By: Geoff Cunningham
Recently, one of my suitemates was walking toward our dorm, and he saw that a few people were congregating in front of the door. They didn’t appear to want to move, so he attempted to walk around them and through the door. While he was doing this, one of the guys turned around and smacked my suitemate in the leg with the longboard that he was holding. Instead of saying something like, “Sorry” or “Excuse me,” you know, like a human being would do, he said, “Dude! Watch the board” in the pitch-perfect tone of a bro.
Just a few days prior, I was walking down the sidewalk outside of Hoco, and a dude on a longboard was rolling directly toward me, looking as if he had no intention of slowing down. I certainly wasn’t going to get out of the way. It’s a sidewalk for God’s sake. They’re for walking. But he didn’t seem to care. When he was less than a foot away from me, he jumped off the sidewalk and onto the street where he belongs, leaving behind a slight scent of AXE in the air.
This brings me to my point: Just because you board, doesn’t mean you’re cool. I know. For some of you out there, that may seem like a foreign concept. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not referring to all longboarders. One of my suitemates longboards, and I love the guy. However, I am referring to the, how shall I say, douchebags and/or bros who think that they’re the shit and that they don’t need to exhibit common courtesy because they longboard (refer back to paragraphs one and two).
I’m sure many of you have noticed that all of a sudden there seems to have been a massive increase of longboarders on campus. I don’t remember there being giant packs of people longboarding during my previous three years here. Most likely, it’s just a fad, and a bunch of people are jumping on the bandwagon because they think it’ll make them look cool. Hence, the douchebags I mentioned earlier. But that’s what our society is all about, right? “I better do this because everybody else is doing it. If I don’t do it, everybody will think I’m lame. And if everybody thinks I’m lame, I’ll die alone.”
But I don’t want to be completely negative here. Longboarders can also provide me with fantastic entertainment. One of my favorite hobbies is watching the longboarders tank it from my window. You can say I’m a terrible person, but we all know it’s amusing. This is America, dammit! We love to watch people hurt themselves, don’t we?
In conclusion, longboarders…don’t be dicks. Seriously.