Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Winning (Like a Pro)

Note: Here is my TNH column for this week. I actually scratched my original idea last minute because I decided to watch a few clips from the latest SNL and they did a sketch where they talked about recent "winners" and "losers" which is what I was going to write, only focused on UNH. I know no one really watches SNL anymore, but I would have felt like I was ripping them off (although  the whole Charlie Sheen thing has been beat to death already...)

Charlie Sheen is a raging lunatic and I do not think I, or most of America for that matter, have ever been so amused by a single celebrity. If you do not know what I am talking about, then you should probably invest in a TV or this crazy new device called a computer. To put it lightly, Sheen probably would not last four seconds at BYU. Sure, any day now Sheen's whole "winning" and "tiger blood" campaign is going to completely disintegrate, probably when another celebrity goes off the deep end, but for now "The Wild Thing" is winning… or is he? The last person I saw go on a rant like Charlie Sheen was a homeless guy on a street corner in Boston. He has either completely lost it or he is secretly a method actor preparing for his next role, a biopic on San Francisco Giants' closer Brian Wilson. Sheen is taking America by storm, and I have to ask myself one question: why?

Charlie Sheen is a coked-out, drug-addicted and mentally unstable anti-role model, yet he has the entire nation listening to his every word. It is the perfect example of the "bad car crash" analogy. It is kind of hard to watch, but you just cannot look away. He cracked one million Twitter followers in a day and landed interviews with just about every major news network.

First of all, a drug-addicted celebrity should not be news. Really, a Hollywood actor is doing drugs and saying strange things? Shocking. What's next? A rock star trashing a hotel room? The United States is involved in several wars, there are union protests throughout the Mid-West, Northern Africa has some pretty crazy demonstrations and anti-governmental violence going on and there are dozens of other basic human rights violations happening all over the world. But maybe that is why Sheen has gotten so much attention; he is distracting us from all our troubles. America loves celebrities like Americans love fast food. I am not going to lie - I have been absolutely fascinated with Sheen over the past week. I have watched all his interviews, I follow him on Twitter, and I even turned my music off the other night so I could watch his Ustream broadcast. Anyone who knows me well knows that I don't turn my music off. Ever. I turn it up to 11. I have found myself quoting him nonstop, I nicknamed one of my roommates Charlie Sheen after reading his drunk texts and started "Charlie Sheen, winning team" chants while playing Beirut the other night. I even tried some tiger blood this weekend, although I'm not sure what he actually does with it. I have never felt so sick in my life, but I do have a strong hankering for raw antelope.

As crazy as Sheen has been, I honestly think there might be a sliver of semi-decent ideology behind all his lunacy. If there is one thing that I have promoted since starting my blog it is to have fun and stay positive because college goes by really fast. Way too fast. I just freaked out a little while typing that. I am not saying to go on a cocaine-filled bender, but I am saying to enjoy yourself while you can. We are in college, so it is okay (or slightly frowned upon, but widely accepted) to partake in a night of drinking. It may not be "winning" up to Charlie Sheen's standards, but it is still a fun time.

I also think that students and UNH as a whole should trying winning in other ways. How many times have you heard someone say "I really want to get a 100 on this exam?" I do not think I have ever heard that during my three years in college. It's always "I'm just hoping for a B" or "I'll be happy if I pass." Sure there are 4.0 students, but the majority of us are not even close. Although I am not one to talk - I just spent my afternoon trying to figure out who is behind the fake Dick Umile Twitter account. I'm not just talking about academically winning though. UNH, it is time to start winning in the community, winning by actually meeting a few financial goals, winning by paying tenured professors what they deserve instead of one-year rental lecturers and who knows, maybe even winning on the ice. Wildcat blood.

Stay classy, not UMassy


  1. long time reader here, but I just gotta say great content and quality lately. keep it up!

  2. the new hampshirite is winning.