Lactation room Vistors mostly perverts, says study

According to the results of a recent study, nearly 9 out of 10 people who visit the lactation rooms located in both the Memorial Union Building and the Dimond Library are not mothers, but rather, perverts.

“We weren’t all that surprised when we heard the results of this study. I think this actually just confirmed everyone’s suspicions,” said Dr. Taylor Hammerstein, the scientist in charge of the study. “We were surprised, however, about the incredibly low re-visiting rate of these perverts. It seems they get bored with the small, dark room after a very brief amount of time.”

A lactation room is like a small closet with a chair that ensures privacy for mothers who would feel more comfortable breast feeding their children in total privacy. Not all academic institutions offer rooms for breast feeding purposes. Interestingly enough, a great deal of fraternities do claim to offer such rooms, but they should probably be avoided just to be safe.