Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Thief Hits Williamson

I have been asked by a few people to let it be known that a thief has been breaking into rooms at Williamson Hall. Over the past week several ipod touches, two iphones and a brand new laptop have been stolen among other things of lesser value. Strangely, many of these crimes have occurred on the same floor of the all freshmen dorm. All of the thefts remain a mystery because usually only one thing has been taken from each room. For example, when one student's laptop was stolen, his ipod which was right next to the computer, was left alone. In another room across the hall, one student's ipod and xbox 360 controller were taken while his roommate's ipod was left unharmed on his desk. All of the thefts have occurred when both roommates have been gone for an extended period of time and no one has reported any suspicious behavior. Obviously the burglar knows what he, or she, is doing. It is unknown if there is any connections between the incidences, but it is known that if anyone is caught in the act they will be severely beaten by the members of this floor. Floor members have discussed taking turns keeping an eye out for anything out of the ordinary and even considered taking laps around the floor randomly throughout the day. It is not expected that a member of this floor has been involved, but it has not yet been ruled out. If you have any tips of the break-ins please contact UNH police immediately or even feel free to leave an anonymous comment here. Thanks. 

PS: If you are the thief, first of all fuck you, you slimy piece of shit. You deserved to be beaten into submission. The Williamson residences, primarily the members of a specific floor, dare you to come back. Fucking asshole. 


  1. Bananas the Bear from UMAINE has been doing it. He works under contract for girltalk, and is stealing people's music so girltalk can mix it and make terrible songs out of good songs.

  2. We should known umaine was up to something! ARG, my 'riod rage is kicking in!