Help Me Help You: A Job Opportunity

Hello dedicated readers, fellow students, friends and alumnae. I have a very important announcement to make. Over this past weekend I came to realize a few things about the blog. Because of the mass amounts of fan mail I have been receiving and the amount of time the blog has required there is noway I can continue to run the blog.

(Alone.)

So, I have decided to create a competition for the volunteer job (I'm poor give me a break) for the position of official blog secretary beginning ASAP. I have realized that with the new year I have thousands of new readers and running the blog has simply become to much of hassle for my busy schedule. The blog has been receiving record page hits on almost a daily basis and the blog's email inbox has been flooded with comments, constructive criticism, advice, and especially from people who want my social security number. NOTE: Never give anyone who claims to work at an off shores bank in Nigeria your social security number. I learned that one the hard way.

But seriously people I need you to help me, help you. This is what the secretary position consists of:

• Reading fan mail
• Deleting hateful fan mail before I read it
• Responding to fan mail (when I am too busy researching)
• Typing out posts through dictation when my carpal tunnel flares up
• Pretending to be my girlfriend in public
• Helping me find UNH related issues
• Editing blog posts before publishing
• Going to my classes when I am busy writing
• Getting my hockey tickets on Monday mornings
• BONUS: If 21, buying me alcohol

Here are some basic requirements that I ask of all applicants:

• Be a current UNH student
• Speaks English fluently
• Types at or above 45 words per minute
• Preferably (but not required) female
• Arriving to work on time and prepared
• Understands the rules and basic principles of grammar
• Able to access and use the internet
• You must own your own laptop

Here are some basic specifications:

• Any major is acceptable
• The position will require about 1 hour per day
• There are no set hours, work at your own time
• You must be on-call incase of an emergency
• Some work can be done from your home

This is a very serious preposition and a great opportunity for anyone looking to get into the secretary fields. Unfortunately this does not qualify as an internship, but it will provide you with great experience for your future.

Please email all applications and resumes to unhblog@yahoo.com. An attached word document or directly in the the email is acceptable. Please use your UNH email to confirm that your are a student. With your applications I am requiring an essay of no more than 1 page on why you would be such a good member of the University of Nonsensical Happenings team. No recommendations are necessary. If you can make me laugh and have a good attitude you have a great shot for this one of a kind opportunity.

The deadline for you to submit your applications is October 28th at 10 p.m. I know that is only 9 days away but I expect to receive a large amount of submissions. This will give me plenty of time to set up interviews with the finalists because I need this to be done quickly, before I die of over exhaustion.

Thank you. I look forward to receiving your applications.

Stay classy, not UMassy