3 Years of Nonsensical Happenings

Today, March 30th is a big day. Not only is it The Cabinet Kid's 22nd birthday, but it is also the third anniversary of this very blog. (I still don't know if I should call it an anniversary or birthday. Fuck it, birthday it is.)

In honor of this blog turning three years old I want you all to go out and have a helluva weekend. You all deserve it. Have a drink on me. (No I won't buy it, but think of this blog as you take your first swig). We've been through a lot together. In celebration of this blog turning three I don't want a gift or anything, in fact some of you may be receiving one (more on that hopefully by the end of the weekend or next week) but I do ask that you fill out the survey on this blog if you haven't yet. It only takes a few minutes and I've already had about 60 responses. The best answers will probably be posted soon, but please take it seriously. Thanks.

So in honor of this blog's 3rd birthday, I give you the best account I can imagine of my 22nd last week. (So far on the survey the drinking stories/alcohol posts are balancing each other out in the "least" and "most" favorite parts. Here's a drinking tale so if you don't like them stop reading here.)

I never had the super crazy 21st birthday that most college kids get to experience. Last year when I turned 21 it fell upon the last Sunday of Spring Break, so the night before many of my friends had not yet returned to campus so I stayed in a drank with a few friends for the night. That next day my older brothers, who I am very close with, took me around Portsmouth and some other area bars for some good ole day drinking. That night, a Sunday, wasn't fit for a party, but I still had fun.

That being said, when I turned 22 last week my roommates and friends were sure to make up for it in a big way and being the loving assholes that they are, they kept the drinks coming fast down at the Knot, but I'm already getting ahead of myself. The night began in my apartment with 3 or 4 Rolling Rocks, possibly the most underrated cheap beer, before we headed downtown. Somewhere around 8 well drinks later (a combo of whiskey and rum and cokes) the shots and "fun" drinks came. First it was a Three Wise Men shot, which is a combo of Jim Beam, Jack Daniels and Johnnie Walker mixed together. Not bad at all. The Jack and Johnnie easily cancel out ole' Jimmy and as a whiskey fan I approved.

Next came the Irish Car Bomb and I pounded that son of a bitch like a pro. Next, a birthday cake shot from the ladies. Super sugary, but not a bad shot to take. Another round of whiskey cokes was followed up by the biggest jackass move and what I believed would be the knockout punch later on: a jagerbomb. And it wasn't even the jager, but the massive amount of Red Bull I had to drink so quickly. A few more whiskey cokes and I was ready head home.

This was taken roughly 3/4 into the night.

I made it to the apartment, hit the couch and then came the spins. Vomit after vomit. The toilet seat was my best friend and I wouldn't let go. Every time I made it back to bed, I'd sprint back to the bathroom in double time. Now, usually when one vomits the hangover is less intense, sometimes even nonexistent at times the following morning. I didn't have class until 3PM and even that was too soon.

Now why am I telling you all this story you ask? Well, I think that it is good to celebrate and just go nuts once in a while. I have great roommates and friends and we always watch out for one another, even if we're responsible for another spending the night praying to the porcelain god. This is my last semester at UNH and we're trying to make the most of every night we have left here.

Cheers to 3 great years!

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Joggling: It takes balls

You've seen him running up and down Main Street. With balls. Juggling. Faster than you can run. UNH senior Thomas Gounley is set to run the Boston Marathon, while juggling. Yeah, you read that right. He is also a twitter extraordinaire and also has been a TNH editor for a few years now. Next time you see him joggling down Main Street give him a shout out or send him a tweet.

On the blog tomorrow: A graphic recap of the New Hampshirite's 22nd birthday in honor of the blog's third birthday. That's right, tomorrow is the 3rd anniversary of the University of Nonsensical Happenings launching and taking UNH by storm.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

It knows...

Hey Facebook, quit creepin' on me! How you know UNH has given me memories? You stalkin' my pics? I make my own memories!

Help me, Help You

Dear Nonsensical Nation,

With just a few months left of the school year, and my final year here at UNH, I have been brainstorming ways to give back to UNH. I have a few small projects in mind. But, I would also like your help. This blog has been a major part of my UNH career. I'm very proud of what it evolved into and I am always looking for ways to improve it and my own writing style and ability. I decided to create a short survey to help me get a better understanding of what my readers are like and why you come to this blog. It will not only help improve this blog over the last few months, but it will also help me with future projects as well. Please take a few minutes to fill out the survey, it is only 10 questions long and about half of it is multiple choice so it won't take long. Thank you so much.

Love,

The New Hampshirite

Click here to take survey

It Can Happen to You

Note: This post is my TNH column for today. I decided to rewrite and formalize my last piece about the recent roofying incidences because I felt it was important to receive a wider audience. I rewrote parts of the intro and conclusion and extended some details so I felt the need to republish it on the blog. Thanks.

In a perfect world this type of column would not be necessary for college students, because we have all heard the warnings, been through health classes and probably seen “The Hangover,” but after a few recent events it appears a small PSA might be necessary.

In a perfect world students could go out and have fun without having to worry what is in their drink, or whether or not someone is being friendly or has a secret agenda. But this is not a perfect world.

When you go out at night, whether to the bar or to a party, please be smart about your drinks. Over the past few weeks, there have been two incidents where a friend or an acquaintance of mine has been roofied, or at least there was an attempt. Luckily neither attempt was 100 percent successful, and the worst that happened was a minor brownout and some vomit. Let me explain.

The first incident took place at Scorps a few weeks ago. One of my roommate’s friends had one drink in him when he drank his girlfriend’s drink because she didn’t want it. In a short time he began acting strange and completely out of it, which was weird because he had only had two drinks. The friends he was with took him to one of their nearby apartments, where he passed out and later woke up unsure of what had happened. Clearly, his girlfriend’s drink had been spiked, and luckily nothing serious happened as the result.

The second incident took place more this past weekend at Libby’s. A friend of ours foolishly accepted a drink from a guy because it was her birthday and she assumed he was just being friendly. When she returned to our friend’s table she put the drink down where one of my roommate’s accidentally drank part of it because it was the same type of drink he had. He thought it tasted a little weird, but didn’t think much of it.

Soon, and much like the first incident, he began acting weird as the night progressed. While at Kurt’s he suddenly did not recognize his girlfriend of over six months, but then quickly snapped out of it. He couldn’t understand why he had been so confused. Upon returning to our apartment he randomly punched another roommate quite hard in the shoulder, and then again snapped out if it. Apologizing and saying he had no idea why he just did that.

In the morning he remembered being at the bar and Kurt’s, but he did not remember being at our apartment or hitting our roommate. Clearly the drink was spiked, but it didn’t fully hit him as he faded in and out of being aware of his surroundings.

What we do know is that both girls who were “targeted” were small blondes, but obviously there is no way to find out if it was the same person or really anything else, because of how the situations and nights played out. In the first situation there must have been a quick slip that went unnoticed, while in the second situation our friend could not recall what the guy looked liked who handed her the drink.

There are a few simple tips that can help prevent situations like these from happening. There are always going to be jerks who break the law and try to drug people, so the best thing you can do is be prepared to lower the probability of it happening to you.

Obviously you should never accept a drink from someone you don’t know. Always keep your drink in your hand or directly in front of you if you are sitting down, and while standing hold your drink with the “claw” grip, covering the top with your palm and fingers. It won’t completely cover your drink, but it will make it much more difficult for someone to drop a pill in. As you get more drunk you are more likely to make stupid mistakes and dumb decisions, but really the best prevention is to simple make better decisions and watch out for your friends. Luckily both of these incidents turned out to be harmless considering their potential consequences, but it goes to show that stuff like this really does happen quite frequently.

Stay classy, not UMassy

Watch Yo Drank

I feel like this type of post shouldn't be necessary for college students because we have all heard the warnings, been through health classes and probably seen The Hangover, but after a few recent events it appears a small PSA might be necessary.

When you go out at night it, whether to the bar or to a party, please be smart about your drinks. Over the past few weeks there have been two incidences where a friend of mine has been roofied, or at there was an attempt. Luckily neither were successful and the worst that happened was a minor brownout and some vomit. Let me explain.

The first incident took place at Scorps a few weeks ago. A friend of ours had one drink in him when he drank his girlfriend's drink because she didn't want it. In a short time he began acting strange and completely out of it which was weird because he had only had two drinks. His friends he was with took him to one of their nearby apartments where he passed out. Clearly his girlfriend's drink had been spiked and luckily nothing serious happened as the result.

The second incident took place last night at Libby's. A friend of ours foolishly accepted a drink from a guy (of course she doesn't recall what he looks like at all and also it was her birthday so she stupidly accepted it) and she returned to our friend's table. She put the drink down where one of my roommate's accidentally drank part of it because it was the same type of drink he had. He thought it tasted a little weird, but didn't think much of it.

Again, he began acting weird not too long later. While at Kurt's he suddenly didn't recognize his girlfriend, but then quickly snapped out of it. Upon returning to our apartment he randomly punched another roommate quite hard in the shoulder (which was actually quite humorous) and then again snapped out if it. Apologizing and saying he had no idea why he just did that. This morning he remembers the bar and Kurt's, but he doesn't remember being at our apartment. Clearly the drink was spiked, but it didn't fully hit him as he faded in and out of being aware of his surroundings.

What we do know is that both girls who were "targeted" were small blondes, but obviously there is no way to find out if it was the same scumbag or really anything else because of how the situations and nights played out.

So, obviously you should never accept a drink from someone you don't know. Always keep your drink in your hand or directly in front of you if you are sitting down and while standing hold your drink with the "claw" grip, covering the top with your palm and fingers. It won't completely cover your drink, but it will make it much more difficult. As you get more drunk your more likely to make stupid mistakes and dumb decisions, but really the best prevention is to simple make better decisions. Luckily both of these incidences turned out to be harmless considering the potential, but it goes to show that stuff like this really does happen quite frequently.

Stay smart out there and stay classy, not UMassy.

PS: To people who need to roofy chicks: FUCK you, you piece of shit scum. You are the lowest of the low. If you can't pick up a girl or flirt without drugging her then you're doing it wrong. I hope you get caught and get in a lot of trouble because you deserve it. Dick head.

Get off Your Ass and Walk to Class

I have a proposition for UNH and Wildcat Transit: If you really care about the overall health and well being of the students, the environment and the school's budget, then why the hell do you feel the need to run all three Gables/A Lot connectors on days like today? It's so fricken' beautiful out how would anyone want to take the bus? (Okay, other than the fact that they have AC). I have a new health campaign for the school to advertise.

It's called "Get off your ass and walk to class."

Personally, as a Gables resident I only take the bus if it is raining or I am vastly under-dressed for a nippy New England morning. I know a lot of people probably think this is stupid, would be impossible to run and would only make things more confusing, and I would agree, but it is more about making a point. Also, don't complain about the gym being too crowded if you're too lazy to walk to class.

While I'm on this slight rant I would just like to throw this out there: Why the hell do students show up to a class where attendance is not mandatory and then talk the entire class? Just stay the hell home or keep your mouth shut. You are not more important than anyone else and everyone in the class hates you. Shouldn't you be at the beach on a day like today anyways?


And while on that topic, I've missed classes this week because I've been under the weather, not because of the weather. This just isn't fair because it is probably the one week of the semester my professors wouldn't believe me. Spring colds are the worst.

Stay classy, not UMassy.