This game was exactly like how one blog commenter described it, "Christmas came early this year." This win was great for UNH. However, while Christmas came early for UNH Football, it certainly became Christmas morning for my liver and stomach. We must have had 5 coolers of beer and food for a full three hours of nonstop tailgating. What a perfect day too, minus the windburn. Clearly UMASS doesn't know how to tailgate cause I rarely saw any UMASS people out in the lot, they probably got their asses kicked or too pussy to show up. Where's that chode Devlin? I kid, I kid. Don't worry UNH has got this. Tailgating is a skill: absolute sheer preparation and execution are key. I will teach you the skills young Skywalkers as well as some important do's don'ts for tailgating at Gillette Stadium so you're set for next year!
1.Fun attire is the best attire. Instead of wearing the classic UNH Wildcats, UNH Football, etc, do something different like wear a shirt saying, "We bust ours to bust yours." or like the guy at the St. Louis Blues game with the shirt "I shaved my balls for this" is absolutely fabulous (via Deadspin). Someone make the girl version, "I shaved my cooter for this". These witty garments show you're a true fan and not so serious and upstight. Also, loved the "BEAT UMASS" t-shirts I saw, someone hook me up with one.
2. Form and Function=A lot of food in a short amount of time. This grill is a beast. It folds, it holds, and it molds (hey I try) some great tasting chicken wangs, brats, hotdogs, burgers, etc. Its even on fucking WHEELS! I'm still full from Saturday. Also, a great chef who knows his hardware is also key. Honestly, just let the men takeover. Ladies, whip up that mac salad.
|No this is not me, only a great shirt my sister is wearing. Case in point.|
|Damn youz a sexiii bitch|
|Case in point: Here are 12 biddies getting into a police van after getting caught for 'unlawful possession'. Don't be a fucking moron.|
|Don't end up on one of these. Embarrassing.|
|Oh here we are...kicking ass per usual.|
8. Who the fuck in Gnarlz? This person has the best seat in the house. I would love to be him/her (trying not to be sexist mmmkay?) for a day at UNH football or hockey game. Taking pictures with people, getting the crowd amped, and getting the best seat in the house every time. So jealous. I hope you comment.
|Fucking Gnarlz, Fucking Wild E. You suck. I want your life that day.|
9a.Let's shit on UMASS. Why is there a man in a chicken suit on the UMASS side? As El Pres would *maybe* say, "does wearing a chicken suit on the losing team's fan side get you laid?." the answer is no. GTFO.
|Go back to your coop.|
|I think the tuba section would have a better chance of winning than the 'team' that showed up for UMASS|
|Kinda blurry, but you get the point. Just creates negative attention.|
Cannot wait for next year!