Friday, May 29, 2009

Trans-Global Googlelization

Not having the internet these last few days has led me to better understand myself. Over this past week I couldn’t believe how many times I strolled into my house’s office in hopes of expanding my useless knowledge by using Google; only to realize that the room was completely empty. I kept track of a few of these things that I needed to know. The following is only a small fraction of the questions I asked myself over the past week. Without Google I didn't know where to go.

  • The name of the Clint Eastwood movie on AMC. (In the Line of Fire)
  • How many movies Morgan Freeman has narrated. (6)
  • Where my name ranked on the Social Security Administrations 2008 top baby names. (Top 50 but has declined each year since 2000.)
  • Jason Bay’s highest single season homerun tally. (35)
  • Red Sox hit streak record. (Dom DiMaggio 34 in 1949)
  • Beastie Boy’s new album release date. (December 29th)
  • What year The Godfather came out. (1972)

I realize that none of this information was even remotely relative to my life. This discovery has led me to believe that Google is trying to slowly take over the world by brainwashing and filling the minds of innocent people. I wouldn’t be surprised if Google is actually run by the US or the Chinese government. It is a tactic that has worked well to help take peoples’ minds off important events. Take a look at the latest Google Trends to see for yourself. Notice how nothing important comes up for a until at least the 20's. We have become dependent on search engines like Google to tell us what to do and if we are not careful soon we will feel the true rath of the Google and it's brainwashing capabilities.

Google Safely.

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