing against Chad, just against his points. Let's go through some snippets.

Mike Sislo sat at the postgame press conference fighting to spit out words in between tears.

Paul Thompson and Phil DeSimone – still in full hockey gear – stood outside the locker room minutes after their hockey careers at the University of New Hampshire had come to an end, trying to explain the disappointment they felt after UNH's 2-1 loss to Notre Dame in the Northeast Regional final.

"Words can't describe it," DeSimone said.

They didn't have to – their emotions did that for them.

Sislo spoke softly as he answered questions with his yellow bath towel hanging around his blue UNH sweater.

DeSimone refused to take off the jersey that helped him become one of the best playmakers in college hockey.

And then there was Thompson - the hometown kid who grew up 15 minutes from the Verizon Wireless Arena.

The Derry native spoke softly, staring at the ground. It was clear he wanted no part of removing his sweater. Or even shaving his Luigi-esque mustache that the team grew for the playoffs.

Alright, I've first got a problem with this lede/beginning. If you're trying to set a scene of defeat and sorrow, don't add something unintentionally funny about a mustache. It kills the mood quicker than my diarrhea while hooking up with a girl a couple weeks ago. Just kidding; it was me puking.

Anyone that understands sports is aware that titles are the only things that matter. And no one in the Granite State needs to be reminded that UNH hasn't won a men's title. By no means does consistency make up for championships.


But in a competitive college landscape with millions of dollars at stake, the risks are too high to gut everything. Consistency reins in college where coaching staffs recruit players that fit their system.

Umile and Co. have done just that.

WRONG! The only players recruited by Umile are from America, and they SHOULD take more chances on skaters from other areas. I'm sure there is no international talent the men's hockey team could chase after that would benefit them greatly, right Gustav Nyquist? Stephan Da Costa?

Think back to Bobby Butler. Last year's captain wasn't recruited by any big-name programs – until UNH fell in love with his work ethic. He only went on to turn in one of the best careers in recent memory and continues to gain UNH recognition with his play in the NHL.

Sure, there are unearthed gems UNH can find, but that doesn't mean they should stop and pat themselves on the back for it. Go after the bigger fish as well.

I'm not saying we, as a UNH community, should settle for the playoffs. That's the worst thing we could do. The goal should always be the national title.

But for fans to be up in arms about last weekend's loss is absurd. This is, after all, a squad that was predicted to finish fourth in the Hockey East. They went on to participate in hockey's version of the Elite Eight, far exceeding these expectations.

Winning changes preseason predictions greatly. After the hot early start, I'm pretty sure no one thought this team couldn't get to the Frozen Four. Also, you were earlier talking about 10 straight postseason appearances (click on the article and find it), but yet you say the expectations weren't that high. If a team does something great nine seasons in a row, the likelihood of them repeating that task for a tenth time is pretty likely, especially since I know they've been able to deal with players leaving their system and new, unproven ones replacing them.

I'm going to finish this off with some final thoughts that, again, echo the sentiments of some commenters on this site: if you are good in the early season, other teams will catch on, especially ones in your division. UNH, once again, never adjusted and paid the price. I've had high expectations for the team ever since I came to UNH and realized what a powerhouse they can be. My expectations weren't for the playoffs but for the team as a whole from last season. I expect them to know how to adapt and to stop playing hockey as one-dimensional as a conversation with an Alpha Phi girl. If that takes a change at the coaching level, then yes, I do support it.


I love calling the other goalie a sieve when UNH scores, so just let me do it for a couple more games next time.

Reader Email: Lobster Explained

Whatup New Hampshirite??

My names (blank) and I'm one of the fish guys. I was the one that threw the much talked about lobster at the game on Sunday night, and I thought I should offer an explanation. The fish market that usually donates the fish to us was closed on sunday, and as the game approached we were scrambling to find a fish to throw. We literally called 20 different grocery stores and fish markets around both Durham and Manchester to no avail, so we had to go to Hannafords at 630 and grab the next best thing, a lobster. Not our choice, but the best we could do. You should have seen the guys at the Verizon center when they searched our bag and found a lobster...never have i seen so many people be so confused; we had to wait at the entrance for 15 minutes while they made sure we were okay to bring the lobster in, we had a crowd of verizon center management around us and it was hilarious. That is hopefully the last time we throw a lobster, and I guarantee that for the first game next year youll see us at the whit with a big, smelly fish like usual.

staying classy and DEFINITELY not umassy-

Ask and you shall receive. Not everything always goes to plan, but I'm glad to hear the real explanation about that mystery lobster. UNH's season is over and it is time to move on. Looking forward to big, smelly fish next season. Wildcat Blood.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Sometimes the Truth Hurts

I love UNH hockey with all my heart, mind and soul. For the past three seasons I have attended nearly every home game and I've made trips to Manchester and Boston to watch others. I still remember the first game I attended as a nine-year-old, when Jason Krog netted a few points in a 9-4 win over Providence. I remember the pain of the 1999 loss to Maine in the National Championship and again in 2003 to Minnesota. I remember screaming and running up and down the halls of Williamson when they tied North Dakota with less than a second left. I will always remember those games, just as I will remember the games this past weekend. The win over Miami-Ohio was as exhilarating as they come and the loss to Notre Dame hurt as bad as any other since I first watched the blue and white take the ice in the late 1990s.

Sunday night's performance against Notre Dame is a tough one to swallow. After UNH looked so good against arguably the hottest team in the country in Miami-Ohio, the team just did not seem to have the same fire in the second game. Every year it has been the same story. Early season promise, breakout players, great regular seasons followed by an early playoff exit. I love UNH hockey, but the truth hurts. I know I am not alone.

Following Sunday night's collapse, my Facebook, Twitter and text message inbox was full of similar reactions. Here are just a select few: "I hate reruns;" "Such is the life of a UNH hockey fan;" "UNH loses in disappointing fashion in March? Haven't we watched this episode before?" "They looked unmotivated until it was too late. Where was the team that shut down Miami?" "Can't believe UNH couldn't win a big game ... oh wait, yes I can." "Damn. UNH, can we win an important game for once?" "And the post season Umiliation of UNH hockey continues." "Still the University of No Hardware." "Now can we fire Umile? Please?" "$380,000 for what? Another early exit?"

Just like when every season ends, fans instantly brought up coach Umile's playoff history. I'll be the first to admit it is obviously not pretty. Let's face it, he has done a fantastic job, always fielding a highly competitive team. We rarely hear of UNH players having off-the-ice issues, and players develop extremely well during their UNH career. Recently, Bobby Butler and Paul Thompson are perfect examples of student athletes who have improved on and off the ice under Umile's watchful eye. But the truth hurts. UNH still has yet to win a national championship and like former Jets' coach Herm Edwards famously ranted, "You play to win the game." I mean no disrespect to coach Umile or the players, but facts are facts. For UNH to truly be considered a college hockey powerhouse, we need a national title.

Fans looked for other things to blame following the game. Many pointed out the fact that a lobster was thrown and not a fish. As soon as I saw the lobster I thought it might have been a bad omen. The fish is tradition; you cannot change tradition, especially with a trip to the Frozen Four on the line! At times the team looked flat, unmotivated and deflated up until the late goal. What else is there to say? That was a hell of a season that provided hours of entertainment for UNH fans, and although it ended with a sour taste in our mouths, I cannot help but still feel proud for this team and especially the senior class. Entering the season no one really knew what to expect. We had lost our leading scorer and had a virtually untested goalie. For most of the season, the team came up big and up and down the lineup, with different players of each class stepping up when the team needed them. It didn't end the way we wanted because "most of the time" is not the same as "always."

Looking back on the entire season, I think we can all say it was one of the most entertaining seasons in a long time. Maybe that's why this loss hurt so badly. I cannot end this without thanking our senior class. For the last four years Greg Manz, Mike Beck, Phil DeSimone, Paul Thompson, Matt Campanale, and Mike Sislo represented UNH extremely professionally on and off the ice. Thank you for the memories and best of luck with your future careers. I don't know any of them personally, but I'm proud to call them my fellow students.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Random Thoughts

So the other day a friend was chatting on Like a Little while we were watching TV because it is hilarious what people say on there. All of a sudden she yells out "Ah, gross listen to what this guy said"... "I just woke up from a nap and there was a load of drool that came out of my mouth!" The funny thing it turned out to be our other friend (who is also female) and was sitting on the other couch. They were chatting for a while and never realized it. Absolutely hilarious. While on that topic, the chat function on Like a Little has began to make me question other students. That thing is about to go down hill like Chat Roulette.

Charlie Sheen is invading UNH! Other spray paint stencils have been spotted too. What does it mean?! Wildcat blood?

This is inside of Stillings. "Nourish. Discover. Energize." Last time I checked, a plate full of french fries and cheesy bread doesn't provide nourishment. What are we supposed to discover? How much of a fat ass we are? And whenever I leave Stillings I don't feel energized. I usually barely make it back and then crash on my couch. Choices matter.

Lastly, I realized why UNH couldn't pull out the win last night. Gnarlz wasn't on the ice. That cat is clutch, look at this deke he put on that dirty hippy Rally:

Dangle, snipe and celly. (Top notch quality I know.)

Stay classy, not UMassy.

PS: Congratulations to Paul Thompson, who signed a contract with the Pittsburgh Penguins today.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

That Sucked.

And so ends another UNH hockey season. I just wrote a full reaction of the game and season and life as a UNH fan for my TNH column so you'll have to wait for Tuesday for that... For now, I guess I'm just going to say: Fuck that lobster. You don't mess with tradition with a trip to the Frozen Four on the line!

In all seriousness, that was a memorable season that ended in such a similar fashion to almost every UNH season I can remember. It hurt, but we must move on. The Red Sox eventually won a World Series and UNH will eventually win a national championship.

 Thanks to the team, my fellow student fans and most of all the senior class. They have represented UNH so well over the last four years. But again, my full reaction will be up on Tuesday.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

One Game at a Time

One game at a time. Three more times. Three more wins. The NCAA Hockey Tournament has been an upset galore and UNH is coming off possibly their best performance of the year. I call on the ghost of Leadbelly to exorcize UNH's playoff demons. Get out of here Devil! Black Betty is back! Wildcat blood.

Update: I just got this email. It went to my spam account and obviously isn't real, but it is weird:

Subject: change blog title and u get free tix to game
Body: change the name and u can get free Verizon wireless arena tix to game.  Get rid of the UMassy and will give you the tix for the hockey game. Certainly the title is not classy.

Never! Sorry "Sue" if that is your real name. This is clearly one of UMass' higher ups worried about their reputation. Sorry ZooMass, you blew it when your fans threw apples at our fans and football team a few years back. 

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Friday, March 25, 2011

STAN has been busy!

Hello again Wildcat Nation!
My sincerest apologies for the extended hiatus on my international posts. Mother Nature has been trying to sink the part of the world I'm in so I've been a little distracted.

What I want to do with this post is to sort of bring you all up to date on what I've been doing while giving a taste of what Australian college life is all about. But first just one more thing on my absense from the blog. The New Hampshirite's posts have been quite important and I figured I shouldn't really post immediately after t hem just to make sure that you are all absorbing the message that that s.o.b. is trying to get across. Now that I have left a reasonable amount of time in between that dick's morally sound posts and my not so much moral crap, I feel no shame in filling you in on the silliness that has been my Aussie life.

Where to begin? I suppose orientation week (o-week for those who can't pronounce big words). Orientation here is not at all what it is at UNH. Almost every single day the older residents of my dorm, or the "fossils", would hold some sort of drinking activity for everyone 18 and older to enjoy. Granted "fossils" are mostly younger than me because this is my first year at James Cook University so I got labelled as a freshman. Whatever. Free booze! This is how o-week went. Monday: toga party. Tuesday: fossil-fresher meet and greet, with a lot of alcohol. Wednesday: sports day with an alcoholic finale. Thursday: keg party. Friday: pub crawl. And then we got the weekend to do whatever we wanted to. One hell of a week let me tell YOU!

Then classes started which actually hasn't stemmed the flow of drinking at all because Tuesday is a big party night as well as Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Also my classes never assign work to do which leaves me a lot of time to screw around. For example, asking Australians to say "squirrel" is the funniest thing ever! Their accent just does not allow them to spit it out without them sounding like they have a serious speech disorder.

Another way to keep myself occupied is to investigate the Australia stereotypes. This is what I have discovered so far.

KANGAROOS! Believe the hype! They actually are all over the place here! Unfortunately, they are not big enough or cooperative enough to ride around. I tried.

I am devasted to report that Australian toilets do NOT spin the other way. Something I was looking forward to seeing. Disappointing to say the least.

G'day mate! They really do say it! Makes me feel like I'm in a Crocodile Dundee movie! Except nobody carries a knife and the only leather pants you see are ass-less... moving right along...

Vegemite is disgusting. Do not believe anyone that tells you it's good. It's basically brown salt paste that tastes like dried sea-weed and sticks to your teeth so you have to taste it all day. Avoid at-all-costs.

Here's the biggest shocker that is actually not a big shock. Australians never ever put shrimp on the barby. Probably the fault of Americans. Well done everyone!

Now I can't not talk about drinking games!!!
From what I noticed, the only game that the Australians played was circle of death. Otherwise known as King's Cup. Needless to say the Americans (mostly me) felt obligated to teach them how to play beer pong/beirut (I call it whatever gets it going faster). However, the Aussies seem pretty universally surprised to hear that we actually use the "red cups" that they see in movies. They don't have em here. I DO feel the need to give them credit on a few "games" that they have taught us. They are played throughout the course of the entire night and losing requires you to FINISH your drink on the spot. I'm not going to say what they are because that will ruin the fun for me when I get home and want to get the New Hampshirite and my other roommates completely blitzed!

So all in all I suppose I'm trying to say that I'm having a wonderful time representing USA and UNH and Nonsensical HQ in the land down under.

From now on I'll try my best to post more often so that the posts have more of a central theme. That is unless another dorm-sponsored pub crawl with a charter bus taking us to reach bar gets anounced. In that case it might be a while :)


PS Australians don't know what Reese's cups are. wtf?

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Ski Fail

This is a close friend of mine and an avid blog reader. Maybe we just find it hilarious because we know her, but someone should call Daniel Tosh because this should be web redemption worthy.

PS: I think the best part is after the first fall she says "Nope." Like I really thought she landed it until she clarified that.

White and Ghetto

Are you ready for Wiz Khalifa? Because these UNH students sure are with their parody video "White and Ghetto."

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

A Challenge to You

Another spring break has come and gone and we are now in the final homestretch of the spring semester here at UNH. We are running out of time at this place so it is important to make the most of it. College is a hell of a drug. But that is not what I want to talk about today. I want to do something different. I want to make a challenge to my fellow UNH students, the faculty, our community, and anyone else who happens to be reading this. Don't worry, I'm not talking about a $25 million fundraising challenge, because quite honestly I can think of 25 million better ways to spend that money on campus, but I'll save that for another day.

There are a lot of crazy things going on in the world right now. Then again, when isn't there? From Libya to Japan to our own country, to our school and everywhere in between there are conflicts, crises, violence and hate. There is too much of that. There is also love; people helping others and conversations being had that are for the better of the human race. There is not enough of that. There needs to be more of that. There needs to be a world where we consider ourselves to all be members of the human race, because that is the only race that really matters.

The United States is basically involved in three wars (that we know about) and we are being told that these are wars for freedom and peace. Think about that for a moment. Fighting wars for freedom and peace. Maybe we should rename our weapons to help make it sound better. During the World Wars everything that was German was renamed to sound more patriotic. Sauerkraut became liberty cabbage. More recently when France did not follow the United States into the Middle East, French fries became freedom fries. This is a war for peace! Those are not Tomahawk missiles; they are liberation-makers, peace projectiles and freedom finders! Doesn't that sound better?

So you are probably asking yourself what my challenge is; I'm getting to it. There is a quote from the movie "Waking Life" that puts it better than I ever could. It is something that I heard during my senior year of high school and something I have tried to keep in the back of my mind for the past few years. The quote comes from a character who is a philosophy professor and during a conversation he says, "It might be true that there are six billion people in this world, and counting, but nevertheless, what you do makes a difference. It makes a difference, first of all, in material terms, it makes a difference to other people, and it sets an example."

My challenge to the UNH community is to be that example. It only takes one person to say, write or do one thing that can set an entire movement into motion. But that might not even be necessary. A friendly smile, holding the door for someone or helping someone pick up sheets of paper they dropped walking through a crowded hallway in the MUB can be the perfect starting point. It has been a stressful year here at UNH and a lot of people have been affected by the recent tragedies, both international and right here within our own community. Small things do make a big difference, and you will influence others around you to act accordingly. Be the example and soon you won't be an example, but will be the norm. I do believe that one person can make a difference simply by being a human because we can think and act on those thoughts. We are all humans; we can all make a difference. Every movement starts small and evolves and grows. It just takes a little time and belief in the idea that it will work.

I recently celebrated my 21st birthday and a few readers sent me messages about wanting to buy me a drink at a bar sometime. I am not sure how serious they were. It would be awesome, but I don't want that. If you consider yourself a regular reader of my column or the blog, take my challenge seriously because that would be the greatest gift of all, something that would benefit our own campus and the human race.

Stay classy, not UMassy

Monday, March 21, 2011

I made it.

Well Nonsensical Nation, I have finally made it to the holy land, 21. I survived the weekend and I somehow even made it to my 8 AM class today. To show how insane that is, one of our friends was out cold on the couch until 11 and I had drank the most by far. Beginning 2 PM Saturday we drank until 1 AM, I slept and repeated all day Sunday. My older brothers took me out to a few bars around Portsmouth, so that was a great experience. I can't wait to hit up the bars downtown Durham this week.

Now, Saturday night into Sunday morning was perhaps the drunkest I have ever been. Let me fill you in. When I went to write this post I found this in my saved drafts:

"AHOOOOYAAHOOO!!!!!! 21 whoaaaaaa!"

I remember thinking that I wanted to write a quick post right at midnight, and I do remember writing it now that I have seen it, but I completely forgot that I had done that.  I had my laptop set up in the living room so  I must have typed that real quick while playing music, but I never posted it. But that wasn't nearly the drunkest thing I did.

Right before 1 AM two of my friends who were gone skiing called me. I remember doing this, but not what we actually talked about.  After talking for almost 15 minutes I said, "I can't find my phone!" And while talking I frantically searched my room until my friend (on the phone) informed my that I was on my phone. After the conversation ended I texted her and denied that we ever talked on the phone because "I'm drunk, but I not that gone" so I would have remember talking on the phone. In the morning, I clearly remember the call, but I also remembered that I didn't remember talking to them just a few minutes after. I guess midnight birthday shotguns and shots of whiskey can do that to you after eight hours of drinking.

Hopefully being 21 will only help this blog grow. But now that I am 21, I am completely mature enough to drink more responsibly and I think underage drinking is bad. Stop break the law, sinners. And no, I won't buy you booze. I'm a law abiding citizen. (Just kidding.)

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Who else is ready to turn it up to 11?

I turn 21 tomorrow. After tonight I will have (hopefully) survived UNH without an underage drinking arrest or a single written warning from an RA or CA. Verbal warnings for playing awesome music loud for all to hear doesn't count. If you tell me to turn the bass down I will, but I'm gonna turn the volume up. We're cranking it up to 11 tonight, UNH! Wildcat blood.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Friday, March 18, 2011

A rant about Hockey East

I'm writing this blog on my parent's old dinosaur of a computer. It doesn't have internet spellcheck and I have nicknamed it "Hal" because this thing literally has a mind of its own. If you got that reference, plus 5 points to you. Sadly, I won't be in Boston to watch UNH beat Merrimack tonight, but I will have it up on NESN and I'll probably be drunk and loud enough to be heard all the way down at the Garden... or at least loud enough for my neighbors to think we're being robbed. (And if Scott Hanson is reffing we just might be! Zing!) If my mom thought I was freaking out when Morehead State beat Louisville yesterday (which I had on my bracket thank you very much) she ain't seen nothing yet! I'm there in spirit boys!

Let's start this end-of-spring-break-weekend off right with a win over Merrimack. The game isn't at that high school sized Lawler "Arena" and we aren't playing Hockey East's favorite son BC so it should be reffed fairly. On that matter, I'm pleasently surprised to see that UNH was the LEAST penalized team in Hockey East play this year. For how much I despise Scott Hanson and his axis of evil buddy Chris Federico, UNH plays a clean game. As for the Hockey East awards that have been announced recently, Paul Thompson was named player of the year, which came as a mild surprise. I really thought Cam Atkinson may have surpassed Thompson with his late season surge. It was a two man race and they both deserved recognition. That being said, Congrats Paul, it's been a heck of a season and a joy watching you play for four years! I actually saw him play back when he was at Pinkerton Academy. I think he scored a few goals on my high school's team... (Thompson is also a Hobey Baker top ten finalist! The fan poll reopened today, keep voting!) *Update: You now have to create an account to vote for the Hobey Baker. Suck on that Maple Leaf fan/Matt Frattin cheaters!* Thompson and Blake Kessel were both named to Hockey East's First Team while Matt Digirolamo was hosed off the second team by BU's Kieran Millan. Hey Millan, enjoy your award while watching DiGi play tonight... and in the NCAAs. Like I said on twitter last night, I'll take DiGi over Millan any day of the week and twice on game day, since you know, UNH is still playing... 

However, I think the biggest shock of the awards was BC's Jerry York being named Coach of the Year over Merrimack's Mark Dennehy. Out of all the awards Dennehy was the biggest shoe-in and Hockey East got it wrong. Plain and simple. What he has done with that team is unbelievable and he and his players deserve respect, win or lose tonight. York had a returning National Championship team, preseason ranked number 1, returning it's starting goalie and the top goal scorer in the country from last year in Atkinson and his team UNDERachieved this year. Not to take anything away from BC, they finished first in the best conference in division 1 hockey, but they were expected too. Dennehy led Merrimack to their first ever top 20 appearence and they are currently number 7 in the nation. This is a heck of a coaching job. Fuck BC. Rant over. Wildcatblood.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Art Work of the Week

This is what my friends do when they have three hours to kill and a lot of dental floss...

Seriously, Nonsensical Headquarters is full of some epic works of art, I might just have to start doing weekly postings. Our fridge is covered with drawings, caricatures, trippy designs, and burned paper designs. This specific piece, which uses four tabs out of the 1,200+  "soda" tabs we've "collected" for dialysis this semester, is even more impressive in person. The photo doesn't do it justice. I have some other pieces lined up, but if you have any neat, interesting or funny pieces send them in!

 Have a nice break everyone and stay classy, not UMassy, out there.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Reader Email: Ricky Santos' Biggest Fan

Do you know Ricky Santos? Did you play football at UNH with Ricky Santos or before him. Have you been following his career. He is doing some exciting things on and off the field this year. He is exciting to watch.

That has to be fake... right? Is this legit or some wacky spam? Ricky Santos played at UNH from 2004-2007 and has been in the Canadian football league since then. I think I might email him back in a completely serious manner just to see where this goes. I don't know. I'm so confused. I need a drink. Wildcat Blood.

Wildcat Blood

Let's close out round one tonight, boys!

Friday, March 11, 2011

Spring Break

Well UNH, we've made it to another spring break. Once again the entire campus leaves for the first round of Hockey East games, St. Patrick's Day and even my birthday. I swear UNH does this on purpose to cut down on campus parties. I'm not gonna say too much, but when school resumes again The New Hampshirite will finally be of legal drinking age. I know what you're thinking, you've been listening to an underaged student this whole time. It was probably pretty obvious early on, but yes, I am a youngin'.

Hell week is over, the blog's second birthday is also right around the corner, it's Spring Break. Party time. If you're on campus tonight, hit up the hockey game and party all night long. All weekend long. All week long. I'm not in the mood to write anything serious right now so I'm out.

Time to win the only way possible:

Stay classy, not UMassy. Wildcat Blood.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Hockey East Season Recap

Back in late September I wrote a post previewing this year's men's hockey team and I briefly touched on Hockey East as well. I made the following predictions for the final Hockey East standings:

     My Predictions:              Actual Results:
  1. BC                                   1. BC 
  2. UNH                                 2. UNH
  3. Maine                               3. BU
  4. Merrimack                        4. Merrimack
  5. BU                                   5. Maine
  6. Vermont                           6. Northeastern
  7. Northeastern                     7. Vermont
  8. UMass                             8. UMass
  9. UMass Lowell                   9. Providence
  10. Providence                       10. UMass Lowell
Now, I'm not one to brag, but those are pretty accurate predictions. I was right or within one spot for every team except for the BU/Maine flip at 3 and 5 and in all fairness a lot of people thought Maine would finish even higher.  I nailed Merrimack's break out season, but I must admit BU really surprised me. They came out hot and then cooled off, but they got very solid play from their underclassmen.

UNH will host Vermont in the first round for the second season in a row. Hopefully we'll have better success this time around. UNH will be a bubble team to make the NCAA tournament if they get upset this year. That would be the ultimate letdown after they showed so much promise midseason. (Why do I feel like I've heard that before... oh.. right...)

Well, we are in the midst of midterm week, but only a few days until spring break. I hope everyone who can stay on campus will be around for the games this weekend. Every year there is a huge drop off in attendance when UNH hosts the first round because so many students leave and season ticket holders aren't required to buy playoff tickets. Hopefully the crowd will be decent enough to give UNH a home ice advantage because with the way they ended the season they could need all the help they can get. Hate to sound like this, I love the team, but we all know the history. Wildcat Blood.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Winning (Like a Pro)

Note: Here is my TNH column for this week. I actually scratched my original idea last minute because I decided to watch a few clips from the latest SNL and they did a sketch where they talked about recent "winners" and "losers" which is what I was going to write, only focused on UNH. I know no one really watches SNL anymore, but I would have felt like I was ripping them off (although  the whole Charlie Sheen thing has been beat to death already...)

Charlie Sheen is a raging lunatic and I do not think I, or most of America for that matter, have ever been so amused by a single celebrity. If you do not know what I am talking about, then you should probably invest in a TV or this crazy new device called a computer. To put it lightly, Sheen probably would not last four seconds at BYU. Sure, any day now Sheen's whole "winning" and "tiger blood" campaign is going to completely disintegrate, probably when another celebrity goes off the deep end, but for now "The Wild Thing" is winning… or is he? The last person I saw go on a rant like Charlie Sheen was a homeless guy on a street corner in Boston. He has either completely lost it or he is secretly a method actor preparing for his next role, a biopic on San Francisco Giants' closer Brian Wilson. Sheen is taking America by storm, and I have to ask myself one question: why?

Charlie Sheen is a coked-out, drug-addicted and mentally unstable anti-role model, yet he has the entire nation listening to his every word. It is the perfect example of the "bad car crash" analogy. It is kind of hard to watch, but you just cannot look away. He cracked one million Twitter followers in a day and landed interviews with just about every major news network.

First of all, a drug-addicted celebrity should not be news. Really, a Hollywood actor is doing drugs and saying strange things? Shocking. What's next? A rock star trashing a hotel room? The United States is involved in several wars, there are union protests throughout the Mid-West, Northern Africa has some pretty crazy demonstrations and anti-governmental violence going on and there are dozens of other basic human rights violations happening all over the world. But maybe that is why Sheen has gotten so much attention; he is distracting us from all our troubles. America loves celebrities like Americans love fast food. I am not going to lie - I have been absolutely fascinated with Sheen over the past week. I have watched all his interviews, I follow him on Twitter, and I even turned my music off the other night so I could watch his Ustream broadcast. Anyone who knows me well knows that I don't turn my music off. Ever. I turn it up to 11. I have found myself quoting him nonstop, I nicknamed one of my roommates Charlie Sheen after reading his drunk texts and started "Charlie Sheen, winning team" chants while playing Beirut the other night. I even tried some tiger blood this weekend, although I'm not sure what he actually does with it. I have never felt so sick in my life, but I do have a strong hankering for raw antelope.

As crazy as Sheen has been, I honestly think there might be a sliver of semi-decent ideology behind all his lunacy. If there is one thing that I have promoted since starting my blog it is to have fun and stay positive because college goes by really fast. Way too fast. I just freaked out a little while typing that. I am not saying to go on a cocaine-filled bender, but I am saying to enjoy yourself while you can. We are in college, so it is okay (or slightly frowned upon, but widely accepted) to partake in a night of drinking. It may not be "winning" up to Charlie Sheen's standards, but it is still a fun time.

I also think that students and UNH as a whole should trying winning in other ways. How many times have you heard someone say "I really want to get a 100 on this exam?" I do not think I have ever heard that during my three years in college. It's always "I'm just hoping for a B" or "I'll be happy if I pass." Sure there are 4.0 students, but the majority of us are not even close. Although I am not one to talk - I just spent my afternoon trying to figure out who is behind the fake Dick Umile Twitter account. I'm not just talking about academically winning though. UNH, it is time to start winning in the community, winning by actually meeting a few financial goals, winning by paying tenured professors what they deserve instead of one-year rental lecturers and who knows, maybe even winning on the ice. Wildcat blood.

Stay classy, not UMassy

Monday, March 7, 2011

10 Questions with The Cave Boys

Yesterday I posted a couple of videos of UNH's own The Cave Boys. After seeing positive responses and downloading their mix tape, which really impressed me, I sent them an email to set up a quick 10 questions Q&A. They decided to answer separately.
NH = New Hampshirite, T = Tony and E = Elliot.

NH: You guys have been making a lot of noise around campus lately and your YouTube videos already have thousands of hits. Did you expect gain so much attention so quickly and have you been recognized around campus?

T: I actually expected we’d get a little bit of attention just because of the fact that we were new kids on campus who made music but I didn’t know it was going to happen as quickly as it actually did. And surprisingly, yes, people do recognize us walking around sometimes haha its definitely happened a lot more this second semester since we’ve been back.

E: I really had no idea what to expect, we never really thought that it would all take off like it did, we knew that there was potential for exposure, but you never know how something will go over with your peers, it was definitely nice getting to a new school where people didn't know Tony and Elliot and only knew us through the music.

NH: What do you enjoy most about making music and performing live?

T: The thing I enjoy most about it is it helps me get away from everything else going on in the world, I like to take advantage of that. Performing live is the same way, but when we’re up on stage, there’s definitely nothing better than seeing other people enjoy the music we make, that’s pretty cool to me.

E: There's nothing better than literally locking yourself in a studio and having your whole world be inside that one room, for that moment nothing else is bothering me and i can just loose myself in a couple beats and for that instance music is all that matters to me.

NH: Do you guys have a song you are most proud of or enjoy performing the most?

T: The song I’m most proud of is definitely ‘Change the World’ because it’s one that we recorded down at a studio in Boston and spent a lot of time on. And my favorite to perform so far is probably ‘Like That’, that one’s always pretty fun.

E: I definitely love Change the World as well, it's the song that kind of changed people's opinions of our work. But I think the song that I've listened to the most is "Come Find Me" it just kind of makes me think of the care-free good old days haha

NH: Do you guys make your own beats, if so what program do you use? If not, how do you access them?

T: It all depends on the beat. Some of our instrumentals we buy online but a lot of them come from our friends that we’ve met through our music that like helping us out. There’s been a couple that we actually ran into on youtube (such as the Rugrats beat we used for ‘Life’s Good’) that we knew would have some potential.

NH: What musicians do you guys listen to or draw influence from?

T: I listen to a lot of Wiz Khalifa right now, watching his whole ‘come-up’ in the music world has influenced me quite a bit, I feel like I’ve learned a lot about ‘creating a lane’ through it all. Also a lot of Bob Marley, Wale, and Curren$y get played on the pod.

E: I love Eminem, I think he's the best to ever do it by far. Nas' Illmatic I can say honestly changed the way I listen to music, and it's probably what made me a fan of hip hop not just a guy who listens to it.

NH: Where did the name "The Cave Boys" come from?

T: I’ll let Tous take that one haha

E: Haha we used to record in a room my mom called "The Man Cave" and then it became The Cave, and now we're The Cave Boys haha. Man Cave for life haha.

NH: You released a mix tape (Now Boarding) back in August as a free download and a 5 song EP under the same name on Itunes in September. Are you working on a full length album with a full release for the future?

T: Actually yeah, we’re working on getting our second tape done sometime in the near future with the name being "This or That". There’s not a final date set yet, but when the timing’s right it’ll happen. It’s a lot more than just a date.

E: When the time is right! We're trying to keep expanding while recording new music its a difficult thing to balance.

NH: You started a campaign to open for Mac Miller and Wiz Khalifa here at UNH. What is the latest word on that?

T: We actually didn’t even start that page believe it or not, haha. Someone else made it for us and it actually ended up helping us out a lot exposure wise. There’s been a good buzz about it on campus, people are curious – including ourselves haha we’re still waiting on the final say with it too, nothing’s finalized yet. Fingers are definitely crossed though, that’d be a pretty big step for us.

E: A huge step! we're also in a few "competitions" where we could win a trip to LA to meet with 1st round records, and another where we could get the opportunity to open for K'Naan

NH: This one is from blog readers: Your video for "Change the World" features a third kid following you around with headphones. Is he a third unlisted member?

T: Haha that’s actually my roommate, Nelson Brown. He’s been one of our good friends through high school and still is today so I mean he’s obviously in the ‘Cave Crew’ but doesn’t actually make music. He was helping out with the video and we thought there was no reason to keep him out of it haha

NH: Any future shows you guys would like to plug?

E: We could be opening for K'Naan, we are opening for Inspectah deck from the Wu Tang Clan and we're going to keep doing colleges around New England!

There you have it. Keep spreading the word and maybe one day SCOPE will be paying The Cave Boys to headline a homecoming show.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Sunday Music: The Cave Boys

I got an email a few days ago about The Cave Boys, who I had heard about a while back, but I never got around to check them out. I was actually pretty surprised, they seem to have a pretty good thing going and I'm all for supporting my fellow students. They're two UNH freshman who are blowing up Christensen and my former stomping grounds of Big Willy (fourth floor A tower represent!) and have spread across campus. I've heard a lot of talk about them around campus recently and they are pushing to open up for Mac Miller and Wiz Khalifa. Here are a few of their more popular songs:

If you're a UNH student and have some music online send it my way - - and I'll post it for my weekend music blogs.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

(Fake) Dick Umile is on Twitter

And his first Tweet was sent to me! You have no idea how bad I wish I started this account. I mean I love UNH hockey, but there is so much potential with this account. So far the tweets have been "meh." I hope the full potential and creativity is reached.

Please UNH. Win tonight and keep winning. I don't want to have to write a post about another late season, heart-breaking collapse. I know this is still the regular season, but we need some momentum heading in the playoffs. Go 'Cats, let's drink some Eagle Blood tonight. Winning.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Nice Parking Job

If I keep getting pictures (from my own or from readers) I will keep doing Friday Caption "Contests."

I saw this bike parked in A-Lot this morning. I'd like to think that someone biked to A-Lot and then walked to their classes. Something tells this may be a result of Post-Thirsty Thursday activities. Sadly, they didn't have a parking pass so they probably got a $75 ticket... and another $50 for winter parking ban... and another  $50 for not having proper safety displays or whatever they think of. Do you get the joke? UNH parking sucks. Maybe the bike is there because they can't drive because they can't afford all the parking tickets? Maybe it is a form of silent protest? Down with parking! United we stand.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

The Dude Hates BC

Even The Dude hates the fucking Eagles.

Deja Vu. For the second year in a row the final UNH and BC series will determine the Hockey East regular season title. While regular season titles are for housewives and little girls, it is still a big deal. But we all know playoff time is where it really matters and having the top seed can be a big advantage. Last year UNH only needed a tie in either game for the title, this year it will take two ties or one win. I believe that we will win. Whether it is tonight at BC or tomorrow night at the Whit. I must say, it is awesome that UNH got NESNplus for tonight only so campus residents can watch the game at BC. It's kind of lame it got bumped for a spring training baseball game, although I'm a huge Sox fan and I understand why. 

Have a good weekend and Go 'Cats! Rough 'em up, rough 'em up! BC SUCKS! 

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Thanks, but no thanks.

So, I get out of class today and open my Internet browser to see quite an interesting and surprising message in my inbox. It was from TNH's Executive Editor saying that the Union Leader called him and they wanted to rerun my last column. The catch was that they would only run the column with my real name. It was a tough call, but I decided that another year of blogging anonymity was more important to me than the UL running the column. Plus, there is a lot of stuff I've written in the past that I don't want my name to be connected with. When I started the blog I decided that being anonymous would allow me to write and say things I wouldn't necessarily want future employees finding out about. While it may hurt my reputation and ethos in some respects, I know that the blog is better for it. (Plus we all know the UL is super conservative and they only want to run it to point another finger at UNH's terrible liberalness in a way I didn't intend.) Also, Hunter S Thompson, one of my literary heros, once called the Union Leader the worst newspaper in America. While I'm not comparing myself to Thompson in any way, I can see where he came from. TNH and the blog are fine by me and anyone who wants to read what is really going on with UNH knows where to look.

For example, today the Union Leader ran an editorial called "Lunacy at UNH" how UNH professors are asking for way too much money. Meanwhile, President Huddleston makes well over $300,000, which is more than 10 times the lowest paid "professor" (read: lecturer). UNH has a recent trend of forcing, or strongly pushing, tenured (and great) professors into early retirement so they can hire lecturers on one year contracts and only pay them a highschool teacher's salary, or less (something like $28-32,000/year). (On that topic, everyone points fingers at Coach Umile for his $300,000+ salary, but in his defense, our hockey program makes this school a heck of a lot of money in more ways than you think.)

So you need to ask yourself, what is more important: Better professors or UNH saving more money?  Just like I said in that very column: "Universities have become giant machines like most of the corporations our professors tell us to watch out for." Better professors lead to smarter students who, in theory, will make more money. One of UNH's shortcomings is alumni donations.  One of New Hampshire's biggest shortcomings is funding for UNH. It's a vicious circle, huh?

Stay classy, not UMassy.

PS: Check out this new song written by a UNH student and blog reader:

John will be playing at The Knot tomorrow (Friday) night at 10 PM. If you're 21 be there.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

I thought this was cool.

My friend made this and I thought it was cool. Yeah, the title pretty much said that.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Oh and thanks to everyone who spread that last column around on the twitterverse.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

College Professors: Are they Fair and Balanced?

For the last three years I have been attending classes all over this campus. I am a history major, but I have always tried to pick a wide variety of classes for my general education courses and other electives. I have also begun working towards a minor in communications and took a few upper-level English writing courses, aside from the general education requirements. I have taken many courses across the curriculum, although I have never stepped foot inside McConnell Hall, so I cannot speak on what that part of the student body has been taught. My history courses have ranged from ancient civilizations to modern U.S., which is my focus. Of all the classes I have taken during my time here, I feel as though I have been preached a few overlying messages: Fox News is the devil! Do not let yourself be brainwashed by corporate propaganda! We don't get paid enough money! Sometimes I feel a little sorry for the conservative students on campus and what they have to listen to all day.

While I tend to agree with most of my professors on those ideas, even I feel that sometimes our professors at UNH can be overly liberal with their beliefs and teaching agenda. Politically speaking, I am a pretty liberal person, but I also prefer not to have my professor's personal political beliefs affect the content of a class. When a professor tells the class "We won't spend too much time on President Reagan (or Bill Clinton or George W. Bush) because I am too bias to give a fair lecture," that really pisses me off. I have had all three of those situations happen to me with different professors. I am paying thousands of dollars to go to school here and you cannot give a fair lecture on major presidents of the United States? I am a modern U.S. history major and, whether you like Reagan, Clinton and Bush or not, they are incredibly important to my field of study. I am sorry, UNH, but that does not sound too fair and balanced to me. I cannot learn everything from Wikipedia, just a large majority of it.

Everyone knows that Fox News has a conservative agenda, but so does almost every other news channel, whether they are liberal or conservative. I have had professor after professor of all subjects speak out against Fox News, but never once have I heard a professor say anything negative about MSNBC's liberal side. MSNBC has tried to become the liberal news channel, but I find myself watching and paying more attention to Fox News than MSNBC. Granted, I think that is more for the entertainment value of watching Bill O'Reilly telling his guests to shut up or Glenn Beck creating some conspiracy theory, all the while being secretly terrified that thousands, if not millions, of people believe him.

Then I have professors telling me to be aware of major corporations, media conglomerations and their tricky marketing campaigns. But then I go out to the Durham Book Exchange to buy my semesters worth of books, and when I finally sit down to study the night before the first exam of the year I see that my professor co-authored or edited the book, or it was written by one of his or her old graduate school buddies. Universities have become giant machines like most of the corporations our professors tell us to watch out for.

I do not want to come off as a conspiracy theorist (although I do have a life goal of gaining access to Area 51), but I think it is important for students to step back once in a while and really think about what we are being taught. One major learning tool that has been beaten relentlessly into my brain has been to look for bias in every source, document and article I read, and try to be fair and balanced with my analysis and interpretations. But is it truly fair for students to be expected to do that when the professor directs the class in one direction? I believe overly liberal or conservative professors can be just as damaging as overly liberal or conservative news channels, especially for students who are too afraid to question the answers. I will be the first to admit I have an open bias and agenda on my blog and in my columns - we all do in every conversation we have. But when those biases or agendas keep professors from giving a fair and balanced lecture it is not any different than a conservative school board editing what is said in high school textbooks.

Stay classy, not UMassy,
The New Hampshirite