First of all I really feel it is necessary for me to make an open apology. No, not to dining because they thought my last column was encouraging thievery so they reported me to the conduct office. Even though I was actually doing the opposite by exposing how easy it is and the ridiculous reasons why students choose to steal. I mean, what the fuck? I know I suck at writing but am I so bad that I did the exact opposite of what I meant to do? Everything from that column was what I learned from other students, I just wrote it down. (Exact quote referring to what people told me: "Some of their answers were down right hysterical. I was surprised at how many students admitted to stealing cups, plates, coffee mugs, silverware the old salt and pepper shakers and even trays." Half of the people I asked admitted to taking shit and dining points the finger at me. Well, I'm pointing one back at them too. (And it is the bad one). We all loose out when students steal, and even if my sample was small it is pretty obvious that a lot of money goes to waste from all the little things adding up. I didn't say that in the column because I figured people would be smart enough to make that connection on their own. Is that really the column or post that could get me in trouble? The one time I don't talk about underage drinking or drugs! Fuck. Don't worry, next week's column will encourage parties so I should be fine.
I do however owe an apology to my fellow students. Starting on February 8th there was a new food truck on campus. They are called "Irie Taco" and are located next to the lower quad, where the dumpsters are between C-Lot and Engelhardt. I just saw it this morning and as at the campuses premier blogger I feel as though I should have been all over that shit on day one. I haven't had a chance to eat their food yet but you can find their menu here. I have heard that they are really good and have decent prices: $1 soda cans, $2.50 for tacos and around $5 for burritos. I was told they are only here during the day, and I'm not sure if they plan on staying late on weekends, but I'll try to find out ASAP.
While I was walking around campus this morning, running some errands before the weekend and I realized that there are some little things that make me happy. For example, perfectly timing the walk signal at the intersection across from the Whit when there is a lot of traffic. Or getting two items from a vending machine when I only pay for one. Okay, that is all I got for now. Enjoy you're thirsty Thursday and if you don't have plans you should all attend the men's basketball game tonight against Binghamton at 7. The coach and players have really appreciated the bigger crowds and they need good momentum heading into the final stretch of the season. Plus, they are giving out free T-shirts again.
Stay classy, not UMassy.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Drink Of The Week: Cheap Beer
Because this is college, right? When it comes down to the bottom line the best alcohol to bring to a college party is cheap beer. I am not talking $20 30's like Coors Light, I'm talking in the $14-$18 range like Natty Light or Keystone. Why, cheap you ask? Because on the whole we are all pretty much poor. Plus, if someone snags your bag full of beer its much better to have it be full of Keystone Light and not some Sam Adams or something nicer. One knock about beer is that it tends to go fast. Between two roommates a 30 probably won't last a full weekend (especially if you're including Thursday nights). A big handle on the other hand is much more likely to last longer. Also with beer, it is much more tempting to have a couple during the week and with cheap beer that can be a waste if you're not getting wasted.
On the other hand beer is much better to bring to a party since you can drink more of it. Brining a water bottle with cranberry vodka is not going to last long at a party, especially there are a lot of drinking games going on. That brings up my next point about cheap beer, it is the best alcohol for drinking games. Whether it is beirut, kings, asshole, fuck the dealer or any other game, beer is the way to go. If you're playing a drinking game with rum or vodka or any type of hard alcohol you'll be lucky to last a game or two. While Natty Light and Keystone Light seem to be the campus favorite cheep beers I actually prefer PBR.
Personally, I think PBR has a better taste than most cheap beers, despite it's high carbonation. Most cheap beers taste very watery, while PBR does have a little better flavor. It also has a slightly higher alcohol content (5.7%) compared to most beers in it's price range and quality. Keystone Light is only 4.2%. But at the same time PBR isn't a light beer so that would make sense. Most light beers are in the low to mid 4% alcohol range, but heavier beers are usually around 5% (but range up to 10% or higher).
Since PBR isn't a light beer it has 50 more calories than Keystone Light. Drinking a lot of cheap beers will result in mass drunkenness and probably a decent hangover, but what do you expect? You get what you pay for. Most cheap beers are pretty similar, I just like the slightly higher content that PBR has to offer. When it comes to light beers, I would put Keystone just ahead of Natty. I know that everyone has their preferences, but let's face it cheap beer is cheap beer.
Stay classy, not UMassy.
On the other hand beer is much better to bring to a party since you can drink more of it. Brining a water bottle with cranberry vodka is not going to last long at a party, especially there are a lot of drinking games going on. That brings up my next point about cheap beer, it is the best alcohol for drinking games. Whether it is beirut, kings, asshole, fuck the dealer or any other game, beer is the way to go. If you're playing a drinking game with rum or vodka or any type of hard alcohol you'll be lucky to last a game or two. While Natty Light and Keystone Light seem to be the campus favorite cheep beers I actually prefer PBR.
Personally, I think PBR has a better taste than most cheap beers, despite it's high carbonation. Most cheap beers taste very watery, while PBR does have a little better flavor. It also has a slightly higher alcohol content (5.7%) compared to most beers in it's price range and quality. Keystone Light is only 4.2%. But at the same time PBR isn't a light beer so that would make sense. Most light beers are in the low to mid 4% alcohol range, but heavier beers are usually around 5% (but range up to 10% or higher).
Since PBR isn't a light beer it has 50 more calories than Keystone Light. Drinking a lot of cheap beers will result in mass drunkenness and probably a decent hangover, but what do you expect? You get what you pay for. Most cheap beers are pretty similar, I just like the slightly higher content that PBR has to offer. When it comes to light beers, I would put Keystone just ahead of Natty. I know that everyone has their preferences, but let's face it cheap beer is cheap beer.
Stay classy, not UMassy.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Like a Pro: Stealing from Dining
UNH dining halls have a strict policy on what can and cannot be taken, but many students choose to ignore the rules. Students are permitted to take one piece of fruit, a brownie or cookie, and to fill up their Mug Club for free at HoCo, Philbrook or Stillings. These restrictions, which were put in place last year, are meant to save money and waste. During last year trays were also removed from Philbrook and Stillings in an attempt to cut down on uneaten foods and to save water. All of the dining halls have cameras outside the exit doors so students must be at least somewhat sneaky to get away with stealing. Throughout my time at UNH I have noticed that many students take more than what they are allowed from our dining hall, and I will admit that I do it too.
Before I sat down to write this I went to HoCo and partook in some observational research by watching students leave the dining hall. I felt like a creep, but it seemed as though every third or fourth student was attempting to steal. The thieves always had their hands shoved deep in the pockets of a baggy sweatshirt or jacket as if they were hiding something. They all looked nervous and they turned away from the person at the register as they walked by. Over the past two weeks I have been asking friends, acquaintances and complete strangers what they take from the dining halls and why.
Out of the 50 students I polled, 16 students admitted that they take food from the dining halls and seven said they have taken utensils or dishware. Exactly half of the students claimed that they take anything that they can fit under a jacket, while only two students said that they have never stolen from a dining hall. Just about every student has snuck out an extra piece of fruit now and then or maybe a handful of soup crackers, but that is not what I was interested in. Some of their answers are down right hysterical. I was surprised at how many students admitted to taking cups, plates, coffee mugs, silverware, the old salt and peppershakers and even trays.
I bet half the dorm rooms at UNH are fully furnished with kitchen sets from our dining halls. There are obvious reasons for taking certain items; the average student is not MacGyver, so if they take a fork they probably have a bunch of Ramen noodles back at their room. Then there are some items that are less obvious for their uses, such as the small ketchup containers. Now why would some steal one of those? Because they make excellent shot glasses.
The most common use of a tray is for sledding down library hill, trust me it is a blast. Trays can also be used for more practical uses such as a TV dinner stand. For all you romantics out there, remember Valentines Day is right around the corner. Why don’t you surprise you’re special someone with breakfast in bed? All you need is a winter jacket to slip the tray under and you are golden.
In order to write this article as accurately as possible I had to do some true gonzo-journalism. I enlisted several of my closest friends to take an item or two from a dining hall to see what we could get away with. All of our successful thefts were returned later on. Some of the things we got away with included a full salad bowl, trays, cups, and various pieces of silverware. We did return everything though; it was for the good of the study. Things we were not successful with included an armful of oranges, one of the cup carts, a container of cereal and a tray full of food. We did make it out the door with the oranges and the tray of food, but were caught by the register lady. Luckily it was two different people on two different days. When my roommate got caught with the oranges he was told, “this is not a grocery store.” I got caught with the tray and explained how I was a new transfer student and thought I could eat it in the food court. Denied.
According to Jon Plodzik, the director of dining, students who are caught stealing are reported the school’s Judicial Program in violation of the Student Rights, Rules and Conduct Code. Although a total monetary loss is not known, six of the new peppermills have already been stolen, which are priced at $30.25 a piece.
Stay classy, not UMassy.
Pictures of the week for the rest of forever:
I am the greatest Chatrouletter ever. If you can make people laugh they will draw you shit. First a dinosaur:
Stay classy not UMassy.
And then this:
Monday, February 8, 2010
Chatroulette is awesome
Over the weekend I discovered the greatest thing ever, Chatroulette. I guess it has been blowing up lately and fucking with people on it is awesome. It is basically a video/audio chat but it is random and you can next people. A few friends and I were on it the other day and to put it simply, it is amazing, especially when you are drunk. And its even better if you're baked. I have a program where I can change my webcam so I have a goofy background or like a cat face and some other crazy shit and people's reactions are priceless. Last night I had on the cat face and underneath I wrote "You must be trippin'" and the dude freaked out and then held up a massive bong. The only thing is once and a while you see some fucked up shit that may or may not haunt you forever.
In other news that kid who made the "Party at UNH" is at it again. This time it is an original and plans on releasing his album for free download in March. I got an email explaining how "Valhalla" writes, makes his own beats and records all his stuff in his dorm room. A while ago I tried starting a band with William Takefield, him on the guitar and me on my macbook garage band. It was so fucking hard even when we was sober that we gave up. So whether you like it or not you should give this kid some respect because making beats it way hard than you would think. I don't know this kid, but I have met other kid, Evin, who guest sings on this track and he was pretty chill, so I figured why not give them some publicity. Plus they contacted me so they obviously know this is the place to go for students to get the word out.
Stay classy, not UMassy.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Super Bowl Pick
They always say to pick with your head and not your heart... but I really hate the Colts. Although as a sports fan I do respect them.
Prediction:
Saints: 27
Colts: 24
MVP: Drew Brees
Over Under 1.5 members of The Who dying on stage: Under.
Common Townshend is going to tear it up!
I love a good underdog story.
Stay classy, not UMassy.
Prediction:
Saints: 27
Colts: 24
MVP: Drew Brees
Over Under 1.5 members of The Who dying on stage: Under.
Common Townshend is going to tear it up!
I love a good underdog story.
Stay classy, not UMassy.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
There will be Inglorious Baseballs
If you want to read about drugs and alcohol you'll have to wait a few days, I'm trying to be a bit more unpredictable and less cliche. This is a is a random rant on two movies and baseball. I don't really cover sports or movies too much on here even though I am a huge fan of both. As a sports fan I take pride that I am not what people refer to as a "pink-hatter" meaning I was a Red Sox fan pre-2004, a Patriots fan pre-2001, and a Celtics fan pre-2007 (I even went to a Celtics game when the lost like 22 games in a row)... and I still like the Bruins. As a movie fan, I love a good comedy or shoot 'em up film like most college students, but I also love the "classics." I also like a good satire. (But I despise those Wayens brother "________ Movie" movies.)
While a lot of people claim baseball is boring, when you're on the field with the game on the line the intensity is insane. Since the game is slower, it allows time for the tension to build. A baseball game is like Quentin Tarantino's "Inglorious Basterds" or Paul Thomas Anderson's "There Will be Blood" because they are long and drawn out, but they are also amazingly intense... and 3 hours long. Since baseball is slower paced then most sports it allows for intensity to build. A great game climaxes with a walk-off home run or a 95 mile per hour fastball up and in that a hitter chases for strike three. (Like Basterds climax: SPOILER). There is so much strategy leading up to the final innings that a casual sports fan doesn't pick up on, like an a well timed hit-and-run or steal. Almost the same thing can be said about a movie like Inglorious Basterds, or There Will be Blood. A certain wording or delivery to a line, an angle of a shot, or lighting that a casual movie goer doesn't pick up on can add so much more to a scene. For a movie to have an awesome climax it has to have perfect timing and proper scenes prior to build the tension. (Plus any movie about killin' Nazis is awesome in my book.)
As one of my brothers put it, M. Night Shyamalan could not have pulled off an ending like Tarantino in Basterds. Much like a championship baseball team needs the right type of manager. Or any sports team in general, that's why Herm Edwards never won a Super Bowl and Shyamalan never won an Oscar, although he got two nominations for The Sixth Sense. When Edwards coached you always knew he would screw it up when his team was playing well... do I really need to make that connection with Shyamalan?
Those two movies also have two of my all-time favorite bad-ass villains in Christoph Waltz's (if he doesn't win an Oscar for best supporting actor I will flip out the fuck out) Hans Landa, and in Daniel Day-Lewis' Daniel Plainview. No, those characters aren't serial killers setting up bloody traps, but they are greed-filled geniuses who do their job better than anyone else. They aren't out for blood lust, but they perfectly deliver some of the most badass lines ever written. When Day-Lewis gives his monologue you learn that he is one bad dude. Although, possibly his best line in the movie is "I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people." It's simple, straight forward, but perfectly written and delivered.
Okay, I have no idea what I am talking about anymore. I think I might still be drunk from last night. If I may borrow a line from Billy Madison "what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
Stay classy, not UMassy.
While a lot of people claim baseball is boring, when you're on the field with the game on the line the intensity is insane. Since the game is slower, it allows time for the tension to build. A baseball game is like Quentin Tarantino's "Inglorious Basterds" or Paul Thomas Anderson's "There Will be Blood" because they are long and drawn out, but they are also amazingly intense... and 3 hours long. Since baseball is slower paced then most sports it allows for intensity to build. A great game climaxes with a walk-off home run or a 95 mile per hour fastball up and in that a hitter chases for strike three. (Like Basterds climax: SPOILER). There is so much strategy leading up to the final innings that a casual sports fan doesn't pick up on, like an a well timed hit-and-run or steal. Almost the same thing can be said about a movie like Inglorious Basterds, or There Will be Blood. A certain wording or delivery to a line, an angle of a shot, or lighting that a casual movie goer doesn't pick up on can add so much more to a scene. For a movie to have an awesome climax it has to have perfect timing and proper scenes prior to build the tension. (Plus any movie about killin' Nazis is awesome in my book.)
As one of my brothers put it, M. Night Shyamalan could not have pulled off an ending like Tarantino in Basterds. Much like a championship baseball team needs the right type of manager. Or any sports team in general, that's why Herm Edwards never won a Super Bowl and Shyamalan never won an Oscar, although he got two nominations for The Sixth Sense. When Edwards coached you always knew he would screw it up when his team was playing well... do I really need to make that connection with Shyamalan?
Those two movies also have two of my all-time favorite bad-ass villains in Christoph Waltz's (if he doesn't win an Oscar for best supporting actor I will flip out the fuck out) Hans Landa, and in Daniel Day-Lewis' Daniel Plainview. No, those characters aren't serial killers setting up bloody traps, but they are greed-filled geniuses who do their job better than anyone else. They aren't out for blood lust, but they perfectly deliver some of the most badass lines ever written. When Day-Lewis gives his monologue you learn that he is one bad dude. Although, possibly his best line in the movie is "I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people." It's simple, straight forward, but perfectly written and delivered.
Okay, I have no idea what I am talking about anymore. I think I might still be drunk from last night. If I may borrow a line from Billy Madison "what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
Stay classy, not UMassy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)