Thursday, July 8, 2010

In his own LeBrozone

Okay, I usually don't write about anything that isn't UNH or college related, but I have some thoughts on Lebron James and I figured why not... even though roughly 52.4 million bloggers/journalists/experts have already said just about everything there is to say about this egomaniac. Lebron must be loving this. This is exactly what he wanted, everyone is talking about him. Lebron lives in his own ozone... the Lebrozone. Original? Probably not, but I've been working outside and my brain is more fried than usual.

Two days ago, there was no way I thought I would be watching tonight, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it really could be the most insane hour of television ever. There is noway I can miss it. No other athlete would ever pull this off, and quite frankly, would any of them want to? Not TO. Not Ochocinco. Not Jeter. Not Brady. Not Kobe. I don't even think A-Rod would and he posed for a magazine kissing his own reflection in a mirror.

Tonight very well could ruin my generation's most celebrated athlete. An athlete who was noticed in middle school, praised in high school, who had all the attention he could ask for... and then he asked for more. He was labeled the next Jordan and then the first Lebron, and if he ruins this I want a front row seat. If he picks any team other than Cleveland his legacy will never be at the level of Jordan, Bird or Magic... it won't even be at Kobe's level.

This special could be so epic, I am giddy like a child for Christmas morning. We get to witness a grown man, voluntarily putting himself above: not just his teammates, not just his sport, but the entire sports world. Tonight Lebron says "look at me! Look at me! Watch me talk. Watch me dunk. Watch me pick who is going to pay me  millions dollars over the next decade." It's like a little kid trying to get his mommy's attention who is in a conversation. "Mom, hey mom, look at me, mom. Are you watching? Mom? Mom! Mommy look at me! Wahhhhh!" You are not special, you are a human like everyone else.  Who else gets to pick who will pay them millions of dollars and make a game out of it... for a game?

Okay, now as a college student who watches ESPN every morning I feel qualified to share my thoughts on the different scenarios.

Cleveland: The hometown boy remains loyal. Lebron decides that (for the best of his legacy) he will return to Cleveland to (try to) win them a championship. If he were to hold this press conference and not go back to the Cav's he will become more hated than just about any athlete ever... except for the city he chooses. If he leaves Cleveland I might actually feel bad for that dump hole of a city... there would be so many riots...

Chicago: His ego thinks he could one-up Jordan in Jordan's city. Lebron already announced he wouldn't wear #23 next year, was this foreshadowing a move to Chi town? With a young and talented point guard, a great rebounding and defensive big man with a solid supporting cast this is probably the easiest and quickest route for Lebron to get a ring.

New York: The biggest player in the biggest city. Move over A-Rod there is a new douche in town. With Lebron and Stoudemire, the Knicks might actually win a game or two.

New Jersey: I would love to see Lebron go to the Nets and it might actually be the one scenario where I could possibly root for him. Going to a terrible team, about to move to Brooklyn with the craziest owner ever. Oh man, it would be fun to watch. When that crazy Russian bastard Mikhail Prokhorov bought the Nets they instantly became one of my favorite teams. The guy is a nut and will hopefully do great things for the league. Side Note: Can I root for a team just because their owner is crazy? I can't name more than a few current Nets and I used to hate them with a passion...

Miami: All the experts have this as the most likely scenario. Joining Wade and Bosh this would be a total cop out, basically admitting that he couldn't win a championship on his own... But the Heat wouldn't be able to afford a supporting cast and without a sharp-shooter and a solid center this could turn into a great disappointment. But alas, free agency is far from over, trades can be made and the season isn't even close to starting. Anything could happen.

When all is said and done, I really don't care where Lebron ends up. I just know that I will have another team to root against. Except maybe the Nets, but I don't see him going there. The NBA is my least favorite of the four major sports, but I really just think this whole ordeal is insane.

I think I want to watch because I will get to see a major letdown/meltdown/mindfuck that has been unmatched for any sport that is in the offseason. In my mind it is either Cleveland or somewhere else. It won't matter where. This is sports history, and I want to see it crumble.  Sports bars in the different cities are holding viewing parties, those that are let out to dry will riot. People will cry. It will be the great American sports tragedy. And I can't wait to see it unravel.

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