We have all seen these lists on Facebook so it was a surprise to us when we realized there was not one for dear old UNH. Needless to say we got together one night and brainstormed up a quick list. UNH is a pretty unique campus and we know this list could go on forever so feel free to share any we missed online. (Props to Lady Meow for the idea to do this.) Join the facebook group here!
You know you go to UNH when:
1. You’ve taken a suggestive picture with the Wildcat statue. (The Wildcat statue in front of the Whit makes for a perfect location for that new Facebook profile picture to show everyone how fun and creative you can be. Although, this spot just lost a lot of creativity points since we just mentioned it. Quick! Find something else to take a photo in front of before we write again!)
2. You're sick of being Umili-ated and called the University of No Hardware
3. You know that the UNH version of Hansel & Gretel is when you can follow a trail of pizza vomit from DHop to Madbury Road or Stoke.
4. You go to T-Hall beach even though there’s no water.(Every spring when weather begins to get warm students flock to Thompson Hall lawn to get in some much needed tanning and some new sport called “not swimming.”)
5. Classes are never canceled. (They would rather you become buried under snow, frigid from power loss, and paddle down Main Street in monsoons with your Kayak and lifejacket.)
6. When your two most famous alumni are as follows: The guy who hosted Global Guts and the first person who admitted to fucking Tiger Woods. (Go Wildcats!)
7. You can’t tell the difference between Sketched Out and Improv Anonymous. (Here is a hint. Sketched Out does sketch comedy. Improv Anonymous does improvisational comedy. Both are hilarious and really attractive.)
8. You have a love/hate relationship with Scope. (For every MGMT there is a Lupe Fiasco. Pick your side.)
9. When you have cut someone off on the Durham 500. (The one-way oval surrounding downtown, that makes for a perfect NASCAR track. Always remember: stay low on the corners and hug the outside on the straight-aways. )
10. You get police texts about hot dogs assaulting people. That’s an interesting text message to wake up to.
11. When you constantly go to frat parties, leave disappointed and comeback the following week anyways.
12. You feel a true connection with a specific librarian. *cough* David Severn *cough*.
13. On Fridays you have to navigate your way around 400 kegs of Keystone on Main Street.
14. Fuck Maine even though Massachusetts way more of a douche bag.
15. You’ve taken Nutrition 400 yet you still order cheesy fries from Kurt’s. (Oh, boy, do we ever!)
16. You get run over by a horse when the Red Sox win the World Series.
17. The main dining hall is considered one of the best in the country but you don’t have any salt. You do however, have $32 shakers that are hidden in the most inconvenient places possible.
18. When Making Babies is an actual class, but sadly, not a lab.
19. The sciences building always smells of road kill, rotting research, or general death. (Nothing scares away a Liberal Arts students like creating a morgue-like environment for your students!)
20. Someone tells you they live in the Greens and you immediately shudder.
21. You’ve been affected by a Stoke fire alarm. (Either you lived there and had to leave the building for hours at a time, or you have taken a Stoke refugee in for the night.)
22. When Bob Marley is an epic comedian.
23. You buy your fresh produce at the DUMP, and by fresh produce we mean beer.
24. Somebody serves alcohol in a sketchy basement and calls it an Irish Pub.
25. The best party of the night took place at Wildcatessen.
26. Thompson School and CAB…. Hahahaha.
27. God thanked your campus ministry by giving it antrax.
28. A certain convenience store accepts words of honor for ID.
A cut-down version will also appear in the newspaper Tuesday and there will be a facebook group for this so stay tuned.