Monday, September 20, 2010

The Art of BS

If there is one thing I have learned about being successful in college it is mastering the art of bullshit. Although, personally, I enjoy horse shit a lot more than bullshit. Just try yelling horse shit. Horse shit! It is really is fun... probably my favorite curse word. Even though it isn't one word, but that's neither here nor there.

Anyways, back on topic. If you know how to handle your bullshit, college is going to be much more simple. For example, bullshitting your way through class discussions or papers for 400 level classes, TA or grad student graded classes is perfectly acceptable. (Side note: I just tried spelling that "exceptable" and couldn't figure out why it wasn't a word. It's only Monday... this is gonna be a long week.) For example, today I had a class discussion on roughly 130 pages of a book. I read about 12 pages right before class. (I almost always do the readings but wasn't able to catch up because I went home this weekend and left the book at school.) I was able to contribute a couple key points during the discussion without being extremely vague or sounding like a douche who thinks a discussion is their turn to lecture the class. Seriously, there may not be anyone I can't stand more than class discussion lecturers. Every class has one and there is nothing better than when a professor calls them out for being wrong. Now, when it comes time to write a paper on that book, I will definitely need to read up and put the proper time and effort into it. I was simply buying myself some time.

Anyways, knowing when to and when not to bullshit is extremely important when it comes to the art of bullshit. Trying to bullshit your way through an in-depth paper, whether it is a research or analytical paper, for an upper-level class usually won't end well. Especially if the professor is the one who grades the paper. I'm sure it can be done, but it probably won't be worth the risk. Professors aren't dumb and most of them can smell bullshit by the end of an intro paragraph. So, if you are thinking of staying out all weekend and BS-ing a paper at 10 p.m. on a Sunday night you may want to reconsider your plans. Unless it is for an intro/survey class, then you can BS your way to at least a B+ without a sweat.

Stay classy, not UMassy.


  1. Firefox's spell check recognizes "horseshit" as one word spelled correctly, therefore making it a curse word, singular.

  2. Interesting, Safari underlines "horseshit." Recommending "horse shit" and also "horse-shit."

  3. im a big fan of "hogwash"

  4. nerdiest contextualized conversation of horseshit ever

  5. Like a Boss, bitches