In less than one month I will be graduating, but most of you reading
this will have at least another year or more here at UNH. I have
experienced a lot of different things during my time here and I think it
would be only fair to use one of my last columns to share some helpful
advice with you all.
I know what you might be thinking, “Why would we want to take advice from a buffoon of a student who may or may not drink too much.”
Well first of all, it is not a drinking problem until you graduate, so
the joke is on you. Secondly, and if you have not figured this out by
now you may need some language comprehension classes, but a lot of what I
have written over the years is in character, sarcastic and satire.
Well, other than the whole drinking stuff. That part is real. Anyways,
here is some of what I think is the best advice I have to offer.
If a professor ever tells you, “This is not a paper/assignment/project
that you can complete the night before it’s due” they are wrong. Just
about any assignment can be completed in “A” fashion the night and/or
early morning before it is due. Just do not make a habit of it or you
may develop insomnia. I cannot tell you how many times I turned in a
paper literally still warm from being freshly printed.
Try something new. Scratch that; try as many news things as you
possibly can. I never expected to write a blog or a newspaper column,
and I think that this turned out pretty well for me. Do not limit
yourself to your comfort zone. I know a lot of people will say this
about college, but I feel so many students still never step outside
their regular routines.
Try to dedicate one night or weekend a year to become your personal
ultimate college story. Everyone needs to graduate with his or her one
go-to story to share to close friends for the future. This does not need
to be a party or drinking story, rather it should be something that
would be unusual for your lifestyle.
Study abroad for a semester. Even doing one of the shorter summer or
J-term trips would be worth the experience and it is much cheaper than
traveling on your own. Not studying abroad for a semester is probably my
biggest regret about college. I have many friends who took advantage of
the opportunity and I know they are happy that they did. However, I
would not recommend doing it second semester senior year because you are
going to want to be in Durham with all of your closest friends for your
last few months of college.
Similar to the last one, another regret of mine is that I never took a
big road trip with a group of friends for spring break, winter break or
the summer. Sure, I took weekend trips to other colleges, but I would
have loved to take some type of road trip with my roommates.
Try to pile up at least one or two minors. I will be graduating with
three unfinished minors, in political science, English writing and
communications because I could never make up my mind or commit to
anything. I took more classes for my major than I needed, but part of
that was that there were so many interesting ones, I could not resist.
This one comes directly from personal experience, but I think it is
something everyone should do. Write on your own, outside of classes. I
do not mean to keep a journal or diary or to write personal essays or
poems. Just write. Keep track of funny things that happen to you or
things you see, write down ideas, thoughts or future goals. It will help
you stay organized, clear your mind and actually help reduce stress.
Take 10 or 15 minutes just to write, think and clear your mind. It will
pay off when it comes to studying or writing an essay because it will
help you focus on the task at hand.
Finally, when you are in my position and preparing to graduate, make
sure that you have as little regrets as possible. Make your own personal
college bucket list because you will be able to do things in college
that you will never be able to experience again. This may seem pretty
cliché, but it is true. Enjoy your time here, because it really does go
by faster than you expect.
Stay classy, not UMassy.
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Understanding When You've Had Too Much (Like a Pro)
Every weekend, students of this fine university partake in various activities around campus. Some of those activities include drinking alcohol, which, whether you are above the legal age or not, is pretty common in the college social scene. Not everybody does and probably not everyone should, but it is no secret that college students drink. If you are responsible and have at least the tiniest bit of maturity you can get away with drinking more often, but sometimes it can be hard to tell when you've had too many in a night.
Every year Health Services releases information on safer drinking, but because everyone is different in size and can handle different amounts of alcohol, sometimes your actions can be a better clue when you need to turn it down a level or even call it a night. Since there are so many variables that factor into how alcohol can affect you in a given night, I have tried to create a set of guidelines to help you realize when you have had too many drinks.
You know you are too drunk when you leave a room and try to use your key to get out. There is not even a card swipe or a keyhole available, so clearly your basic skills of logic are out the window. Speaking of windows, if you ever find yourself playing King's Cup and your category is "types of window," you should probably put that water bottle of vodka down. However, if someone answers that category with "window pane" then they are more intoxicated than you, so at least you are not the drunkest person in the room.
If you ever find yourself drinking cheap red wine out of a mason jar, you should at least recognize that it is only acceptable to do so in college. I highly discourage you from using mason jars for alcohol in more "professional" gatherings. If you drink whiskey and the guy next to you instantly turns into a jerk than you have clearly have had too many drinks. However, if you are drinking that whiskey out of a mason jar, that guy next to you is clearly jealous and really is a jerk. Mason jars are the double-edged-swords of drinking.
If you continuously burn yourself while trying to light a shot of vodka on fire, you should stop what you are doing immediately and never be allowed to use a lighter again. The alcohol needs to be 100 proof to ignite, silly. Pay better attention in chemistry.
If you start talking with an accent that isn't natural to you or from a place you have never lived, then you should probably curb your consumption. It is one thing if your southern drawl comes out or your Bostonian emphasis thickens, but if it is an accent that is completely exotic to you, then you should think about calling it a night.
When you smack your face on the beirut table because the chair that you were leaning on somehow moved, then it is time to stop drinking. And you should probably seek medical attention.
If you try to sleep in a kitchen cabinet because it looks like a warm and cozy place to pass out, then at least you are already calling it quits. Try to make it to bed though, you will be much more comfortable in the morning.
If you try to jump over anything, including but not limited to - chairs, tables, kitchen counters, sinks, camp fires, out of a window, off a roof, or any elevated surface for that matter, then you should be prepared to have a few bruises in the morning. You are not Blake Griffin, so save yourself the embarrassment.
If whiskey becomes a suitable replacement for hot sauce, then you might be an alcoholic. If a seven-shot mixed drink seems like a good idea, especially if you think it tastes good, then you will probably not remember finishing it. If you think your beer can is a jerk for being empty, then you are actually right. Stupid empty beer can.
Just about anyone who has ever drank has had a night where they have had a few too many. We have all been there, but it is important to keep an eye out for yourself and your friends. Every weekend I see ambulances rush up and down Main Street. Luckily, I've never had to witness a friend need medical attention, but the threat is there. Have fun, but be smart about it.
Stay classy, not UMassy.
Every year Health Services releases information on safer drinking, but because everyone is different in size and can handle different amounts of alcohol, sometimes your actions can be a better clue when you need to turn it down a level or even call it a night. Since there are so many variables that factor into how alcohol can affect you in a given night, I have tried to create a set of guidelines to help you realize when you have had too many drinks.
You know you are too drunk when you leave a room and try to use your key to get out. There is not even a card swipe or a keyhole available, so clearly your basic skills of logic are out the window. Speaking of windows, if you ever find yourself playing King's Cup and your category is "types of window," you should probably put that water bottle of vodka down. However, if someone answers that category with "window pane" then they are more intoxicated than you, so at least you are not the drunkest person in the room.
If you ever find yourself drinking cheap red wine out of a mason jar, you should at least recognize that it is only acceptable to do so in college. I highly discourage you from using mason jars for alcohol in more "professional" gatherings. If you drink whiskey and the guy next to you instantly turns into a jerk than you have clearly have had too many drinks. However, if you are drinking that whiskey out of a mason jar, that guy next to you is clearly jealous and really is a jerk. Mason jars are the double-edged-swords of drinking.
If you continuously burn yourself while trying to light a shot of vodka on fire, you should stop what you are doing immediately and never be allowed to use a lighter again. The alcohol needs to be 100 proof to ignite, silly. Pay better attention in chemistry.
If you start talking with an accent that isn't natural to you or from a place you have never lived, then you should probably curb your consumption. It is one thing if your southern drawl comes out or your Bostonian emphasis thickens, but if it is an accent that is completely exotic to you, then you should think about calling it a night.
When you smack your face on the beirut table because the chair that you were leaning on somehow moved, then it is time to stop drinking. And you should probably seek medical attention.
If you try to sleep in a kitchen cabinet because it looks like a warm and cozy place to pass out, then at least you are already calling it quits. Try to make it to bed though, you will be much more comfortable in the morning.
If you try to jump over anything, including but not limited to - chairs, tables, kitchen counters, sinks, camp fires, out of a window, off a roof, or any elevated surface for that matter, then you should be prepared to have a few bruises in the morning. You are not Blake Griffin, so save yourself the embarrassment.
If whiskey becomes a suitable replacement for hot sauce, then you might be an alcoholic. If a seven-shot mixed drink seems like a good idea, especially if you think it tastes good, then you will probably not remember finishing it. If you think your beer can is a jerk for being empty, then you are actually right. Stupid empty beer can.
Just about anyone who has ever drank has had a night where they have had a few too many. We have all been there, but it is important to keep an eye out for yourself and your friends. Every weekend I see ambulances rush up and down Main Street. Luckily, I've never had to witness a friend need medical attention, but the threat is there. Have fun, but be smart about it.
Stay classy, not UMassy.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
An Open Letter to Incoming Freshman
Late Sunday night I received the following e-mail titled, "Incoming Freshman." I figured the best way to reply would be in my column for all to see (spelling unchanged, by the way).
Hi,
I'm thinking about attending unh fall 11. I have some questions, im really into partying and drinking. Whats the party scene like? I'm not into the whole frat thing, would this affect the party scene? and is it easy to get alcohol from the stores? I got a pretty good fake. Also what is life at unh like in general?
Thanks
(Name removed)
Sent from my iPad
Dear Incoming Freshman,
You are about to take a weird journey with thousands of other teenagers and young adults all concentrated in a very small area. For the sake of all incoming freshmen (and hopefully the entertainment of the current student body), reading the blog will be helpful, but I'll try to answer in a few hundred words.
First off, you sent this message from an iPad. Really, dude? What high school student owns an iPad? Scratch that, who in general owns an iPad?
Anyways, all incoming freshmen should know that there are two types of students who are more likely to go off the deep end in college; there are the students who were straight-edge in high school and people who partied hard in high school. While these two generalized personas were complete opposites in high school, they stumble in college for the same reason: freedom. The straight-edge students who go off the deep end in college taste that little bit of freedom or rebellion in their first Keystone Light, and they want more and more, and before you know it, their GPA is lower than their BAC. The high school partier gets to college already knowing his or her levels, but then decide to push the envelope a little bit further because, hey, it's college. Obviously, this doesn't happen to everyone. That being said, if you know your limits and keep your priorities straight, there is no reason you can't party a few nights a week while maintaining a strong GPA.
Here at UNH, we take pride in our party scene. And although our administration has worked hard to quell the party atmosphere, we have done a pretty decent job maintaining our reputation. We may not be a ranked party school anymore, but we seem to manage. I'm going to be honest though, it can be tough for freshmen to get into parties, unless you know upperclassmen or make a lot of friends quickly, there could a be quite a few weekends of dorm room parties for you.
Since you are not into the fraternity thing, you're going to need to know people living in the Gables or the Woodsides to get into parties. One of the biggest freshmen mistakes is thinking that you and your buddies can walk up and down the street and enter any random apartment that is raging. There is no open-door policy at UNH (or any college for that matter). This is not the movies or television; walking into a giant party full of strangers is probably not going to end with you being the life of the party and leaving with the captain of the dance team. The most important thing for partying in college is knowing people and having different places to go. Even most fraternities have lists for their parties. If you're not on it, you're probably not getting in.
On the topic of fake IDs, they are probably not going to work, especially on campus. All of the campus stores card; some even require two forms of ID, and those that don't will probably end up scanning your license anyway. The storeowners are not stupid, and using a fake is almost a guaranteed arrest if you get caught. The best solution to the alcohol problem is making friends with a 21-year-old and always tipping them a few bucks. As for life at UNH in general, it probably isn't too different from any other college. It will be the best four years of your life, if you allow it to be. You will experience new freedom and opportunities you never thought possible. With that freedom comes responsibility, but remember, the social aspects of the college experience will probably impact you more than what you learn in the classroom.
Stay classy, not UMassy.
(PS: Once again- I love getting any emails, especially ones like this. Keep them coming!)
Hi,
I'm thinking about attending unh fall 11. I have some questions, im really into partying and drinking. Whats the party scene like? I'm not into the whole frat thing, would this affect the party scene? and is it easy to get alcohol from the stores? I got a pretty good fake. Also what is life at unh like in general?
Thanks
(Name removed)
Sent from my iPad
Dear Incoming Freshman,
You are about to take a weird journey with thousands of other teenagers and young adults all concentrated in a very small area. For the sake of all incoming freshmen (and hopefully the entertainment of the current student body), reading the blog will be helpful, but I'll try to answer in a few hundred words.
First off, you sent this message from an iPad. Really, dude? What high school student owns an iPad? Scratch that, who in general owns an iPad?
Anyways, all incoming freshmen should know that there are two types of students who are more likely to go off the deep end in college; there are the students who were straight-edge in high school and people who partied hard in high school. While these two generalized personas were complete opposites in high school, they stumble in college for the same reason: freedom. The straight-edge students who go off the deep end in college taste that little bit of freedom or rebellion in their first Keystone Light, and they want more and more, and before you know it, their GPA is lower than their BAC. The high school partier gets to college already knowing his or her levels, but then decide to push the envelope a little bit further because, hey, it's college. Obviously, this doesn't happen to everyone. That being said, if you know your limits and keep your priorities straight, there is no reason you can't party a few nights a week while maintaining a strong GPA.
Here at UNH, we take pride in our party scene. And although our administration has worked hard to quell the party atmosphere, we have done a pretty decent job maintaining our reputation. We may not be a ranked party school anymore, but we seem to manage. I'm going to be honest though, it can be tough for freshmen to get into parties, unless you know upperclassmen or make a lot of friends quickly, there could a be quite a few weekends of dorm room parties for you.
Since you are not into the fraternity thing, you're going to need to know people living in the Gables or the Woodsides to get into parties. One of the biggest freshmen mistakes is thinking that you and your buddies can walk up and down the street and enter any random apartment that is raging. There is no open-door policy at UNH (or any college for that matter). This is not the movies or television; walking into a giant party full of strangers is probably not going to end with you being the life of the party and leaving with the captain of the dance team. The most important thing for partying in college is knowing people and having different places to go. Even most fraternities have lists for their parties. If you're not on it, you're probably not getting in.
On the topic of fake IDs, they are probably not going to work, especially on campus. All of the campus stores card; some even require two forms of ID, and those that don't will probably end up scanning your license anyway. The storeowners are not stupid, and using a fake is almost a guaranteed arrest if you get caught. The best solution to the alcohol problem is making friends with a 21-year-old and always tipping them a few bucks. As for life at UNH in general, it probably isn't too different from any other college. It will be the best four years of your life, if you allow it to be. You will experience new freedom and opportunities you never thought possible. With that freedom comes responsibility, but remember, the social aspects of the college experience will probably impact you more than what you learn in the classroom.
Stay classy, not UMassy.
(PS: Once again- I love getting any emails, especially ones like this. Keep them coming!)
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Stay Balanced
Well, UNH, we have done it. With finals beginning next week, we have made it though another semester. I cannot believe I only have three semesters left here. It seems like just yesterday I was moving into Williamson Hall, nervous, excited and not knowing what to expect. I still might have to switch my major some time next year just so I can stick around a little bit longer. To the students graduating early or leaving for internships, good luck out there. I am not here to worry about the future though; that is what second semester of senior year is for. I am going to use the next few hundred words I have left this semester to share some advice.
I realize that I am only a junior and I have another year and a half left in this magical place we call college, but I cannot stress enough to make the best of your time here. It goes by fast, way too fast and I don't want to wake up one day regretting my time in college. I have friends and older brothers out in the "real world" and every time we get together they remind me, not that I necessarily need it, to enjoy every second I have here. Like the late Warren Zevon said, "enjoy every sandwich," because eventually one will be your last.
That is why I no longer complain about doing work, even when it keeps me up until the early morning hours. Right now, I'm writing this well past midnight while I'm working on a PowerPoint presentation I have to do later today. Oh boy. But I'm doing this now because I just enjoyed the crap out of my weekend, because I'm in college and I try to take advantage of every opportunity I have to make my time here memorable, even if I don't necessarily remember it. Sure procrastination can be stressful, but you got to stay balanced. For every essay you write or night you spend cramming should be another weekend night you cut back and let loose.
Cutting loose does not mean that you need to get drunk bar-hopping downtown or raging at a party, although those are great options. Find your own place and your own thing to make you happy. Whether it is simply sitting down to read a book, going for a run or to the gym, find your place and stay balanced. That is the best way to avoid the stress of college or finals week.
For myself I have a few things to balance my life. When the weather is nice, I'll be out around campus on my skateboard or tossing a baseball around with a few friends. As dedicated readers know, I also take great pleasure in drinking lots of alcohol. Nothing competes with the feeling of having a few (or a lot) of friends over and throwing back a few (or a lot) of drinks. This past weekend my roommates and I hosted a birthday party for a friend and the next morning we woke up to cake embedded in the carpet, toilet paper streamed across a bathroom and into the hall, and a couple broken dishes. It didn't bother a single one of us. Even when we found out that the culprits was the guest of honor and her friend, we just laughed it off. It didn't bother us because we threw an awesome party and everyone had a blast. We were all able to clear our minds from the stress of final projects and exams for a few hours and enjoyed college for what it is.
It is now approaching one a.m. now and I'll be up in a few hours to finish a project, but I am completely fine with that. Maybe I'm crazy for not stressing out over that type of stuff, but the way I see it is that my grades have improved every semester of college and every semester has been more fun then the last. That is not because I now spend more time studying in the library or revising papers, it is because I am more relaxed. I used to stress out over how much work I had to do in so little time, but now I take one thing at a time and just plugging away. Enjoy yourself, UNH; find your balance and live, because college will only be the best four years of your life if you allow it to be.
Stay classy, not UMassy.
I realize that I am only a junior and I have another year and a half left in this magical place we call college, but I cannot stress enough to make the best of your time here. It goes by fast, way too fast and I don't want to wake up one day regretting my time in college. I have friends and older brothers out in the "real world" and every time we get together they remind me, not that I necessarily need it, to enjoy every second I have here. Like the late Warren Zevon said, "enjoy every sandwich," because eventually one will be your last.
That is why I no longer complain about doing work, even when it keeps me up until the early morning hours. Right now, I'm writing this well past midnight while I'm working on a PowerPoint presentation I have to do later today. Oh boy. But I'm doing this now because I just enjoyed the crap out of my weekend, because I'm in college and I try to take advantage of every opportunity I have to make my time here memorable, even if I don't necessarily remember it. Sure procrastination can be stressful, but you got to stay balanced. For every essay you write or night you spend cramming should be another weekend night you cut back and let loose.
Cutting loose does not mean that you need to get drunk bar-hopping downtown or raging at a party, although those are great options. Find your own place and your own thing to make you happy. Whether it is simply sitting down to read a book, going for a run or to the gym, find your place and stay balanced. That is the best way to avoid the stress of college or finals week.
For myself I have a few things to balance my life. When the weather is nice, I'll be out around campus on my skateboard or tossing a baseball around with a few friends. As dedicated readers know, I also take great pleasure in drinking lots of alcohol. Nothing competes with the feeling of having a few (or a lot) of friends over and throwing back a few (or a lot) of drinks. This past weekend my roommates and I hosted a birthday party for a friend and the next morning we woke up to cake embedded in the carpet, toilet paper streamed across a bathroom and into the hall, and a couple broken dishes. It didn't bother a single one of us. Even when we found out that the culprits was the guest of honor and her friend, we just laughed it off. It didn't bother us because we threw an awesome party and everyone had a blast. We were all able to clear our minds from the stress of final projects and exams for a few hours and enjoyed college for what it is.
It is now approaching one a.m. now and I'll be up in a few hours to finish a project, but I am completely fine with that. Maybe I'm crazy for not stressing out over that type of stuff, but the way I see it is that my grades have improved every semester of college and every semester has been more fun then the last. That is not because I now spend more time studying in the library or revising papers, it is because I am more relaxed. I used to stress out over how much work I had to do in so little time, but now I take one thing at a time and just plugging away. Enjoy yourself, UNH; find your balance and live, because college will only be the best four years of your life if you allow it to be.
Stay classy, not UMassy.
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