Too Much Beer is Not Enough

Well, I hope you all had a very exciting and adventurous long weekend. It was much harder to get back into class mode (sober) today than I expected. I have a few quick things to touch on today so I hope at least one of them will interest all of you. I know in a previous post I promised I wouldn't discuss college rankings for a while but it has been brought to my attention that the Princeton Review named UNH the number 2 school in the nation for "Lots of Beer" ranking behind only Penn State. Finally, a ranking we can be proud of! Although in all honesty I'm not sure how these rankings are created. The one thing I do know is that I like beer, and I guess that is all that matters. But with all good things there is always a downside. More beer means more cops, which means more of a pain in my ass. Or our ass as a collective student body.

The Union Leader ran an article today about how UNH is working with police to crack down on off campus houses and apartments that are too rowdy. I have one thing to say: GET A FUCKING LIFE! It is really worth it to pay a police force all this money for them to sit around and arrest 18-20 year old kids for drinking a beer? College students are going to have fun, and drink alcohol and probably smoke weed and honestly there are so many other things that the school should be concerned about. The whole idea of getting a house or apartment off campus is to have more freedom to drink without worrying about RA's and other university employees.

A lot of kids realize that they can't do much then sit quietly in a dorm and drink so they either join a fraternity or get an apartment. If UNH cracks down more on the apartments, then that leaves just fraternities for parties. A lot of kids already join frats for the social aspect, but there are others who join for their future resume. If more kids join frats looking to only party then the whole Greek system takes a hit. Fraternities will begin to loose their attraction to students with higher GPA's and soon enough there won't be any recognized fraternities on campus. See the picture I am painting for you? Colleges in general need off campus apartments and houses to be rowdy, simply because they are off campus. Otherwise the campus organizations will collapse and the university as a whole takes a reputation hit. Believe it or not, universities with a strong Greek system is a very good thing. It makes the university much more attractive to incoming students.

UNH is obviously overly concerned with its reputation of being a "party school" which is why this past weekend over 60 arrests were made with the huge majority being alcohol related issues. I want to know how much money is being spent for these cops to do their "jobs." The cops can arrest everyone they want, but the fact is that kids are still going to drink. How come there haven't been any articles about the conditions of the some of the dorms or other buildings? Go into any of the buildings that are more than 10 years old and rusty pipes are exposed everywhere, to say the least. Most of the big lecture halls on campus have terrible heating, the bottom of the room being freezing cold and the top rows are hotter than fuck. I know there are dozens of other things worth complaining about, but I don't feel like going through them all.

I would also like to mention that a "sister" blog has been started at UMaine by a close friend of mine. He's new to the game so show him support... or at least let him know what you think of Maine. I was thinking about asking some friends at UMass and UVM if they would be interested in creating some sort of New England State University Blogger League, but then I realize that people at UMass can't spell and those at UVM smoke way too much weed to remember to blog on a regular basis.

The Princeton Review also listed UNH as a college with poor diversity and culture. So with today's song of the day I have picked out a foreign culture song that is great to drink to.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead.

Before I cover this weekend's shenanigans, I have something much more important and serious to talk about. Six years ago today cancer took the life of musician Warren Zevon. Zevon, a highly underrated performer was best known for his hit “Werewolves of London” and other songs “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead,” “Excitable Boy,” “Lawyers, Guns, and Money” and “Splendid Isolation.” Although I didn’t start listening to him until this past summer many of Zevon’s songs have quickly climbed to the top of my itunes. Zevon, who was very good friends with David Letterman was a frequent guest on the show, the most memorable was when he was the only guest and stayed on for the entire show, shortly after announcing his cancer diagnosis. Zevon refused treatment, partially due to his life long fear of doctors and he accepted his grim future by recording a final album “The Wind” in which he recorded a version of Bob Dylan’s “Knocking on Heaven’s Door.” I do not consider myself to be an emotional person, but I can’t help but get the chills to say the least every time I watch this performance of “My Shit’s Fucked Up,” (see below) a song he wrote before he learned of his diagnosis, but took on a completely different meaning after. Zevon was just 56 years old at the time of his passing. Zevon often said he made choices that probably didn’t help his life, but he was always glad that he had fun, or as he put it to “enjoy every sandwich.”

I can’t help but agree with Zevon on his perspective of life. I know that he obviously did some hard-core shit, stuff that I’ll never touch, but as a student at a rambunctious university I’m going to have my share of fun, especially on the weekends. And this weekend has been no exception.

Things started off kind of slow on Thirsty Thursday, primarily because most of my friends have Friday classes, but that didn’t stop us (me) from drinking most of a large jug of Carlo Rossi Sangria, the most deliciously cheap red wine available. I highly recommend it. That night I made my first D-Hop trip of the year and I was very pleased to see the trumpet and banjo kids were back at their posts, pan-handling out front of the campus’ best pizzeria. I didn’t puke. One for one!

Friday night things picked up a little. I stepped up from wine to Svedka. A couple friends and I played a few round of dringa (a drinking version of jenga, in which every piece has a different rule on it.) Most of the rules are simple like take 3; give 4 and others have many same rules as Kings. But then there are a few pieces such as “act out a movie scene” (I nailed that one) do 25 push-ups and do a summersault (which has a huge puke factor). After this we went to a small “get together” at one of our university's fine fraternities. I made it back to my bed without puking. Two for Two!

On Saturday, after attending the football game, things picked up where they left off that morning. A friend of mine from UMaine who was home for the weekend stayed over for the night. After a few drinking games we made it to D-Hop for my second trip of the year. We were planning on having my friend buy a large pizza and handing the slices out to show that UMaine kids aren’t all bad. By the time we got to D-Hop we completely forgot about the plan. As a side note: I bought a pack of cloves at Store 24 and got carded for the first time in my life. (I’ve never bought tobacco before.) While at D-Hop we ran into a kid I knew in high school who invited us back to his apartment where we became influenced by a substance other than alcohol. I personally didn’t puke this night either. Three for three! Success!

When I got back to my room early Sunday morning I checked my facebook account for the blog and I ended up chatting with a reader. His name is Allen F, he lives in big willy and he is the man. (Ladies.) This is a short clip of the brief chat we had:

NH: thanks, i promise to keep writing if you tell a friend about the blog.

Allen: i just told three friends i deserve a fucking medal

NH: word. ill give you a shout out if you want.

Allen: ha thatd be solid man, thanks

NH: done deal.

Allen, not only do you get a shout out, here is your fucking medal.

So listen people, if you add me on facebook you just might get to chat with me. Don’t be shy, but more importantly,

Stay classy, not UMassy.

Friday's Weekend Preview

There is nothing better than a warm, sunny Friday in Durham, unless of course, that you don't have Friday classes. I am very excited for the football game tomorrow, don't forget about the free BBQ offered to students before the game. UNH is expected to be a National Championship contender this season and St. Francis didn't win a game all last year, so it should be a blowout.

Happy Labor Day Weekend.

For those of you new to the blog, I usually don't post Saturdays and Sundays, so don't be worried if there is nothing new up over the weekend. However, if something comes up, a weekend post is not out of the question. I am very happy to say that the amount of page views per day has increased each day since last weekend, which means that I must be doing something right. But I am still under the amount of average viewers I had at the end of last semester. So, please be sure to tell your friends about the site, because I would like to reach the biggest audience possible.

I also encourage readers to comment on blog posts because that will help me get to know my readers better. It is quick and easy and you can remain anonymous. Also don't forget that the New Hampshirite is on facebook and twitter. I'm really trying to keep the blog up with all these technological advances. Speaking of technology, check out this video. I first saw the original version a few years back, but after a professor showed an updated version this week I have decided to share it with all of you. It is very interesting so take a minute to check it out.

Last night I made my first D-Hop trip of the year and I have decided that I will be keeping a tally to see how man times I go there in a semester. (Keep in mind that probably about 90% of those trips I will be very, very drunk.) That's it for now, have a nice long weekend, stay safe, stay smart, stay drunk. I hope that most of you will be at the football game tomorrow.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

CNN: 'Bad Guys' Grow Pot

I would like to take a quick break from reporting on UNH issues to discuss an article I came across on cnn.com. The article is entitled "Pot farms run by 'bad guys' getting closer to tourists spots." The article basically says how people (mostly in debt illegal Mexican immigrants) are growing marijuana farms in national and states parks. I would first like to point out how "bad guys" was in quotations in the actual title on CNN. I know that CNN is liberal but the author obviously doesn't think that these guys are that bad. CNN also posted this picture in the article:

This guys looks a little too happy.

That is probably the coolest ATV ever, imagine driving that around campus. According to the article a multi-agency sting in California's Fresno County netted 420,000 plants, worth $1.6 billion, and the arrests of 100 people this past July.

While on this topic I present to you today's song of the day: "Must be the Ganja" by Eminem off of his latest album Relapse.

One quick thing about the blog. Over the past few days I have received two pages hits from people looking up "UNH Porn" on Google. (New readers: I did an experiment last year by titling a post that because I can see how people search for the blog.) Also, today I got a page hit from someone in Turkey who searched "Nonsensical Porn," that is just disturbing. I have also noticed that someone from Bowling Green University reads the blog almost everyday. I don't know anyone who goes to that school and I was just wondering why you would be so interested in a UNH specific blog? So if you're reading this, thanks, but also why are you?

Enjoy the first Thirsty Thursday of the year everyone!

Stay classy, not UMassy.

UNH Ranked 454th best College in America

According to Forbes Magazine UNH is the 454^th (that number is a palindrome like the word "dad") best college in America. Forbes only ranked the top 600 so don't take it to hard. We landed between San Francisco University and Calvin College. Forbes based 25% of the rankings on student satisfaction with their course instruction. Another 25% was based on indicators of post-graduate employment success, and one-sixth (16.67%) on the likelihood of graduation from college within four years. They estimated average four-year student loan debt for each college and this was 20% of the ranking. The final 13.33% was on the student and faculty success in winning national and international competitive academic and research awards. The number one school in the nation was West Point Military Academy, which beat out last years winner, Princeton.

Some notable colleges and universities that ranked behind UNH are: Northeastern, WPI, Liberty University (obviously that school sucks), Temple, Purdue, Miami Fl, Auburn and RPI just to name a few. I really don't think that these rankings mean anything at all (UMass was ahead of us so something wasn't quite right), in my opinion if you get a degree from any school you should be able to get a solid job and that is all that matters. I promise I won’t be doing any more posts on college rankings for awhile...

Anyways, happy Wednesday everybody, and hump day for those of you who have classes everyday. I was able to get Fridays off this year so I’m pretty pumped for this four-day weekend right off the bat.

I’m sure most of you have realized by now that you either a) severely over packed or b) forgot some key essentials. I happen to fall in the second group, realizing that dorm room beds are as hard as a piece of granite without a mattress pad. I have also learned that my printer no longer works and gets a paper jam every time I turn it on. Not cool. I didn’t use it once all summer and now I may have to rely on the library or friends.

I have another general assumption to make, you all either: a) spent a shit load on books and will no longer be able to buy cocaine. (Greatest line ever? Bob Saget has really tried hard to erase that Danny Tanner good guy image huh?) b) you didn’t buy any books or c) you lucked out and didn’t have to spend much at all. Once again I fall into the latter category, spending a UNH career low of $130 bucks this semester. Let’s just say, I do not have to push it to the limit, because I am poor. (Greatest montage ever?)

I basically wrote that entire paragraph because I wanted to link to those two clips. That's why it doesn't make any sense. So if you don't watch those clips you just wasted our time. If that is that case I have one thing to say to you:

I'm pretty sure that nothing in this post has made any sense and is no way relevant with anything. I apologize.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

GQ Names 25 Douchiest Colleges

GQ recently released their first list of the Top 25 Douchiest Colleges in America and (obviously) UNH was left off the list. Congratulations everyone! We are not considered to be highly douchebagic! I expect you all to text any of your friends whose schools do appear on the list, just to let them know how lame they are. (Even though most kids who goes to some of these schools will probably be our bosses in 10 years...)

In fact the only America East/Hockey East school on the list was BU, which received the title of "The Future Marketing Executives of America Douche" at number 18. UVM was giving an Honorable Mention at #10 for the "Kind-Bud Douche" which went to Colorado. Honestly, I was very surprised to see that UMass was left of the list considering the amount of douchbaggery that goes on down there. I know what you're thinking, "How about UMaine, aren't they considered to be our biggest rival?" Yes they are and I would be all over GQ but UMaine doesn't have anything really going for them right now. Especially because of the lack of talent on their hockey team over the past few years. Unfortunately I believe that Mrs. Kariya (mother of several UMaine standouts) is past her hockey-talent-producing-prime.

Yeah...

Here is the list in it's entirety. Click the top link to see GQ's reasons behind each ranking.

25)University of Virginia

24)University of Texas

23) Randolph-Macon

22)Vassar

21)Trinity

20)Morehouse

19)Ohio State

18)Boston University

17)University of Chicago

16)University of Southern California

15)Notre Dame

14) Arizona State

13) University of Georgia

12)University of Phoenix

11)NYU

10)University of Colorado (UVM runner-up)

9)Charter College, Wasilla

8)Rollins College

7)Amherst College

6)Bob Jones

5)Deep Springs

4)Harvard

3)Princeton

2)Duke

1)Brown

I still insist that UMass is the douchiest college in America for the simple fact that they once threw apples at UNH football players and fans. It is one thing to yell and curse at others, but potentially causing bodily harm is barbaric and completely out of line. Therefore I will continue using the same old sign-off as always.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

The Weirdest SOTD Yet

For today's song of the day I present to you "Top Drawer" by Man Man. They can be described as experimental, alternative, or psychedelic rock. Picture Freddie Mercury, Jim Morrison and Tom Waits making taking acid and forming a band... They were the opening act at a concert I went to (they had war paint and were tripping) and I didn't actually like them too much, but after I heard some of their studio works I started to come around.

I will have a post about UNH being left off another list (this time its a good thing) up later tonight; so stay tuned.

Have a nice day. Stay classy, not UMassy.

PS expect something special for post #100 in about 2 weeks.