Just when I thought that the year was winding down and UNH would not be providing me with any inspiration, I woke up to this email in my inbox:
Dear Gables resident,
The past weekend at the Gables our staff and the UNH Police dealt with a lot of loud parties, underage drinking, and vandalism. UNH Police made several arrests, several students were transported to the hospital, and others are pending charges through the conduct system. With just two weekends to go in the semester (one for those of you not attending commencement), we need your cooperation at keeping things from getting to that point again. Remember that 24 hour quiet hours are in effect through Commencement. Any conduct issues that occur from now until May 22nd will result in conduct hearing during the summer. Even those who are attending graduation are not immune from having their diplomas withheld by UNH due to conduct issues. This weekend, there will be Apartment Staff presence along with increased Police presence at the Gables. If your apartment is excessively noisy or is hosting a party, you should expect to see someone knocking at your door.
Thanks for your cooperation and good luck on exams and finishing up for the semester.
What? The last legitimate weekend of the semester, one that was Cinco de Mayo weekend and included nicer weather and a concert, and college students were drinking! What a shame. What is wrong with you people? How are going to get anywhere in life when you drink alcohol on the weekends. We're in college to learn people, not party...
As a Gables resident I was pretty surprised by this email. I can't recall last weekend being any louder or more hectic than most weekends at the Gables. In fact the two nights from the year I recall being the "worst" were homecoming and the afternoon and night of the Wiz Khalifa concert. Homecoming, my building and the entire complex was trashed, last weekend did not compare. I remember having our window open this weekend and thinking that there were a decent amount of parties and apartments raging, but it really didn't seem too much out of the norm.
I also want to add that it is absolutely ridiculous that there will be increased staff and police presence at the Gables this weekend. The increased staff and police presence is only going to be a waste. It is 24 hour quiet hours and anyone having a party this weekend is an idiot... although my apartment is planning a modified case race with a few friends, but we are keeping it very small because of the noise issue. (Although, I do think 24 hour quiet hours is a bit excessive for a Friday and Saturday. I understand that finals are important but if we had say 8-11 PM "social hours" that would be a great way to ease some stress. And let's face it, anyone who is studying on a Friday or Saturday night should be at the library anyways. Sundays are for studying, everyone knows that.)
In other news, salaries for every tenured track professor, associate professor and assistant professor have been released. Check them out to see how much you least favorite professors make and how little your favorites make. In my three years at UNH, my absolutely favorite professor was actually just a lecturer and she isn't being hired back next year. I've had her three times and I'm pretty upset, but what can you do. The UNH history department is ranked 18th in the entire country so there isn't much for me to complain about.
Stay classy, not UMassy.