Wednesday, March 3, 2010

A Reader Email and Extreme Munchies

The following is a reader email I got last night:
Im 17 and a junior in New York State. I want to go to UNH because ive been to the campus and it seems pretty awesome. It seems like a pretty well rounded school and what id like my college to be. I took a little tour and everything, ate at the cute little sandwich etc. but i didnt learn enough. Imna be really honest. I love me some happy juice. how free would you say the happy juice flows in UNH? I want to imagine keg wonderlands hidden deep in the New Hampshire wilderness... and the smell of Stella Artois & Yuengling B/T (my favorite) filling every dorm room. So what can you tell me about the parties/ drinking of UNH? its a crutial part of my college career. I do not take my drinking lightly. Another part would of course be the women. Im talking in general here. Are they hicks? When i was on campus (a few months ago) the average seemed to be less than ideal. Of course i saw a very small sample... but it wasnt lookin too good. If i was to go to UNH, would there be a good selection? I dont do drugs... so i really dont care about that aspect of UNH... but i wanna know all about the blondes/booze. I know you cant really speak for the student population of the future but there must be some trends you can tell me about. Some info on admissions would be helpful too. Im currently in Trig/ALG 2 and it blows. Im not doing that great in a few subjects. Would you say UNH is hard to get into? I really do like UNH but it has to be able to give me the college experence that i want. Im pretty sure you have an idea of what that is for me by now. (HINT: booze is to mouth as women is to bed) But i am a nice guy too, i swear to god. Id also like to know if there is a pattern of nice girls that go there so Will can love someone. That would be great. Thanks for any help you can provide. 

That was probably one of the best emails I've received since starting the blog and I was honored that I would be contacted. Needless to say, I replied with honesty explaining UNH's night life, availability of alcohol and the beautiful women. Of course most high schoolers think that they will be able to roll up to any party and get in so I explained what college life is really like. UNH is a pretty awesome place, but I have yet to discover a "keg wonderland" in the heart of college woods...

So last night I had used my vape and I got an extreme case of the munchies, like worst than I've ever had them. I decided to hit up the vending machine in the basement of my dorm. I walk out in the hallway and the first thing I hear is a girl down the hall say to a guy "I can still taste it in my mouth." I immediately say "Ew" louder than I meant and then start laughing. Out loud. I couldn't help it. I decide not to take the elevator because I couldn't imagine having to be in a small room with complete strangers. I took the stairs down to the basement and to the vending machine. I decide to get a bag of peanuts and Doritos. Then I decided to get a second bag of Doritos, but it gets stuck. I couldn't shake the machine because someone was doing laundry so I realize that I must buy a 3rd bag of Doritos. Luckily it gave me both packages. As I bend down to grab my snacks someone gets inline behind me. So, at about 11:30 p.m. I turn around with three bags of Doritos and one bag of peanuts. I have to bit my lip not to laugh because I can picture what I look like. There was no denying that I had the munchies so I made a beeline to my room and chowed down. And it was delicious.

Stay classy, not UMassy.

1 comment:

  1. Well he's not gonna find any Yuengling here; we're just too far North!