After years spent perfecting the art of making ‘cheesy fries,’ Kurt has found a higher calling.
In a nationally televised press conference, Kurt [Last name withheld] announced his retirement from making food for those under the influence to devote his life to God and join the priesthood. The timing of his retirement has brought great confusion amongst most fans of his work since Kurt was considered to be in the prime of his career.
“It’s with a heavy heart that I am announcing my retirement to serve our Lord in the best way He sees fit,” said Kurt with his eyes welling up with tears. “I know that I will be missed around here, but I must do what is best for me and my relationship with God.”
After concluding his short speech, Kurt hugged long time employee, and friend Dane Diliegro and handed him the bell that adorned the window for so many cold Durham nights.
There is no information available concerning what sort of sign from God Kurt received that prompted him to leave his white truck behinds, but there is absolutely no truth to the rumor that a certain writer told him that his food could cure the blind.