Monday, September 21, 2009

The More You Know

Watch the following video before you read this blog post:

The reason I wanted you to watch that video is so you understand how to read the following "The more you knows" I wrote. I recommend reading these in the tone from the video to get the most out if it. Quick note: TMYN is originally from NBC in which Tom Brokaw read off different PSA's and has since been copied by The Conan O'Brien show, Family Guy and The Office as well as several other shows.

UNH: The More You Know

Did you know that you can chew Morning Glory seeds to get highs very similar to LSD? It actually became so popular for teenagers that flower shops began to ID people to make sure they were 18 to purchase the seeds. It can be make you puke because of the chemicals on the seeds so make sure you wash them thoroughly before chewing.

Fact: UNH is one of only nine land, sea and space grant institutions in the nation. Myth: UNH has always been known as the "Wildcats." Fact: UNH's original nickname was the "Bulls."

Did you know (and you better because I wrote about this before) that you can put marijuana in peanut butter crackers and microwave it to get similar highs to eating brownies. (See my firecracker if you missed it.)

Fact: Maine sucks. UMass blows. But both those links are cool.

Did you know that Durham Market Place (the dump) requires two ID's when purchasing alcohol? So those of you with fake ID's stay away. Try Campco or a gas station off campus. The best is to make friends with someone 21+.

Fact: Every year SCOPE claims to get the biggest show ever, but then they disappoint. It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't talk it up so much. I understand that a lot of people like Akon, but the way they bragged the week before announcing the show you would have thought they got fucking Jay-Z or the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Did you know that you can crush up vicodin and smoke it in a bowl?

If you get in a fight with someone bigger than you, use a baseball bat.

Fact: Keystone Light is the beverage of champions.

If you are picking classes at the end of the semester, it is okay to work around your drinking schedule. Make priorities ahead of time, if you don't want Friday classes stick to that plan. I don't have Friday classes or a class before 11 all week. It can be done.

Fact: UNH hockey coach Dick Umile is overpaid. Yes, that North Dakota game last year was fucking nuts, but he doesn't deserve the money he makes without ever brining a championship to Durham. I want fucking results!

Myth: UNH stands for University of No Holidays. (we get a few)
Myth: UNH stands for University of No Hardware. ('85 women's lax)
Myth: UNH stands for University of New Hampshire. (see next one)

Fact: UNH stands for University of Nonsensical Happenings. I run this shit!

The guys at UNH-Hi-Lites are back again. I must thank them for the two shout outs they gave me, and congratulate them for their shout out in TNH last week. I recommend reading their blog, as long you still read mine. Also, I submitted another column to TNH, hopefully it will be in Tuesday's paper.

Fact: People continuously find this blog by searching for "UNH porn."

Fact: This is the greatest song about the greatest song in the world:

Stay classy, not UMassy.


  1. Fact: The first cow/horse (I forget which one) was artificially inseminated at UNH.

    Fact: UNH stands for the University of Nasty Herb.

    Fact: UNH gave their men's basketball coach, Bill Herrion, a 5-year extension. He hasn't done shit.

    Fact: I'm really anxious to see how UNH men's hockey does this year since they lost about 3402342 players from last season.

    Fact: That above number might be an exaggeration.

    Fact: Regardless, I'll still be drunk at hopefully every home game.

  2. I definitely agree with that last one.
    You also reminded me:
    Fact: Conant Hall is the oldest chem lab in the nation.