Friday, May 15, 2009

Bold Predictions

Well I’m done with finals and I have moved back home with my parents. This has been an awesome year and I can’t believe that it is already over. I’m looking forward for the fall; I think that next year will be real fun. It will definitely be nice to make some money this summer, I got a job lined up working at a tree nursery so hopefully the cash will come rolling in. I know that TNH covered the year’s highlights in their final issue, so instead of looking back I’m going to look into the future. Here are my bold predictions for the 2009-2010 school year at UNH and around the world:

UNH Athletics

  • The Men’s basketball team will win the American East tournament and make their first ever NCAA appearance, where they will get blown out (by 30 +/- 10) in the first round by UCONN. They have a lot of solid talent returning and the team has continued to improve each year under Coach Herrion.
  • Blake Kessel will win Hockey East Defensemen of the year. Kessel was outstanding as a freshman and although at times he played his man a little too tight I think he will continue to improve. He will receive competition from BU goalie Kieran Millan, who will have to settle for Goaltender of the year.
  • The men’s hockey team will have a great season, but once again break our hearts in the national tournament. I hate to say it but I don’t think Umile has what it takes to coach a (national) championship team.
  • The women’s hockey team will break the curse and bring a National Championship to Durham… only 90% of the campus wont know/care. They have tremendous talent and two of the best goalies in Hockey East who will keep each other fresh down the stretch.
  • The football team will give Ball State a run for their money. UNH has beaten a Bowl Subdivision (DIA) team 4 times in the last 5 years, but Ball State is much better than the teams we’ve played in the past. I wouldn’t be surprised by a UNH win but it should be a good game either way.


  • At least one fraternity (remember your country isn’t a cunt) will get shut down.
  • A professor will be fired after a lecturing on the theory of evolution. Wait never mind, this isn’t Liberty University.
  • SCOPE will rebound from Jimmy Fallon and land a big time homecoming comedian.
  • The advising system will be reworked after another year of student complaints.
  • SCOPE will also get a decent band for the field house, which will surprisingly be a much better show than the spring climax in the Whit. (I feel like this always happens.)
  • Halloween 2009 will feature more arrests than this year’s spring climax weekend.


  • A Somalian Pirate will die from Swine Flu.
  • Two new flus will cause chaos and then disapear. It will be called "Flugate."
  • Al Gore will do something crazy. (Goregate?)
  • "Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus" will be this years "Snakes on a Plane." (Props to RBM for being the first.)
  • A big named politician will go to jail.
  • Bill O'Reilly will piss me off. Stephen Colbert will make me feel better.
  • The greatest teacher sex scandle will occur in the spring of 2010. It will be called "Teachergate."
  • There will be at least seven things that happen that the media will dub ____gate.
  • 2010 will be known as Mediagate.

That's all I got. I hope that people will continue to read the blog as I get better at writing. It’s still a work in progress. I hope to continue with the recent success. I actually got my 3,000 visitor today and over 7,500 page hits. I’ll gladly take that for my first month and a half. While I’m on the topic the ‘UNH Porn” search experiment has reached 5. Fuckin’ creepers…

Stay classy, not UMassy and have a great summer.


  1. greatest movie trailer ever? yes.

  2. you know nothing about politics