Friday, April 2, 2010

Popping My Cherry via Blog

Setting: Dimond Library, I love you but you disappoint me sometimes.
I am bothered. I absolutely cannot stand when I have an important blackboard posting, e-mail, 911 internet need to know like NOW sort of deal and I simply CANNOT get on a computer (because God forbid I want to do well in school) Whuurrs my no child left behind rights?

The reasons why I am unable to get a computer is for the following observations/thoughts:
  1. Some bimbo is Facebook chatting WHILE attempting to READ a book - not even on Google books mind you. Why are you at a computer in the first place? Wheres that MacBook that mommy and daddy bought you for graduation? (Editors note: I have a MacBook.)
  2. I refuse to walk to the catacombs of the library just to find a computer and those hanging computers do me no justice because I'm afraid they will fall on me and then BAM! UNH has a lawsuit.
  3. I see my peers wallowing around other people's Facebooks searching for something exciting, but subconsciously thinking why you don’t have enough friends to find exciting in the first place.
  4. My crackberry just ain’t gunna cut it. I have the older curve, ole bessy can only do so much. With that, I’m not switching over to AT&T for a stupid iPhone that cracks and you can’t get insurance on it. Which is btw, is worse than panic at the disco.
  5. I don’t feel like wasting my time at the front desk asking for a computer because I may get a 'cluster computer' with no internet and apparently it’s my fault it's their boring work study job. I don’t even get work study. So, be happy for your income for that Burnett's vodka you yearn for (and hangover). There are Haitian kids that need home so move your ass.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Dimond, its only place where I actually get stuff done even while BBMing or texting. The staff is also very helpful. Sometimes. Just try not to look like you hate your life okay? You're gunna make it. For those of you dominating that lab like a boss, submitting that half-assed application that your mom told you to do, writing that D+ paper, or fooling me into you’re doing something important. I salute you. You go Glen Coco you go! (That ladies and gentlemen was a Mean Girls reference for those who don't know girls: Tina Fey wrote that amazing screenplay. Guys: When Lindsay Lohan(hot picture) had nice tits and didn't go loca.)
Back to the point: I thought this was college? I don’t know if some you of know this or not, but there was life without Facebook and in fact the internet did not exist at one point! (Oh how I would hate not having YahooAnswers for chemistry) I don’t know about you but I have shit to do, shit to pass, and party guilt free afterwards. So stay clear. I'm sure people feel the same when walking into the room. So think twice before logging in, or at least be quick. I mean I'm guilty of it too but I have better things to do( like have multiple orgasms).
Nevertheless, clearly today we're all apathetic cunts and couldn’t give two shits about my predicament (yeah, I just said that).

I for one stood up to this problem (I don’t care, there’s 20,000 people on this campus I am not seeing you anytime soon) . If I do see you, its only awkward if you make it awkward. Even
@revrunwisdom can’t come up with that shit. I know I'm right and that's all that matters.

I approached as the victim had two FB chats up, admiring their own picture probably, and had BB on the backburner. Tuition at it's finest.
  • me-"excuse me?"
  • victim-"ya?" (had a ‘tude. One of those 'icantbebothered' people....oh no you didn’t.)
  • me-"are you actually using that for coursework because I'd really like to know if my professor posted an extra thing on blackboard I really need to see in for an exam and unfortunately I cannot afford a nice iPhone such as yours to see that nor a phone that has internet. So if you please don’t mind." I said in the most classy, condescending way making them feel like the asshole because they know damn well they should be doing something…oh I don’t know…school related? Yeah. Think so.
Also, it probably didn't help the that I'm giving them the crazy eyes and almost about to whip out tiger claw, justa little neat trick I learned from the new guy ;)

Needless to say, they got right up. Bah, love it. Me-1 bimbo-0. Simple. If you don’t like something DO something about it. Case in point, exhibit A: You know you cannot stand that one friend who complains that they’re fat yet they’re sitting right across from you eating that fabulous cheesy bread. Well there’s your fucking answer Sherlock. Again, probably not going see them anytime soon. Now that I think of it, maybe I was already pissed off that day because I found out I was going to be paying for some illegal immigrants’ health care (if you’re going comment don’t waste it on a political debate there are better things to do and I’m sure there’s some nerdy forum for that elsewhere).
In the end I got what I wanted. Hope you all liked it. If you didn't, sounds like a personal problem. See ya next week probably about how the student body dresses here (lawwwd help them).
Well now, I'm k-kinda busy

Live free or die,
LadyMeOW and ps, for all you twatters our there follow me! @ladymeowUNH. I update often w/ pictures (for those of you who hate reading).

9 comments:

  1. People at the front desk DO ALWAYS look like they are at the verge of cutting their wrists! With any luck, you will probably see the the lovely Facebook bimbo because, while this is technically a large campus, you ALWAYS see the one person you don't want to see.
    I enjoyed this new addition to the UNHBlog! Keep them coming.

    PS I hope that when you talk about how the student body dress in the near future you address the fact that girls NEEEEDDD put put some friggen pants on (paper thin spandex that you can see right through doesn't count as bottoms)

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  2. so how single r u??

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  3. yaaaaay! i was worried the female blogger would ruin what was going on here... and she didn't!
    p.s. you forgot to mention how you like dick.

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  4. she tweeted to me that she is straight, and likes cock, so i assume that means she's also single and looking for some ass

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  5. anonymous#1: i'm way ahead of you on the leggingzzz. jaysus don't get me started. I wear them too but I don't let my ass hang out.

    anonymous#2-how single do you want me to be?

    the maine guy-you speak the truth<3

    meowwwww.

    -lady

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  6. love it! keep it up lady meow!

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  7. aww thank you :) of course I will<3

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  8. YO. Cluster computers do have internet. You just have to plug them into an orange port. Although I agree, still not enough computers or orange ports. Or space, really. I think we've outgrown our library.
    Also, don't hate on work-study lib kids! My job doesn't buy much vodka but it at least gets me groceries. I love working @ the Dimond but people are really rude to me repeatedly for things that are not my fault (i.e. no more wireless computers, checked out reserve books the hour before the exam, etc) so by the time you waltz up I'm not so happy anymore. I feel lucky to have my job and try to be nice, I just feel that people should be nice right back. That is all! Carry on. :)

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  9. Didn't you apply for this work study job? lol. Again, this is for shits and giggles and just my observations

    I appreciate any comments! I love Dimond, I'm always wicked nice to you guys, again, you guys are very helpful :)

    enjoy the weather!

    -lady<3

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