What's wrong with Chex Mix?

Most of you have probably heard of texts from last night, but how about voice mail messages from last night? The video below is the audio of a voice message I received over the weekend. Between this message and the fact I woke up on Saturday with my pants inside-out and on Sunday with my room full of balloons I would say I had a pretty eventful weekend. The reason for the "record-scratch" sound effect is to block out my name.

Stay classy, not UMassy.