Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Drink Of The Week: Sangria

Jay-Z says it best in his version of “Young Forever” with the line “So let’s just stay in the moment, smoke some weed, drink some wine, reminisce, talk some shit, forever young is in your mind.”
I’m sure that when he wrote that line he pictured some damn expensive wine. Well, sometimes college students can’t afford that. This is why Carlo Rossi Sangria is a great purchase if you’re looking for some deliciously cheap red wine. Don’t get me wrong, when it comes to alcohol beer is always my first choice. Some Sam Adams seasonal or Newcastle Brown Ale are two of my personal favorites, and when it comes to cheaper beer I argue there is none better than PBR, despite its high carbonation. But as a college student who doesn’t work during school sometimes money is an issue and I also like some variety. (Side note my main alcoholic beverage purchases are cheap 30’s or a handle of Svedka. Lately I’ve been working on my taste for whiskey.)

Carlo Rossi has a bunch of different wines, but their Sangria is the best. Plus you can usually find a jug of it at the DUMP. That’s right, I said a jug. I’m talking about $12 for a 4-fucking-liter jug. At 10% it is more than twice the alcohol content of a light beer and it still goes down easy. Seriously, drink it chilled and it tastes like grape juice. Let me repeat some of that info again: For just 12 bucks you get 4 fucking liters… and probably a killer hangover! Bottom Line: Sangria gets you fucked up without taking a big hit from your wallet.

 Guys, you’re drinking red wine so you will feel like a pimp, which will help your confidence with the ladies. From personal experience, you feel even more like a pimp or a rock star (and the alcoholic you’re slowly turning into) if you drink it straight out of the jug.  If you are more of a heavyweight, or just sexually insecure and afraid to drink “gay-ass” wine because you’re not European, (it’s okay I have friends from Europe) many people like adding a shot of vodka to a glass of sangria. But be warned, even at 10% I always get wrecked after a few glasses. I have seen it get the best of some experienced drinkers who would put 95% of our campus to shame in a game of drink. Cheap wine works in mysterious ways, it can put some people to sleep and others will get a boost of energy. And ladies, you will love it too because of its smooth taste and it is healthier than a beer. Some of my best memories (what I can remember of them that is) involve sitting around a fire on the beach up at Bar Harbor, passing around a jug of Sangria. One of those memories involves me ending up in the freezing ocean water at night with all my clothes on, but this isn’t the time to dive into that one.

Stay classy, not UMassy.


  1. fuck that 95% shit, I will out drink each and every one of you nonsensical pansies. Oh, and my container of choice is a plastic measuring cup, that way later on I know exactly how much Carlo Rossi I just puked up. True story.

  2. that is, of course, if is already using my Yatzee shaker...

  3. Glug the jug, watch Live From Axis Mundi, use empty jug to play along with Eugene's fire bucket solo, rinse and repeat.