Wednesday, December 9, 2009

So there's this new invention called a shovel...

 Hey UNH, If you decide not to cancel classes during a fucking blizzard would it be possible to shovel or plow the paths around campus? That wouldn't be too much trouble would it? I mean I walk outside my dorm this morning to get some grub at HOCO and it's like fucking Alaska out there. Luckily my $15 boots from Wal*Mart can handle the snow, slush,  and ice. That's Wal*Mart for all your campus needs. (This blog is now sponsored by Wal*Mart.) I actually lucked out big time today, one of my professors canceled class, which only meets once a week, and we got an extra week on a final paper.

Got to feel bad for commuters! At least those paths are cleared.

So how about that campus alert yesterday? According to rumors gathered by some of my trusty field agents and the boredatunh message board a student had his room searched and cops found small smoke bombs and a giant tarantula. (Insert Samuel L Jackson sound bite "I want this motherfucking tarantula out of this motherfucking dorm room.") The police determined that this student was not the suspect and he was asked to return the spider to a lab where already had 24 hour access for bio projects. I am not sure how accurate that is, but I heard that from a few close friends who live on his floor.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

(PS: I'm not really sponsored by Wal*Mart...)

8 comments:

  1. The spider thing is totally true. He's my neighbor.. I saw it.... its GIANT!!!!

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  2. i'm confused... the pathways looked shoveled in that picture? and... did they find smoke bombs?
    and they took his spider out of his room, put it in a university lab and granted him access to see his baby whenever he wants? i'm so confused i think i hate this post

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  3. that picture was taking in the afternoon, i meant in the morning... and the paths near the street get cleared first.

    yes there were smoke bombs, but he wasn't the guy with a gun. he already had full lab access, which is why he had the spider, for constant surveillance for a bio project. they just made him put the spider back in the lab.

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  4. I realize i could have worded that better so I fixed it.

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  5. You called that a Blizzard..... Shit man..... that was a dusting .....

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  6. ... yeah I was exaggerated a bit to make a point. don't get me wrong i've lived in NH my whole life.

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  7. manhattan chowda'.... neva' heard' of it!

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