Sunday, April 25, 2010

We almost just hit a hooker!

Yes, this blog title does not lie. This past Friday night I went to the Red Sox game with three friends from UNH. It was a really fun game, even thought the captains from the BC hockey team threw out the first pitch of the game. We were in the right-centerfield bleachers, where apparently everyone hated BC. I heard everything from "Terriers" to "Black Bears" and even a few other UNH shout outs. Anyways the Red Sox won 4-3 thanks to David Ortiz hitting his first homerun of the year and Adrian Beltre drawing a bases loaded walk in the 8th inning. Once the game ended the real fun began.

First we were heading down a dark back street to cut through to Storrow Drive to get out of the city. All of a sudden this "woman" crosses the street right in front of the car. The driver had to slam on his breaks and swerve, she literally came out of nowhere. Instantly all four of us shouted "We almost just his a hooker!" or some variation of "hit" and "hooker." Now, if you asked me to describe a prostitute in general I would include the following: tall high heeled-boots, booty shorts, tank top, big hair, big boobs and kind of dirty and sad looking in a general way. That is exactly how this "lady" looked, which is why we all assumed that she was in fact, a hooker.

So once we left the city we decided to grab some McDonalds, but the one we exited the highway for was closed. We somehow ended up at another one and eventually made it back to the  highway thanks to the driver's GPS. But before that we had to search for a place to pee, went to about four or five places that were all closed or "didn't have a bathroom," but they all had groups of guys sitting on the hoods of suped up imported cars who looked like they wanted to stab us.

On the way back home we stopped at the rest stop on the New Hampshire boarder on route 95. At the restroom we ran into a group of older guys who were also at the game, extremely intoxicated and had a limo. One guy looks at my friend, who had a Sox hat and shirt on and goes "were you guys at the game too?"
"Yeah" I replied.
"Ah, so who won... Ortiz?"
None of us replied and the guy goes, "Oh, so Papelbon won?"
He then continued on about loosing his cellphone in the limo or something like that. Seriously, this guy was more of a mess than someone who didn't keep their eye on their drink at (insert any sketchy UNH party spot that you can relate to.)

One can say that it was quite the eventful night.
Stay classy, not UMassy.

2 comments:

  1. noooooooooooooooooot a good post. zzzzzzzzz

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  2. Ahhhh, nothing say fun like swerving to miss a hooker - good times.

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