Wednesday, April 8, 2009

TNH Does Their Job

This morning I began to write a new article about our school newspaper, The New Hampshire. This entry was going to include things that annoy me about the paper and other things that I really like about it. The funny thing is the entire piece was going to be a joke based on the fact that TNH had failed to mention my blog so far. So this afternoon I get out of class and I check the website and what do I see, a comment from none other than Executive Editor John Wayne Ferguson, who may have the most badass name ever.

 I was going to write a fake story about TNH offering me a job and then how I turned it down because that would be a sellout move. Wow, TNH, way to ruin my idea for three future entries I had been planning about you guys. I mean really? I've mentioned that I don’t have many ideas and now your fucking it up for me! You have really put me in a bind for future articles... So now I’m going to include my original opinions about The New Hampshire (the entry, and the previous one in which I called TNH out, were originally meant to be very sarcastic and in the end it would be obvious that I actually admire what TNH staff does.) 

One thing that annoys me about the paper is the “World” section. I feel that as a school paper it should focus more on things surrounding the university (like my awesome blog). What I’m saying is that because there are two issues a week, (which is very impressive) I usually hear about the world news a day or two before TNH comes out. If the only reason they include the “World” section is to make the paper appear longer, try changing all the periods to size 14 font or make the margins bigger. That always works for me.

At this point I went into a rant about how they hadn’t wrote an article about me called “Who is The New Hampshirite?” much like the new South Park episode, “The Coon.” I even made t-shirts for them to give out about me:

Pretty damn snazzy I must admit.

Then I wrote about how I enjoy the “Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down” section because I almost always agree with their statements, seriously.  Another one of my favorite articles is the one they title “Police Log.” My favorite part about this article is how my name has never appeared in it, despite the attempts of the local police force.

            So Mr. Ferguson, if you’re still reading, how about a shout out in an upcoming issue? I think you owe it to me since you blew several of my ideas... basically for being way better than I ever expected. I could really use some advertising help! I would like to thank the staff of TNH, they deserve a lot more respect then students give them. I could never handle the type of pressure they do, which is why I post a blog under a fake identity. 

Well, The New Hampshire, keep up the good work. Stay classy, not Umassy,

The New Hampshirite 


  1. Haha, it's awesome you responded so fast. Honestly, we appreciate criticism and are always willing to listen to it. We just appreciate informed criticism more. So bring on the posts my dear man (or is it woman?....)

    As far as the World section goes, you're not the only one who doesn't like it. Some people feel (both outside of TNH and within) that we shouldn't run any wire content at all, or at least use it as a last resort.

    Personally, I like the section because it gives a sense of time and place to each issue of the paper. When people look back at these issues, that page will tell them what was going on in the world or the nation while this other stuff was happening at UNH. It goes to our duties as the paper of record for the community.

    It's just one opinion and it may be changed in the future (right now, next year's staffers are already making the decisions about what they're going to change next semester). Do you think you would feel differently if the page was buried deeper in the paper, say on Page 16 instead of Page 3? You are right that most people get their "big" news from the Net, I do too.

    As far as a shout-out goes, I can't promise anything (that goes against TNH policy), but I'd say keep reading Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down.

    Keep reading, stay out of the police logs and most of all, never ever call me "Mr.Ferguson" again.


    P.S. I kept wanting to call you TNH, if you get too popular there may be problems...

    P.P.S. We actually blog too, check it out at

  2. It is man.
    In complete seriousness, I almost wrote that the "World" section would fit better on the back page or something. I understand the need to cover those things, but I feel as though the UNH issues should take priority. Sorry about the Mr. Ferguson thing, that was my bad. Maybe you could refer to me as TNHT, you keep TNH because you were the original.