Like a Pro: Books, beer cans and everything in between

UNH, it’s been a wild ride. Four years jam-packed with all-nighters, cram sessions, essays galore and, of course, weekend parties. It’s been three years of me writing these columns every Sunday night or Monday morning. According to my count, this right here is my 76^th, and final, “Like a Pro” column. Oh, and by the way I don’t call them “Like a Pro” because I’m full of myself; it’s an inside joke and maybe we’ll get to that explanation later on (cough hint hint cough).

My fellow 2012 classmates, thank you for everything. I am proud to call you my classmates, and even a few of you my friends. We will all do great things in the future and like our commencement speaker will probably say, “It’s our turn to go out in the world and make a positive difference.” It might be very cliché, but it is also very true.

I have made many great friends over the past four years and it is sad that our time here has come to an end. I am very appreciative of my education, but my new friends and the memories we’ve shared together, from our first days in Williamson up through graduation, is what I will really cherish down the road.

To be fair, college has not been all great memories, fun times and drunken shenanigans. There will definitely be a handful of things I will never miss. Scantron exams. Those stupid little bubbles just staring back at you almost like they know you skipped the last two weeks of classes because it is just a useless general education course. 

Blue books. I’ve filled out page after page of Blue Books for the last four years, and after my last final next week, I will never have to write in one again. Thinking about being done with Blue Books makes graduation slightly better. 

Essays. These are even worse than Blue Books because you actually have to put more than an hour or so into this form of BS. I’m actually multi-tasking this column and my last college essay ever, and it is rather bittersweet. Bitter because I have enjoyed writing a few papers, and sweet because I’ve despised writing way more than those few I actually enjoyed. And it’s my last one. Unless I end up in grad school. Crap. 

Living with other college students. Don’t get me wrong, I love my roommates. They’re my best friends and we have had tons of great memories. But college students are dirty, messy, smelly, and they may or may not have on the same pair of underwear for the fourth straight day. This is totally acceptable for most kids during college. Not having to put up with smelly, drunk people (including myself) might be nice.

Okay, so there are only a small handful of things I will actually miss about college, and that last one doesn’t really count. All of the best moments, my greatest memories and fun times far outweigh all of the exams, essays and dirty dishes. 

Personally, college has been an amazing experience. Reality has set in and I’m ready for the next chapter of my life. Or I could apply to graduate school, but I really like the idea of being done with schoolwork forever. Victories from in the classroom to the Beirut table and everything in between will be some of my greatest college memories. Over four years ago I was applying to college, and hopefully, four years from now, I’ll look back and feel just as accomplished as I do now. Something about this paragraph seems "telling." Try figuring it out and maybe you’ll be pleasantly surprised (cough another hint here...)

One more thing to you all: Thank you. Thank you all for reading my rants and ramblings. This column and my blog have allowed my college experience to be so much more than just books and beer cans. Without readers, whether you love or hate my work, you all made this possible for me. I’d like to think that my writing impacted a few people, maybe even made a difference on this campus, but if it didn’t, at least I know that it definitely helped me along the way.

Good luck out there my fellow graduates. Cheers to you all. To the non-graduates here, keep doing your thing and keep UNH awesome. And lastly, one final time, say it with me: 

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Some advice to the lucky ones who aren't graduating...

In less than one month I will be graduating, but most of you reading this will have at least another year or more here at UNH. I have experienced a lot of different things during my time here and I think it would be only fair to use one of my last columns to share some helpful advice with you all.

I know what you might be thinking, “Why would we want to take advice from a buffoon of a student who may or may not drink too much.” Well first of all, it is not a drinking problem until you graduate, so the joke is on you. Secondly, and if you have not figured this out by now you may need some language comprehension classes, but a lot of what I have written over the years is in character, sarcastic and satire. Well, other than the whole drinking stuff. That part is real. Anyways, here is some of what I think is the best advice I have to offer.

If a professor ever tells you, “This is not a paper/assignment/project that you can complete the night before it’s due” they are wrong. Just about any assignment can be completed in “A” fashion the night and/or early morning before it is due. Just do not make a habit of it or you may develop insomnia. I cannot tell you how many times I turned in a paper literally still warm from being freshly printed.

Try something new. Scratch that; try as many news things as you possibly can. I never expected to write a blog or a newspaper column, and I think that this turned out pretty well for me. Do not limit yourself to your comfort zone. I know a lot of people will say this about college, but I feel so many students still never step outside their regular routines.

Try to dedicate one night or weekend a year to become your personal ultimate college story. Everyone needs to graduate with his or her one go-to story to share to close friends for the future. This does not need to be a party or drinking story, rather it should be something that would be unusual for your lifestyle.

Study abroad for a semester. Even doing one of the shorter summer or J-term trips would be worth the experience and it is much cheaper than traveling on your own. Not studying abroad for a semester is probably my biggest regret about college. I have many friends who took advantage of the opportunity and I know they are happy that they did. However, I would not recommend doing it second semester senior year because you are going to want to be in Durham with all of your closest friends for your last few months of college.

Similar to the last one, another regret of mine is that I never took a big road trip with a group of friends for spring break, winter break or the summer. Sure, I took weekend trips to other colleges, but I would have loved to take some type of road trip with my roommates.

Try to pile up at least one or two minors. I will be graduating with three unfinished minors, in political science, English writing and communications because I could never make up my mind or commit to anything. I took more classes for my major than I needed, but part of that was that there were so many interesting ones, I could not resist.

This one comes directly from personal experience, but I think it is something everyone should do. Write on your own, outside of classes. I do not mean to keep a journal or diary or to write personal essays or poems. Just write. Keep track of funny things that happen to you or things you see, write down ideas, thoughts or future goals. It will help you stay organized, clear your mind and actually help reduce stress. Take 10 or 15 minutes just to write, think and clear your mind. It will pay off when it comes to studying or writing an essay because it will help you focus on the task at hand.

Finally, when you are in my position and preparing to graduate, make sure that you have as little regrets as possible. Make your own personal college bucket list because you will be able to do things in college that you will never be able to experience again. This may seem pretty cliché, but it is true. Enjoy your time here, because it really does go by faster than you expect.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Looking back to move forward

Over three and a half years ago on a hot and humid August morning I remember pulling onto campus with my mom in her blue Ford Freestyle. We followed the signs that directed us towards Williamson Hall and we pulled up on the sidewalk and began unpacking. I remember exchanging awkward glances and head nods with different kids on my floor, a few of who I currently share an apartment with today. We had an extremely tight floor, which really helped mold my non-academic career at UNH. It has been an absolutely insane few years for me at UNH and I do not plan to change that for my last couple of months here.

On of the most common things I’ve written, whether it is in this column or on my blog, is that I would not start worrying about life in the “real world” until the second semester senior year. Now that I am a second semester senior, even now that my final spring break has ended, I can say that not much has changed. Am I worried about my future? No, not really. Am I anxious about finding a job out there? That is starting to build a little more with each passing week. Am I going to miss UNH, the friends I’ve made here and all our shenanigans? Absolutely.

I have always been the easygoing “one-day at a time” type of person. For example, I commonly say “well, I can always just start that paper tomorrow.” I am honestly not sure if it is good or bad that I am like this, but it definitely makes things a lot less stressful, which is a huge bonus in college and my grades have always been really well. If there is one thing I have noticed that hurt people in their college careers, it is not being able to appropriately deal with the levels of stress they encounter.

UNH has been such a special place for me and with graduation (that evil “G” word that should not be spoken) right around the corner it is safe to say that I would not have wanted to go anywhere else. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t change anything. To put it simply I wish I could have done more during my time here, to have made a bigger impact on the UNH community.

UNH is far from perfect, but it has been such a perfect fit for me. I’m more educated, well rounded and I can honestly say that the most important thing that college has taught me is to think on my own. But to put that in even simpler terms, college had taught me how to think. That is really important.

Side note to the Union Leader: notice how I said UNH has taught me “how” to think and not “what” to think. There is a major difference. UNH has done more for this state and our young people than the Union Leader could ever dream of doing.

Academics aside, UNH has done even better things for me. Most important to me is my close group of friends. These are people who I know I will remain in contact with for the rest of my life no matter where our different paths take us. A major knock against UNH that many people have is that we lack a strong sense of community and traditions. But UNH is what you make of it and that freedom is undeniable. Whether your best friend is a specific carrel in Dimond or your floor mates from freshman year, UNH is everything you allow it to be.

As a senior who is about to move on I would like to issue a challenge to the underclassman here. Never be satisfied, always strive for more out of yourself, your school and this state. UNH is a fantastic place, but it is up the students to make it even better. Even if it is something simple like changing quiet hours, the students have proven that we have the upper hand against the administration if you use it correctly.

Continue to make the UNH community stronger by creating new traditions and our school will become impossible for the state to ignore. UNH already deserves a higher respect from the state, we are its flagship university, but until the voters and the people in Concord, and sadly the people who run the Union Leader because it is the state’s only major newspaper realize that, UNH is going to have to keep fighting for itself. The administration cannot do that alone, so student support is absolutely necessary. Keep fighting, do not be satisfied and demand respect because UNH deserves it.

Stay classy, not UMassy

Like a Pro and other thoughts

My column in today's TNH is simply a revised, and personally a much better version, of the piece I wrote Sunday night about attending UNH hockey games over the past four years. I think TNH presented it very well I must say, choosing to highlight the line "Senior Night is for the players, but as a graduating senior I couldn't help but feel slightly emotional as I stood in the student section one last time. I think it means something to all of us who have been there throughout the years" as the column's feature quote. A few times (maybe just 2 or 3 ever) they've chosen quotes that missed my intended point, but this one was spot on.

I also had a couple comments about today's issue. First of all, there was an article about UNH Twitter accounts and how UNH students are using Twitter for news and those types of things. But the article failed to mention my account, which is about to break 1,400 followers. Instead it focused on @PrezHuddleston,  @UNHswag, @UNHCowbell, @UNHProblems and @UofNH. While those accounts are great, funny or informative, when it comes to UNH news it's my account that people turn to. (I know Prez Huddleston and UNHCowbell personally and they're great.) Not to sound sour or jealous, but when I meet people the first thing I'm usually told is something like "I get all my UNH info from you, how do you hear about everything before everyone else?" I don't care that I wasn't contacted or anything, but I think the fact that I wasn't even mentioned reflects poorly on the author.

Secondly, I was mentioned in a letter to the editor about Barstool. This should be old news by now, but I just wanted to clarify that I am NOT a Barstool supporter. I simply think both sides have taken things too far. That being said I could care less about whether or not they come here. I won't go and I don't care.

If you'd like to read my revised column, follow the jump. (Read more link)

Like a Pro: Applying my Knowledge

One thing I've learned to do really well as a liberal arts student at UNH is analyze pieces of literature or history and draw connections between them. Seeing that I am graduating in just a few short months, let's see if I can apply this extremely useful skill. To make it easily relatable, I have decided to take major pieces of literature and pop culture, such as popular books, movies and TV shows, and draw connections to my time spent here at UNH.

Let's start off with one of the most important books in the history of American literature, F. Scott Fitzgerald's "The Great Gatsby." This relates to hosting a huge party and ignoring everything around you. The book takes place in the "roaring 20s" which were quickly ended by the Great Depression. In college we party to ignore stuff like exams, essays and presentations. Also, "Gatsby" takes place during prohibition, so one could argue this is similar to hosting a party of underage students.

Next up we have Hunter S. Thompson's "The Rum Diary," and I mean the awesome book and not the crappy movie. I guess the title really says it all: let's get really cheap drinks at the bar and see what happens. Sounds like a solid Tuesday to me.

I can't go any further without mentioning the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, whether it is the books or the movies. This epic adventure is representative of the walk of shame. Just trying to make it across campus without being spotted by the last person you would want to see you. Sometimes the invisibility ring would be very useful.

Next, there is the TV show "Lost," which may relate to your thought process during the Lord of the Rings following a night of "The Rum Diary." "Lost" is simply trying to figure out what happened the previous night. What are these numbers on my hand? Is it just her phone number or something bigger?

Dante's Inferno – OK, I haven't actually read this. I just wanted to sound smart.

Many college students go through some sort of environmental phase and this is when "The Lorax" comes into play. Also, if you have never taken NR 435 with Professor Bill Mautz than you are missing out on a great reading of this Dr. Seuss classic. That was one of the most memorable individual classes in my UNH career.

The day for your big presentation has finally come, but you can't say your name without stuttering or breaking into a cold sweat, much like King George in "The King's Speech." Although, in this case the cold sweat may be brought on by a massive hangover.

"The King's Speech" actually correlates with "The Simpsons." If I may quote Homer J. Simpson from episode number 171 ("Homer vs. the 18th Amendment"): "To alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." Would you have stuttered and sweated if you weren't hung over? Probably not, but hey, there is a bottle of cheap vodka in your room to help you forget about messing up so badly.

Of course, not all of these have to relate to alcohol, so how about the TV show "Arrested Development" and that 35-year-old career graduate student in your Intro to Geography class? Sometimes I have to bite my lip to not call him Buster even though it's not his real name. Or you can be an extreme alcoholic like Lucille. So yes, pretty much all of these relate to alcohol.

The Catcher In The Rye – You're all a bunch of phonies!

It's time for a childhood throwback with the cartoon movie "The Brave Little Toaster." If you have ever seen this movie you will recall the terrifying junkyard scene. This represents my apartment. We almost got a health code violation and we did not even know that was possible. It's not our fault we recycle a ton, but don't take it out enough … OK, yes, that is completely our fault.

And finally, the ultimate show for drawing out connections to real life, "Seinfeld." The connections really are endless with this show, so let's just call that one evil professor who was way too strict and unforgiving "The Soup Nazi." You were in the hospital with your sick grandmother? No extension for you!

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Senior Gift Ideas

Monday morning the new UNH Twitter account, @UofNH, submitted the following tweet: "Attn #UNH Seniors! What would you like to leave as your Senior Gift? Let us know your ideas! Please use hashtag #UNHSeniorGift." UNH Class of 2012, this is our chance to leave our mark on this fine institution.

For the past four years, or more for the super and super, super seniors, UNH has provided us with an education to be successful in this devastating and depressing economy. Or at least they have convinced us that we can find jobs out there.

Personally, I'm not so sure. But hey, that's what graduate school is for, right? Delaying the inevitable for another couple years – or however long it takes. There's always mom and dad's basement and managerial positions at McDonalds. How do you say "would you like fries with that" in Spanish?

Anyway, back on topic: The 2012 UNH senior gift. Personally, I don't want to be remembered for a little granite bench or simply contributing to the new Peter T. Paul business school.

I'm a dreamer and I want our gift to be something that we can be proud of, that our state can be proud of and that the university can be proud of. Of course, that might be tough. The state obviously isn't very proud of us at all – I mean, they already cut our funding in half, and I'm willing to bet that the largest newspaper in the state has never written a positive article on UNH.

So what are the major things that UNH is known for? Well, if you read the papers we're known for being a party school, buying lots of beer, having high arrest numbers, disruptive concert crowds, not getting along well with the town of Durham, having poor diversity and race relations, a Greek system that loses a charter seemingly every week, and we have a pretty decent hockey team.

Out of all of those things that UNH is known for, our hockey team and particularly the state-of-the-art Whittemore Center, which is one of the very few Olympic sized rinks in the country, is something to truly be proud of. However, for the Whitt to be truly labeled "state-of-the-art" I believe that it is missing one key feature: a video replay scoreboard. I mean even the decrepit old Alfond Arena up in Orono, Maine, has a video board. Think of how much easier it will be to harass our favorite referees like the Hanson brothers when we have video evidence on our side.
Listen, the orange light bright scoreboard is unique to the Whitt, but it just doesn't do a good enough job. Sure the stick figures are entertaining, but player pictures are basically undecipherable and its technology sophistication is that of a 5-year-old's play toy.

You're probably thinking to yourself, how would this benefit the university as a whole? Well, let me put it this way: what other aspect of UNH draws more attention? The hockey program is nationally known, regularly sells out home games, makes TV appearances, and draws students from across the country as well as internationally. And while a video board may be expensive, it's a heck of a lot cheaper than a new football stadium. A replay board could also serve as a visual component to concerts, trade shows and other events held at the Whittemore Center.

If you're not yet sold on the idea of a video replay board there are many other options for the class of 2012's senior gift. This is our chance to come together and give something back to the community for a change. Another common idea could be setting up a scholarship fund for future students from tough economic backgrounds – in this economy and with rising tuition costs, cases like that will only become more likely. Other ideas could be murals, memorials, database subscriptions, specific renovations, and sustainability upgrades such as solar panels.

Bike racks and benches have been done numerous times – lets leave a gift unique to UNH and unique to the class of 2012.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Like a Pro: That Guy

One of the most common phrases to hear around a college campus is "that guy." Or more specifically "don't be that guy."

We have all said it, and most likely whether you want to admit it or not, we have all been "that guy" at least once before. I know I have, but we'll get to that later. There are many situations when "that guy" is muttered, or shouted, and in order to try and make UNH a friendlier place, I have devised a list of suggestions to help prevent you from ever being "that guy" and, yes ladies, "that guy" is not gender bias. No double standards here.

Whether it is in the classroom, at a party or the bar "that guy" is always present. He may not be noticeable at first, but have patience, he's there waiting for the right moment to strike mixed emotions from those around him.

The first one on my list is the guy who always asks a question at the end of class, especially when the professor says, "if you don't have any questions I guess we're done a little early." You think to yourself that you're done for the day and you already have thrown your notebook in the bag, but no. "That guy" raises his hand and, as the rest of the class let's out an annoyed sigh, he asks a question that was already covered during the lecture and it spurs the professor to repeat everything he/she already said for 10 minutes because "that guy" was either A) sleeping; B) too hungover to pay attention; or C) texting a girl who has no interest in him.

Another "that guy" in the classroom is the student who raises his hand to answer every question in class and is usually wrong. Even the professor has that upset look when he's the only kid raising his hand.
He then gives a five minute, long-winded and highly verbose, yet inaccurate response that prompts someone in the back of the room to make a Billy Madison reference. Although, on second thought, I think I get more annoyed at "that guy" who is always right and gives the answer in the smuggest way possible. The rest of the class probably knew the answer too, but we were lazy and raising our hand takes effort.

The last "that guy" from class is the kid who shows up every Monday and Friday morning bragging about how much he drank or the girls he hooked up with over the weekend or Thursday night. Shut up dude, we all know you got drunk off four Keystone Lights and played Call of Duty by yourself all night. Either that or you actually did go to a party, but you spent the night puking your brains out and angering all your friends.

Now that we've covered the "that guys" of the classroom, we can move on to the other part of college – the partying. Okay, so this one probably doesn't qualify as one, but do you ever feel like no matter where you go out to party, whether it's at a friend's, a frat or the bars you always see the same kid? You probably don't even know his name, but he always seems to be the guy to do something dumb or piss off a bunch of people. So maybe this one should be on it's own, but don't be "that guy" who invites "that guy" to your party. Follow?

For all of you 21-year-olds out there, don't be "that guy" who yells at the bartender when service is taking too long. A) The bar is packed and he's swamped and is working non-stop. B) If he actually hears you he won't serve you at all and C) If you where him you'd serve all the pretty girls first too.

I'm running out of space, so lightning round time. Don't be "that guy" with the annoying girlfriend who sleeps over every single night. Don't be "that girl" who drinks too much, cries and then pukes. Don't be "that guy" who is 10 minutes late to every class. Don't be "that guy" who literally gets piss drunk – you're a big boy now; you can use the potty like the rest of us. Don't be "that guy" who gets mad at the party host when it's time to leave. It's called respect, have it.

The list can go on forever so I guess what I should say is to really think before you do something because nobody wants to be that guy.

Stay classy, not UMassy

Like a Pro: Ten Years

This is my first TNH column of the year. When I woke up last Sunday, I just started writing it without even knowing what I was going to say. It just spilled out. I already wrote the posted the main idea of it Sunday morning, but this is the full version. I hope you take something from it, because I know I got a lot from writing it. 

There are a handful of days, moments really, that I will never forget.
I will never forget when my friends and I got sent to the principal's office in first grade for being too rough at recess. I will never forget certain sporting events I've watched or attended. I'll never forget special moments with my parents and grandparents, my brother's wedding, or the first time I held my niece. But there are three moments in my life that have forever changed me and everyone I know – both in the way we think and the way we live.

The first of those moments was September 11, 2001. Ten years ago.

It was fourth period – social studies – and I was in the sixth grade. The teachers decided to tell us about the attacks on the World Trade Center about an hour after it happened. I had never had to think about things outside my own bubble before, but that changed when I saw my teacher frantically making phone calls as we entered the room. Her sister was a flight attendant who was safely grounded in Texas.
My teacher brought up CNN.com and showed us pictures of what had happened. We couldn't even begin to comprehend the situation, why would someone crash a plane into a building? There is one thing that is clear about that day. Whether you are a conservative or liberal, a gun-slinger or a peace-loving hippie, a Christian, a Muslim or an atheist, your life dramatically changed that day.

In ways we don't even realize, or want to realize, our lives have changed. Whether you knew someone involved or not your world had shifted. That day impacted me in more ways than I imagined it could have when I first heard the news and in ways I am still discovering 10 years later.

The second moment that I will never forget was the morning of my 13th birthday in 2003. I came downstairs and my parents were watching the news and drinking their morning coffee. It was nothing out of the usual, but something felt different.

I looked at the TV and saw that the United States had begun bombing Iraq and "Operation Iraqi Freedom," which was the "liberty cabbage" way of saying that we were at war. It was the first time in my life where I was old enough to remember or reflect on, my country was at war. As the days passed, the war progressed. Months and years went by and the war had spread. As Hunter S. Thompson so accurately put it on September 12th, 2001, “We are At War now -- with somebody -- and we will stay at War with that mysterious Enemy for the rest of our lives… We are going to punish somebody for this attack, but just who or what will be blown to smithereens for it is hard to say. Maybe Afghanistan, maybe Pakistan or Iraq, or possibly all three at once.” Ten years later and he could not have been more correct.

The third moment that I'll never forget came on an August afternoon in 2010. I had been working that morning and when I got home I opened up my Twitter feed. There was a tweet from WMUR that said a Kensington, New Hampshire Army Ranger was killed in Afghanistan. I had grown up in Kensington; it is a stereotypical small New Hampshire town growing from farms to big developments where everyone knew everyone, especially when I was younger.

I feared the worst and when I clicked the link I saw a familiar face. He had been on my brother's little league team years before and our moms knew each other quite well. It was the first time, and hopefully the only time, that someone I knew died in war. I had friends who knew him much better than I did, but it still hit me hard. It changed my views and made me question certain things.

But one thing is for certain, for as long as America is at war I will always support the troops, no matter what reasons for war our government gives us.

I know this is being distributed a few days later, but when I woke up Sunday morning and began writing this, not even with the initial intention of it being a column, I couldn't get a quote out of my head. It actually comes from rapper Talib Kweli: "Stand tall or don't stand at all."

Stay classy, not UMassy.

SCOPE releases survey and WeekieLeak Part III

SCOPE has released their summer survey and they want to hear who UNH students want for their fall shows when the semester starts up. They haven't had as much feedback, probably due to the fact that we're away from school, but they take these surveys seriously and this is your chance to tell them who you want to perform at UNH. Last semester the number one vote getter was Kid Cudi who SCOPE couldn't afford, but they did get Wiz Khalifa, who was the second vote getter... (then again, maybe I don't want you to vote. Never mind there is no survey, don't click on that link!) Whenever people complain about the president or any elected official I ask if they voted, and if they didn't I tell them they have no right to complain. So if you're planning on complaining about SCOPE's next show make sure you do your duty and fill out the survey. I know many of you will probably claim that SCOPE ruined your senior year because they didn't get your favorite artist who: A) either costs more then all of SACF could afford or B) No one else has heard of - but at least if you fill out the survey you can say that you tried to make a difference. In all fairness SCOPE has done pretty well covering different genres over the past few years. If I may make a prediction, I wouldn't be surprised if they went in a dubstep/dance/trance direction for one show and then some sort of rock show, possibly country or folk rock or some sort of alternative rock. To my knowledge they haven't done anything like recently that and those genres have a growing interest among college students. So UNH, it's up to you to tell SCOPE who you want. Please don't disappoint me, I have a tiny bit of faith left.

As for this week's "WeekieLeak" for the summer project, you may be interested to know that it will allow for my for more serious posts, and particularly my TNH columns, to be presented in a more professional manner. I'm probably going to run out of ideas for weekly leaks and hints before summer ends or the new project in launched, but I'll try to keep this going. Until next week,

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Summer Project WeekieLeak part 2

"I'm taking on this project like a pro. No fear, this blog will remain the unchanged."

Do you get the hint? Eh? It's in the wording... oooohhhh.... 

We're slowly inching closer to the twitter/facebook sneak peak, so follow/like/friend us if you want to get that chance!

Beating Stress like a Pro

It is a stressful time at UNH right now. As a university, we are facing huge budget cuts that could deeply affect the future of this institution and its contributions to this state. The professors and faculty members have to fear for their jobs and the thought that they could be exchanged for less experienced, less talented, less qualified and less engaging replacements. Most importantly, because this is a university where education is the primary goal, it is that time of the year students begin to stress over finals, grades, internships, and graduation. In just a few weeks, the class of 2011 will have graduated and be off into the real world. Which, on a personal note, deeply terrifies me because that means I will officially be a senior. (Edit: And now President Mark Huddleston is stressing over the fact that his faculty may not have any confidence in him. It's okay Pres, I have the perfect stress relief medication for you...)

Over the weekend, I was asked a handful of times about what I am planning on doing after I graduate. There may be nothing more I despise than hearing that question. Let me just focus on my schoolwork for now, or at least until my senior year is underway. Who knows? I really like it here. Maybe I'll just have to become a career student. Although, due to the rising tuition costs, delaying my eventual graduation would not be economically feasible or sustainable for very long.

Anyways, back to the main idea of this column: stress. Registration, final exams, projects, and term papers. Fun fun fun fun. For a college student there are two things that are the devil: stress and procrastination. Well, those and STDs, but that is not what I am here to write about.

If you are able to avoid stress and procrastination, this time of the year should be nothing to worry about. It is important to stay on top of your work, but it is also important to avoid overdoing it. Getting proper sleep and knowing when to call it quits on a cram session can be equally beneficial for doing well on exams and other class work.

I have a few ways to beat that stress and avoiding the evilness of procrastination that have worked well for me over the past three years. Although, maybe I am not the best person to be giving advice since, after all, I am writing this late Sunday night, now Monday morning, and I have an 8 a.m. exam rapidly approaching, but I am not too worried about it. Other than getting enough sleep, setting small goals and rewarding yourself are great ways to beat the duo of stress and procrastination. If you have a couple hours of work to do, break it up over the afternoon with small activities to rest your mind in between study sessions.

I also recommend finding the perfect place on campus to get your work done and to relax. Personally, I enjoy finding an armchair in Dimond and dragging it to a secluded corner. All I need is a cup of coffee and my chair and I am all set for an afternoon of cramming. And who says cramming is bad? I have had professor after professor who claims that cramming will never work. Well, tell that to my GPA. Other great places include your department's study lounge or library if you are lucky enough to have one.

As for relaxing, College Woods has become a personal favorite of mine. I am a big outdoors person and taking a stroll through there with a few friends can be mentally refreshing this time of the year.

Use the weekends and the few nights off you may have left to reward yourself a little and that might actually help the motivation factor. If, you know, getting good grades is not enough motivation for you already. Tell yourself, "if I get this done know, I can go out Friday night." Most of you probably know that I am all about partying and having a good time, but this is the time of year to know when you turn it back a little, or turn it up to 11 if you have done well. If that is the case, congratulations. But just remember, there is absolutely nothing worse than trying to study with a killer hangover.

Then again, the weather is once again starting to get nice out and with that comes another reason to continue partying and living the college lifestyle. I guess the end of the year can mean two things. It is either your last chance to increase your GPA or your last chance to party before your summer job starts up. Either way, best of luck to you.

Stay classy, not UMassy

Settling In (Like a Pro)

So this is my TNH column for Tuesday. I'm posting it early and you'll see why...

Before I get started I would like to try something a little bit different. For the past week SCOPE has been hyping up their Spring Climax show that is supposed to be announced today (Tuesday). It might have already happened, but if it hasn’t check your facebook page now. Did you check it? Did you really check it? Seriously, did you? Since I’m writing this Sunday night I have prepared a couple broad reactions for students to use like an ad-lib game when the show is finally announced. (Note this was written before SCOPE announced the date or that it was hip-hop.)

Oh my God! Did you here that SCOPE actually got (hip-hop artist) for Climax. They are so (adjective). It is going to be (personal reaction). Or: Oh man, I’m so (synonym for disappointed) that SCOPE got (rock band). How am I supposed to (favorite dance move) with some random (guy/girl) that I’ll (actually talk to/Like A Little) because (I’m confident/need to flirt online because I am unable to do so in person)? Or: (Favorite curse word) SCOPE got (favorite musician) I’m going use (favorite narcotic) right before. Heck, I’ll use (favorite narcotic) while in line to get tickets. Or: SCOPE got (popular “Indie” band). Why are they (trying to ruin my college experience/so awesome)? Or: SCOPE got (musician). I’m not really a big fan but I’ll be so (slang for drunk) it should be (adjective). And lastly: Holy crap! I can’t believe SCOPE got (Wiz Khalifa/Kid Cudi). The New Hampshirite totally called that over a month before anyone else did! (Blog only: cough 99.99999% sure it'll be Wiz cough. Also, his song "Say Yeah" has the lyrics "like a pro" in the chorus... just saying...)

Anyways, I’m completely positive that at least one of those will be applicable no matter what performer SCOPE actually gets and no matter how you personally feel about it. In the end the performer will be a popular act (my money is still on a hip-hop artist) (*It is confirmed) who will sellout the Whittemore Center and some students will be extremely happy and others will be equally disappointed.

Now that I got that out of the way we can move on. So the second semester of the year is a week old and classes are now actually meaningful, well some are at least. I have been on campus for over week and several things have occurred to me. No matter what classes I take, or how early I go to the different bookstores I will still have to order a book that neither of the stores has. It happens every semester and I am convinced that it will always be the very first book I have to read and even more likely it will be the only book I will actually open the entire semester. On top of that, I will always be outraged over the cost of textbooks, which severely cuts into my leisure funds. While on the subject of textbooks, I have also noticed a strong correlation between the price of a book, and the amount of time you actually use it. The higher the book costs, the less likely you will ever have to use it. That is a non-researched fact that I made up to show my disapproval for the high costs of books.

Another thing I noticed this past week is that stuff actually happens on campus before 10 AM. I have never had an 8 AM class, or a class before 10 AM for that matter, until this semester. I always assumed that 8 AM classes were a myth created by my friends who wake up early to guilt trip me. But alas, they are real and are as horrible as they sound.

During syllabus week my roommates and I “collected” around 275 “soda” tabs that will be sent though Project Sunshine to help pay for dialysis. Our apartment’s motto is “Drink a beer, save a life.” In all honesty, at least 25 or 30 of those tabs were actually from soda cans. I mean you need something to mix cheap whiskey with, right? Collecting and donating the tabs is a great way to give a little while enjoying the college experience. Plus it provides a little excuse for drinking on a Tuesday night.

Lastly, I would like to end this column with a good old fashion “Go ‘Cats, Beat Maine!” We all know this is the hockey team’s biggest weekend of the regular season so if you were lucky enough to get tickets for the games this weekend be sure to be loud and support the team.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Stay Balanced

Well, UNH, we have done it. With finals beginning next week, we have made it though another semester. I cannot believe I only have three semesters left here. It seems like just yesterday I was moving into Williamson Hall, nervous, excited and not knowing what to expect. I still might have to switch my major some time next year just so I can stick around a little bit longer. To the students graduating early or leaving for internships, good luck out there. I am not here to worry about the future though; that is what second semester of senior year is for. I am going to use the next few hundred words I have left this semester to share some advice.

I realize that I am only a junior and I have another year and a half left in this magical place we call college, but I cannot stress enough to make the best of your time here. It goes by fast, way too fast and I don't want to wake up one day regretting my time in college. I have friends and older brothers out in the "real world" and every time we get together they remind me, not that I necessarily need it, to enjoy every second I have here. Like the late Warren Zevon said, "enjoy every sandwich," because eventually one will be your last.

That is why I no longer complain about doing work, even when it keeps me up until the early morning hours. Right now, I'm writing this well past midnight while I'm working on a PowerPoint presentation I have to do later today. Oh boy. But I'm doing this now because I just enjoyed the crap out of my weekend, because I'm in college and I try to take advantage of every opportunity I have to make my time here memorable, even if I don't necessarily remember it. Sure procrastination can be stressful, but you got to stay balanced. For every essay you write or night you spend cramming should be another weekend night you cut back and let loose.

Cutting loose does not mean that you need to get drunk bar-hopping downtown or raging at a party, although those are great options. Find your own place and your own thing to make you happy. Whether it is simply sitting down to read a book, going for a run or to the gym, find your place and stay balanced. That is the best way to avoid the stress of college or finals week.

For myself I have a few things to balance my life. When the weather is nice, I'll be out around campus on my skateboard or tossing a baseball around with a few friends. As dedicated readers know, I also take great pleasure in drinking lots of alcohol. Nothing competes with the feeling of having a few (or a lot) of friends over and throwing back a few (or a lot) of drinks. This past weekend my roommates and I hosted a birthday party for a friend and the next morning we woke up to cake embedded in the carpet, toilet paper streamed across a bathroom and into the hall, and a couple broken dishes. It didn't bother a single one of us. Even when we found out that the culprits was the guest of honor and her friend, we just laughed it off. It didn't bother us because we threw an awesome party and everyone had a blast. We were all able to clear our minds from the stress of final projects and exams for a few hours and enjoyed college for what it is.

It is now approaching one a.m. now and I'll be up in a few hours to finish a project, but I am completely fine with that. Maybe I'm crazy for not stressing out over that type of stuff, but the way I see it is that my grades have improved every semester of college and every semester has been more fun then the last. That is not because I now spend more time studying in the library or revising papers, it is because I am more relaxed. I used to stress out over how much work I had to do in so little time, but now I take one thing at a time and just plugging away. Enjoy yourself, UNH; find your balance and live, because college will only be the best four years of your life if you allow it to be.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Where am I?

I want to start this off by saying this column is not meant to be a list of things to do, but purely for entertainment purposes. Enjoy. College students drink a lot and drunken people tend to do silly things. Sometimes those silly things include waking up in strange places. So that got me to think: Where is the scariest or funniest place to wakeup on campus after a night of drinking? All it would take are a couple of Four Lokos to get the real first-hand experience, but for my own personal safety I have decided that using my imagination would be the better option.

Now, my own apartment has witnessed a few of the more common entertaining wake-ups, such as the shower or bathroom, under the kitchen table and in a kitchen cabinet. But anyone can wake up in his or her own apartment; it takes a real trooper to really explore this campus. There are so many possibilities out there from College Woods to the ally behind D-Hop and everywhere in between. Lets take a look at a few of those places.

My personal top pick for the greatest wakeup would be the clock tower on Thompson Hall. I really do not see how that could be beat. I have never been in Thompson Hall, so I do not know how accessible it is, but I am sure it can't be too difficult. Plus, the early morning hourly bell would be like a built in snooze button so you don't have to worry about being late for the next day's activities.

Every time I walk by Hamilton-Smith I notice at how the roof looks like it has a giant porch or deck on top of it. It reminds me of the old houses around Portsmouth that have roof decks that look out to sea. I think that could be an entertaining place to wakeup, or even throw a little party if it is indeed like a roof deck. The roof decks on the fourth floor of Williamson and Christensen would be a great place as well. They have been closed off for a few years now, and trust me the old credit card trick doesn't work on those doors.

Any of the lecture halls would provide great sleeping accommodations. I mean, dozens of students sleep in them during the week anyways. In order to maximize the embarrassment factor, waking up on a Monday morning to an entering 8 a.m. class would probably do the trick. DeMeritt 112 has some really comfortable chairs, as do the MUB theatres and the newly renovated Horton 210.

For decades there have been rumors of secret underground tunnels around the UNH campus, particularity in the old center of campus around Spaulding, Conant, Murkland and DeMeritt. Other rumors say that tunnels run under the sidewalk on Main Street. Some say they are old government laboratories, others say they are connected to the river that runs under Spaulding, but no one is really sure of their existence. Awaking in one of these alleged secret tunnels would make you a true UNH Legend. My roommates and I are planning on investigating this matter further.

Here is a real scary one. How about waking up on President Huddleston's front porch? He already follows me on Twitter so it should not be too unexpected, but something tells me that it would be worse than when the dead fish is left there after the hockey team gets shutout at the Whittemore Center. I know that is true because last year President Huddleston TwitPic'ed a thawed out herring.

I think we should close this out with a few less serious ones. The Little Red Wagon between Spaulding and PCAC looks like it would make for a comfortable place to sleep. Plus, at the same time you would be able to cross it off the UNH Bucket list I helped write last year. Finally, one of the greenhouses out towards Thompson Farm would probably make for a more peaceful wakeup, but you may mistake it for a jungle and that would be confusing.

One final note, I really hope I don't see a bunch of arrests in the next police log relating to this post. College can get hectic and stressful at times, especially in the last few weeks before finals, so hopefully this gave you a few laughs and not a few ideas.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Mid-Semester Thoughts

I am going to take a slightly different approach than usual with this column. Instead of focusing on one big topic I would like to share my thoughts on a few things I have noticed about UNH so far this semester. First of all, I cannot believe how quickly this semester is going. One day you're unpacking in your new room or apartment and the next thing you know you're on your third Redbull trying to learn two months worth of material the night before your first midterm exam. Ah college, the best years of our lives.

This first observation is about the hockey team, but not how they have played or who is playing well. UNH hockey players, listen up. I have really enjoyed watching the games this year; I honestly think this year has the potential to make a lot of noise in Hockey East and on the national level. But there is one thing that I really feel obligated to bring up. Everyday I walk past the Whitt a few times, and once in a while I must pass by right around the time members of the team are leaving. I have noticed that the hockey team has some sort of Vespa Scooter gang. I find this very entertaining, but they should really be wearing helmets. Come on guys, you should know better. I'm not going to lie, seeing certain star athletes pull out onto Main Street makes me a little nervous.

You are already on a scooter, wearing a helmet won't make you look any less cool. Those scooters fit perfectly inside a car's blind spot, and from having to cross Main Street a few times a day I have the authority to say there are some terribly reckless drivers on this campus. Wear a helmet. I am helping to pay your scholarships, so take care of yourself, so you can perform well in games. I don't want to sound like I am favoring the hockey team; I know a lot of athletes and other students ride scooters, so you should all wear helmets too.

My next observation is about the dining halls. Now, I know we've had our problems in the past over childish ideas and misunderstandings, but this is a more serious observation. I have spent a solid week or so reading and being lectured about the codfish stocks in the oceans. Bottom line, they're better than they were about 10 or 20 years ago, but overall they are still terribly low and are currently being fished in an unsustainable manner. So, what do I see about once a week in dining halls? Cod nuggets. Assuming that it is real cod – or even real fish for that matter – it really surprised me to see our "go green or die" dining halls serve cod. What's for dessert, bald eagle? I mentioned this before on the blog and even wrote a napkin note, to which they basically replied, "We do care about sustainability, but we also care about pleasing our students," and then ignored the rest of my point. I'm not making this complaint because I'm a crazy hippy; I just really like to fish and would like our future oceans to still have cod. Every little thing helps, or at least that's why I'm told to recycle and vote, right?

Next up on my list of observations actually came from a few of my roommates, and it is something that I've heard students talk about before, and now I see why. There is a drastic need for some sort of footbridge or tunnel at the train tracks between A-Lot and the Whittemore Center. I mean, I want to go to the gym, but I don't want to walk four minutes to get there. That attitude seems completely right to me. It could even be further back to more easily connect the Gables and the Woodsides. On a more serious note, I think some sort of a pathway would help reduce foot traffic on Main Street. Pedestrian traffic only gets worse in the winter, especially after events let out at the Whittemore Center.

These are just a few of my major observations about the state of UNH so far this semester. I guess on the whole it has been an uneventful semester, at least compared to past years. Wear a helmet, don't eat cod and consider the need for a footbridge.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Like a Pro: Goodbye... for now

Please note this is only my last TNH newspaper column of the year. The blog will continue on through finals (although posts may slow down) and into the summer. Last summer I only posted about 4 or 5 times, but I am hoping to try and post once a week or every other week this summer. But it depends on what is really happening.

Seeing as this is my last column of the school year, it would be fitting for you to listen to Green Day’s “Good Riddance” on repeat as you read. Why? Because cheesy is awesome, just ask Kurt.

I know a lot of you are probably on edge about what my plans are for the future. I have heard the rumors about me leaving school to turn professional and I would like to address those rumors now. It was not an easy decision and I took the weekend to talk with my family, friends and advisors. I have decided that it would be best for me to turn down Barstool’s contract offer to go “pro” meaning that I will return to UNH next fall. I really feel that finishing my education needs to be my top priority. This decision is final.

I have already started brainstorming new ideas and directions to go in. When I started, I can honestly say that I had no idea where this column would take me, and as it turned out I ended up having a post on Barstool Sports make fun of me. In all honesty, I actually had a feeling that column would find its way to Barstool. That was probably the proudest moment of my life. Through this column I have made many friends, and apparently many enemies. I enraged the director of UNH Dining, was reported to UNH’s Office of Conduct and Mediation, infuriated RAs, and hurt little El Pres’ feelings. Despite that, this really has been the best year of my life.

It wouldn’t be right for me to continue without thanking those who helped me get to this position. Towards the end of last summer and into the beginning of the school year then TNH editors Cameron Kittle and Keeley Smith convinced me to give the newspaper a shot, and for that I am forever thankful to them. Another thanks goes to the current executive editor Thomas Gounley – and his staff – for not firing me the second he took over. 
Coming up on the blog there will be an award “ceremony” to look back on some of the most nonsensical happenings of the year, but I would like to use the remainder of this post to highlight of few things.

My favorite “overheard” of the year took place a few weeks ago at DHOP. It was probably around one in the morning and I’m sitting at a table with a few buddies. From across the dining area I hear a girl say quite loudly to her male friend, “Please, just sit on my face.” Short, simple and to the point. Classic. I really wish I could have heard more of the conversation, because I feel as though I do not have enough information to fully understand the context of that quote.

The next category is the best “text from last night” message received. Choosing the best newspaper-appropriate text was very hard. For one reason or another, I always get the most hilarious drunk texts. I think that “I’m on LSD my phone is sinking,” which was sent via my roommate following the MGMT concert tops the list. It may have made me laugh harder than anything I’ve read all year.

My best “Hangover” moment took place back in February when I awoke with my pants inside out, my dorm room full of balloons and my roommate’s couch upside-down. No, there wasn’t a tiger or a baby, and sadly I never found $80,000, but it was fun trying to recall what happened.

Students, mostly freshmen, often debate which fraternity throws the best parties. It is not really a necessary debate because they are all pretty much the same. I am not real big on the frat party scene, but I will say that the best frat party I attended this year was at Pike.

This has been a great year, and I’d like to say thank you to all my loyal readers. I know there are few students who actually read this on purpose and that is awesome. I can really say that I am happy that I have two more years at UNH because these last two have been really special, and I am terrified of trying to find a job with a history degree and a writing minor. Well UNH, I guess this is where I leave you for now. To those graduating, congratulations and good luck out there. To those returning, have a great summer break and I look forward to another great year with you. To incoming freshman, when I applied to UNH I never imagined I would have a column in the school paper. Welcome and don’t be afraid to try something new, because at UNH new opportunities will arise. 



Stay classy not Umassy.

Like a Pro: End The Hate

Anyone who regularly reads my blog, or even those who just dip in once and a while, will be able to attest to the fact that I am not afraid to speak my mind and that write how I truly feel. Some people call it complaining, but usually a lot of people agree with it. If they don’t, at least it creates a discussion. With the end of the semester rapidly approaching, there has been a lot going on around campus. However, there has been one thing this year that has annoyed me more than anything—more than overpaid school coaches, more than UNH Dining, more than unjust school-employee releases, more than Stephenson Billings (props to anyone who understood that last reference), and yes even more than that immature crybaby Dave “El Presidente” Portnoy.

It is the amount of hate on this campus.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not some super-liberal hippy; I am actually pretty much independent when it comes to politics. I am not calling for every student to link arms, share a joint and sing “Kumbaya” or “Give Peace a Chance” on Thompson Hall Lawn. I am simply wondering why so many people have so much hate built up inside of them. If those songs do not make sense to you maybe “Where is the Love?” by the Black Eyed Peas will. How is that for a middle-school jam reference? If you understood that song reference and not the first two you should probably stop reading now.

The best example of this hate is the attitude so many people on this campus have about SCOPE. SCOPE is the Students Committee On Popular Entertainment at UNH and they are in charge of booking large-scale concerts for students. I know what some of you are thinking, and yes I have disagreed with SCOPE in the past, but it was always in an understanding manner. For example, I really do not like Akon and I was upset when SCOPE booked him, but I completely understand why they did, given his popularity.

When SCOPE announced MGMT for their spring climax show, they were instantly bombarded with disapproving comments, to put it lightly. Many students were also ecstatic, and that was shown by the fact that the show sold out in just four hours. This led to another problem—students called out SCOPE and MGMT for not wanting to play at the Whittemore Center. When SCOPE announced the Girl Talk show would also be in the Field House, uninformed students once again blasted them. Well, here’s some breaking news for those students—the Whittemore Center is actually unavailable due to renovations. Now will someone please tell me how that is SCOPE’s fault? Even if the Whittemore Center was available, it would cost twice as much as it would to rent as the Field House, and SCOPE has a strict budget to stick to.

I would also like to add that I am so happy Girl Talk is on May 7, the same day as Sam Adams. Take that, Stoolapalooza. Have fun with 250 people crammed in Libby’s basement. The rest of campus will be in the Field House watching an artist who is actually known outside of New England. If Stoolapalooza really “trumps the Beatles,” as Dave “El Presidente” Portnoy so eloquently put it, then I think it would cost more than $28 a ticket. Last I checked, Paul McCartney, who happens to be a big fan of MGMT, pulls in over $100 a ticket. Let’s take this a step further. For $28 I could see Sam Adams in Libby’s basement, or for $35 I could have seen Akon in the Whittemore Center, MGMT and Girl Talk in the Field House and Titus Andronicus—via MUSO (the Memorial Union Student Organization)—in the Granite State Room. Yeah, I’ll take UNH student organizations for the win.

I think this has been a great year for student entertainment organizations like SCOPE and MUSO. They combined to cover most major genres of music and I think it is safe to say there has truly been something for everyone. If they only booked rap artists a lot of the campus would have been left out. If they only booked bands, the other half would have been left out. Sadly, they will probably never get the respect that they actually deserve. Remember, no one’s taste in music is “right.” Good music is solely opinion. Just because you don’t like someone doesn’t mean that they suck and everyone else should hate them too. This is why I propose that next year SCOPE and MUSO combine for a truly epic Spring Climax weekend. Imagine the possibilities.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

PS: Speaking of MUSO I meet their student music director, Tim King, this past weekend. He seemed like a really chill kid and he also has a blog. He used to hate us, but now he doesn't. Be sure to check his blog out.

Like a Pro: Living Cheap

Please note, (I am not trying to make excuses but...) I had to basically rewrite this thing during class the morning of my newspaper deadline because my flash-drive decided that it was a corrupt file. Not the best way to start off a Monday morning. Luckily, my English paper was fine or I would have been royally F'd in the A.

Like most students here at UNH, I work over the summer, but I don’t exactly have the time to work during the school year. Well, actually as a liberal arts major, I have a lot of free time. It is not that I am lazy; I just don’t want to jeopardize my grades for a crappy job that would only lead to a few extra spending dollars. Or at least that is the excuse I give to my parents. In reality, I have fallen into the vicious cycle of college. The vicious cycle of college includes –but not in any particular order – sleeping, eating, classes, napping, playing video games, studying, procrastinating in general, relaxing, recreational activities, and partying. As you can see my schedule is far too clustered to have a job, especially if I want to keep my health.

I mean I already drink coffee in the morning, four Red Bulls at lunch and three more for dinner. I need all that caffeine so I can stay up late at night in order to finish my homework because I spent too much time during the day napping, writing on the blog or enjoying the outdoors. If you can’t tell, I really have my priorities in line. After having all that caffeine during the day it can be tough to fall asleep - if I haven’t crashed yet - so I need to down half a bottle of Nyquil in order to fall asleep by 3:30 a.m. As you could tell, having a job on top of that would simply add too much stress. I have come to realize that the college diet includes energy drinks, alcohol, greasy pizza and Nyquil, no wonder why Americans are unhealthy. If only there was a KFC on campus so I could grab a Double Down between classes.

Since I haven’t had a job at UNH, I have had to pick up on a few tactics in order to save a little extra money now and again. As a blogger and columnist I feel obligated to share these very simple, yet useful strategies.

The first major category is food. Living on campus we have access to unlimited meal plans, or at the very least a certain amount of swipes at the dining halls. The major problem with the dining halls – trying not to hurt anyone’s feelings here – is that they close pretty early, considering how late the average college student stays up, especially on the weekends, when even Philbrook closes early. Also, apart from a piece of fruit or dessert, we aren’t allowed to take food out, so this means that we must look other places for a late-night snack. My recommendation is to stock up ahead of time and at all costs to avoid the vending machines. While they are very convenient, they are way over priced for the amount of food you get. I first realized I had a vending machine problem when the one in my dorm was only sold out of three items, and they were the only three things I buy. The moral of that story is that vending machines add up and are overpriced. Seriously, vending machines are like the MUB Bookstore of foods.

Speaking of the MUB Bookstore, try to avoid buying your books there. The Durham Book Exchange is slightly cheaper, but if you are able to get a book list early enough, Amazon or other textbook websites are unbeatable

Another thing students spend way too much money on is clothing. Thanks to the student section t-shirt tosses and different organizations on campus, half of my shirts were free. I have seven t-shirts and a hat thanks to the Cat Pack and tables in the MUB. My best free-shirt story occurred a few weeks ago at D-Hop with a group of friends. The owner threw out a couple shirts and two young ladies in my group appeared to want one. So, I go up to the owner, chat with him for a bit and return with three shirts. When the girls asked how I pulled it off I reminded them I am The New Hampshirite and they couldn’t believe the owner of D-Hop read the blog. In actuality, my two older brothers worked at D-Hop and the owner always liked them, but my group of friends didn’t have to know that.

Another small tip is to use your debit or credit card and avoid getting cash from the ATMs unless it is one from your own bank. Otherwise it costs three dollars and that will definitely add up over the course of the school year. I hope these simple strategies will be helpful if you are looking to save a few dollars around campus.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Like a Pro: Drunken Etiquette

Over Easter my parents seemed concerned that all my articles deal with alcohol. (They read my newspaper work, but not the blog - as far as I know.) I said that not every article deals with alcohol and my dad replied, "well, at least every other one does." Well, too late I had already started writing this... I made the point that my alcohol columns tend to be for "entertainment and humor" and they get me in the least amount of trouble (cough dining...) so without any further adieu I present "Drunken Etiquette."

During my time at UNH, I have noticed that a lot of people complain about the campus police. I know I have spoken out against their tactics before, but on the other hand they are just doing their job. Weekends at UNH can be a blast, but sometimes wearing handcuffs after a party is a bad thing. Personally, I have never been arrested, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like to go out on a Friday or Saturday night, or any other night of week for that matter. This is UNH, who am I kidding? Take a stroll around campus on a nice weekend night and you are practically guaranteed to witness an arrest or two, or 10.

Many times these students are just in the wrong place at the wrong time and there is nothing they can do about it. Except not drinking in the first place, but we all know that is not going to happen. However, there are times when students call attention to themselves and basically ask to get arrested. Bad ideas when you are intoxicated on campus include, but are not limited to: running, climbing buildings, urinating on or behind a car – especially a cop car – yelling, stumbling, driving, fighting, streaking, sitting and crying in the street, crawling and getting stuck in a swamp.

Calling attention to yourself is the easiest way to get arrested, even if you have not been drinking. One of my favorite stories was from last semester when a student was arrested for throwing an open beer can at the windshield of a police car as it drove by. When it comes to bad ideas that is probably the most ridiculously stupid thing an intoxicated student can do. You want to avoid those “Yeah, I remember my first beer” moments. If you are not able to control yourself after a few drinks, then don’t drink because that is when people get arrested, or even worse, injured. It is the students who cannot control themselves who give others just looking to have a good time a bad name.

One major tip to avoid an arrest is to be aware of your surroundings. The university police know that students leaving a party are bound to be hungry, so places like D-Hop and Wildcatessen are always under close surveillance late at night. If you act belligerent, don’t be surprised when a cop comes strolling through the door with a pair of handcuffs. If someone tells you about a safe path or spot in the woods to drink, it’s not safe. If they know about it so does most of the campus, which means the campus police knows about it too.

Having a proper drunken etiquette goes beyond just avoiding an arrest. It also includes having some decent manners at a party. For example, if you are ready to turn it up to 11, make sure other people are too because you don’t want to be the only one dancing on top of the furniture. If the person hosting a party asks you to quiet down then do it because being loud is an open invitation for the cops or RAs to shut a party down. In the same boat, but more importantly, if the host asks you to leave, whether the party is over or you are just being too rowdy then you need to respect the host’s rules.

The final stage of drunken etiquette is the ability to deal with roommates, whether they are the belligerent drunks or you are. I have had awesome roommates, meaning when they urinate in the room, most of it makes it into a bottle. Being able to control a roommate-gone-wild is a very important skill, especially if you’re living in a dorm. Sometimes that means cleaning up someone else’s vomit, just make sure your roommate knows they owe you one. Big time. On the flipside, you don’t want to be the crappy roommate who needs to be babysat every weekend. If that continues, you’re going to find yourself living in a single at Stoke, and then you’ll be in real trouble the next time you decide “Jager Bombs” and Heinekens are the perfect 3 p.m. thirst quencher.

The campus police, RAs and CAs have a strict policy to stick by, so if you can’t control yourself after a few drinks, don’t be surprised when you find yourself in the back of a paddy wagon. Every weekend there are dozens of arrests on campus for alcohol-related offenses, but there are far more than a dozen people who decide to drink.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Like a Pro: Comin' Down the Homestretch

My fellow UNH students, today is March 30, which means two things. First, it is the one-year anniversary of my blog – approximately 364 days more than I thought it would last – but more importantly there are only 40 days until finals week. That means that there are only six weekends left to study and prepare for exams. And by “study and prepare” you should very well know by now that I mean weekends left to party. This is college, the weather is getting nice in Durham and soon it will be summer vacation.

To me, summer vacation means that I’ll be waking up three hours earlier every day and working outside in hot and humid weather. Don’t get me wrong, I love that I get to work outside, but I rather enjoy being at UNH. If you ask me, I am already on vacation because I get to sleep in every day of the week and hangout and relax almost every night. Sure, I go to classes during the day and I have a lot of homework, but with proper time-management college is actually not too bad. Although I am writing this at midnight on a Sunday because I watched cartoons all day, that is not the point. Because I forgot what the point of this column was halfway through that paragraph. Is it possible to catch ADD this late in life?

Let me try and get back on track. You know that old saying, “There is a time and a place for that and it is called college”? Well, we are in college, so that time and place is right now. Have fun. Enjoy yourselves now because before you know it, you’ll be in the real world with infinitely more responsibilities.

Speaking of having fun, what could be more fun than eating a burrito at two in the morning? Well you are in luck because Irie Taco has started its late-night hours. I’m taking credit for it because I recommended this to the owner the first time I went and he said he would think about it. You welcome, UNH. Their chicken burrito could very well rival Kurt’s cheesy fries and D-Hop slices as my top choice for third-dinner. Irie Taco is located at the loop next to the Mills and behind Huddleston Hall.

Speaking of the name Huddleston, thanks to Twitter I have a whole new appreciation for our university’s president. I call them Huddletweets. His tweets really show how much time goes into running UNH from attending meetings to giving lectures to mid-morning runs to IHOP. So really, apart from attending lectures and meetings, we aren’t so different.<

I would also like to take this opportunity to make a few quick announcements. On Tuesday and Thursday of this week there will be a table in the MUB from 12:40 to 2:00 p.m. looking for student signatures in support of a Good Samaritan policy at UNH. This is something that really could make a difference on campus in regards to the safety of students so please take a moment this week to sign the petition.

While on the topic of politics, the past few years there has been a terribly low voter turnout for student senate elections. These are the students who help make changes for the better of the student body. So if you’re like me and you really support a cause on campus, such as a Good Samaritan or medical amnesty policy, this year’s voting may be more important then ever before. So make sure you remember to vote on April 20. Wait, what? Yes, that’s right, this year’s student senate elections are on 4/20. To the people who don’t see the problem with that date, thank you in advance for remembering to vote. Although, this could be a giant conspiracy: I mean if only 5 percent of campus votes, will the winners actually get elected? We need to find out who decided on this date and check to see if they are on the ballot. Something smells funny here and it isn’t the room down the hall blasting Bob Marley.

Lastly, on Friday, May 7, Barstoolpalooza is coming to UNH, featuring Sam Adams in the Granite State Room thanks to Alpha Sigma Phi. Even though I am not a fan of Sam Adams and I am much more excited for MGMT, I think that it is awesome that a non-entertainment organization stepped up to the plate when others couldn’t pull the trigger. I hope this will lead to more organizations putting on small concerts with semi-local and semi-well known acts. Hopefully this could lead to more up-and-coming acts here at UNH.

Stay classy, not UMassy.