Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Walk like a penguin, but don't go insane.

That wasn't quite the storm I was expecting, but hey, classes were cancelled so I really don't care. I made a trek across campus to Stillings around noon today and I don't think I've ever seen Main Street so empty while students are on campus. A-Lot was a massive winter wasteland, it felt like Antarctica or something. Quick tip, walking like a penguin makes walking on non-plowed sidewalks way easier. I do plan on constructing an igloo eventually, but I don't see that happening today.

Looking down Main Street this morning.

The following is a text saved in my drafts from last night:

 "bus sliding down hill, octopus and fucking lobster... drunk texting is a myth."

Now before you completely judge me, allow me to explain. (First off you should note I started the night going 8-0 in beirut and finished around 12-2 or something like that, so yes, alcohol was involved.) I saved that in my drafts to remember things I wanted to write about. First, on the way to my class yesterday afternoon I was on a bus at the hill past the upper and lower quads. As the bus got towards the top of the hill the driver had to stop, but then the bus couldn't make it up the hill and it spun out. The driver had to back down the hill and then floor it to make it back up. But don't worry, operations were curtailed at 10 PM. I was pretty impressed that UNH did cancel classes so far in advanced, however I don't think I needed 5 text messages and three emails to tell me. One would have sufficed. Now, to the next part of that text draft. "Octopus and fucking lobster." A friend of ours came over and made hotdogs and pasta for dinner last night. The hotdogs were split like little kids like so they resemble an octopus. When she tried to explain the meal a few hours later (in a drunken state of course) she described it as octopus fucking lobster. You know, because pasta comes from lobster... a derh... and finally I have a theory that drunk texting is a myth, so I wanted to remember that to write about. Let me explain:

In my drunkest, "least-functionable"  state I can still send a text that doesn't look like this "heydg wnaa met at dhOp at 11?" or "iM so wassteted, had likke 7 shits of wisky an 8 beeeerzs." I do however text very strange thoughts, but at least they are in proper grammar, for the most part. Seriously, my drunk texts have better grammar then this blog on most occasions. A lot of these texts are also sent to my twitter, so if you don't follow me yet you probably should. So, I don't mean that drunk texting as a whole is a myth, but rather the bad spelling of a drunk text is completely fabricated by the texter to try and convince the textee how drunk they are. 

Anyways, enjoy your snow day and don't go insane out there.

Stay classy, not UMassy.


  1. I still manage to compose fairly readable texts while drunk. They just don't always make sense context-wise.

    And holy crap I was shocked they announced classes were canceled today so early as well. Then again, Huddleston tweeted like halfway through yesterday that we prob wouldn't have school, so I was just waiting for the inevitable.

    Def made for a fun Tuesday night knocking back pitchers at Libby's.

  2. i love following marky mark on twitter, ive always wanted him to retweet me...

  3. "Seriously, my drunk texts have better grammar then this blog on most occasions."

    To prove your point, better grammar *than* this blog.

  4. I want to bring up an interesting point which also brings me to my prediction: I bet you have a flip/keyboard phone which is far easier when it comes it texting than with a touchscreen phone when under the influence

  5. lol i agree with the comment above. I have a touchscreen so that's true for me. Is that true New Hampshirite?

  6. don't worry about building an igloo, there's already one all set up, complete with firepit off of foss farm road

  7. You're right, I do have a regular key pad... that didn't occur to me. I tried my friend's touchscreen the other day and I couldn't do it sober.