Making Changes

If you're not blind, which I am assuming unless you have a brail print out of this blog, you may have noticed that I have made some layout and format changes. If you didn't notice I changed the color scheme a bit. I also changes some things on the right sidebar. Where the UNH logo is I plan on changing each week (starting next semester)  to a different picture taken by me or a reader. Feel free to send funny, cool and blog appropriate pictures as submissions. All my contacts are also listed over there as well as some reader confessionals. So if you leave an awesome comment (like how this blog changed your life) it could be added. (I will not add anonymous comments though so make up a nickname or whatever.) Let me know if you have any suggestions to make the blog better and more appealing.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

SCOPE: Primed for a big spring show.

Don't believe me? Well for once I have facts to back up my statements. Everyone at UNH already knows about SCOPE, the Student Committee On Popular Entertainment. They are the students who hire different bands, various musicians and comedians to entertain, or at least attempt to entertain, the student body. I have already dedicated several posts in the past to mocking SCOPE, but I feel it is necessary to take a look inside SCOPE.
Through the help of several anonymous field agents at various universities I have been able gather information that is usually not released to the public. This is serious stuff, one student has already been fired for tipping off one of my field agents at UMaine. Don't believe me? Read this.
What I have learned is that for this year SCOPE has a budget of $203,000 to cover artist and agent fees and a production budget of $65,000. The production fee covers expenses such as security, renting the Whittemore Center, lighting, sound equipment and other things of that nature. SCOPE is budgeted for a revenue of $140,000 a year, which actually goes to the Student Activity Fee. The SAF is where the original money comes from and SCOPE must get an approval from that office before committing to a specific performer. If SCOPE meets or exceeds that $140,000 they are more easily approved for a bigger show in the spring or the following year. So the bottom line is if we by tickets to the homecoming and winter shows (preferably make them sellout) we can expect a bigger and better show for Spring Climax.
My Maine agent was able to find out (through the VP of their student entertainment board who has since been fired) that UMaine was alloted $260,000 this year. And for that I applaud SCOPE because we have had Akon (who although I don't like is a huge name that made a lot of money) and a very funny, but not a hugely named comedian. (Bo Burnham tonight!)  So far this year UMaine has had The Decemberists, Dierks Bentley and Bob "I suck dick for coke" Saget. Saget may be a bigger name than Burnham, but he is old and past his prime. I don't really see him appealing to a younger college-aged audience. SCOPE has been getting better college shows for less money, well done. (But is that really a surprise, I mean who would want to go perform at UMaine, even if they can pay more?) I feel as though SCOPE has set themselves up nicely for a big Spring Climax show because of how much money they probably brought in from Akon alone, plus tonight's show. This means that they should have a nice amount left to spend and an approval for a bigger show. SCOPE, please do not let me down. You have earned my trust that the spring show will be big. Please don't make me eat my words.  Let's see what you got!

On a side note I heard this song the other day and I think I like it. It's by Goldfish who I guess are like South Africa's answer to MGMT. It's different from my usual music taste, but it's kind of catchy.


Stay classy, not UMassy.

Really Google?

Stay classy, not UMassy.

So there's this new invention called a shovel...

 Hey UNH, If you decide not to cancel classes during a fucking blizzard would it be possible to shovel or plow the paths around campus? That wouldn't be too much trouble would it? I mean I walk outside my dorm this morning to get some grub at HOCO and it's like fucking Alaska out there. Luckily my $15 boots from Wal*Mart can handle the snow, slush,  and ice. That's Wal*Mart for all your campus needs. (This blog is now sponsored by Wal*Mart.) I actually lucked out big time today, one of my professors canceled class, which only meets once a week, and we got an extra week on a final paper.

Got to feel bad for commuters! At least those paths are cleared.

So how about that campus alert yesterday? According to rumors gathered by some of my trusty field agents and the boredatunh message board a student had his room searched and cops found small smoke bombs and a giant tarantula. (Insert Samuel L Jackson sound bite "I want this motherfucking tarantula out of this motherfucking dorm room.") The police determined that this student was not the suspect and he was asked to return the spider to a lab where already had 24 hour access for bio projects. I am not sure how accurate that is, but I heard that from a few close friends who live on his floor.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

(PS: I'm not really sponsored by Wal*Mart...)

Like a Pro: The UNH Wish List

When I was a young child I used to love flipping through the toy catalogues to help me prepare my holiday wish list. I remember circling the different toys and arguing with my brothers about which of us would ask for a specific item. I remember racing to the mailbox to see if any new catalogues had arrived; these days were almost exciting as Christmas itself. In recent years I have missed those days when I could get away with asking for all toys, even if I knew I wouldn’t get half of them. Now everything I ask for is boring, like a new printer or some clothes. So, to relive some of my best memories, I have created the UNH holiday wish list, where anything is possible.

For this year’s holidays, UNH is asking for…

A new football stadium. Over the past few seasons our beloved Wildcats have become one of the premier teams in all of the FCS, yet they play home games at one of the worst stadiums in the league. It is old, tiny and ugly. I feel like a plan for a new stadium and a renovated Field House have been in the works for years now. A new stadium would help attract more recruits and fans, which would lead to an increase in revenue.

A varsity baseball team. Since 1997 when UNH adopted Title IX, which requires equal athletic scholarships to men and women, varsity baseball, softball and men’s lacrosse were all cut. Is this not America? Is baseball not America’s favorite pastime? As long as there is no baseball at UNH, it is quite obvious that UNH hates America. I think the old dugouts without an infield behind the Field House is one of the saddest sights on campus.

SCOPE to put on a concert that doesn’t enrage half of the student body. I admit that SCOPE does a great job with their limited budget and that everyone has a different taste in music, but I feel like every show they put on people flip out over it. Maybe this wish should actually be for more understanding students.

No more campus violence and for the Halloween assault to be solved. Is it possible to go a semester without some type of assault? With the amount of students at UNH there will always be conflict, so maybe we should be more protective of one another. Establishing a Good Samaritan Law would also help with prevent violence and could help raise campus awareness. It could also save a life.

Students to have a greater voice on campus. I feel like the university is too rash in making decisions and changes without approaching the students. Even the student senate has had trouble making progress this year. Students need to realize, that despite the university’s best efforts, we can make a difference.

A new and improved advising system. Year after year advisors cancel meetings, miss emails and seem overly busy with their work as professors. A possible solution is that professors only advise upperclassmen once they have picked their focus within a major; the different colleges, like WSBE or COLA, would provide advisors to the freshmen. This way advisors and students would have more in common. It’s just a thought.

A replay board at the Whittemore Center. Seriously, what good does that yellow light bulb scoreboard at the far end from the student section do?  A nice little replay board would be awesome and create a better atmosphere at the Whitt. It could also help cut down on vulgarity when fans realize that a call went the right way.

Students to show support for all sports teams. Men’s hockey and football get all the glory at UNH, but let us not forget that the women’s hockey team is currently ranked third in the country and they have had more playoff success in recent years then their male counterparts. The basketball team put up a tough fight last week to Pittsburgh, who was a top seed in last year’s NCAA tournament, and they are looking to be a contender in America East, yet they regularly play in front of embarrassingly small crowds.

Well, that about wraps up the UNH holiday wish list. If just one of these things were to come true I am sure it would lead to a better campus. It had been a semester to remember. Until next year,



Stay classy, not UMassy,

The New Hampshirite

Worst. Video. Ever.

Why? Okay, I know Boston Barstool already posted this video, but it is so terrible I had to share it with all of you. Like, was this a joke? So awesomely bad. My mind is broke. I can't... I'm lost... wow. I mean, he wears a Yankee hat... and "raps" about the Red Sox and Celtics... and the pictures of his friends and... why?

Stay classy, not UMassy.

UNH Monday Updates

UNH has new famous alumni... and it is Rachel Uchitel, one of the women Tiger Woods supposedly had an affair with. Uchitel graduated from UNH in 1996 with a degree in psychology. Good to see she's putting her education to work with her job as a hostess in New York City.  I'm not sure if she is at the level of Jackie MacMullan, Jason Krog, Mike O'Malley or John Irving, but she is making her case. No word yet on how many professor Uchitel slept with to get her degree, although it can be assumed that a 9 iron was involved. (Bad joke of the day: check)

In other news, last night a 6 hour student senate meeting took place where Smith Hall residents and supporters were able to voice their opinions on the repurposing of UNH's oldest dorm. The student senate passed a resolution condemning the actions of President Huddelston. Students are still hoping that they can change the administrations mind over the decision to turn Smith Hall into the new admissions office... if only a famous alumni who lived in Smith would speak on it's behalf... Hey, Rachel, where did you live on campus?

I would now like to explain a few things about this blog. I have been writing it for 8 months now (counting the summer even though I barely wrote) and a few things have come to fruition. First of all, I realize that I have built a dedicated fan base of regular readers. That is awesome, thank you so much. Every week it seems as though more people have been reading and that really is an honor. I have also been receiving more campus tips via email, facebook and twitter, which is awesome. Those people know who they are and they are the best. I would love to be able to continue this growth through the support of fellow students. If you have an issue or tip about a campus happening let me know. Even if it is something small like your band is playing at Panache, I can write up a quick preview or something.

Secondly, I realize that other people don't like the blog, which makes sense because you can't please everyone. I'm not going to try and win those people over or explain myself, but I would like to say a few things. Not everything on here is meant to be taken 100% seriously. Most of the negative feedback I get comes form people who seem to be missing the bigger picture. This is a blog, not a textbook, which means I don't have to have sources and I can make up ridiculous statements for comical purposes. Sarcasm and irony can be very difficult concepts for some people. Also, if you don't like this, then don't read it. Nobody's making you.

A quick note my final TNH column of the semester will be in tomorrow's paper and it is awesome as always.

Stay classy, not UMassy.